Nakatulala ako ngayon habang nakatingin sa kisame. Siguro lahat ng nangyari simula nang makasalamuha namin si Zayn nagflash back sa utak ko.

"Ang lalim naman ng iniisip mo. Dahan dahan lang Caitlyn baka malunod ka sa kaisipan mo." sabi sa akin ni Yuzu bago pitikin yung noo ko. Aray ha!

"Ano ba kasi iniisip mo? Nasa overthinking phase ka na ba in a relationship?" tanong niya sa akin at medyo natawa siya. Sinamaan ko naman siya ng tingin at bigla niyang itinikom ang bibig niya.

"Wala lang, you saw us kiss kanina sa plaza 'di ba?" tanong ko at tumango naman siya, if I could recall they even took a picture of that moment.

"Well, I think that there's some bothering him. Kanina he kept getting continues notifications from his phone and after that kiss he just suddenly took a phone call and left us." I told her and I saw how she smiled before sitting next to me and hugged me on the side.

"Napansin ko lang, hindi niyo dinedeny na in a relationship kayo. Kayo na ba? Hindi naman kami magagalit, and it's not surprising since sabi mo gusto mo na magcommit." she said not giving any comment to what I said earlier.

"No, we're not together but I think we like each other. And I wouldn't also be surprised kapag galit kayo since sa hindi gaanong kakilala pa ako naglagusto? Ewan, di rin ako sure! Basta feeling ko gusto ko siya at vice versa." I told her and she laughed at me.

"We wouldn't be mad, Caitlyn. Besides mukha naman siyang matinong lalaki. And you'll get to know him more especially he's coming with us sa Pagudpud. Kung gusto mo isama mo na rin siya sa Puerto Galera eh." biro niya at agad naman akong napatingin sa kanya. Pwede nga ba? KUNG PWEDE GAGAWIN KO!

"I don't like that look, Caitlyn." biglang sumulpot sa likod ni Yuzu si Yuki. "Hindi ako tutol sa inyo ni Zayn but are you serious? Are you even sure about him?" tanong ni Yuki and I shook my head.

"Hindi ako sigurado pero alam kong handa akong iparamdam na gusto ko siya at kilalanin siya ng lubos." I answered her at bigla naman akong nakarinig ng mabagal na palakpak. I looked behind them and I saw Azaleah.

Seriously, bakit need nilang isa isang pumasok sa kwarto? Ano 'to telenovela?

"Dalaga na ang Caitlyn niyo, I'm proud. Basta 'wag mong uubusin sarili mo." payo ni Azaleah at tumango na lang ako. Us four hugged each other before I got up and wore Zayn's jacket and decided to go out and find him. I am really worried kasi parang dahil sa isang tawag o text parang binagsakan siya ng isang daang problema ng mundo.

Pumunta ako sa hotel room niya at inabot ako ng napaka raming katok pero walang sumasagot. Siguro wala siya dyaan, saan naman napunta yung lalaki iyon? I tried calling his phone but he wasn't reachable, naka-off siguro cellphone niya.

He's definitely avoiding something, nasaan na ba yung lalaking 'yon? I sat down on the ground and looked at my watch, it was already 10:45pm and marami pa namang budok budol sa labas. I sat there looking at nowhere hanggang sa maka-idlip ako.

"Ma'am?" nagising ako sa tawag ng isang hotel staff. "Bakit po kayo nandyaan ma'am?" tanong niya sa akin at tumayo ako ng maayos. "That's not important. By chance have you seen the person staying here in this hotel room?" tanong ko sa kaniya at agad tumango naman siya.

"Ay oo nga po pala ma'am, kayo po ba ang kasintahan niya? Ayun, nasa bar sa rooftop nagpapakalasing. Puntahan niyo na po at nako baka kung ano pang mangyari sa kaniya." sambit nito sa akin at ngumiti ako bago humingi ng salamat.

Agad ko naman inayos ang sarili ko at pumunta sa elevator. I clicked on the highest floor for the rooftop at pagkabukas ng pintuan ay naamoy ko agad ang alak at narinig ang lakas ng speakers dito.

