De'Shawn's POV :

It's a sunny Saturday morning, the clouds of snow on the ground are melting. I find it very hard to get up but I have a competition to attend at 3. It's later than most competitions because this one was pushed back due to school issues.

I roll my lazy ass out of bed after debating whether I should get up or sleep some more for about 20 mins. It's 12:43pm and I'm still tired as hell from practice last night.

Today is a important day in cheer history. We made it to nationals this year and Im trying to go home with that trophy once again.

I make sure that I wake up my step mom before anything else then I find my warm ups, put my music on speaker, and hop in the shower. Singing along to inspiring music to hype me up for the competition later.

When I get out the shower, I put on my all black warm ups.with red and white letters that say 'EK Varsity Competitive Cheer', blow dry and style my hair then top it off with my black bow trimmed with red and silver glitter in it. The I put on my white Kapea cheer shoes. Im ready to kick some ass today.

Its 1:49pm & my step mom is still sleep. I go bang on the bedroom door.

SM: "Hmmm, Whaat!?"

Me: "It's already 2, I gotta be up there at 2:30."

SM: "..."

5 mins later...

I knock on the door again, this time, I knock louder.

SM: "Stop knocking on the Damn door, I'll get you there!"

Okay, now she's really pissing me off. I knew this was going to happen. She does it all the time. She's ALWAYS late. It doesn't matter what it is, if it aint for her, shes going to be late.

Im not really mad that she's late because I expected that but Im mad that she doesn't realize how important this is to me. I could cry right now. I don't even have time to eat breakfast.

20 more minutes pass, and I threw on my Varsity Cheer coat the I walk out the house in frustration slamming the door. With my cheer duffle bag hanging over my shoulder, I sprint to door "H" to meet my teammates on the bus that just pulled in.

Shit, Im glad I made it just in time.

Of course, we won the trophy. On the ride back to the school, I was a happy camper. But I was lowkey preparing myself for the drama that was waiting at home for me as usual, just more dramatic this time. I didn't even bother calling.

I decide to walk home after the competition, Which shouldn't be a problem because Im saving her gas. I live Damn there right across the street from the school.

I made it to the house and the door was unlocked.

That means they seen me walking home already.

I walked in and before I could put my bag down, I hear my dad call my name from my room.

Dad: "Have a seat."

I sat down.

"How was this competition or whatever?"

Me: "It was fun, we won the trophy, and all my tumbling were clean, and every last one of our stunt groups went,"

Dad: "That's what's up, Im glad you had fun..." he paused... "Cause that was your last time ever leaving this house again. If it ain't about school, you ain't going nowhere!"

Me: "What did I do?!"

Dad: "Stop asking dumb ass questions, you can't play me like Im stupid. You didn't think I was awake when you were talking to my wife like you were grown this morning, huh?!"

Now, this nigga just lost it. What the hell is he talking about? Then my step mom walked in.

SM: "Bae, it's okay chill out. "

Dad: "No, it's not okay cause I didn't raise no disrespectful ass child. Got me fucked up. I don't know where she thought it was okay to walk out of my motherfucking house, slam my motherfucking door, and didn't even lock the bitch.! Over some punk ass cheerleading."

SM: "I don't know either. Maybe she thought she could take care of herself, If that was the case she shouldn't have harassed me to take her, it wasn't even time to go yet when she left. So who was she you there to see?"

I looked at that bitch like she was crazy. I am so upset , I could cry right now. Why does this shit always happen to me?

Dad: "She ain't grown, and far from it. Im grown. I pay the bills. What I say GO. If you do not listen to what we say you will have a problem. I don't give a Fuck If you were in the middle of a cheer season, you would not be playing anymore. But since this was the last one, you got lucky. But you won't be going to prom. I garantee you that. & she said you left early, who were you going up there to meet in that little ass skirt!?"

A tear fell, I can't believe he is really accusing me of being a fast ass little girl. I don't even want to respond.

Me: "I had on my warmups when I left and I had to meet my team at door "H" , the bus just had came when I made it up there. I almost missed..."

Dad: "Shut the fuck up!, I don't want to hear it, so you gone lie to me in my face?" he cut me off.

At this point I was boiling on the inside. How he gone ask me something and then tell me that Im lying?

Dad: " You know what, I got you later." With that, he walked out the room.

I sit still and lifeless on my mattress replaying the words he just said until it's time for dinner.

