Chapter 15 - Love Notes

“Ella?” I hear someone calling along with knocks at my door.

I open one eye and stick my hand out of the bed, trying to grab my mobile on the nightstand but I just throw my book to the floor. I groan and sit on my bed and only then I can see my phone at the other extreme of the nightstand. When did that happen? I check the time and it’s so early, it’s not time to wake up and I went to bed really late last night. Who’s bothering me? It can’t be Charlie, he just walks in.

“Can I come in?” The voice asks again and now that I’m a bit more awake I can actually recognise his voice. It’s actually Charlie.

“Yeah, come in,” I reply, furrowing my eyebrows just to see him opening the door and walking inside with his head down, almost like a dog that knows it’s done something wrong. “Charlie? You okay?”

“I’m fine,” he says closing the door and walking up to my bed. “I came to apologise. We waited for you but you didn’t come back and Liv told me that you wanted to be alone.” He takes a seat next to me on the bed and I’m still frowning. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think you were gonna take it that badly. I really thought you wanted to know.”

I sigh as I recall all the memories of what happened last night. From Charlie telling me that my mystery guy was Niall to the very Irish boy confirming it at the stables. I remember the almost panic attack I had and the solution I came up with.

“I overreacted,” I tell him and he looks taken aback. “It’s just that I feel guilty for what I did, and really bad about it. I feel like I was stepping in middle of a relationship, and putting faces to the characters was too hard for a moment. I was barely handling it without knowing who they were.”

“I’m sorry. But you did nothing wrong, Ella. He broke up with her before that,” Charlie tries to comfort me.

“No,” I tell him and I feel a little jab in my chest before I say the following words. “She broke up with him and I knew that from that moment, yet I still kissed him. It wasn’t okay, Charlie.”

“But if she broke up with him you shouldn't feel bad about it,” my best friend tries again but I smile humourlessly.

“It wasn’t his intention to break up with her, but after what happened, he hasn’t tried to fix things. It’s part my fault.”

“It’s not!” He insists but I shake my head. “It’s not, Ella. You don’t have to take the blame for the problems in their relationships. I’m sure those come from a long time ago.”

“Still,” I say placing my hand on his leg. “But don’t worry, I know what I’m gonna do to fix this.” Now it’s Charlie’s turn to frown at me. “I’m gonna help to fix their relationship. I’ll help Niall and Zoe to get back together.”

And again, that little jab in my chest, making me feel unease. But I ignore that feeling and keep smiling at my best friend. This is the right thing to do, this is the way I can make amends for what happened at the ball. I shouldn’t have kissed him in the first place, I just wanted to cheer him up, not to snog with him and make his relationship worse.

Maybe it’s very narcissist of me to think I ruined their relationship. I know they had been having problems for a long time, but I certainly didn’t help and if fixing things between them will relieve some of the guilt, then I must do this.

“Ella, I don’t think that’s a good idea. You fancy him, otherwise you would’ve never kissed him.”

“I kissed him without knowing who he was. It has nothing to do with fancying him or not,” I say but he smiles at me sadly, his eyes telling me that I have it all wrong. “And it doesn’t matter whether I fancy him or not, which I don’t, ‘cos me and you know very well that I’d never go after a famous guy.”

“Ella,” Charlie calls but I cut him off.

“Enough talking. I need to get ready and start with my chores. Plus, I have a relationship to fix.” I wink at him but he shakes his head sadly. “Move!” I shout at him, pushing him off my bed. “I need to get dressed!”

He chuckles and doesn’t put it easy for me to push him off of my room, but I manage and I smile as I take a deep breathe, knowing I have loads of things to do, including a visit to Willy, the gardener. I need the most beautiful roses we have if I want this to work out.

+ + + + +

I have it all planned out. Girls love cheesy gestures, and I know Niall is the cheesy type. I mean, he took me to dance right under the disco ball. I can totally see him doing this, as well. It’s not something I would appreciate, but that’s because my life has been a bad cliché from a Disney movie, so it would make me want to puke. But I’m sure Zoe would love it and would give Niall a chance. I just hope he follows the game when his turn comes. I haven’t found him today —and I even cleaned his room— to tell him about my plan, so I hope he doesn’t ruin it.

I talked to Willy and he helped me to make a perfect and breath-taking bouquet with the most beautiful roses of the whole complex. Willy is a fifty-three-year-old man with the heart of the size of England itself. He’s been here since my Dad started the business and he’s one of the nicest people you will ever meet.

While he was making the bouquet, I made sure to write a love note. And that was the hardest part. I’m not good at writing about feelings and although I’m a girl, I don’t know exactly what words would work with a normal girl. Thus, I write down the words that wouldn’t work with me and I’m pretty sure it will work with Zoe. Or any other romantic girl who wants a boy swearing she is special to him and that she means the world to him. I would puke reading something like that, but I hope Zoe loves it and gives Niall a second chance.

This is my chance of redemption and I hope it works. Please, let it work.

