Jacob

I can't believe I have a son. I thought, standing at the guest room door in my big apartment, staring at Matty sleeping in the big queen size bed. It's past his bedtime and the trip tuckered the poor kid.

I slowly close the door, leaving it ajar. I walk to the kitchen, pick up my coffee and walk out to the balcony.
The sounds of car horns honking outside have replace the peaceful crickets sounds from Mama's house.

I light my cigarette and rest my arm on the concrete railing. The cold feeling of the material racing back to my mind replacing the warmth of the wooden porch and fence at my Mama's home. I look at the stars. They're not as bright as they are at Mama's house. I wonder if Rachel's looking at them tonight. I hope she's okay. It was a short conversation when we got home. Rachel assured me that she was okay, but. Something in her voice convinced me she wasn't.

"Hey honey," I hear Zoe as her hands rub around my waist and meet at my chest, "you were saying something about going hard tonight." Zoe whispers as I feel her press her body up against mine.

I let out a sigh, "Zoe. I have... some paperwork to finish. I have to give Paul tomorrow l. Plus we're beat from traveling. Let's rest tonight and start fresh in the morning."I cringe, hoping not to fight with Zoe tonight.

She let go of me, " good night." She walks out. I become breathless. This might be harder than I thought. I look at the stars again. They faintly shine. Hidden in the city lights. I squint trying to see them. I butt my cigarette out and went inside ready for bed.

***************

"Hey. Good morning little man." I smile as Matty runs into the kitchen. He's eyes scanning around the kitchen. "It's okay Matty. You're at my home." Matty's shoulders relaxes as he comes to sit beside me at the table. I mess his hair and embrace him with a hug and a kiss. God this feels so good.

"Uncl— daddy, I'm hungry." Matty says.

I get up, "what would you like, waffles, bacon and eggs,"

"Do you have cream cheese and jam?"

I stop and smile at Matty, " yes sir I do!" I turn and collect.

"With a bagel." Matty popes up.

"You got it!" I grab the bagels and pop it into the toaster.

"Okay hon, I'm going to go to the Meeting." Zoe comes into the kitchen fixing her earrings dressed in her black shirt and blazer with a light pink silk button top, "Good morning Matthew." Zoe greets Matty.

"Matty." I say

Zoe looks at me and smiles, " Yes but in the city you know full names get you places."

I whisper to Zoe, "he's a kid and he just got here. Give him time."

Zoe continues to smile at me, "I told my parents Matthew. It's his name, did I do something wrong?." Zoe said, grabbing her coffee, "Oh! Jacob, don't forget the dinner party tonight. You must wear black."

"Dammit, Zoe can we pass? We have Matty here." I give Matty his bagel.

Zoe stops and looks at me with an annoying expression. "This is a very important dinner. It's for our benefit to meet sponsors for our tv show. We must be there."

I look at Matty disappointed.

"I can ask Sandy down the hall and see if her daughter can watch Matty tonight?"

I look at Zoe, still not feeling assured but it's better than anything else. I turn to Matty, " Hey Matty, today you come with me to work. What do you think?"

Matty smiles at me with cream cheese smeared on his upper lips, "yes!"

"Perfect." I smile remembering the days I went with my dad to his jobs....

"You see Jacob. Working with wood is a craft." I remembered what my dad would say to me. I would study him. The way he moved material around. The way he used his tools and cared for them. The way he organized them in the shed was sheer art and the love he had for his work was a feeling I wanted to feel everyday.

"I'll call Sandy on my way to work." Zoe's voice snaps back to the kitchen. She give me a quick peck on the lip and walks to Matty, "have a fun day Matthew." And walks off.

"Matty's good Hon." I announce. The door shuts. I look at Matty eating his bagel. " When you're done eating, we'll get going.

Matty licks his fingers clean and washes his hands and face. We get our shoes on and out the door to the elevator. Suddenly I feel a pull on my hand.

"Daddy?" I hear Matty panic.

"What's wrong?" I bend down to his level scanning his over

"How do we get outside?" Matty asks, looking around the hallway.

I chuckle realizing Matty hasn't been exposed to much outside the small town comforts. " well. We're going to take an elevator which will take us underground to the garage where my truck is. And we drive off into the city.

Matty grips my arm tighter. I have to admit, I'm living this hold he has on me. It warms my heart and makes me want to play hooky for the day.

"Hey Matty, I want to take you to the zoo after my stop. It's a place where they have tigers, lions and elephants."

"TIGERS!!!" Matty shouts in a roaring sound.

