Chapter 17 - Riding

I’m stroking Ares’ hair when I hear him approaching. He doesn’t catch me off guard this time, so when I turn around, I know I’m going to meet his blue eyes. I can’t help the smile from coming to my lips and although I knew he asked me to meet him here, a part of me still thought he wouldn’t come and instead he’d stay with his girlfriend.

Oh right, he has a girlfriend.

“Hi,” he says, walking towards where Ares and I are standing. The horse snorts greeting him and Niall’s smile grows wider. “Hey boy, how are you today?” Niall asks once he stops next to Ares, petting the horse that couldn’t be more delighted. “How was your day?” He asks me with a warm smile.

“Tiresome,” I reply. “Loads of work.”

“I saw you at the pool,” he adds next and he doesn’t meet my eyes, he focuses on Ares.

“Yeah, saw you, too. Zoe looked happy,” I smile but he’s not looking at me, so he can’t see it.

“She’s really trying,” he comments but he doesn’t sound excited, if so he sounds guilty. “You were talking to Harry, my band mate. So… are you two friends or something?” There’s a weird note at the end of his question and I can’t quite put my finger on it.

“He wishes,” I say ignoring that weird note and just smiling at the memory of the curly-haired boy. That annoying boy. “He’s very annoying. How do you cope with him?” I ask and I hear him chuckle.

“He’s very special and he enjoys being goofy, but he’s an amazing lad,” Niall replies and I smile because I can feel how much he appreciates Harry. “So you and him are not… um… I mean… uh…”

“We’re not even friends,” I say cocking my head to the right, trying to guess what he wanted to ask. He is still with his eyes focused on Ares, playing with his mane and avoiding my gaze. “Plus he thinks his house is gonna win this year. So naïve.”

Only then he looks at me, confusion in his eyes and I chuckle. “It’s a Harry Potter thing,” I reply and he nods, his lips forming a perfect O. “So tell me, how are things going on with Zoe?” I ask to change topics and he loses his smile immediately.

“I dunno.” He sighs deeply and I see how his shoulders stumble down a bit. I get this is hard for him. “I know she’s really trying and I feel terrible because I’m not. It’s like I don’t want it to work and when I’m with her I keep thinking of this mystery girl I met at the ball.” I feel my guts twisting. “I know it’s cheesy and don’t tell the guys I said this, but I-I felt a connection with her, something that I don’t have with Zoe and that I never had. It’s weird and different.” I nod because I know exactly what he’s talking about, I felt the same thing, but I can’t tell him that. “I feel like I should be honest with Zoe and tell her it’s not the same, but I don’t wanna hurt her, you know? But I want to find my mystery girl.”

I have this sick feeling in the pit of my guts again and a lump in my throat. I know I have to stop him from this, tell him to focus on Zoe and fix his relationship with her, but I can’t speak up. But then I see him sigh deeply, tired and confused and I immediately remember my dad, when he used to be so exhausted as he tried to make the business work. And again I feel this pull to help Niall, to release some of that burden he’s carrying, but how? Telling him that I’m his mystery girl? Or by keep encouraging him to fix things with Zoe?

“What can I do?” He asks me and when his eyes meet mine I see that he is really trying to find the right thing to do. “I know I—” he sighs again, as if the words he’s about to say hurt him. “I know I don’t love Zoe anymore. We came here thinking this would help us, but it has only made me more certain than I don’t feel that way anymore. I thought I could, I dunno, fall in love all over again here, but it’s not happening. I only fall more out of love.”

I really feel like choking and I don’t know what to tell him. I’m not an impartial third part in this story and I’m afraid my own desires can get in between. I try to remind myself he’s a celebrity and therefore I shouldn’t even be talking to him, but it’s so easy to forget that he is one. Once he starts talking, telling me about his problems, I just see him like any other guy. Like the guy with the black mask asking me to dance with him, saying thanks for helping him.

“I told you—” I start, my voice a bit strangled. “I told you that your mystery girl doesn’t want to be found. She ran away, she doesn’t care. She’s not here,” I tell him and he really looks hurt with my words, and I feel immediately bad.

“But she ran because she felt bad because I had just broken up with Zoe. I couldn’t explain to her how things really are… maybe if she knew she would’ve stayed,” he says, hopeful but defeated.

I… I would’ve ran because he’s a celebrity only, but considering how easy it is to forget he is one, if I had known that his relationship was so broken already, I may… I may have stayed with him. Until I had to run because of Rhonda.

“If I could find her and explain all this to her maybe… maybe—”

“Maybe what?” I ask because he starts to ramble.

“I dunno.” He accepts resigned and turns to bury his face on Ares’ hair. “I just know I want to find her.” He turns to look at me, the side of his head still resting on Ares and under his scrutiny I feel like he can see through my façade, that he sees the same girl that danced with him. I’m scared he may recognise my eyes or even feel the same connection we felt during the dance… the same connection I feel right now.

I look away, my heart racing in my chest and my hands trembling a bit. I don’t know exactly what would happen if he finds out that I’m the same girl who cheered him up during the dance, the same girl he kissed. I shiver, lamely, when I remember the kiss, when the memory of that moment plays before my eyes without giving me an option to fight it.

