Jacob

"Go wash up and say hi to Mama Jane." I hear Rachel's instruction over the chatter of the children. I smile. It's nice to hear her in control. I remember her as a shy and quiet girl. Sometimes it was too easy to rattle her up and get her upset. If she was boy crazy, you didn't know. Katie babysat Rachel, so she was here so often that Katie adopted her as our little sister and Rachel merged into my family seamlessly.  And Rachel loved it. She was an only child to two aging parents.

Rachel was a scrounged little girl. Tall for her age, skin and bones, weave messy light brown hair. She wore glasses and had braces. Katie fell in love with Rachel. Eventually, as Rachel got older, the braces came off and the glasses disappeared. Her hair became soft with waves and parts of her body became curvy, I started to fall for her too.

"Hey Rachel, mama Jane wants you." Katie bellowed from the kitchen.

"I'm going outside," I said standing up and walking to the back door.

Katie starts to set the table, "Don't go far, dinner will be ready in a half hour." 

I smile. I miss my sister's supervisor's tactics, "Yes mame."  I said militarily.

"Get out," Katie said, annoyed.

I step out onto the back porch. It has a canopy that Papa and I built. This was the first project that I did. I was grounded one weekend. I was about fifteen years old. My papa had this project to do and told me to help him. Put my hands into production instead of distraction, he would say. I smile at Papa's methods of keeping my ass at bay. searching the post of the porch to see if I could still see the etching. I rub my fingers up towards the roof. I feel the indentations. I smile. I found it. I carved 'J n J' to mark the completion of the first project of many I did with Papa and the birth of my passion for home renovation and flipping.

I look down at the floorboards, remembering another carving I did. A hidden one that I kept close to my heart back then. I step down to the ground, went down on my knees onto the grass and look under the floorboards. There it was. Carved letters,  R and J. I don't think Rachel even knows it's there. I don't etch anyone's initials with mine. I didn't have any serious girlfriend because I didn't care to stay, so why leave so many broken hearts? But I managed to leave one.

I smile with a heavy heart as I get up quickly and walk towards the barn. I take a smoke out of its pack from my back pocket. Making sure no one's in sight. I promised my mama and sister I would quit a few years ago, and I did, until yesterday when I bought this pack.

I light it up and walk behind the small barn. I lean against it as I blow smoke out. The sounds of the chickens inside the barn are calming, opposite of what was going on inside of my head. Seeing Rachel has brought back so many hidden memories. I can tell that she's feeling it too. I feel bad that being here is making her feel uncomfortable, but it's only for a few days. I look around. To the far right of me was a fenced area and a big barn that housed Katie and my horse, Dolly and Benny. Those horses could run. Papa adopted them about ten years ago. Mama Jane was pissed. She already agreed to rabbits and chickens but boy, were the walls of the house shaking that night when Papa brought the horses home.

"Hello." I hear a small voice greeting me.  Looking down, in shock, In front of me was a curly golden hair, big hazel eyes and a big smile belonging to a young boy, looking up at me.

"Hi?!?" I greet confused as to who this young boy is.

I hear the other kids yelling and laughing. The little boy scurries around me, "Excuse me but I'm playing hide and seek. Can I hide here?"

I smile, "Yeah sure." I quickly butt out my smoke knowing that the other kids are my sister's kids and I can't have them tell her I'm smoking.

"Found you, Matty!!!" Charlotte yells around the corner. She looks at me, "Who are you?"

I look at this little girl with long dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes. She's a splitting image of Katie when she was younger, "I'm your uncle Jacob." I announce.

Charlotte smiles and gives my legs a big hug. "Uncle Jacob's here!!" She screams.

Soon two boys, one bigger than Charlotte and the other smaller, come running around the corner and stare at me.

"How do we know you're really Uncle Jacob?" Declan said, crossing his arms looking for proof.

I smile at him, "Your mama caught you with the Papa Joe's shotgun. I was the driver of the truck your mama jumped out of."

Declan drops his arms in shock and embarrassment, "Yeah. It's Uncle Jacob." The smaller boy and the first boy hug my legs with Charlotte. I crack a smile. "Okay let me get this straight." I say looking at the kids as they line up in front of me." You're obviously Declan." I point at the oldest. He lifts his hand to greet me with a high five, "What's up Uncle J."

I laugh, "Okay my man D. Nice to meet you too." 

I look at Charlotte, "You're Mama's mini-me, Charlotte". Charlotte smiles shyly.

I look at the next boy, "Now you look familiar from photos that fill my storage in my phone so you must be Gavin."

The boy jumps up and down, "I'm four years old and I go to school."

I laugh, "Good for you! You're tall. You must be eating your veggies?"

Gavin made a disgusting face, "Ewe, no way!"

I laugh as I look at the first boy I met, "and you are...?"

"I'm Matty!" The boy says, extending his hand out.

I shake his hand, with an awe feeling.  "Nice to meet you. I'm Jacob, the uncle of these crazy kids." The kids giggle.

"His mom is Rachel. He lives here with Mama Jane." Declan shares. 

"Lucky ducky. He gets all the cool toys here." Gavin says

"And the pool," Charlotte says.

My eyes pop wide as I try to catch my breath. Rachel has a child? Of course. She was married to David. But where's David and why is Rachel living here with Mama with her child?

"Dinners ready!!" My sister calls out the back door.

The kids cheer and run to the door. I stand for a moment dumbfounded. Not sure how I'm processing the news of Rachel having a child with someone else.

