De'Shawn's POV:

It's been a couple of weeks since D got signed. Im very proud of him because he's living the life that he wanted to but he's been partying way too much. I can't tell him to stop cause he's a grown ass man that's what he do but it's not like we could ever get the chance to have the conversation. The only time I see him is If he coming home when Im getting up.

I miss him dearly at times but it's like we don't see eye to eye anymore. He loves me and I know he does and I love him with all of me but he's changed on me. He really has. I don't get the forehead, nose, then lips kisses anymore. Every time I kiss him it's just full of lust. When he wants to show his love, he takes me out on an expensive dinner. I don't tell him that I just want to sit and chill with him at home cause he gone feel some type of way. But he dont have to get all rich on me. I like simple things, I may be a difficult girl but the simple things matter. You know?

Maybe, Im tripping.

Today I had a long day and just want to get some rest. I lay in my black Nike sports bra that had the white Nike sign on the front with No bra underneath. I have on my black Nike shorts and black Nike socks. My hairs is pulled up into a bun and Im wearing a scarf to hold it in while I sleep. I decide to scroll through my social networks before falling asleep. It's late asf and I really need to got to sleep.

When I set my phone on the nightstand and wrapped in my cover, I heard D stumbling into the front door. Im hoping and praying he just let me sleep cause Im tired and not in the mood for games tonight. His footsteps were different this time and it was starting to make make think twice about who that really is. So, I glance up at the doorway and accidentally made eye contact with this nigga.

Shit.

He grins evily and stumble into the room. I can smell the alcohol on him from 10ft away. He stands at the edge of the bed staring at me for a second and I turn to see what he's staring at. His eyes are bloodshot red and I can't help get chills. It bring back memories of when my dad was drunk when I was little. The things he would do to me will never be spoken of. I see the same lust in D's eyes right now and it's creeping me out. He sat at the edge of the bed and rubbed my leg.

D: "Hey, Baby."

Me: "Hey."

He stopped rubbing my leg and I could feel him eyes burning holes in my head.

D: "Come here."

I turn over not wanting to get up. I think getting him to lay down would be best.

Me: "Baby, come lay with me. Im tired and it's late. We need some sleep."

He didn't even move. His face twitched and jaw clenched. Those once hazel eyes were now turning black and I really didn't know what to do. I got up as quick as the thought and scooted next to him. I tried touching his face to calm him but his breathing got more aggressive.

Me: "Baby, what's wrong?"

He didn't say a word so I climbed out of bed and once his eyes were on my half naked body, he got up threw me against the wall. Tried kissing me but moving my face. He aggressively kissed on my neck and squeezed my side. I tried pushing him off of me but he grabbed tightly of my arms pressing the pressure points. I was in so much pain and just wanted him to let go.

Me: "Stop, You're hurting me!"

D: "I just wanted to make love to you baby."

He threw me on the bed and climbed on top of me.

Me: "Im not in the mood tonight, D. Im tried and you need your sleep. Now, lay down."

D: "You been fucking somebody else, huh!?"

Me: "No, Im just tired. Now, get the Fuck off of me!"

Ignorant everything I said and just continued to touch me. Pulled my sports off and threw it. A tear escape as the flashbacks of being raped and how painful it is for the love of my life doing this to me. He took my shorts and ripped my panties off. I shake in fear as he unbuckled his pants. I tried to crawl away and he grabbed my thighs and pulled me closer ramming himself inside of me. I screached in pain.

D: "Stop running. Just take it."

I just let the tears fall and fake the pleasure that he was only feeling.

After he was finished, I turned over and cried silently to myself. D went into the bathroom and threw up. He never made it back to the room but I wasn't about to move. I couldn't even sleep. All night, I stared at my sports bra on the other side of the room. Although in pain, I managed to get up and go to the downstairs bathroom and take a shower. My legs were weak and my my body was sore. I glance at my upper arms and see the bruises he had caused. I put on my blue Hollister jogging suit with my black Nike slides. I heard footsteps towards the door and my heart began pounding out of my chest.

D: "Bae, you in there?"

Me: "Ye - Yeah."

He opened the door and I damn there jumped out of my skin.

D: "Did I scare you? *chuckles* my bad, babygirl."

I squint my eyes trying to figure out why the hell he acting like that shit ain't happen last night. He pulled me in by the waist and kissed me sweetly. I wasn't feeling him this morning and he gone act like it didn't happen.

D: "What's wrong?"

I raised my eyebrow and tried to walk around him. He grabbed my arm where the bruised was at and It hurt so bad it made me mad.

Me: "Let me df go. What the hell is wrong with you?!"

He put a confused look on his face and let me go. I tried to hold back a tear from the pain.

D: "I didn't even grab you that hard."

Me: "Just leave me alone, De'Mario."

D: "So, Im De'Mario now? Bae, what did I do!?"

My eyes opened wide and studied him for a second before reading in his eyes that he had No memory of last night. Im worried about him. If he can't remember that shit, he needs help. I need to keep my distance away from this man. He got me fucked up If he think he gone party and not remember the the stupid shit he do. I just smirked and walked away shaking my head. I can't believe he can't remember that shit. That mf is crazy. I hop in my care and drive straight to the graveyard. I got to pay my cousin and Key Key a visit. Life ain't so great No more and I need to vent.

