Rachel

"You did what!?!" I raise my voice. I can't believe what mama Jane did.

Matty put his backpack down and ran to the TV room. I let him because I need to sort this out with Mama Jane.

"An engagement party for Zoe and Jacob. This Saturday. It won't be difficult. But there's folding tables in the garage. We can cover them with table cloths. Flowers from Katie and Gilbert and a few of the ladies in town can whip up some good home cooked dishes. We can have it like a potluck style."  Mama Jane says as she's writing on a pad of paper. After her announcement, I'd say it's the grocery list.

I love mama Jane and yes when she was younger the Bridgestone parties were over the moon, but now. Now isn't the time for this. "Mama with no disrespect, I can't wait for Jacob to leave. He's everywhere I go. Even Matty talks about him like he's his hero."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Mama Jane asks.

"No. Not when we agreed that he won't know about Matty."

Mama Jane smiles at me, " we are going to have this party. They are leaving next week. I don't know when the wedding is nor do I know if I'll be able to attend. But I know this. God granted me today and I'm going to use it to celebrate my son's engagement. Do you understand?"  Mama Jane looks at me with a fatigue expression.

I'm surprise,  but not shook. Jacob is Mama Jane's son and he doesn't visit often .... Thank god... and she wants this. "I understand." I reluctantly agreed.

Mama Jane smiles at me, " I know you do Rachel. You have a son too. Also, Zoe's going to help you decorate for the party."

I freeze looking a mama Jane with a fake smile. I love Zoe but right now with the tension between Jacob and I, I don't know if that's a good idea, "lovely." I manage to say.

"Well you may as well, get to know Matty's step-mama." Mama Jane says, as she continues to write.

I look at her with terror. Nothing against Zoe, but we are not the same. She's about fashion and meetings. They are busy with their careers and not planning to have children for a while. I don't even know if Zoe has siblings or if she's an auntie to anyone. I look at Mama Jane. She's busy writing. Without looking I'd say it's a organize pattern of grouping by categories. I've helped her with parties when I was younger. Katie would bring me over to be extra hands. She makes lists for food and drinks, tables and chairs, notes about music and games for the kids and colour of the decorations. Right now her facial expression shows pride. For her son I bet. Mama Jane always said Jacob would make it big. And she's right. Even if he only visits once in a while, he is her son.

"Okay. What do you want me to do." I say.

Mama Jane passes me a piece of paper, " you and Zoe can go into town and pick up some decorations. And get extra lanterns for the front porch. The old ones cracked." I look at the list. Basic small town Decor. Flowers, candles, fairy lights, ribbons and of course the lanterns, " Zoe should be outside with Jacob." Mama says without looking at me.

I sigh, and get up. I walk to the back door and down the porch. I look around to see if I can see where the love birds are. I walk towards the chicken coop. As I walk around the corner, I see Jacob and Zoe resting on the fence by the horses. I stop and look at them. Zoe's resting her head on Jacob's bicep. Jacob talking and leaning his head onto Zoe's head. They look perfect together. Two powerhouses I'm guessing. They have more in common then I and Jacob would ever have. They are business oriented in home construction and decor. City folks. Up to date in their fashion. It's too fast for me. I like the sweet small town lifestyle. Simple, personal, organic. Peaceful. I take a deep breath. Time to get Zoe and go shopping.

"Hey guys." I say as causal as I can be.

Zoe and Jacob turn and look at me. Jacob turns back the other way. Well he doesn't want anything to do with me. "Rachael, I was about to go look for you. Guess what. We get to decorate for our engagement party that Mama Jane is hosting for us. Isn't it grand!!"  Zoe's shouts with excitement.

"Yeah. Mama Jane just told me. I was coming to get you. Do you want to go out now. I know where to go and get these items." I say trying to ignore Jacob who's clearly ignoring me.

"YES!  I'll get my purse." Zoe must be so excited as she smacks a kiss on Jacob's cheek and runs to the house leaving me behind. I turn to make my way up to the house.

"How was fishing?" I finally hear Jacobs voice behind me.

"Pardon?" I turn around.

Jacob turns around and leans on the fence, "It won't work you know. Making me jealous."  He says.

I shake my head in confusion, " I'm sorry. Who's making you jealous?" 

"You hanging out with Hayes." Jacob cleaifies.
   
I'm done with this shit. "Jacob if your playing games you need to stop."

"I'm not playing games Ray" he says.

I step closer to Jacob, feeling a cocktail mix of anger and pain. Why is he doing this to me? " First of all. Fuck you. I'm doing nothing to make you jealous. In fact Hayes and I are getting quite close."

"Has he fucked you yet?" Jacob asks in a low cold voice.

I lock eyes with his. He's officially gone mad, "Even if we did make love, I wouldn't tell you or anyone. Jacob. What's wrong with you."

Jacob turns back the horses, " Zoe and I are leaving in the Sunday."

I'm fighting the tears popping in the corners of my eyes. "Good. I'm happy about that." I fight to see with anger more then hurt. I walk off and stop, "oh and Hayes will be my guest to your engagement party." 