“Ella, you didn’t go to the ball, right?” He asks and I know he knows the answer, he asked it before.

“I was working the whole night,” I reply, which is true, I was working the whole night. I just escaped from that for a wee bit, but he doesn’t need to know that.

“Yeah I just— Never mind,” he sighs again and I do the same, but whereas his is of resignation, mine is of relief. “You know, it’s really easy talking to you and it helps loads.”

“Yet you still sound overwhelmed,” I input and he sighs again. Poor lad, he’s really stressed. “Have you tried riding at night?” I ask and he looks confused. “You know, horses, at this time of the day,” I clarify and he nods, his mouth forming an O.

“Not really,” Niall replies so I walk away, grabbing the horse tack and walking back to where Ares is with Niall.

“We’re going, then. You look like you could use a good ride. I’ll let you go on Persephone,” I wink at him and he smiles brightly. “Go a grab the other tack and I’ll teach you how to tack up the horse.”

And he does so I teach him how to put all the equipment on the horse first on Ares and then I help him with Persephone. It’s late and all the other guests are at their rooms, resting, or at the bar that the retreat centre has —it’s not too big but it’s really nice. We won’t get in trouble for doing this, plus Mark allows me to ride the horses at night when no one else is watching. He knows how much I love them and how much good they make to me.

So we get the horse ready and I know Niall is a bit anxious, but he is smiling as I lead him out of the stable. “Relax,” I tell him. “Persephone will be nice to you,” I grin mischievously and he frowns at me.

“I’ve done this before, you know?” He says defiantly and I nod, following him. If he’s done it before, he’s not very skilled because he is too tense and keeps the reins too tight.

“Then relax, Niall. Persephone won’t storm out and throw you off of her, okay?” I tell him and he blushes as he looses his grip on the reins a bit.  “Come on, let’s go.”

So we go riding and this is one of my favourite things about this place. Dad, Mum and I used to live in a small house near the city, but this property always belonged to my dad’s family so when he decided to start this business, he knew this was the place, with this humongous Victorian house, with yards and yards of green areas, with many trees and even a small watercourse. Not a river, but kind of. Now the beautiful house I once loved doesn’t look anything like it was before because Rhonda wanted it to be larger and larger so more celebrities could come. And although the main building is really larger than it was, the property still has loads of green areas so you can ride and explore and have an amazing time. And at night, it’s so wonderful because the night sky is so clear and the stars are so bright… it’s beautiful.

We ride in silence, I only speak to give him instructions. I appreciate the landscape, like I always do and I notice how Niall is also doing that, his head moving from one side to the other, trying to grasp every picture perfect we come across to. He watches the sky and I see in the way his eyes widen that he’s awestruck. I don’t blame him, it’s a stunning view and you’d have to be crazy not to love it.

I rush Ares a little bit and Persephone follows him, like she always does. Niall is surprised at the beginning for the change in the pace and grabs the reins tightly again, making the horse stop. “No, no, don’t pull. Let her go a bit fast. She’s just following Ares. Just keep your thighs tightly around her body,” I instruct him and he looks a bit scared but does as I tell him and Persephone resumes her walking and hurries a bit to catch up with Ares and I. Niall really looks tense so I smile at him. “Don’t worry, she won’t let you fall and we won’t go too fast. I just want you to feel the rush. Thighs tightly against her body and reins not too tense or she’ll stop. Okay?” He looks unsure but he nods. “You’ll be fine, trust me.”

I don’t know what those words cause on him, but he smiles and nods more firmly this time, so I hurry Ares again, not too much and Persephone speeds up, as well, following us. Niall follows my instructions and after a while he relaxes and starts smiling until he ends up laughing as we keep going faster until we finally reach one of my favourite parts of this property. It’s a glade near the watercourse and it’s not really big, but it’s beautiful and it gives you a clear sight to the night sky. We finally stop and I see Niall really impressed and smiling widely.

“You like it?” I ask, pride in my voice.

“This place is beautiful. I didn’t think there was a place like this in this retreat,” he replies and I get off of Ares.

“My dad picked this place to start the retreat centre because he knew the effect of nature on people. Sometimes it’s better than any other kind of relaxing therapy,” I tell him and he gets off of Persephone, as well. I stay next to Ares, stroking his hair as I lead him to the water for him to drink a bit. Niall does the same. “This is my favourite spot on this place.”

“It’s beautiful,” he replies and I smile at him. “And you were right, riding was a good idea to clear my mind. I feel… lighter.”

“I’m glad,” I tell him in all honesty. It also helped me to breathe some fresh air.

I look up at the sky, the smile still on my lips and I know Niall is doing the same. I keep watching the stars until I see a shooting one. “Hey,” Niall says. “A shooting star. Make a wish!”

Giggling, I comply: For this summer to go by faster, I say in my mind and then look at him. His eyes are on me, a different kind of smile on his lips that makes me wonder, what kind of wish he ask for.

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Dedication to @Nouis_Love1324. Did you really dressed up as Ella for the Halloween party? That's amazing! I hope you had fun.

Bel, xx