All day I spent my time talking to my loves. Eating our favorite snacks and listening to our favorite music. I miss my cousin and big Sis like it's been forever. I decided not to go to school or work today cause I need to get away for a day. I needed a breather.

De'Mario's POV:

I wonder why Shawny acting like a nigga did something to her. Shit, I woke up next to the toilet and she was gone. I probably was drinking too much and she was probably mad that I came home late again. I got a head ache out of this world and I don't even know how I got home last night.

I pick up my phone from the bottom of the stairs, I know a nigga was fucked up last night. I decided to text Shawny so she won't be mad at me when she get home.

Me: "Im sorry for coming home late last night, I hope youre not still mad at me. I love you, babygirl."

The message sent but she didn't respond. I know I fucked up but don't know what it is.

The 4th Of July...

De'Shawn's POV:

It's the fourth of July and Jr & Ari are getting married today. Eric & Mia want to get married on new years. Im happy for all of them but today is the main focus for Jr and Ari. Im the maid of honor for the both of them so I just can't help but be relieved that they're finally getting married.

Arianna's POV:

It was time for me to walk the aisle and my father, well Mr.Ray walked me down the to Jr. This was the moment I began the rest of my life with the love of my life. The pastor began to speak and I Jr took my hand. I had the veil over my eyes so I know he was urging to lift it.

Priest: "Do you Ray Devon Carr Jr wish to have Arianna Chantell James as your lawfully wedded wife?"

He looked deeply through the veil as If he could see through my soul and smile.

Jr: "I do."

Chills ran down my spine to hear those words come out of his mouth.

Priest: "Do you Arianna with to spend the rest of your life with Ray?"

Me: "I most certainly do."

The priest slowly closed the Bible and smile. Josh (Mia's Son) handed us the rings and we placed them on each others fingers.

Priest: "Mrs & Mr Carr... You may now kiss the bride."

He lifted my veil and a larger smile manage to grow in his face. We kissed deeply before realizing we were in public.

Jr: "I love you."

Me: "I love you too."

We ran off down the aisle and everyone cheered. I blew a kiss at Ray Ray cause he knows he's my life too. Jr carries me to the just married Jeep and we ride off to the hall for the reception.

De'Shawn's POV:

I ain't even gone front, I cried at that wedding. I tried not to but the tears fell anyway. D held my hand the whole time and kept kissing me on my cheek.

At the wedding reception, I was too busy trying to hide the pain I was in from last night's fight. That was the third time he came home drunk asf and didn't remember shit in the morning. After the second time I wasn't going to let him do that to me again. So I fought him last night and slept at the Graveyard. I know that sounds creepy but I didn't want to let anyone know my business but If D finds out he's doing this, it would hurt him beyond measure. I'll just make sure Eric takes him home early or monitor his drinking before it tears us apart.

I sat at the table alone and watched everyone mingle and dance. Mia came to sit next to me as D talked to Eric.

Mia: "Hey, girl. What's wrong with you?"

Me: "Nothing, just tired. That's all"

She raised an eyebrow at me cause she know Im lying. But Im not finna tell her anything. Eric and D are the best of friends not to mention first cousins so I know it's going to get to D some how.

Mia: "You lucky it's a wedding going on or I would get to the bottom of this. Whatever it is, leave it at the door. Have fun it's a wedding."

I wish it was that easy

I fake smiled and D came to sit next to me. She seen my change of mood and wouldn't take her eyes off of me. D squeezed my thigh and I bit my lip in pain. He kissed my cheek and I fake smiled.

D: "I love you"

I held back my tears and told him I loved him back. I know he loved me but he just don't know what drinking can do to a person until you're the victim. When he turn my face towards him Mia gasped and I knew she seen the bruise on my neck that I tried to hide with make up and hair. I shot her that (Don't say nothing) look and she tried to play it off.

Mia: "Bitch! I need to tell you something girl. Come here."

She got up from the table and grabbed me by the hand. She dragged me into the hallway so the two of us can talk.

Me: "Mia, what's wrong with you?"

Mia: "No, what the Fuck is wrong with you?!" She semi yelled in a whisper."

"You're not talking lately, you never come around anymore or call not even text, and now your bruised up. Shawny, Im not stupid. Is he hitting you?"

Me: "Mimi, it's not what you think."

She raised her eyebrow at me.

Mia: "Then, what is it? Cause these don't appear for No reason."

Me: "Okay, Yes he hit me but-"

She shook her head and anger grew in her eyes.

Mia: "No. Hell No! Imma -"

I snatched her back pushed her on the wall away from the view of D.

Me: "Can I at least tell you everything!? Before you kill him."

She blew a breath of frustration.

Mia: "Go ahead."

Me: "Sometimes he come home drunk and can't control himself. When I try to resist, he gets upset. But the scary part is that the next day. He can't remember shit."

Mia: "What the Hell do you me he can't remember shit?"