I walk on. Stupid, idiot. Why do I let him get to me. I quickly fan my eyes as I make my way to the front of the house. I buy more time to cool down and let my eyes hid the fact that I got hurt.

"Ready?" I say to Zoe, as I open the front door.

Zoe jumps with excitement, "yes. Let's go!" 
   
Zoe follows me out to my car. We get in and leave.

***************

"What colour skim did Mama Jane want?" Zoe asks as we go down the party supply Elise.

I'm looking at the fairy lights. They would look good hanging the the lower tree branches, draping down and these twinkle, "whatever theme you'd like. Remember it will be outside."

Zoe thinks scanning the shelves of deflated colour balloons, table clothes and a variety of party pieces to play games.

"Howdy ladies." I smile hearing a comforting voice.

"Hi Hayes." I say smiling as Hayes greets me with a peck on my lips.

"Hi Rachel." Hayes says staring at me with his beautiful googley eyes, " Good day Zoe. It's nice to see you again."

Zoe grins wide, " Oh Hayes. It's so nice to meet you again."

"Do you ladies need help?" Hayes asks looking at the few items we had on our arms already.

"No. We're good. Just a colour theme and that's it." I say.

"Wait!" Zoe pipes up, " Hayes! pick a colour for me."

I look at Zoe. Men out here aren't interested in colour theme or any plans with parties."

" Green."  Hayes concludes.

Zoe looks at the green decorations, "You know, they say green is the new colour for this summer. Maybe more of an emerald green. Perfect!!!" Zoe jumps and hugs Hayes, " you're the best Hayes. Rachel's so lucky to have you." I look at Zoe slightly embracing.

"I think I'm the lucky one." Hayes gently says. Oh my he warms my heart.

"Awww!!!!" Zoe says. " Okay I'm leaving you guys alone and walk over to the platters ."

I look at Hayes as he smiles at me." Did you have fun fishing?"  Hayes asks with a devilish smile. We did fish out on Hayes boat, but soon that got boring. But when we kissed, I didn't mind being out there any longer.

I nod. Feeling my cheeks warming up, " Mama Jane's hosting an engagement party for Zoe and Jacob  and I was wondering if you wanted to go to the party with me?"

Hayes eyes lit up like fireworks at night, "Yes ma'am. It would be an honour to be your guest."

I smile, "perfect. I'll get the details and let you know." 

Hayes leans down and locks his lips on mine. I don't think I'll ever get use to the explosion inside me when Hayes kisses me. 

"I'll text you later." He says as he walks by me.

I make my way in a daze to Zoe. She trying to reach a few table clothes that are out of her reach.

"Hey Rachel. How am I suppose to get those?" 

I look around and found the pole with the hook at the end. I put the items I have in my arms on the floor and reach up to hook the table clothes.

"Yes that one." Rachel says pointing up, "and the other one beside it."

I bring the two table cloths down to our level. Holding them on the hook. "Nice colours Zoe." I said as I look at her face. She stares at me with an expression of confusion, "Zoe are you okay?" I ask concerned.

"What happen under your arm?" Zoe asks but still stun.

I lift my right arm to see if I could find a cut, a rash. I feel in the area that Zoe seems to be concern about. I feel a slight rise on my skin from a scar that was made a few years earlier. " oh it's a scar." I conclude and shrug off. It's the only scar that I don't feel comfortable talking about.

"Oh." Zoe was able to say, " How—how did you — get it?" She ask stuttering.

I pick up the rest of items, trying to find the right words. I haven't told anyone about this scar. I purposely asked for it to be placed under my arm so that no one would see it, especially my folks. The poor attempt of trying to make a half heart with the letter J in the center proved to be a painful reminder of how life isn't can change. "It was a pathetic idea for a boy I fell in love with years ago. " I said, balancing the items in my hands, " do we need anything else?" I say looking at Zoe who looks like she just saw a ghost.

" I don't feel so good. Can we go home." Zoe asks, with a stun expression.

I nod, following her request and walking to the cash. We put the bags in the car. Zoe hasn't talked much since getting the table cloths. I look at her, "Zoe. Are you feeling okay?" I ask becoming concern.

"Tell me something Rachel." Zoe looks at me with pain in her eyes, " Does Jacob love me?" 

I'm shock by Zoe's question. Since she's been here she's been nothing but confident. Why such a question now? And all of a sudden. I smile at Zoe trying to pretend I know that answer, " yes of course he does. He brought you to see his Mama. That's big out here."  I smile.

Zoe try's to smile but she looks anxious, " I guess. He doesn't talk much about his past and living out here. "

I smile, " that's because he never wanted to stay here. Jacob never committed to anything. He didn't join any groups, or clubs, not to be trapped here."

"Any girlfriends?" Zoe asks bluntly.

I close all my emotions inside not to let Zoe see any of them,  "Jacob didn't have any girlfriends. Again, he didn't want any commitments.

Zoe forces a smile and sighs, shaking off whatever seems to be bothering her, " I feel that I'm missing a part of him. A part that I've seen since I've been here."

I smile. I'm relive that Zoe feels better. I drive off.