De'Mario's POV:

It's been a whole damn year and nothing has changed. I still feel the same way as I did the day Shawny took the blame for me. We write each other all the time but I can't get the courage to go see her. You wouldn't understand unless you were in my shoes before. I can't see her but not be able to touch her. I can't know that she's only a few feet away from me but I can't take her home. I don't want to tease myself with something that's off limits.

Most of our letters are about how we feel about each other and memories. The one question that never popped up was,

Why did you do it?

I still make music and chill with my bro Chris and them but I haven't spoke to Eric and Them. Im tired of the Media bringing up the situation with Shawny and Im mad asf that they recorded the whole thing. I hate to see people replaying what will haunt me for the rest of my life.

I have an interview with Queen Latifah today on her show and I don't feel too good about it. Nicole told me to do it for Shawny and that was enough motivation.

QL: "Welcome, Legacy. Well, you are looking handsome today, I like the swag and style you have."

Me: "Thank you, you're looking good yourself." I said with a charming smile.

QL: "Thank you, hunn. So tell me, Legacy, What brings you here? You haven't been doing any concerts, No appearances, No interviews, but you've dropped 2 albums. Why the sudden change of heart?"

Me: "Yeah Well, I had a little pep from my moms and-"

QL: "I thought your mom passed away?"

Me: "Shawny's Mom."

QL: "Oh, Im sorry. Well, then Yes continue."

Me: "That was it. All I was saying was, She told me to come for Shawny If I wasn't coming for myself, So, here I am."

Audience: "Awwww *Applause*"

QL: "That's sweet. Okay, so how did that whole situation go down last year? Because it looks like it was alot more to it than what happened in that courthouse especially since there was a guy missing."

Me: "Right, Well. To clear the air for the world to know because this is the first and hopefully the last time imma say this. You are hearing the true story from beginning to end. The case was closed and I was sentenced already anyway so this can be leaked. Fans at home and to the ones to hate me or even Shawny, turn up your volume listen carefully.... Shawny had a friend named Keisha that passed away a couple years ago. Keisha got AIDS from Tony. Tony & I were homies through my cousin Eric. The day I introduced them to Shawny, she asked him about Keisha. He said some foul words and she smacked him. I mean she smacked him so hard that Flexx and Mia came out the room half dressed."

QL: "Who is Mia & Flexx?"

Me: "Flexx, well James is Shawny's Cousin and Mia is his baby moms, Well, fiance because he had just proposed to her the night before."

QL: "Awww, that's adorable."

Me: "Yeah, so, Everybody asked what was going on and Tony called her out her name. Shawny held on me so tight that I couldn't move cause she knew I was upset. Well, James got ahold of him and Mia couldn't control him. They started fighting. Long story short, James and Mia got shot, Shawny beat his ass and Kacey called 911."

QL: "Wow, that must have been crazy."

Me: "It ain't over, Mia woke up the next day, James didn't."

QL: "Oh, wow. That's sad. So what happened to Tony?"

Me: "He was locked up and they were supposed to throw away the key."

QL: "Ooh, this is getting interesting."

Me: "Alright. So, a year later, Shawny and I have just got back together from a 7 month break up and-"

QL: "7 month break up?! What! What happened? Someone must have done something bad."

Me: "Since, this plays into the story, I guess I'll tell. Well, going back some months before... I left Shawny for like a month and came back because I found out she was pregnant and everything was my fault."

QL: "Wait, You have kids by her?"

Me: "Listen, Im not done."

QL: "Okay, Im sorry, continue."

Me: "You good. So, we were together for one night and I got the worst of the mood swings because she was already 2 months pregnant. The next day we went through it and I just decided to take her out to eat and then we went back to my place. Well, Cassie,"

QL: "Cassie?"

Me: "Cassandra is one of her dancers. You know, the thick one who danced back up at her birthday party last year at my first appearance."

QL: "Ohhh.. That one, yess the one who was pregnant with your baby?"

Me: "See, you already ahead with the story."

QL: "My bad, gone head."

Me: "Cassie was waiting in her car when Shawny and I pulled up to my house. I didn't know what to, I was scared to be honest. Once she opened the door, she threw up and I took her up stairs to my room to clean herself up. While she did that, I went to talk to Cassie. Shawny came down in the middle of the conversation and tried to choke her to death. The only reason she let her go is cause she start holding her stomach and crying. She told me she hated me and told me to drop her off. She said If I touched her, she was gone kill me next. She screamed again out of nowhere and rushed to the car."

QL: "Wait, so you didn't bother asking her what was wrong?"

Me: "Nah, I was mad cause she said she hated me. Don't get me wrong, I was worried but I was worried about myself, what Cassie just told me, and mad at Shawny at the same damn time so I ain't have the right mind set at the time., ya know?"

QL: "Right, right. It was just too much going on at one time."

Me: "Exactly. I couldn't think straight. Okay so, I dropped her off at home and she stormed into the house. I ain't see her for like two more weeks and I caught her slipping while she was putting groceries in her house. Mia, Eric and I walked through her front door. We brought the kids with us. She was happy to see the kids but not to see us. Shawny was climbing counters and stuff like she was a monkey or something, I wasn't feeling that and Mia wasn't either."

QL: "Right, I feel where you coming from."

Me: "Mia said something and Shawny snapped. I tried to calm things down but I always make things worse when it comes to Shawny."

Everyone laughed and I joined them.

QL: "What did you say?"

Me: "I told her that I was the father of the child so I have a say and I agree with Mia because she had kids before."
QL: "That's understandable, what did she say? Cause I don't see why she flipped out."

I took a deep breath and held back tears. I haven't spoke about that moment to No one before and this would be the first. That hurt me beyond anything I could think of. Before I knew it, my eyes were watering and I sniffled. Everyone awwed me and Queen Latifah rubbed my back as I put myself back together.