Me: "Exactly what I just said. Watch."

I glance over the show my body off to D. He smiles, licks his lips and bites down on the bottom one. Mia looked kinda scared If Im not mistaken.

Mia: "Im telling Eric to ge-"

I pushed her back against the wall.

Me: "No, you can't tell anyone about this. I'll tell him but I just don't know how."

Mia: "If you don't tell him by tonight, I will and Eric. Im just looking out for you Shawny."

Me: "Yeah that's easy for you to say."

I stormed away from her and sat next to D. She shook her head and joined us.

D: "What yah over there gossiping about? You was over there teasing a nigga too."

I fake smiled and Mia whispered in Eric's ear taking him to the back. I know she couldn't hold that shit in. I regret telling her ass anything. This shit just ruined my day.

De'Mario's POV:

After the reception, I went to go chill with my homies and come home early tonight. Once I got home, the lights were already out as usual and Shawny was laying in bed wrapped under the covers. I know she can't be sleep cause it's only 9:30. I began shaking her thigh and she moved.

Shawny: "Don't start, Im not in the mood tonight."

I can tell in her voice that she had been crying and I just wanna know what's wrong.

Me: "Baby, you okay?"

She nodded her head Yes and I knew If I said anything else she would start yelling. So I just sighed and changed into some basketball shorts. I tugged at the cover and she flinched. Once the I lifted the cover to get under her naked back was exposed and she had a few bruises and scratches. I grew furious.

Me: "What the Fuck is this?!"

She sniffed and remained silent.

Me: "Who is it?"

Shawny: "What?"

I snatched the cover revealing her full naked body and the rest of the bruises on her thighs and and neck. I seen the hickies in places only am allowed to go.

Me: "Don't play fucking stupid! How the Fuck-"

Shawny: "Do you really thin-"

Me: "SHUT THE FUCK UP! IM DONE, IM FUCKING DONE! I KNEW YOU WERE CREEPING BUT I TRUSTED YOU! FUCK YOU!"

I threw the cover on her and bounced without looking back. I can't believe I wasted my time with a hoe. She was only one I loved and she haven't even been real the whole time. I walked into Eric crib and asked to stay with them until I get me a place.

Eric: "Yeah, man. You can stay for however you want."

Me: "Thanks man."

Eric: "No problem. What happened?"

Me: "She been cheating on me man..."

His face scrunched up.

Eric: "With who?"

I just shrugged my shoulders.

Me: "I don't know..."

I felt a tear hit my cheek and he hugged me.

Eric: "Aye man, maybe you should go talk to her tomorrow."

Me: "Nah, Im good. She had all this time to talk but once I find all the hickies and shit. That's when she wanna explain. That just shows how loyal she is. Im fucking done. I can't believe this shit."

Eric: "Alright, well you get some sleep. I'll come Check on you in the morning."

He left me to face my demons alone. I want to hurt something but I can't help but let these tears fall. I sit there silently waiting until my ass fall asleep.

The next morning...

De'Shawn's POV:

I wake up feeling worse than before. Although my body is hurting like Hell, I manage to race to the bathroom and throw up. I been sick like this for a couple weeks now and don't know what it is. I can too much care less cause all it's doing is giving me something to help me not think about D leaving me for assuming shit. Im not hurt that he left me cause I need some space right now but sooner or later Imma be missing his ass again. I heard my phone go off and I didn't even bother to answer. At this point Im hoping Eric and them tell D cause Im not finna waste my breath on somebody who ain't wanna listen in the first place. Im trying to protect his feelings and he obviously don't give af about mine. The phone when off again and I decided to answer.

Mia: "Yeah, Bitch. You better answer this damn phone."

Me: "Look, Mimi Im not in the mood right now."

Mia: "I heard what happened last night and I already told Eric since you don't listen. Eric don't wanna tell him though. He wants Yah to talk about it."

Me: "Ain't No talking about shit. He said what he had to say."

Mia: "Okay.. & YOU didn't. So there is still something that needs to be said. There is a lot to be said."

Me: "Whatever. Im not talking to him but I got a question."

Mia: "Yeaa, okay... But wassup?"

Me: "I think Im sick. I been throwing up and shit lately and I don't know why."

Mia: "I would say you pregnant but you ain't been having sex so..."

My heart dropped and I almost let go of the phone.

Me: "Aye, I'll call you back. It gotta be somewhere."

I hung up before she could say something. I threw on some clothes and headed to Walgreens. I picked up 2 pregnancy tests and rushed back home. Once I got home I peed on both other the tests and waited. It took me all the courage I ever had in my body and glance at both of the tests.

++

++

Oh, shit... I'm pregnant..

I slid down the bathroom wall and just cried. I let them flow like waterfalls. Im not ready to be a mother and he's not ready to be a father. He doesn't even know we had sex and he doesn't love me anymore. I guess a single mom is something I'll be cause he will never know that this child is his... I hate to say it but I gotta move on.

---------------------

Shawny is pregnant...

D can't remember raping or abusing her...

Congratulations to Jr & Ari...

Sorry for the short chapter...

(DE'MARIO in MM )