Jacob

I know Rachel's thinking something that's freaking her out.

"Nothing." She says quickly.

She's hiding something but it's hard to focus on that right now.
I hadn't realized the smell of her hair... until right now. I take a deep breath through my nose. The smell of her shampoo. Lavender and Lilies. She still uses the same shampoo that drove me wild years earlier. Fuck. I used to deeply inhale the scent of her hair when we would make out. The smell would get me hard and we'd spend afternoons naked in each other's arms. But now, accompanying her scent, are her breasts, which are now pressed against my chest. I realize that she's not wearing a bra under her sexy new yellow dress, and I'm in my tight tank top against my chest.
    
Oh shit I freak out as I realize this closeness is getting me hard. God I hope she doesn't feel it.

I step back, " Fuck Rachel. What are you doing?"

"I'm doing nothing. You're the one who turned around." She snaps.

I pull my hair, " I have a fiancé."  I say looking at Rachel.

" I know that. Do you know that?" She says confused.

I look at her, "of course I know that. But you. You." I say getting frustrated.

"What about me?" 

"The dress, the smell of your hair. Your breast —,"

"JACOB!!!" Rachel screeches, crossing her arms around her chest.

I cover her mouth with my hand, "SHHHH." I listen for any movement in the house. "Shut up." I whisper.

"Jacob," Rachel whipseres, " you're scaring me right now." 

"Yeah. Well, I'm scaring me right now too."  I admit,  sitting on the porch swing again and lighting up another smoke. I take a few drags, "Rachel I'm sorry. I just — when you —-. Fuck. I'm sorry." I rest my arms on my knees and bow my head down. This is exhausting.

"Jacob. Zoe is a wonderful woman and you and her have a lot in common. Focus on that. Leave me out of your life. I was out of it all these years. No sense you bringing me back in."  Rachel says.

I nod my head still looking down, " yeah you're right."

"And never follow me on my dates. You live your life and I live mine. Deal?"  She adds.

"Deal. But mama really did suggest that me and Zoe go out."

Rachel walks towards the door to mama's house , "but you, of all people, know the chances of bumping into each other and you still came out.  Good night."  Rachel says leaving a sting in my heart as she goes inside the house. She's right. I know this town inside out and where everywhere is. I put out my smoke. I went inside to the washroom. I pee, brush my teeth. I look at myself in the mirror. That was close. Too close. Her scent, her body. Her presence is addictive and I need to quit it before I get myself in more trouble. But first I need relief.

"Hey Zoe."  I whisper once I quietly get in bed. "Hey sweets."  I say sliding my lips over her ears as my fingers make a trail up the side of her silky body as I gently play with one breast.

"Mmm." I hear a moan coming out of her chest. Good she's willing to play.  My hardness takes no time, since it's already —- never mind.

" Come over here." I whisper in her ear, " I want to warm you up." I tease as she lays on her back.

"Come on in." She whispers, Opening her legs.

I kiss her breasts. One than the other as I climb on top of her. I guide my hardness into her and feel an explosion within my body. I thrust in and out slowly, not to make too much noise. But I wanted to. I wanted to bang her so hard with pleasure. I want to be the one to make her moan. I want to be the one who makes her wet. I want to be the one she can't get enough of.

"Jacob. You're so hard." Zoe whispers approving my actions. "The fresh air out here is your own personal viagra." Zoe says in a teasing voice.

"Uhuh." Was all I can say as I focus on how much I needed this right now. It didn't take long before we both release and I lay down beside Zoe again. I kiss her head, "good night." She says as she turns the other way and soon is sound asleep.

I lay on my back with my hands tuck behind my head staring at the ceiling. A mix of satisfaction and guilt consumes me. I'm Confused right now. I'm not sure what I want. Maybe it's wedding jitters. Maybe I'm getting antsy being away from my day job and not working with my hands or maybe it's being in this small town of nothing. I shrug it off. I get comfortable and fall asleep with the memory of the smell of Rachel's shampoo.

********

I wake up to hearing Matty and Rachel in the kitchen. I lost track of time. What day of the week are we on anyways? 

"Mama." I hear Matty whisper to his mama, "uncle Jacob told me a story last night."

