Rachel

I'm on a roll getting my assignments done. I'm so happy that at least Jacob is willing to help out. I quickly kick out the thoughts of admiration for Jacob. This will lead to nothing good. I'm appreciative of his help but this pretending house will only hurt more. But I can't help but let in little snippets of memories of us together and remembering how it felt to be touched by him.

"Hey, Ray? Do you want lunch?" I hear Jacob ask.

I am hungry and a break would be nice, "Sure. Thanks." I respond.

"Okay. Give me 10 mins." He says

"Okay," I answer as I continue to type my report.

"Rachel. Can I talk to you?" My eyes widen, reacting to Jacob seeing my room. He looks around the room. I forgot that this was Katie's room and he hasn't seen it since.

I turn on my chair from in front of the computer uneasy looking at him.
He hesitates, About mama. I can't shake the feeling that things don't add up. I think the doctor isn't looking in the right direction. I want to take Mama to the city and have her checked." He takes a deep breath.

I stand up, " I know how you feel. But convincing your Mama to leave is nearly impossible, and you know it." Jacob's eyes react letting me know he knows his Mama will resist, "I heard you talking to the doctor and I think you have every reason to be worried," I said as I involuntary reach for Jacob's hand. The feeling of energy burst inside my soul and my head becomes dizzy. I see Jacob glancing at our held hands. I know it's too late to retreat so I'll keep confident, "but in the end if mama wants to give doctor Thomas the benefit of the doubt then we have to wait."

Jacob nods his head. He seems to be taking in what I said, which gives me a moment to take a deep breath. The vibration I'm feeling from our hands touching sent tingles through my body screaming at me to kiss him right here. Right now. I want to lay him on my bed and let him do whatever he wants to me again and again. Then I remember Matty. I'm not 17 years old. I'm a single mama, I'm a student and a caregiver. I don't have time to fall in love and will most likely get hurt again. Then I remember, speaking of being a caregiver, "I did some exploring and searching for exercises that can help with your mama's legs," Letting go of his hand I turn around and position my laptop to face me. I tap my chair looking at Jacob with a smile on my face, signalling for him to sit down.

He walks over and sits still looking at me confused. "Here," I said typing on the keyboard. "I can help Mama with some exercises in the pool. The buoyancy should help ease any discomfort that she might feel and maybe help her mobility to be better."

Jacob sat back on the chair quickly, "aquatic therapy?"

"Yes!!" I cheer, "I need your help though." I say as I change the screen on her laptop, "Can you help me assemble this?"

I turn the screen back to Jacob. His eyes are glue to the screen while his mouth is wide open. I crack a smile. I know Jacob's expression. He's surprised by my ideas. I know Jacob doesn't want to hurt me and I hope he sees and has gratitude for all I give to his Mama. I'm not here for him but for her and Katie. They called me to stay with Mama Jane. And I would do it all again.

"Rachel this is fantastic. I love it! Let's do it!"
Jacob promptly said with euthanization.
 
A feeling of joy explodes inside me. "Yeah. Do you think so? Perfect. Because the lift comes today."  I look away from Jacob as he looks at me with admiring eyes. " and I'll print out some exercises right now. We can start tomorrow." I say as my fingers glide over the keys of the keyboard.

"You still want lunch?" Jacob asks again.

I smile at the comfort of Jacob's voice, "Yes please!"  I cheers. Jacob walks out of my room closing the door again. I sat on my chair rubbing my back on my seat, trying to feel Jacobs's essence. I smile as thoughts of Jacob go through my head. What if we were to go further? What if I can convince him to stay and together we take care of Mama Jane?  What if I and Matty move to the city with him now? I take a deep breath and blow out air, what if Jacob isn't in love with me anymore? 

I shake these silly thoughts out of my head and close my laptop. I straighten my papers and make my way downstairs for lunch.

"Hey, little man, lunch is ready." I hear Jacob call out to Matty as I listen from the stairs. I smile hearing Jacob calling Matty, but at the same time, it pierces my heart that Matty doesn't have this male bonding with his father. Mama Jane comes rolling out with Doctor Thomas.

"Hello, Rachel." Doctor Thomas greets.

"Hello, Doctor. How's our patient today?" I ask cheerily.

