Chapter 33 - Expiration Date

I dreamt of this day for so long and I thought that I was going to be so happy when it finally came. I thought I would wake up and I would sing and the birds would come to help me get dressed. I thought I would sing a song and dance my way downstairs to Rhonda’s office just to flip her off and dance my way out of this place. Forever.

But no, I don’t wake up like singing, I don’t wake up like dancing. I just want to disappear. I just want to be over with this. I want my classes to start so I can focus on the important things and forget about everything else.

I’m so angry I’m here, I’m so furious that I had to spend so many years here, putting up with Rhonda and her two daughters. Putting up with snobby guests. Putting up with all this shit when I didn’t want to do this, when I missed my parents and where I couldn’t see what my dad began.

It’s over, today is the day, but I’m not happy, I’m not relieved, I’m not excited as I should be. I’m just tired and broken, I guess, because I gave up too many things just because of this. Because I wanted to win and I won… the expiration date of my contract is today, I won this battle, I didn’t let Rhonda make me quit, but I don’t feel satisfied. I feel as empty as usual.

I try to refuse to be part of the world and I hide myself under the sheets, closing my eyes tightly, hoping that by when I open them I’ll wake up and nothing of this would’ve ever happened. But of course I can’t have that. My mum died, my dad married an awful woman, my dad died then and I was left under that awful woman’s custody. Since then, my life has been a living hell.

I know, I know I always try to focus on the bright side of my life because not everything is bad, but today I’m too tired to do this. For six years I’ve been doing it, but I can’t anymore. I know it’s the last day but I’ve been strong for so long… Can’t I allow myself one day of weakness? Can’t I have my pity party now?

And no, this is not about Niall. He’s part of why I’m so tired, another way in which Rhonda ruined my life. I’m like this because of everything, because six years have been too long.

Maybe I should’ve quitted long ago. Maybe I should’ve run away. Maybe I should’ve given up six years ago.

But it’s too late to think about that. I didn’t give up, I won, but the price was really high and today… today that price weighs more than ever.

“Knock, knock,” someone says and I frown as I pull my head from under the sheets and look at the door. “Is Ella there?” The voice asks and I recognise it immediately.

“We bring goods,” another voice joins and I smile faintly.

“Come in,” I say out loud and three seconds later Olivia and Charlie walk in. She is carrying a tumbler that I hope brings coffee, and Charlie brings a paper bag. “Hi there,” I greet them sitting straight on my bed and waiting for them to join me.

“How are you, dear?” Liv asks. “We came to congratulate you. You made it, Ella. It’s your last day.”

I smile but I don’t feel victorious and I hate Rhonda, because she doesn’t even allow me that. Somehow, she ruins even the day I looked forward to the most. I don’t even know how she does that.

“I did it,” I agree but my voice sounds tired and I see the worry in their faces.

“We’ll be out of here in a couple of hours. It’s gonna be fine, Ella. We’ll be fine,” Charlie reminds me and I smile because I know it’s true. I know we’ll be better than ever, but that doesn’t mean I’m not tired.

I guess it’s like when you wake up the day after you ran a marathon. You’re the most exhausted even when you are already done. You just want to sleep forever, staying still until you die. You ran already, you won, but every muscle burns because it took you so much to get to the goal, but you did it. Yet you can’t fully savour it yet because you’re dying, because everything inside you screams with pain.

Yes, that’s how I feel right now.

“Here, have some coffee and a muffin. Then we’ll be out, so we’ll pack with Liv while you eat. We’ll have all our things ready,” Charlie carries on and I smile at them. I was so busy and, well, missing Niall that I forgot to pack my things.

So they help me to get ready to leave and they even take my luggage to Charlie’s truck. I don’t have many things, but I take everything that belongs to me with me and as I make my way, I take a last look at this place. The place that once meant so much to my father. The place that was hope for so many people. A place that is nothing like it used to be, yet it’s still important and necessary for others.

Celebrities like Niall need this place and it's for him that I’ll let Rhonda keep this instead of fighting. For him so he has a place where he can escape from the world when everything becomes too much.

I run into some colleagues and we say goodbye. They wish me good luck and they are happy for me. Cami even sheds some tears as she hugs me, saying it won’t be the same. I don’t go to the stables because I said goodbye to all the horses already and I cried too much last night. I can’t do that again. I’ll miss them so much.

I’m finally in front of Rhonda’s studio and I take a deep breath as I hold the wooden box tightlyin my hands. It’s just a goodbye, a final ‘I won and I won’t see you again’ thing. I’ll be done with this in five minutes. So I close my eyes and I don’t knock, I just push the doors open.

I hear her gasp surprised when I walk in, but I don’t stop. She’s with Jenny and Kimmy and I’m glad they are here. I want to say a few things to them, too.

