❝hey, minghao. we haven't spoken lately. did i say something? i miss you, you know. i know i'm dating wonwoo, but i haven't forgotten you. you're still so special to me, i don't want to lose you. please.❞  

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❝hey, guys.❞ minghao walks into the lunch room, scanning everyone and notices that byansu still isn't there. ❝where's byansu? is he still in hospital, or...? please tell me he'll be okay,❞

someone new, minghao hasn't seen them before, speaks up, ❝i'm guessing you're minghao. uh, byansu might not come back. he has an illness. junhui tried to tell you the other week, but you hung up on him apparently.❞ minghao hung his head in shame, it was true. he feels terrible. junhui is so nice to him, and minghao is just a dick back to him. junhui doesn't deserve him. maybe he is better off with wonwoo after all.  ❝so, uh, i'd go and visit him.❞

❝so you're telling me he's going to die soon? my own boyfriend has an illness and he's going to die soon and he didn't tell me...❞ minghao sighed. he couldn't be angry at junhui - he was obviously just trying not to upset him. he abruptly got up out of his seat and slung his bag over his shoulder as he made his way out of the hall when he spotted someone.

junhui.

❝junhui!❞ he yelled in surprise, ❝i've been looking for you! i just want to apologise for what i did a few days ago, i didn't mean to hang up. i just...my dad was calling me from downstairs, and you know how my dad is-❞  

❝minghao, it's okay. don't apologise if you're not sorry for anything.❞ junhui smiled, ❝besides, it's fine. wonwoo called me afterwards and we spoke until 4 in the morning and he fell asleep. gosh, he's adorable. i love him so much.❞ minghao's heart, for once, ached. ❝you should try and get a boyfriend so you know what it's like,❞

❝what if the person i want as my boyfriend is you?❞ minghao, what the fuck was that?

junhui looked at him, wide-eyed and just laughed. ❝nice joke, minghao.❞

he sighed.

❝and what if it wasn't a joke?❞

junhui just looked at him, in shock.

❝minghao, look. i've been trying to get over you, and now you pull this shit. why? why the fuck? i do love you, minghao, but i knew you didn't love me back. which is why i went with wonwoo, who i also had a crush on. i-i don't why you'd bring this up now. i'm happy with wonwoo. i'd be happy with you, if you'd confessed before, but now we're in this mess. so, who can you really blame apart from yourself?❞ he stared at minghao, shaking because of his anxiety levels rising. he didn't want to lose minghao as a friend, he just wanted to explain how he felt. ❝minghao, i value you as a friend. you're a really nice person, and i love you. as a friend. i don't want to lose you, seriously, but...i'm afraid i might now.❞

minghao shook his head, ❝i am so sorry. i had no idea you felt like that. i was being serious, but, if you don't like me like that anymore, then that's fine. i just feel so shitty, for everything i've put you through unbeknownst. you having that eating disorder, you feeling suicidal - i just...i hate myself for being the reason behind it. i don't deserve to have you as a friend. i'll...leave you alone. i, once again, am sorry.❞

junhui sighed, feeling tears building up in his eyes. ❝i thought everything was working out,❞ he swallowed the lump in his throat, ❝we can still fix it, right?❞ he choked on his own words.

❝if you can to, i don't see why you'd want to keep me as a friend, is all. i'm such a shitty frien- person.❞

❝oh, minghao. you're not. honestly.❞ junhui smiled, fondly. ❝we may not be dating, but i still love and treasure you. please, don't think bad of yourself. you're a gem, and i love you.❞ he admitted, and minghao just looked at him.

❝h-how? how don't you hate me yet? you've loved me for years, and i treat you like shit, yet you still like me? why? just drop me, honestly, i've done nothing but bad for you. i'm bad luck, honestly, it's what everyone says.❞

❝well, they're wrong.❞ and, for once, minghao felt loved.

________

it's yaboi, alyeo

i'm sorry for not updating since may. i'm such a shitty person hshsh :<<