Sleep did not come easy to me. I ended up picking up my phone and changing my strategy to swiping right every time I had a match and messaging "Will you be my date to my best friend's wedding?". It is surprising how many men are repelled by me asking them if they would be my date for a wedding. They act so offended like half of them did not use a sleazy pick-up line or straight up asking for nudes. I think I broke the record for the most unmatched person in my area last night. If I was not in a desperate situation I think I would spread the word to everyone on the best way to chase a guy away.

Maybe the universe did not totally hate me since one guy that I matched with was willing to keep talking. Charlie was taken aback by my opening message but did not unmatch and actually asked for me details. I did admit that Ava was marrying my ex-boyfriend and we agreed to meet at Costa for a coffee today at 10 am. I am currently awake, getting ready for this date. Having one perspective is better than having none.

I decide on a simple outfit of a light grey jumper and dark jeans since I did not have the luxury of time. I even chose my nice coat instead of the work coat I use every day. Charlie is getting a good version of me, even if it is not my best version. I still need him to be wowed by whatever dress I wear to Ava's wedding, which I still need to pick out. I am already getting ahead of myself as I leave my flat, shutting the door behind me. Luckily, I live on the first floor and the Costa which we decided to meet at isn't a far walk.

The winter wind slaps me in my face as I walk outside, I pull my black scarf closer to my face, before putting my hand back into my pocket. At least it isn't raining. With the reward of a good cup of coffee in sight to warm me up, it will be worth it. The short walk to Costa ends as I join the line to order myself something warm. I pull out my phone, connect to the WiFi, and message Charlie to see if he has arrived yet. I am a little early, so I look around to see if anyone matches his pictures or for a small table for two.

Once I receive my coffee, I choose a table close to the door. Charlie still isn't responding and I don't spot anyone who looks like him around me. Each minute closer to 10 am, I feel my anxiety slowly rising. I take more sips of coffee than necessary as my leg shakes. Time trickles and soon it's 10:01 am when I get a message from Charlie that he is running late. This gives me hope that I am not being stood up after the rough night of vetting for candidates to take to Ava's wedding.

I recognise Charlie the second he walks into the store. The blue jacket and faded rip jeans are from a photo on his tinder profile. There's nothing defining about Charlie's features. He's not ugly, but he's no movie star. He's just another average guy on the street. I could do that. I don't want mega-hot out of this world, anyway. He goes to get coffee and pulls out his phone. I look away to not get caught staring like a weirdo and unlock my phone to randomly scroll. Charlie messages me that he's here, when we make eye contact, I wave and smile.

Charlie nods and returns to the line, not looking back at all. He joins me when he has an iced coffee. I like to think I look like the pictures on my profile but no one uses a random day selfie. We all use our best pictures from days or nights when we planned out our outfits in advance and agonised over our make-up.

"Evelyn right?" He asks, after sitting down. He sips on his coffee, scrutinising me.

"Yes, it's nice to meet you, Charlie. I'm glad you could meet up so soon." I smile, even though I don't feel like it with the way he's eyeing me up.

"You're welcome." Charlie pulls out his phone and starts scrolling. This causes an awkward lull in the conversation since he seems deep in thought while sipping his iced coffee.

"You look at pretty as the pictures my mom sent," Charlie concludes after a few moments.

"I-uh- thank you." Did he just say his mom? The easiest thing to do was to accept that statement as a compliment since there is a lot to unpack.

"So what's this wedding thing?" He puts down his phone, giving me his attention. I think I prefer it when he's concentrating on his phone.

"There's nothing more to tell than I've already told you," I reply. I told him most of the details last night and this morning while we were texting. He didn't seem judgemental over the phone but in person, he's something else.

"Well I don't know the full story, my mom just told me you needed a date for some wedding," he replied.

"Why do you keep bringing up your mom?" This is the second time he mentions her so I might as well address the elephant in the coffee shop.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention. She runs my tinder profile for me. I don't have much time to date between gaming sessions," he explains like it's the most obvious thing in the world and I'm a child who asked what's the difference between day and night.

"So I've been speaking to your mom the whole time?"

"Yeah, I didn't have time to read back. You guys spoke a lot. She gave me a summary. You want a date for a wedding and I want a new keyboard so just give me the details of the wedding and I'll see you then." He takes another sip of his iced coffee and pulls out his phone like he's ready to rush to his next appointment or should I rather say gaming session.

"I'm not getting you a keyboard."

He's sighs, locking his phone, "My mom is getting me this keyboard. She kept nagging like you are the perfect partner for me. So I struck up a deal if I go on a date and whatever wedding, she would sponsor my new keyboard. Keep up, Lyn."

I cringe at the shorting of my name. Lyn always reminded me of the old neighbour, named Lynn, whom I used to have when I was younger. She was always angry about her rose bushes being ruined by us looking in the bush's direction. Not exactly the best anecdote for a name. I take the last sip of my coffee and realise that like the end of my cup, it is the end of the cup.

Since this was not my first rodeo of a bad date, I follow my usual procedure, "I don't think we are compatible. Thank your time but I need to go."

Short, simple and sweet. Usually quick enough to bamboozle the bad date as I make my quick escape. I am already at the door when Charlie starts shouting, "what about the wedding-!?"

I do not engage. I keep walking and disappear around the corner into the Tesco express, in case he does actually try to follow me. I doubt Charlie will since he has his mommy doing all the hard work to get him dates on Tinder. While I am at Tesco express, I decide to buy a few items since I'm already here so I don't need to face the cold later on in the weekend.

Browsing the aisles gives me the escape I need to not think about the terrible date with Charlie. Or the bigger problem, my lack of a date to Ava's wedding. The self-pity is still prevalent as I end up buying way too many doughnuts and cookies from the bakery section for one person. Honestly, I know I'm making a decision I will regret when I'm chewing on a stale doughnut since I won't want to throw away and waste food.

The short walk home did not give me an escape from my thoughts. Charlie is a mess and I do have some sort of standards. Spending the night talking to his mom who was impersonating him has got to count as some sort of catfishing. On top of that, I find out that he is being bribed into dating me like I'm a chore. One thing is for sure, it explains why 'Charlie' did not run away with the wedding line on tinder. Maybe his mother is so desperate for grandchildren that she is willing to go on tinder and vet dates for her son. Their whole relationship sounds like a big red flag that shows up on Reddit posts.

I did try to give Charlie a chance and I do suppose we both wanted to use each other for different reasons. However, the idea of spending a week with him in a foreign country is not in the same league as a new keyboard. I pull out my phone to just straight up delete Tinder. I needed to find another way, though my hope was dwindling quickly.

That still leaves me with a massive problem. I need a date for Ava's wedding and she needs to know by tomorrow night. Time is running out and I need to figure out something else. She will call if I don't give her an answer. Can Prince Charming just appear right now? Like he needs to stop hiding as soon as possible.

The building is a little warming than the outside, which I am thankful for. I can't wait to get out of these clothes and into something more comfortable. As I'm walking towards my flat door, with my head hung low, Henry opens his creaky door, "Did you buy doughnuts?" 

~*~ 

Do you like coffee? What is your go to order? 

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