Doctor Thomas smiles at Mama Jane, "She be fine as long as everything goes as planned."

Mama Jane smiles at Doctor Thomas. "It will take time but I'm sure I'll be happy in the end." 

I smile at the two of them not truly understanding the meaning of their words.

"As long as Mama Jane's best interest is met," I said not sure what plans their talking about.

Both Doctor Thomas and Mama Jane laugh, "Ms. Jane you are a very lucky woman to have such love around you."

"Mama Jane reaches for my hand. I smile and come closer to her so she can grab my hand, "I am a very lucky old woman." We laugh.

" I must go Ms. Jane. Rachel keep doing what you're doing for Mama."

"I will. Oh. Doctor. Will aquatic therapy help Mama Jane's condition?"

Doctor Thomas stops moving as he opens the door knob. Mama Jane looks at me then at him. Doctor Thomas turns to face me with an exaggerated smile, "Yes. Yes, Rachel. That's a wonderful idea! And Mama can rest her muscles too." Doctor Thomas nodes at Mama Jane, whose expression shows concern. Mama Jane loves swimming. That's why I built a pool for her. "It will make things better for you Ms. Jane. I promise."  He tips his head and walks out the door.

"Such a lovely man isn't he." Mama Jane says.

"I think he likes you." I tease as I grab the wheelchair handles and roll Mama Jane to the kitchen.

"Who likes who?" Jacob asks as he puts the platter with a variety of sandwiches on the center of the table.

"No one." Mama Jane jumps in.

I smile, teasing, " I think Doctor Thomas likes your Mama."

"Oh hush. Stop such nonsense." Mama Jane protests.

"He can take you on a date if he can help you get back on your feet."  Jacob declares.

Mama Jane and I laugh as I sit beside Mama. I look around the table and see Matty jump into the seat — next to Jacob. My heart warms at the thought of how quickly Matty connected with Jacob. But at the same time, it scares me to death. I thought about dating when Matty becomes older. Right now it would be he and I time. My fear is also when Jacob leaves and I wonder if Matty will miss the male bonding he has with him.

"Sandwich?" Jacob said lifting the platter to me. I could get used to this attention. The way Jacob is kind and considerate. I smile a take a couple of pieces. He then offers to his mama and then helps Jacob beside him. I watch him. Jacob. My heart fills with warmth. Let him back in Rachel, my mind says to me. He's older now. Established. He might stay this time.  I smile as Jacob and Mama talk about something. I can't hear it. I'm too busy letting my mind wander into the possibilities of ifs. What if we were married? What if he did stay in town and reopen his papa's business? He can expand it to what he's doing now. Maybe I would have studied interior decorating and we could have been partners in business and in life. We would have two or three kids. I smiled a little thinking how Jacob wanted 3-4 kiddies and a big property. He secretly told me once he wanted at least one daughter to be his little girl.

"Right, Rachel?" Jacob's voice halts my pretend play in my head.

"Sorry?" I answer.

"The lift that you bought. We can put it on today?"  Jacob says as he and Mama both look at me.

"Yes. Yes, we can."

"Goodness Rachel why did you have to go buy such a thing." Mama Jane says.

I smile at her as I reach to hold her hand, "Because we love you and want the best for you."

Mama Jane's eyes fill with tears, "Oh my. I must be the luckiest person alive and I don't deserve any of this." 

"Mama don't cry. This is good." Jacobs says grabbing napkins from the table and giving them to mama.

"I don't deserve all this goodness," Mama claims as she wipes her tears.

"Nonsense mana Jane. You deserve more. You always knew how to take care of your kids." I said trying to hold back my tears.

"And you took Rachel as your third child. So I think this is one of the best gifts anyone can give." Jacob said looking at me. I smile.

Okay. We can forgive him. It was five years ago. He's grown up. I said to myself, finalizing my heart's request to put my guard down and embrace this man back into our lives.

"Great. Let's do this!" Jacob claps his hands together, "After lunch, Rachel and I will set up the lift and tomorrow when Katie and her crew come over, we'll all be in the pool." Jacob announces.

"I'll show you the exercises I found and we can pick a few easy ones," I said to Mama, who was still wiping her tears.

"I feel so guilty now," Mama says.
   
