AS SOON AS, Laavanya climbed onto the ship—she was given the freedom to choose whatever cabin she liked. She was going to reach Bayfort in just a few hours so she didn't give it much of a thought. She sent an update on Julie about her whereabouts and went into the bathroom to shower.

She played her shower playlist while washing her hair in lukewarm water. No matter how hot it was, she could never survive having a cold water bath. Cameron could never tolerate the thought of showering in hot water. Whenever they bathed together, they always fought over how warm or cold the water should be. In the end, they stopped doing it altogether.

Laavanya had begun to question if it was wrong of her to fall out of love with someone who has done nothing but shower her with unconditional love. She didn't know why she felt this way about Cameron. Things were so different two years ago—she wanted to spend each second with him. They'd have dates thrice a month and she visited his parents just two months after they met but now, she just wanted to stay away from him. She wished she could go back in time and relive the moments she spent with him. She wanted to know why she fell in love with him. And hold on to that. Cameron's heart is made of glass and she doesn't want it to be the one holding the hammer.

Thinking about him made her feel worse than she already was. She doesn't have enough money to survive even the next three in this city. If she doesn't get the job she interviewed for yesterday, she might have to use the rest of her money to move back to her hometown with her father. And she didn't want that.

She stepped out of the shower and dried herself. Her mind was already numb and chaotic at the same time and she felt like she was suffocating in this room. She picked up her book and walked out to the in-built pool. She sat on one of the chairs below the umbrella and began reading her third self-help book of the month. She had almost forgotten about everything when her phone buzzed from her pocket.

"Hello. Am I talking to Laavanya Shaw?" The woman from the other line speaks. She kept her book aside and sat up.

"Yes, you are talking to her right now," She answered.

"Right, okay. I am Diana from Piper & Lawson Publishers." Laavanya's heart sprang to her mouth. "We are very sorry to inform you that the Editor-In-Chief has decided to hire someone else. Piper & Lawson w—" She pulled her phone away from her ears and hung up before the lady could continue. This was the seventh rejection in the last three months.

She stood up on her feet and her eyes pool with tears as she acknowledged the fact that she would probably be jobless for the rest of her life. Laav had no choice now but to move back. Even in her town, she would have to start from scratch. Her mother ran back to India the moment Laav's father started drinking again. Laavanya had survived all these years because of the money that her mom would send and her father's old savings. But she had neither now. She hadn't talked to her mother in six months and she hoped her father was still continuing his ongoing two year sober streak.

She sniffed and walked towards the edge of the deck. She leaned on the metal railing and even though it was burning her skin, she pressed her elbow even more as a punishment for her own cruel fate. She kept questioning what she was failing at—she graduated from one of the best colleges with a scholarship and even has work experience yet somehow some other applicant gets the job and she doesn't. She almost regretted quitting her previous job but then the thought to Mr. Kalu made her head spin.

Maybe she wasn't meant to live in the city.

Laavanya plucked the daisy resting above her ear and squashed it in her fist. She was about to throw it in the ocean when she heard footsteps approaching her. She turned around right when Ryker leaned to the chair she was sitting at and read the title of the book.

"I can't believe you're reading a nonfiction book about bettering yourself here," he snickered and looked at her. Laavanya didn't answer and turned back to the ocean, the warm breeze slapping her face constantly. "Why does it look like you're plotting my murder? Are you okay?" He came and stood beside her.

"What do you want, Ryker?"

"Geez, I just came here for a swim in the pool."

"Why don't you just dive into the ocean and not come back up?"

"You would like that, won't you?"

"Extremely."

"Well, if you say so..." Ryker climbed on the railing and looked over at her. Laavanya rolled her eyes and shook her head—certain that he wouldn't jump. "You don't believe me, do you?" She gave him a pointed look. Ryker stretched his shoulders and pulled his t-shirt out. He took a deep breath and jumped.

Laavanya startled slightly. She looked down at the ocean and waited for him to rise up. A moment passed by and she couldn't find any traces of Ryker. "Oh, no." Her heart tried to break free from the cage. "Ryker!" She yelled. "Ryker, are you there?" Her breath shortened. "Can you hear me, Ryker?" Laavanya spun around and rushed in search of the captain of the boat. He was standing at the promenade deck when she approached him.

"Captain...I..." She was out of breath. "Ryker, uh...he..."

"Summoned me, Laav?" A voice said from behind. Laavanya turned around to find Ryker standing behind her with his hands on his waist—beads of salty water running down his torso and a smug smile on his face.

Laavanya lunged towards him and slapped his arm. "You, idiot!" She yelled. "Why would you do that?"

A laugh thundered in Ryker's chest. Laavanya slapped his arm again. "It was a joke, enough slapping." He chuckled but she didn't stop. She jabbed his chest and smacked his arm again. No sooner did she lose herself completely in hitting him. Ryker's face of amusement turned into concern. "Laav..." He tried to catch her arms but she continued to smack his torso—tears in her eyes. "Laav!" He held both of her hands and searched for her eyes. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"I..." She sniffed. "Nothing. I hated the joke. Don't do that again."

Laavanya flinched away from him and walked back to her room. She heard him call her out but she closed the door and sat on the floor, hugging herself as her blurry grey future flashed in front of her eyes.

This trip was a goodbye to her happy life.

have you ever had a close to death experience? I don't think I have but I'm open to stories!

what do you think of Laavanya? For international/non-Indian besties; Laavanya is pronounced as laa-vuhn-nya :)