"Oh did he. Did it involve dragons and witches?" I make a sour face to Rachel's comment.

"No, it was about you as a princess." Matty says.

Crap. I get up slowly not to wake up Zoe, but quick enough so Matty doesn't say the story out of context, "hey good morning everyone." I whisper as I come out from behind the curtain.

Rachel looks at me surprise, " wow. You came quiet. Spy much?" 

I sarcastically smile at Rachel, " no actually. I heard  little man and I thought I'd join him for breakfast before he goes to school. I didn't know you were here." I said sitting down and grabbing a clean bowl on the table.

"Good morning Uncle Jacob. Tell mama about the story you told me." 

I pour my cereal and milk in my bowl, " Oh yeah. Matty wanted a story so I made up a story about a princess. Matty made you the princess."

"And the mean prince took you away." Matty shouts.

"Shhhh" Rachel hushes him, " Really a mean Prince. I wonder who." She comments, looking at me.

My eyes widen as I realize Zoe is only a dark room curtain away. It blocks light,  not sound. I put my finger over my lips to Rachel. She looks at me. I point behind me to the black curtain. Rachel glances at the curtain. Her expression changes as she rolls her eyes. She looks at me understanding that I want this conversation to end.

" Well. I'm glad you boys had a nice night together." Thank God for Rachel's good heart and understanding. She might hate me but she won't hurt me.

"Uncle Jacob said he will tell me a story again." Matty says putting his used bowl and cup in the sink.

Rachel looks at me with a tight smile, "hum, maybe Uncle Jacob is best to stick with words in a book, so as to not get himself in trouble."

I smile back at Rachel. God I —,

"Good morning my favourite people!" Mama says rolling in.

"Granny Jane!!" Matty shouts running to mama and giving her a big hug.

"Have a wonderful day at school Matty. It's Wednesday, you're half way through the week!"  Mama cheers.

"Good morning Mama Jane. Can I pick up anything for you?"  Rachel says beaming with light watching Matty hugging Mama.

"No thank you darling." Mama says, pulling herself to the table, "Jacob, could I have my meds.

I stretch across the table for mama's container. Rachel does the same and we grab each other's fingers. I look at her, she looks at me and we quickly let go. I hate that I get all frazzled when I accidentally touch Rachel. That she had this physical effect on me. Dame it!

"I'm so lucky to have two wonderful people that take such good care of me and are willing to help each other, even if we don't want to." I hear mama say.

" I have to go — to take Matty to school."  Rachel stutters. '' and Don't worry about picking up Matty after school.I'll be back on time." Rachel kisses mama, " if you need me just call. I won't be far."  Rachel says not even looking at me and walks out with Matty.

"Where's she going?"  I ask mama trying to sound casual.

Mama pours cereal in her bowl, with a smile on her face, " fishing."
   
I look at mama confused. " fishing? Why would she go fishi—" then it dawned on me. Hayes. Doesn't that kid have a summer job?? I can't ask mama any more about it. She will get suspicious.

"Good morning." Zoe says emerging from behind the curtain.

"Good morning darling. Just the two people I wanted to talk to." Mama said as Zoe sat to put her bowl together, " I was thinking about hosting an engagement party for the two of you."

"Wow, Mama, thank you!" Zoe says excitedly.

"Mama please. You don't have to, we have two or three engagement parties planned back home."

Mama darts her eyes at me. The smile on her face is replaced by sadness, " that may be so, but nothing screams family and celebration like a good old small town, under-the -stars party."

"Oh my, mama. I love your style.please Jacob. I never had anything small country in my life. I would love to include your family in our matrimony."

Oh god. How the hell did I get trapped into these crazy ideas? I roll my eyes at the two women I love most in this world, "Fine. Fine. We can have the party. But mama, Something small. Don't go over the top."

Mama cheers and claps her hands together, "PERFECT!! I get to throw a party, country style. I'll have Rachel pick up the decoration and put it together. She's good at that."

"I can help too mama Jane. I have years of experience in colour decor and fashion. I have planned weddings for a lot of my friends because I'm that good." Zoe says.

Mama looks at Zoe, " Maybe you and Rachel can work together."

Yep, here's where my life goes to the pig pens , full of shit.