"Wash your hands kid," Katie says as I walk in after them. I see Rachel spooning the meat into a big bowl. The kids ran to the washroom to wash their hands. I walk by Rachel to the kitchen sink to wash my hands.

"The kids have grown so much," I said to my sister wanting Rachel to hear.

Rachel pauses a moment then continues getting the food ready without a word.

"I met Matty." I continue as I glance at Rachel. No reaction. "Such a handsome little boy. He looks like you, Rachel." I glance at Rachel to see her reaction.

She smiles a little as she clears her throat, "Thank you." Is all she says as she takes the bowl of ground chicken to the table.

Dinner was quiet. Katie did most of the talking. Mainly about their flower shop. Gilbert filled in the blanks of whatever my sister missed or couldn't remember. I look around the table and see Gavin and Matty giggling among themselves. I smile. Matty has the same Dewey eyes as Rachel. They have the same smile too. I had heard that Rachel's parents both passed away since I was away, but I didn't know she moved back to Pinebrook, or worse, to my house.

"Mama, did Jacob tell you he's renovating a house for himself," Katie announces.

Thanks sis. I glared at Katie. I didn't want that news out, right now. 
   
Mama looks at me from one end of the table, "That's good. And is there a special someone to share that house with?" Mama Jane asks, eyeing me.

Rachel drops her glass and it breaks on her plate, startling everyone.

"Sorry." She utters. Looking embarrassed, Rachel quickly gets up and grabs the dish towel to soak up the water.

"Never mind Rachel," Mama says gentlely, " Spills happen."

Rachel smiles at Mama shyly, as she gathers her plate and the broken glass on it.

"The dinners lovely Rachel. My favourite." Mama Jane compliments.

"My favourite too!" Declan shouts and the other kids agree.

"You're the best cook in the world mama!" Matty adds at the end.

Rachel turns around and awkwardly leans on the counter.

"Rachel why don't you set up the bedrooms for the night."  Mama Jane suggests to Rachel.

I look at Rachel as she walks out of the kitchen.

"Kids you're cleaning with me." Katie announces as the kids moan.

"Jacob." I look at Mama Jane. She smiles at me, "Take me to my room."  I nod getting up behind the wheelchair and roll Mama to the guest room.

"How's that Mama? Comfortable?"  I ask as I fluff the pillows behind her.

"Yes. Thank you." She leans back on them as I sit on the side of her bed holding her hands.

"I'm sorry mama." That was all I could say at that moment.

"For what?"

" I didn't visit more often. To see you and... dad." I wiped my eyes. I clear my throat."l just wanted to leave and.... And."

"You know." Mama Jane says,  interrupting, "When you were born, I told your father, you were too big for this small town. You would burn these buildings down and build new ones."

I smile, looking down.

"And look at you now. You're taking buildings down and building new ones. You're good at this. Regardless of what your father and I had said. You found your own path."

That means a lot coming from my mama, "thank you Mama."  I said, giving her a hug and a kiss, "Mama Jane knows best." I whisper in her ear.

She laughs, "I do my best my son, but I don't always know what's best. You have to find that inside of you."

"I know. I love you." I said tucking my mama in bed.

"Good night Jackie." She teases.

I close the door behind me and went upstairs. I open the door to my old room, ready to end this crazy day. To my surprise, it was a kid's room again. Toys on shelves, cartoon characters on the bed sheet and blankets all messed in bed. Clothes are thrown on the bed and on the floor. Toy cars and Legos all pushed into a corner in the room.

"Excuse me." I hear a voice zoom by me at the doorway. It's Rachel carrying a few blankets and bedsheets, "sorry the room's a mess." She apologises as she pulls the blankets and sheets off the bed and rolls them nervously in her hands, "I wasn't expecting company."

I step in front of Rachel and stop her arms from rolling, "I'm not company Rachel. It's my Mama's house."

"It's my house too." She snaps. She quickly wipes her eyes and sniffs.

I let go of her arms and take a step away from her. This isn't working. I don't want to hurt her again. I walk over to the window and look outside, as the last of the daylight is slowly going down, " I think we need to start again."

"From today or 10 years ago?"  Rachel snaps.

I look at her. She was still making the bed but I could see by her actions she was going to lose her mind. "He's adorable." 

Rachel freezes.

I turn around to face her, "he has your smile -  and your eyes."

Rachel continues to fix the bed, "thank you." 

I cross my arms looking at her. She's about 4 years younger than me. So she's twenty-two years old now. Her hair is now up in a messy bun. I smile as I remember us sneaking into this room, and spending time together years ago. I remember teaching her how to kiss. I smirk at the memories. Honestly. I was trying to see how she would kiss. So we did that pillow practice thing. It was stupid and funny. I remember feeling like an idiot showing Rachel how to kiss. But I also remember watching her as she practiced on the pillow. It sent my heart thumping hard. That was when I realized I was starting to see Rachel differently.

"Sorry about the superhero night light but it works and gives off good light," Rachel said still not looking at me.
   
I took a deep breath, "I'm going to ask 'cause that's who I am. Where's David?"
   
Rachel shot her eyes at me like daggers. I'm regretting my question now.
   
"Do you think you're in any position to ask such a question?"  Rachel questions grinding her teeth.

"Well you're telling me that you and Matty are living here, so I think it's a valid question to ask."

"You don't live here so no you don't have a valid reason to ask anything about me since you didn't seem to give a fuck about me when you left.  Did you even look back at me? Did you even bother to look at me one last time?" Rachel weeps as quietly as she could, "you have no right to ask me about my life now. You came to visit your mama. That's it. Good night." And with that, Rachel left my room. I mean... Matty's room.