I can see Phil get up from the chair he was sitting in in the corner. He gets up and sits on the edge of the bed. I don't tell him to move, but when Phil starts to scoot closer to me I move away just a little bit. Then he stops and stays where he is.

  Phil begins to talk, "So when I did leave, at first I did leave because of what you told me. But it's not because I'm an asshole- much of one anyways."

  "Then why did you do it?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows together. "Why would you just leave when I told you something that I trusted you with?"

  Phil sighs. "It's because I was confused, okay?" He says. "And I know that sounds really selfish of me and that you are probably going through so much more than me, but it's the truth. I was confused on what to think at that moment, what to say, even what to feel about the whole situation."

  Phil takes a moment to pause, thinking of what he wanted to say next. "I really liked you, Dan. I still do. But in that moment I just needed some time to think. It's not everyday that someone drops a bomb like that on you, so I just needed some time to process that."

  "Then why couldn't of you just told me that? I would have given you time." I say. I'm getting angry at this point, which really doesn't surprise me. Like, I would've understood. He didn't need to ignore me. But although I'm angry, I said I would listen so I just need to sit through about four more minutes of this talk.

  "It's really selfish and horrible of me, I know. But please Dan, you have to understand." Phil basically begs. "But when you told me it was a big shock. And I will admit, after about a week I wanted to forget about you so I could just stop thinking about you and how horrible I made this situation between us.

  "But that's just it. I could not forget about you. You were constantly on my mind, 24/7. And it was so frustrating not being able to stop. But I think that was one of the moments where I realized that I truly love you Dan.

  "And I didn't know if since you are a boy and I love you, if that means I'm gay, or bisexual, or something. And that was hard for me to understand and come to terms with. But recently I realized that it really didn't matter." Phil pauses for a second.

  "It didn't matter because I realized that I still love you whether you're a boy or a girl or if you're anything else. I fell in love with you. Not your gender. And I'm sorry if you don't feel the same way anymore, but I am so in love with you. And I don't think that I will ever be able to stop loving you."

  It's like everything had just stopped. We stare into each others eyes, him waiting for an answer, and me trying to think of one.

  But after not hearing those words come from him for such a long time, it's so different. After a while of neither of us answering, I finally decided to speak.

 I can feel tears in my eyes, one tear spills out and rolls down my cheek. "And I really love you too, Phil." I say, giving a little laugh as I wipe the tear away, am I really crying again? "I understand where you're coming from, and I forgive you.."

 I can see Phil's eyes widen in hopefulness. "But I really think that I just need some time to think about whether or not I can trust you again. Can you just give me that?" I ask.

  Phil nods. "Yeah, of course." He says, getting up from my bed. 

  "Thank you Dan, for listening and understanding." He says. "Talk to you later, yeah?"

   "Yeah, I'll talk to you later. : I can see him heasitating, looking as if he was wondering whether or not he should hug me. But in the end he just left with an awkward goodbye, which was okay with me.

  When he leaves I just sit there, and stare at the wall in front of me, thinking. Should I begin to trust Phil again? Give him another chance? Honestly, I don't know.

  I sit there and think for a long time. Now just about random things. And I hadn't realized how long I had sat there until I heard a knock on there door, which caused me to jump out of my trance and look towards it.

  "Come in." I say. When the door opens I see Chris.

  "Oh hey-" I say before being cut off when Chris suddenly rushes towards me and hugs me tightly. I hug him back, us just sitting there in each others embrace until Chris breaks the hug. Now just sitting next to me on the bed.

  "Sorry." He apologizes. "I just.. needed that." Chris looks down.

  "It's okay. I needed it too." I say. After a moment of silence I get Chris' attention. "I'm sorry Chris." He looks back up and into my eyes. "I'm so so sorry."

  He shakes his head, "No, Dan. It's okay, you don't have to say sorry. Well, it wasn't what you did wasn't really good, but you're okay now. That's all that matters."

  I chuckle, "I'm far from okay." I say quietly, but I know that Chris could hear me.

  I don't think that Chris really knew what to say to that so everything went quiet. But it was comfortable silence.

  "I found your note." Chris suddenly says. When I look at him he keeps his head down, not making eye contact. And when he does look up I can see tears in his eyes. But knowing Chris, I know he's trying so hard not to let them spill.

  "I'm such a bad friend." He says. "I never even noticed that you were feeling this way because I was too busy being a selfish dick and only thinking about my feelings. And the only thing I can say right now is I'm sorry Dan. I'm incredibly sorry. You're my best friend, you have and you always will be. I don't want to lose you."

  I smile, his words warming my heart. "It's okay Chris. It's not your fault, don't blame yourself." I say. "Like I said before, you're like a brother to me. I love you. I'm not going to leave you."

  "Promise?"

  "I promise."

  Chris smiles and hugs me again.

  "Hey Chris?" I ask, breaking away from the hug. "Do you mind if I can just be alone right now? I have a lot of things I need to think about."

  Chris hesitates on getting up, "I don't know, Dan." He says warily.

  "Chris, it's fine. I promised I wasn't going to leave you. Nothing's going to happen." I try to convince him. "Please."

  "Okay, then." Chris gets up from the bed. I can still see he's uncomfortable with leaving me alone.

  I look him in the eyes one last time, "Chris, I will be fine."

  He nods, turning away. Before he walks out the door he looks back at me, giving me one last smile before leaving and closing the door.

  I sink back in my bed, sighing. Looking over at the bedside table I see the clock says 19:35. And even though it's so early I feel exhausted from today.

  I turn off the lamp on the bedside table and close my eyes, falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

  Waking up, I'm hyperventilating , and sweating. Stupid fucking nightmares.

  I look at the clock again. 5:08 am.

   Sighing, I get out of bed, walking towards my door. When I get out of my room I go down the stairs and towards the kitchen to get a drink of water.

  When I get in the kitchen I jump. "PJ?" I question.

  I see PJ sat at the table eating cereal out bowl. "Oh.. Hi Dan." He says awkwardly.

  "What are you doing here at 5 in the morning?" I ask, wiping the sleep out of my eyes. Is this a dream?

  PJ looks offended, "What? I can't come over to my ex-friends house and eat his cereal?" He questions.

  I look at him in disbelief, "No."

  PJ shrugs, "Well I was about to leave anyways." He says, getting up. "Nice to see you Dan." He walks by me and towards the door.

  "You're not even gonna clean up your mess?" I call after him, noticing he left the bowl of cereal and the box.

  "Bye Dan." He says walking out the door."

  I think I'm just gonna go back to bed.

* * *

 Okay wow, I think that was one of the only times ive ended a chapter on a happy note. This is new for me.

  Anyways hope you enjoyed that chapter. I kinda liked it cause it was different, even though it really wasn't the best written chapter ever. Sorry about that. This was completely unplanned.

 Like I usually write more serious and sad ones, but even though this one is still kind of emotional, its still light hearted. So I liked that.

  But now for the reason I made this semi-long chapter is because 'Transgender' just hit oNE MILLION READS. HOLY CATS.

  THANK YOU GUYS SO SO MUCH. I LOVE YOU ALL. THIS IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME AND MAKES ME SO HAPPY SO THANK YOU!!!!

  byyeee xx