Jacob gets up and hugs his Mama, "Don't feel guilty mama. You deserve the best." He says and kisses her on her head.

We cleaned up the kitchen and set off to the pool edge. Mama Jane rolls to the shade of the large umbrella and Matty gets his arms floaties ready and Jacob puts them on. I open the box and pull out the pieces of the lift on the edge of the pool.

I look up hearing a car coming in the driveway. I stand up to walk towards the car, " Just in time!" I said feeling optimistic about how things are moving along.

"Who's that?" Jacob calls out.

"Extra tools," I shout. "I called Mr Gordon and asked if we can use his heavy-duty tools for the lift." Mr. Girdon owns the local mechanic shop. To my surprise, it's Hayes who steps out of the car.

"Hey. Hi." I say, surprised to see him.

Hayes flashes his smile and his eyes brighten up, "Hi Rachel. Dad said you needed some tools." He walks to the back of his car as I make my way to him, "these are big tools. I can stay and help." Hayes offers holding the trunk open as he faces me smiling, studying my eyes.

I shyly smile, "ahh—,"

"Hey, Hayes, right? Billy's kid brother. The shit disturber." I hear Jacobs' voice from behind us barreling in. Jacob stops beside me smiling.

Hayes chuckles looking down, "Yeah. And the notorious Jacob Bridgestone graces PinBrook with his presence." Hayes looks Jacob up and down, "Billy told me you were back. just passing through town, I'm guessing."

Jacob stares Hayes down. Hayes is two years younger than Jacob and Billy. Hayes is the same height as Jacob with dark brown hair, light eyes and a manicured goatee. His body is lean and tall. He's in University and is a mechanic and works in town with his dad. I look at both men staring at each other. I guess they're waiting for one of them to crack under the dominance of the other, but I have no time for a roster fight between these two.

"Okay. Thanks, Hayes. Let your dad know I'll bring them—,"

"We." Jacob pipes up.

I regroup my thoughts, "Jacob and I got it from here." I said breaking this ridiculous behavior between these two man-boys."

Hayes smiles, "No problem." Hayes passes the bag with tools to Jacob, "I hope to see you again. Maybe over drinks." Hayes says with a smile.

"Yeah, maybe." Jacob coldly responds. I look at Jacob with angre.

Hayes gets back in his car and drives off.

I look at Jacob, "What the hell was that?"

"What?"

"You nearly punched him out with your words," I yell upset at Jacobs's rudeness towards Hayes.

"Rude!!" Jacob repeats, " He was being rude to you!"

I shake my head, "How?" 

" Well... he smiled at you,"

"Seriously Jacob. People smile. At least in this town, they do. I don't know if they do in the city." I said getting upset with Jacob's ignorance.

"I didn't like how he looked at you. All giggly eyes at you "

" Are you jealous that someone could be interested in me?" I challenge him, staring into his eyes.

"NO!! You can date anyone you want. I'm just saying... I knew the guy as a kid and he got into shit."

"Hum. I knew a kid who sounded just like that,  and I..." I stop mid-sentence. I don't want to say the next part, "Jacob, you're not my father," I yell at him.

He looks at me and a surrendering look goes across his face. He throws his hands in the air. " fine. I'm sorry. I guess I'm still jumpy from the doctor." Jacob says avoiding looking at my disgusted expression as he walks back to the pool with the bag of tools.

We put the lift together and had an early dinner. Jacob and I talked very little. I had nothing more to say to him. I didn't know how to talk to him after treating his best friend's little brother rudely.

Matty and I watch a movie on the couch in the sunroom.

"Mama I'm going out with Billy. I might be home late."

"Okay, son. Be good."  Mama Jane says.

"I will. Love you, Mama. I'll see you tomorrow "

"Bye Jacob," Matty yells from beside me. I look at him rubbing his hair. He looks at me with a big smile. I smile back.

"Bye, little man. Have a good night. Don't let the bedbugs bite."  Jacob yells back. Matty smiles from ear to ear, at me and looks at the TV again. I kiss his head. "Good night Rachel." I heard Jacob call out.

I close my eyes. The hate and love i have for this man kills me. I hold my breath and I fight the tears from escaping. I composed myself  " Good night Jacob." I say before he closes the front door.