While we're eating dinner my step mother walks upstairs and goes to the bathroom. On her way out one of my brothers asked If she could take the kids out to eat sometime this week.

SM: "I wouldn't mind doing things for you guys but certain disrespectful children think they're grown and deserve special treatment for doing dumb shit!" Thats the last thing I heard before I blacked out...

All I remember is my fists constantly punching her face... my dad choking me... my sisters and brothers crying... police cars... blood every where... my dad's voice saying "I will fucking kill you, bitch. Don't you ever disrespect my wife again...!"

De'Mario's POV:

I got home at about 3am faded out of my mind. I don't remember how I got here but I know the door was unlocked because I forgot my key and Im in here somehow.

Everything is all blury and I think Im hearing shit. It sound like some old people having sex. But Im not sure, cause I can only hear a female. I think my momma got some company.

On my way to my bed, I stumble into the bathroom and passout on the floor after throwing up in the toilet....

The Next Morning...

Me: "Fuuuuucck...!"

I moan as I roll over on the bathroom floor. I have the biggest headache of all, right now. I can smell the horrible scent of my puddle of vomit next to the toilet. This is some bullshit, I must have missed last night. I was fucked up.

The sun rays that are beaming through the blinds are bothering me to the highest extent. What time is it? I can't remember where my phone is because it's not in my pocket, But Im worried because the house is too damn quiet. Moms usually be up watching TV or sleep with the TV on. I can't even hear her snoring as usual.

Something, just don't feel right.

I got my ass up off that floor and checked in my moms room.

Nope. Not in there.

I checked in my room, just incase she was too high to notice it wasn't her room and fell asleep in there.

Nah, She ain't there either. Df?

"Ma!" I yelled. "MOMMA!"

Okay, now Im finna fuck some shit up. Im worried as hell. I've been paying my momma lately, every fucking day. She's been quiet lately but not this damn quiet. She don't ever just leave like this and not say nothing to me. So, Where the Fuck is my momma!?

Man, Im tripping. She's around here somewhere. Then it hit me, maybe she on the porch chilling in her rocking chair.

Just when I was about to check the porch, I came across a stench that nearly knocked me back out. It was coming from behind the couch. It smelled like fish, shit, piss, and worst of all... My mother.

My heart stopped.

I crept up a little closer to the side of the couch hoping it wasn't what I thought it was. Within the 5 seconds it took me to peek at the back of the couch, my whole life flashed before my eyes.

Then reality hit me. There she was. Sitting lifeless, hopeless, and selfless all in one. The blood had dried up on the carpet. She shitted and pissed her pants. She died here all alone. The one time she actually needed me the most, I wasn't there. This was one of those "Life & Death" situations people always talk about but never encounter. I was put to the test and fail. My momma is gone. Now, and forever. All because of me.

Im speechless, and for the first time in over a decade, I let a tear fall. After one tear, came another. Soon enough, I was crying like a little bitch. But I don't care, my fucking mom just died.

Hours past and I'm still crying. Tears are falling but No sound is coming out anymore. I can't do this. I call 911.

911: "911, What's your emergency?"

Me: "My moms is dead on the floor and I don't know what happened to her. I don't even know what to do, mann."

911: "Okay, how long has she been dead. Can you explain what happened?"

Me: "I just told you I don't fucking know, just get the ambulance over here now!"

911: "Sir, calm down. We are going to send an ambulance. What's your name?"

Me: "De'Mario,"

911: "Last name?"

Me: "Smith."

911: "Okay, De'Mario what's your address?"

Me: "827 Fifth street"

911: "We have an ambulance coming your way right now. Stay where you are and keep a look out."

Me: "Iight, Bye."

Hangs up phone...

The ambulance arrives and Im out of it. The police asked me all types of dumb ass questions that I kept giving them the same answer to. "I don't know, I don't care, Speak to my lawyer."

I followed the ambulance to the hospital and they made me sit in the waiting room. It wasn't long before the doctor came out and announced that it was nothing that they could do for her since she's been dead since before she got there. The cause of death? Drug overdose. Crack cocaine, Heroine, & Ecstasy. They believe it was suicide.

Doctor: "We tried everything that was possible, but we couldn't do much"

Me: "You good."

I just can't believe this shit. This is too much to be dealing with right now. I sat down in the waiting room and tried to fall asleep. I just felt so guilty.

I didn't even get to say goodbye...