De'Mario's POV

I bet you're probably wondering what happened next. I can also bet you're not going to be surprised that she tried to kill me. I never gripped a neck so tight with one hand before in my life. I made her drop whatever she had in her hand without words. Luckily, Shawny was watching from the window because I couldn't hold her for long. Did the crazy bitch get in trouble? What do you think this is, White America? Nah, what happened is she left and never shown her face again because she know what was up when I got out the hospital. Shawny seen what happened that day, but I won't allow her to get involved in my shenanigans. Her involuntary trap days are over. Might I say, she looked sexy when she was running shit with me. It made my days a lot easier. The problems only began when she stopped being my partner in crime. More like when she decided to sacrifice her life for mine to be out of prison.

Young men don't see what they have until it's gone. I was a prime example of that multiple of times. I was married and had kids. Beautiful family.. When it was taken away from me, I shut down. When I got it back, I damn near didn't want it anymore. I did all that crying and shit for me to have it back and never got it until I gave up on wanting it. So, I basically pushed it away when I got it back and it killed me. Just because of that, it'll never be the same if I was to ever get my family back.Tears were shed and hearts were torn into 2. I dissolved trust with my family and the shit makes me nothing but miserable. You don't know what you've got until it's gone.. I didn't know what I had until I didn't want it anymore and everyone else did. I'm a fucked up man. I'll admit that much. But not a day will go by that I don't regret hurting the ones I love the most. If this is how my pops died, I wish I told him that I forgive him..

It's been a week since I left the hospital and I must say, independence is your sanity and freedom. I can't walk, breathe correctly, nor can I do anything for myself. Personal shit like washing my ass and feeding myself has become impossible without someone doing it for me. They tried to send me to a nursing home, but niggas not with that shit. I'll be damned if I let them take 100% of my dignity away. At least I can keep about 10% by getting this special ass treatment in my own home. I feel less stupid. The biggest issue of all is I gets no ass. My nurse ain't no damn help. She look like one of the old white ladies on Golden Girls. If I had a wife like I'm supposed to, I'd get all of that. I'll still have 100% of my dignity because my wife would be taking care of me and all. But unfortunately, I blew that chance before it was even thought of. If I knew I would need her this much today for a situation like this.. I would have never fucked up in our relationship. I really need her at a time like this and I'll be bold if I asked for her back right now. I knew I should've kept my hoes.

I'm in a lot of pain in so many ways. Physically, emotionally, and most of all.. mentally. Karma hit me hard and I deserved it. I've been broken down, all the way down, literally. I can't get any closer to death than this. Only way I can go is up from here. Or, I'm stuck here. Bullshit, that's not happening. Being pushed around all day is like waiting for death to just come and take me away. Friends? So, they can see me like this? No, thank you. I don't think so. This is pathetic and living like this makes you not only humble, but wise. Appreciate life for what it is, cherish every blessing you have. Don't be ungrateful and do not get greedy. Damn, I just wish shit didn't have to be this way. Well, it won't be forever..

My day has been nothing but corny jokes from my nurse to try and cheer me up, and constant attempts to watch T.V. without getting upset at myself. With a flick of the power button on the remote, I found entertainment in staring at a blank screen since I would zone out and ignore my nurse's questioning me on what I wanted to do instead. Dinner is almost ready, and I'm supposed to be expecting a bath afterwards. My favorite part of the day is when I go to bed at night. All for the simple fact that I get to be alone by myself. No nurses, no reflections in the mirror, no phone calls either.. Just me. Knocking me out of my thoughts, my doorbell rang. It was unexpected, so my nurse looked at me to confirm that it was okay to answer the door.

Me : "Go ahead," I nodded. "Ask who it is, please.."She jogged to the door and opened it slightly, asking who it is. Before I could get the response from my nurse, I heard a voice I haven't heard since the day I promised to pick her up from school. "Let her in." I said staring in the direction of the door.

As my nurse stepped aside, my daughter walked into the door. In her hands she carried a cardboard Nike box. The sight of it only sparked many memories. Not only is that the box that Shawny kept her music and poems in, but it's also the box that I gave to Maria the day of the funeral. The day that I died... Maria's eyes were red as if she just finished crying and she smiled weakly. The minute she noticed that I was damn near paralyzed, she burst into tears onto my shoulder as she wrapped her arms around my neck. Her grip grew tighter the harder she cried and I almost joined her, but no tears would come. I was hurt that my princess is hurting as much as I am but I couldn't let her see me shed a tear. I already hate the fact that she has seen me like I am already.

Maria : "I'm sorry Daddy, I so sorry.." she cried and it breaks my heart that the one that deserves the apology is begging for my forgivness.

Me: "It's okay, princess. Don't cry.. I'm sorry." I apologized as she held onto me tightly and continued to cry.

Shawny : "Maria, help me get the rest of these groceries." She said waddling into the house with plastic bags in her hands. Maria stood up and walked out the door to the car. I watched as Shawny stacked up my cabinets and fridge with groceries. My nurse is confused as to what is going on but I couldn't blame her because so am I.

Me : "Whats going on, what did I miss?" I asked. Shawny smiled and walked towards me, sitting in the couch before me.

Shawny : "I'm here to make sure my children still have a father until you're able to defend yourself." She explained. "Oh, and to get rid of the nurse. That's uneccessary money when you have family who can take care of you."

Me : "But, you're pregnant.. How are you gonna help me into the tub or anything that has to do with lifting me up?" I questioned.

Maria : "That's what you have me for." Maria said while setting the bags on the kitchen counter.

Shawny : "Yeah.. and you two have something to talk about." She insisted.

Me : "About what?"I asked.

Maria : "I want to move back in.." She stated.

Me : "Shawny don't want you there or something? Is that nigga over there fucking with you?" I frowned.

Maria : "No, it's not that.This just where i need to be." She admitted.

Shawny : "I hope you didn't think that Daddy's Little Girl was going to be gone forever.." She chimed in.

Me : "She is.." I replied putting my head down. I was referring to Shawny and I think she knows that. "But, Daddy's Little Princess isnt.." I smiled a little.

Shawny left to the kitchen knowing the tension between us will only get worse. I need my wife back, I need my family.. but I can't have it right now.

Love is a powerful thing. Love'll make you do things you promised yourself that you would'nt. Love can even kill you. Sometime's I feel so strongly about Shawny that I question if I am really living. I always try and decipher fantasy from reality because lately they've become mixed up in the back of my mind as if it was meant to confuse my heart. As Shawny hands touch me. As my beloved daughter and love of my life lift me, carry me, hold me.. I feel as if these are my final days. No matter what the situation may be, right now is all that matters to me. I'm home.. I'm happy.. I feel.. I feel loved. While Shawny's soft lips blessed me a good night, a tear escapes my eye.

Shawny : "D, you okay? How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?" She asked concerningly and wiped my tear.

D : "Why are you here?" I asked her looking into her eyes. Looking for a good answer. She sighed, sat on the edge of the bed as she held her belly, and smiled lightly at me.

Shawny : "Several years ago, I made a promise to my husband.I believe it the priest said, for better or for worse, right? Through sickness and through health.."She replied. A smile managed to take over my lips and once again, I let my emotions take over. Man, Why did I lose her?