Me: "She said the was No baby anymore."

I continued to cry and they went for a commercial break.

QL: "Aww, Im soo sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how you must've felt. That's a lot to hold on to."

Me: "Hell yeah, that shit hurt like no other. She kicked us out the house After that and we didn't see her for 7 months straight."

QL: "That must be difficult."

Me: "Not to mention that Cassie was pregnant."

QL: "Oh, Lord YES, I forgot."

Me: "Shawny never knew either."

QL: "Ooh, why not!?"

Me: "Cause that would hurt her, she had just lost her baby Well babies cause she was having twins."

QL: "Oh, my."

When we got back from commercial, I finished telling my story. Once I got to the last part, I choked.

Me: "I can't do this. This the hardest part for me. I love my Babygirl and I wish I never got her involved in my life. She deserved better than me and Another chance, I hope they find out that she has No reason to be in there... Life in prison? I will never get to hold her No more, kiss her No more, laugh with her No more, argue with her No more, not even feel the presence of her around me is there anymore. And it hurts, it's just sad. I want her back and know I can't get her."

QL: "I feel for you, honey. You're going to make me cry." She started to tear up.

Me: "Im sorry."

QL: "No, No, it's fine. We don't have to continue but I got one last last question for you."

Me: "Wassup?"

QL: "I like how youre so laid back. But anyway, If Shawny was watching the show right now, what would you like to say to her?"

Me: "There's so much I wanna say but what sums it all up is, Baby, Im sorry and I love you more than I love myself at times. There's No where I'd rather be right now than in your arms watching Think Like A Man 2 and listening to your heart. I know you always wondered why I love to snuggle my head inbetween your breast and fell asleep smiling.Imma tell you why... One, it reminds me of our first time and why I love you. Two, you know, Im a man *Chuckles* But Three, your heartbeat soothes me and makes my feel secure."

QL: "Like a child?"

Me: "As crazy as it sounds, Yes. But it's only from her, though. I don't know, I love to be held by her. She will have me sleep and No time, I don't even attempt to count it's so quick."

QL: "That's so beautiful."

Me: "That's my baby, man."

They pulled up a picture of us two on the beach one day and I smiled from ear to ear.

QL: "You guys, really are a beautiful couple."

Me: "Thank you."

The next day...

Today, I decided to go see my baby. I don't know how things will go but I know it's going to be the most emotional day of my life. I threw on my all read outfit and called it a day. I can care less about my dreads , I just left them down.

I pull up to the prison and get checked by some guards before going to the people and letting them know who I was here for. I alot of the people there were excited to see me and asked for an autograph. I really didn't have any difficulties getting through.

I was escorted to a room where it was a table and two chairs on each side. I sat in one chair and waited for them to bring Shawny in. The moment I saw her, my heart warmed and I want to embrace her in a hug.

But I can't.

Shawny: "Hey, Baby."

Me: "Hey, Babygirl."

Her hands were cuffed together and chained to the chain around her waist. I hate to see her like this but I don't want to make this visit any worse than it is.

Shawny: "I've heard your music, I can tell you're depressed."

Me: "Why did you do it?"

Shawny: "Because, I had to."

Me: "No, you didn't."

Shawny: "I did it because you have a daughter to live for. Everyone I've ever lived for is dead it's my fault. I would die If this was you."

Me: "But you had so much going for yourself-"

Shawny: "You're right, I had. Not anymore. My dreams got thrown out the window when we went into hiding."

Me: "The were looking for me."

Shawny: "They were looking for the both of us, They just wanted you. That was good enough go expel me from school and take away my licenses for everything."

Me: "Baby, you don't deserve this shit."

Shawny: "It doesn't matter because it was my choice. You're stronger than me, I know you can move on. You don't have a choice. Go take care of Maria and tell her that I love her. Be a real father D, set your priorities straight. You and Kacey have my permission to be together and I want you to treat her as you would me, be a family."

Me: "Tell me, you just kidding. Have you lost your damn mind? I will never let another take your place, let alone treat them like they did and definitely not her. Come on, Bae. Don't do this to me. You're not leaving me."

Shawny: "Where can I go? D, you need to move on with your life. I want you to be happy and love. You cant love me. Im completely off limits for the rest of my life. I can't be with you."

Guard: "Times up."

Me: "Shawny Don't-"

Shawny: "Goodbye D, I love you. Take care of yourself. I seen the show last night by the way."

And those were the last words I heard from her...

Later that night...

We at Chris's place with Aug and Mike. I needed to spoke a good one and get a little tipsy tonight to clear my head and relieve some stress.

Chris: "How did the visit go today?"

Me: "She told me to never come back."

Mike: "Damn, what you say to her?"

I shrugged my shoulders and inhaled the smoked from the blunt and soon exhaling.

Me: "She said we can't be together No more and that I need to move on. She said she wants me to be happy and love."

Chris: "She had a year to make up her mind."

Me: "I think she needed more time, the funniest shit is that she told me to be with Kacey and start a family. I don't want that bitch. She said, treat Kacey how I treat her, Fuck that."

Aug: "Yea, Ion kno bout allat."

Chris: "Yeah, hell nah. Just take care of yo baby and leave that bitch alone. I think Shawny right though. You do need to move on and be happy."

Me: "But I am happy, nigga."

Mike: "Yeah, right."

Aug: "I can't tell, allat wining and crying shit you been doing now that she gone."

Me: "Shut the fuck up, man. I just miss her that's all."

Chris: "Exactly, she don't want you missing her all your life. She wants you happy."

Me: "What ever, That's my baby and I ain't letting nobody take her place."

We finished smoking as much weed as we could and drinking until we felt it was necessary, Well It could have just been me but I needed it.

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