So after I finish with her room, I put the bouquet there with the letter I wrote in the name of Niall. If I had the money I would have totally bought a pretty bracelet or something. I think girls like that, I’m not sure. I’d feel like he’s trying to buy me and I would hate him for even trying, but again, I’m not your regular cheesy girl.

If I see Niall I’ll tell him to buy Zoe something pretty to ‘show his love’ for her. If she forgives him first. Maybe I’m wrong and she’s just like me and will throw all this at Niall’s face. Good thing Willy removed all the thorns from the roses.

I leave the room making sure the bouquet looks perfect and very visible, and when I close the door, that jab in my chest attacks me. I ignore it one more time and keep going with my chores, keeping myself busy. When I meet Charlie and Olivia at lunch they ask me how it went so I tell them about my super mega cheesy plan.

None of them have seen Niall and Zoe, so we don’t know if it actually worked. I hope it did.

“I don’t think this was a good idea,” Liv says and Charlie stares at me with an I-told-you-so kind of look, but I roll my eyes at him. “It’s not like she’s a bad girl or anything, but for what I’ve heard, that relationship wasn’t working and she was really tired of trying so hard when he is not even trying at all. What they had is too damaged and even if they get back together, it’s gonna end rather sooner than later.”

“You don’t know that, I don’t know that. But I tried and I can say I made amends for my mistake.”

“And what if it wasn’t a mistake?” Charlie intervenes and I look at him with a tired expression. “What if he is actually your prince charming and you’re throwing your chance down the toilet?” He ventures and I roll my eyes.

“You’re made of fluffy Disney movies, aren’t you? There’s no such thing as Prince Charming, Charlie. And I would never be with someone of his kind.”

“You make it sound like he’s a different species,” Liv says in a laugh but I’m serious.

“In a way he is. And can we drop this subject? I did my part, now it depends on him.”

“Then it’s not gonna work out, if what I’ve heard is true.”

“I did my part,” is all I say before we actually finish talking about it.

The rest of the day goes as normally as any other day, except that I run into Harry and he teases me about how his house is gonna win the Tournament Cup this year. I laugh at him before he says he has to find his best mates. And he will, because he’s a particular good finder. And then he leaves singing a song from A Very Potter Musical.

Seriously, it’s a pity that that guy is a celebrity, I actually like him. I like that he’s potterhead.

After dinner, instead of going to my room, I go to the stables again. The jab in my chest hasn’t left and maybe it’s because I’m too stressed. Plus, last night I slept really soundly and I think it’s because I came to see Ares. Let’s not talk about the other person I met here.

The moment I see the black horse a smile plays on my lips and I grab a brush to run it through his hair as I tell him about what I did today and the things I have in my mind.

“And I don’t know why I feel like there’s something in my chest, bugging me. It’s kinda annoying me, though,” I tell him and he snorts shaking his head. “I know! My same reaction.”

“Having a deep conversation, aren’t you?” I turn around as I hear that voice. My heart is in my throat because I wasn’t expecting to see him and because I didn’t hear him approaching.

Is he a ninja? So silent, I never hear him approaching.

“Niall,” I greet. “Having problems again?” I ask, turning to focus my attention on Ares again, ignoring the way my heart races at Niall’s presence and the way my guts twist.

It’s just a side-effect of the dance, these reactions are not real, I tell myself.

“No. I was actually looking for you,” he says and I catch my breath and freeze on the spot, even my heart skips a beat at his words. “I wanted to say thank you.”

I turn around to meet his blue eyes and now he’s much closer. He approached and I didn’t hear him again. “For what?” I ask, my voice low, almost a whisper.

“For helping me with Zoe. She loved the roses and the letter, although I don’t even know what you wrote.”

“Just cheesy things,” I tell him and he laughs. “I really tried, okay. Don’t laugh.”

“It’s just the way you say it”, he explains patting Ares with a big smile on his face. The horse also looks happy. “But thanks. She forgot all the bad things I did and told me that we can try again.”

I look at him, frowning. He sounds so calm, like he’s just talking about any other thing. He is showing as much emotion as Charlie showed when Liv and I started to talk about some shoes we saw the other day and asked him what he thought about it.

“You don’t sound happy,” I venture and he laughs humourlessly.

“Maybe because I don’t think I deserve a second chance with her. Or fifth in this case. Plus, I can’t stop thinking of my mystery girl,” he adds and my heart skips another beat, scaring me. “Am I a bad guy because of this?”

I want to tell him that he’s not because I’ve been thinking of him, too, even if I fight myself all the time for that. But I can’t tell him that, can I? “A bit,” I say instead. “You should really try with her.”

“That’s the problem,” he says, staring right into my eyes and I catch my breath again. “I don’t know if I really want to try.”

“Y-you should,” I say and he sighs heavily.

“I should,” he repeats after me and although I know I told him that and it’s the right thing to do, the jab in my chest hurts harder, going deeper.

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Dedication to @Dream2Inspire. I know you didn't even want the dedication, but your comment was the best one. Thanks (:

Bel, xx