I laugh so hard, tears squeezes out of my eyes, " yes sir. Tigers". I mimic Matty's roar, "Would you like that?"

Matty nods his head. I smile. "Let's go." I say as the elevator doors open. I hold Matty's hand. He squeezes mine, sending the new feeling I'm becoming addicted to, to my heart.

"Wow, this truck is bigger than the other truck." Matty says as I buckle him in the seat.

"It carries all my supplies I need to go to work." I explain.

"Grandpa's necklace!!" Matty pipes up pulling my grandfather's necklace. I look down, surprised Matty knew what it was, " yeah Grammy Jane gave it. How do you know about it."

"Mama told me. Mama says grandpa was strong and liked to work with his hands and make stuff with wood."

I look at Matty holding back my tears. It's not that Matty knows about my dad but that Rachel's the one who told him.

"Mama also said that you got in trouble a lot and had to help grandpa fix the porch."

Choking on my breath I try to focus, "yeah that's how I learned about working with my hands." I said and close the passages door. Walking around my truck I took a deep breath. Mixed with emotions and feeling blessed that Rachel did keep Matty connected to me and my family. His family.

"Okay little man." I said turning the car on, "let's work!"

Driving out of the garage and making my way to the street I'm already laying it hard on my horn, "come in!!!get out of there!!" I shout at the car stopping in front of me letting a person out.

"Daddy, why are you mad?" Matty asks.

I look at Matty forgetting that this kind of chaos isn't seen back home. Actually I feel embarrassed acting like this in front of my son, " sorry Matty. Sometimes in the city, you need to be... vocal. Using our loud voice to get .. people... to listen" I explain feeling stupid.

"Oh." Matty reacts looking out at the city going by."

Soon I pull into the driveway of a heavily constructed detached home. I take Matty into my arms and we walk over some of the material into the house.

"Knock, knock!" I shout, knocking on the open front door and putting Matty down

"Hey boss, you made it!" Paul comes over to greet me at the door with a handshake, " welcome back!"

"Thank you. How's it going here?" I ask holding Matty's hands as the other is feeling the walls and frame work.

"It's going super. We are 8 days ahead of schedule."

I smile. Paul's my right hand man and takes each job as his own. If I had to leave my company trusted to anyone m, this man is the one.

"And who's this young man?" Paul asks, looking at Matty.

" This... is my son Matty!" I introduce Matty slightly winging him as he laughs in response.

Paul looks at me surprised, " I didn't know you had a kid, Jacob."

I smile at Matty, " Hey little man, can you go over there and get me the blue book on the kitchen counter?" Matty smiles at me. His eyes gleam at me as he runs through to the kitchen.

"I didn't know I had a son either." I shared with Paul, " his mama was a... special girl in my life then."

"And she didn't tell you about him all these years?!?" Paul question.

" To her defense I didn't make it easy for her either. I left her regardless of her feelings and she knew I didn't want to come home so she made the choice to keep quiet." I defended myself.

"And raise a child whose father didn't want to be there. I don't know Jacob, seems like there's more to the story than that." Paul said, picking up the saw.
"Well it doesn't matter to me. I have a son." I snip.

"And Zoe is okay with this?" Paul asks again.

I look at him annoyed with all these questions, " we're working things out." I said looking around, " I've got somewhere to go, call me with updates." I say making my way to the kitchen.

"We'll do boss." Paul shouts and turns on the saw.

" Let's go to the zoo, Matty." I shouted over the noise of the saw scoping my son up into the air.

"DADDY!! THE LIONS!! THE LIONS!!" Matty shouts, pulling my hand through the crowd to get to the lions."roooooaaaarrrrr!!!!" Matty shouts.

I laugh watching him growling, communicating with the wild animals. I look at Matty. His eyes are so bright and his laugh is bigger than I had ever seen.

"Daddy roar too. RRRROOAAARRR!!!" Matty jumps.

I look at the lions and from inside my chest, "RRRRRRRROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!"

"Good job Daddy!!!" Matty screams jumping.

I laugh so hard I have tears down my cheeks.

"Excuse me sir, but please don't scream at the lions!!" An employee wearing a 'Hi!my name is...tag'

"Sorry. I was just showing my son how a real lion roars." I said paying Matty's back.

The employee sarcastically smiles at me, " well maybe you can do that on your way home. Have a good day sir." He says as he walks off.

"Daddy did we get in trouble?" Matty asks.

"No son. We're having fun. Come let's see other animals."