RYKER WAS WELL aware of the consequences if he went in search of Lavanya right now. But it didn't matter right now. He watched her chug down a bottle of whiskey and it isn't rocket science for him to figure out that she can't handle it. She needed someone to look after her right now and he should be the last person looking for her. He should ask Julie to go after her or maybe Savannah but Ryker wanted to be selfish.

For once.

He doesn't know much about Laavanya—what she likes, what her heart desires or—if she even has a boyfriend but he knows where he would go to get away from everyone and that's where he was first going to look for her first. He circled around the back of the mansion and followed the cobblestoned path to the beach that Grandpa Morris always kept like a sacred place. Grandpa never visited grandma's grave—he always came to the beach. Just like how Ryker would go after the incidents.

The night had settled in and the moon lurked behind the clouds. He liked the chilliness Bayhort nights had even during summer. It's one of the only things he liked about this island.

He pulled his shoes and socks out before making his way into the beach. The cold sand pricked his feet as he began to look for her. It didn't take him long to find a blurry silhouette resting against one the large black stones that the other end of the beach had. He swiftly walked towards her only to find Laavanya sipping from the bottle of alcohol silently as she listened to the sound of the ocean and soft echoes of the crickets.

"If you don't stop now, you'll regret it tomorrow." He sunk his hands into the pocket of his trousers. She didn't look at him. She stared in front of her. There was barely any light here—he couldn't see her face unless he was sitting beside her and even though he had already broken his rules—this was a territory he would never dare cross. Besides, he knew she wouldn't feel safe around him. He has never been there—one night isn't going to make her trust him with her emotions.

"Like. You. Care." She stressed on every word as if it wasn't the words she was speaking but rather a venom she was injecting. And it did in fact sting him. But he was used to that. Just not from her.

He remained silent. A breeze brushed by and he remembered that she was wearing nothing to cover her body. He pushed his blazer down his shoulders and moved hesitantly and stepped closer. He took a breath in and wrapped his blazer around her. She dissected herself from the stone to let the blazer cover her back too and leaned back to the stone. She brought her knees closer to her body and snuggled to his blazer. She was about to kiss the bottle again when he said, "Enough, Lavanya," he muttered. "Don't do this to yourself."

"Go away, Ryker." She took another sip.

"Don't make me snatch that bottle from you. It would not be pretty."

Finally, she looked towards him. But it was too dark to read her face. "What would it take for you to leave me alone?"

"Stop drinking and get inside."

"I want to be alone." It was an order more than a wish.

"Be alone inside, it's cold. You'll freeze."

She slumped her shoulders. "For fuck's sake, Ryker. I know you hate me but please, stop fucking bothering me. It's been a shitty few weeks and god, I don't want to spend my one peaceful moment with you."

Ryker's heart shrunk. But he tried his best not to react. The soft playfulness he had in him disappeared completely. He looked into the dark outlines of her eyes. "I don't hate you," he whispered, not even sure if she heard him. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and sat crossed legged in her direction—keeping a safe distance between them. "Why would you think I hate you? Did I do something to you?"

"Of course you don't remember," she snickered, unhumourous.

"Tell me." He waited for a moment but she just turned back to the waves. He wanted to move closer, hold her hand or something—give her physical reassurance but he stayed put. "Alright, don't tell me but I swear Laavanya, I don't hate you. I never did and I am sorry if you ever felt that way."

He had done a lot of things wrong but he never wanted to hurt her. How could he? He only kept his distance because he knew she was worth more than what he had or what he could give.

"When we first met, I had a crush on you. I would follow you here sometimes to watch you swim alone. I tried to make small talk with you, I even stupidly wore bikinis I wasn't even comfortable in just so you would notice me and finally you did. You noticed your little cousin's best friend crushing on you so when you found me alone in the Sugarpine park eating cotton candy—you warned me to stay away from you and that you had other important things to take care of than be with me. So I did. I never looked back at you again. I told myself that you hate me so I could stop liking you. And it worked. So..." She turned to him and sighed. "Don't apologise. You may not hate me but I have believed in that for a long time. And once you start believing the lie you told, it becomes your reality."

The air between them thickened. Ryker kept watching her—trying to process what she had said. She remembered. And of course he did too. He remembered everything. And god, he had hoped she didn't.

"No."

"What?"

"No, Laav." He stood up to his feet. "I am not going to let you believe that I hate you. Yes, I asked you to stay away but it was never because I hated you. It was something else altogether. So, no. This lie that you've told to protect your heart—I am not going to let you live with it."

"Please, Ryker. I don't have the energy to deal with this right now. I don't want to think about my past or my future. It is exhausting and tiring and hopeless. I...I—" She sniffed her tears in. "I don't want to talk to you right now."

"Fine," he said and sat again but this time, he faced the sea. "I am going to stay here until you want to go inside. We don't have to talk but I am not leaving you alone. I am going to stay."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't before."

hello, fellow readers! im a few days late but happy new year! i hope this year brings more happy stories in your life :)