“Arabella! You need to knock before you walk in. Don’t forget your manners,” Rhonda reprimands me and I roll my eyes.

“I’m not your employee anymore. I’m not your burden. I’m nothing to you now. The contract is over. I’m free and I’m leaving,” I say and her eyes widen, apparently she forgot today was the day. “You changed this place, you created a different thing that is not bad, but it’s not what it was. You made my life miserable and you tried to make me something I’m not. But you didn’t succeed, Rhonda. You made me your slave, but I’m free now. You have no control whatsoever on me anymore. And I’m leaving.”

“You’re still part of this family,” she reminds me and I shake my head.

“No. I’m my own family and you were never part of it. You may have the surname, but you’re not a Drennan. And I’m not your daughter. I’m not your sister,” I tell Jenny and Kimmy. “I’m not your maid, I’m not anything to you.”

“You never were anything to us but a bother,” Kimmy says poisonously.

“You were a pain in my arse. You clueless idiots who let Rhonda manipulate and control your life. I feel sorry for you two.” I look at Rhonda. She keeps the façade. She doesn’t show any emotion. “You won’t ruin my life anymore. I’m free and I’m out.”

“Goodbye, Ella. You could’ve done brilliantly. You chose the wrong path.”

“No,” I refute. “I chose my path.”

And with that, I leave. I leave forever because I’m never coming back. Because I’m done with her and her crap. Because I’m free and as I walk away from her and closer to where my friends are waiting for me, a real smile starts to play on my lips because now it’s real. I’m finally walking away and I feel better. I’m still tired, but I know better things are coming.

In Charlie’s truck I find Liv and my best friend, both waiting.

“Liv, you’re coming, too?” I ask and she smiles brightly.

“The only reason why I coped with that witch all this time was because of you. You’re leaving, so am I,” she answers and my smile widens. “There’s no way in hell I’m staying if none of you is around. No way.”

“You’ll find a better job,” Charlie promises her and I nod.

“In fact I have a few offers. I won’t give massages to hot movie stars, but I’ll have enough to make ends meet. So we're good.”

I laugh as Charlie starts the ignition and the beast of his truck roars to life. “Ready to go, ladies?” He asks and I nod enthusiastically.

“I’ve been ready for so long,” is my answer and his smile is a knowing one. He understands all what I’ve been through, he’s been with me all this time. He knows better than anyone else.

So Charlie drives away from the retreat centre, away from that place that once was my kingdom. A place that later became my prison. A place that also gave me many of my sweetest memories.

I focus on the wooden box now resting on my lap and my smile turns sad because I know exactly what’s inside: a collection of tokens. From the mask I used for my birthday to the notes, flowers and doodles Niall left for me every day in his room, including the last one, the most precious of them all.

I can’t open the box because it still hurts, but I have it. Maybe one day I’ll open it and see through all the things I’ve kept and I’ll only smile. Maybe one day it’ll stop hurting that I had to give up on him to have this freedom I always wanted.

And it’s that box the first thing I place in my new room in Charlie’s flat. That’s the first thing in its place as I start my new life, that one I looked forward to for so long. Here I am, at the door of living my dreams. I’m finally out of my prison, spreading my wings and ready to fly as high as I can. And as I tidy everything up in my new room and home, my smile widens because I’m finally here.

I’m getting ready for a new and different marathon and for this one, the important thing is not winning, but just running. Starting this marathon is the most important part because every step I take is part of the dream. And I’m so ready to begin with this.

“I want you to know,” Charlie says at some point later that day. “That you, as you are the queen of toilets, will have to teach me your ways. No one is gonna clean this place but us and all I learnt during this summer was how to look hot by the pool.”

“But you failed at that,” I say faking concern and Charlie looks shocked. “But don’t worry, I’ll teach you how to clean toilets. I didn’t leave that skill at the retreat centre.”

We are still laughing when Liv makes her way inside the kitchen where we are and she’s holding a doll, a blond doll dressed in red.

“What do you bring there?” I ask, confused.

“Oh this… this is Rhonda. My voodoo doll of her,” Liv replies grinning evilly. “And it’s my present for us all. We can channel our frustration with this doll and blame it for everything that goes wrong. And we’ll hope it works,” she adds with a wink, making me laugh. “You stepped on shit on your way to Uni, blame the doll! You spilt coffee on your new dress, blame the doll. Everything bad that happens is the doll’s fault!”

“Well, I know what I’m gonna do when I get my first bad grade,” I joke walking up to Liv. The doll does kind of resemble Rhonda and I think I like the idea of having her. As a reminder that I won, that she didn’t defeat me and now my life is my own.

I’m okay now, and although I’m tired I’m also more excited for my new life. For all the things that are coming. And I have everything sorted out… or so I thought.

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Dedication to @KateWells7 for always being an amazing reader.

Bel, xx