Grabe may mga natutulog na ah? O baka hindi nila rinig sa baba 'yung tunog?

Agad kong nilibot ang tingin ko hanggang sa makita ko si Zayn na umiinom sa gilid. He looks so sad, has he been crying while getting wasted?

Hindi ko muna siya nilapitan instead I observed him from afar. He looks so hurt and tired, pero one thing I'm sure is that he's not like the other boys when they get drunk and high. Most boys rage and let out anger, but him, he's still calm and composed while drinking. He's still cautious of what he's doing and what he's going to do.

I smiled weakly before walking towards him at agad niya naramdaman presensya ko. He looked at me in my eyes and this is the first time I saw those kind of eyes. It was weak, tired, and stressed. He looks so vulnerable right now so I did what I think would help him.

I hugged him tightly. At first he didn't gave a reaction not after a few minutes. Niyakap niya rin ako ng mahigpit na tila ayaw niya na akong mawala. He was hugging my waist and his face was buried just bellow my chest. That's because he is sitting down while I was standing up.

After 10 minutes of doing that, I sat down next to him and held his cheek with one of my hands and gave him a warm smile.

"What happened Zayn?" I asked softly and his tears started flowing slowly at awang awa na ako sa kanya. This was the first time I have ever seen him this vulnerable talaga. Ibang iba sa confident, mayabang, straight forward na Zayn ba nakilala ko sa bus.

I wanted to hug him more, kiss him. Kiss every inch of his face until all the problems he is facing fade away. But I'm not his girlfriend, and he's not my boyfriend... yet? We're kinda on the same level of motives so I know we'll get together? But for now we'll stay label less relationship.

He didn't answer me so I forced him to look at me and sighed before telling what's exactly running on my mind. "Tough times are here for a reason, you'll overcome everything, my love." I told him without stopping. He looked at me with a confused with a hint of anger at first. I shouldn't have called him my love!

OH MY GOD CAITLYN NICOLE!! Ang tanga lang. Wala naman kayo, why are you suddenly calling him love?!

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you-" hindi natapos ang sasabihin ko nang magsalita siya.

"Don't call me love, It's the call sign me and my ex fiancee had..." he said slowly and I was silent. That was a really wrong thing to do! He looked puzzled when I turned to him so I was debating whether or not I should leave. I was about to go back to our hotel room when he held my left wrist. "... call me bab," he said which shocked me. Bab? Saan naman nanggaling 'yon?

And why do I have to call him that? It's not like we're together or anything. Hindi nga kasi namin pinagusapan pa yan kasi one, 3 days pa lang kami magkakilala and two, we don't have time to talk about that while spending time together. We seize every moment and enjoy. Let's say we're carefree?

"Bab? Where did that came from?" I asked and he smiled before pulling me close to him and he kissed my forehead. "I don't know, I think it's cute. Plus you look like a baby, minus the Y you're my bab." he explained with his drunk or tipsy voice. Hindi ako sigurado kung lasing na ba siya or tipsy lang. Hard to tell kasi he still has a composed self and yet he sounds drunk.

"Okay bab, do you mind telling me what happened?" he looked doubtful if he was going to tell me the problem or not but after a few minutes he talked.

"My sister died, my mom has a severe medical condition."

With one sentence I felt the emotions filling me up. Now I get why he's getting drunk. Pero ano pang ginagawa niya dito? Shouldn't he be there for his mom.

"I know what's running on your mind. Bakit hindi ko puntahan? Ang yaman ko bakit hindi ko tulungan? Well, I can't. My father and mother are separated. I was stuck with my rich father while my mom and my sister is there in Arizona without any help. My father only sends $3000 dollars a month to them and that's not even enough to cover up the bills and my mom's medical condition."

He stopped for a moment and drank the another shot, "last na yan ha. I don't want you to get dehydrated." I whispered before wiping his sweat from his forehead with my handkerchief.

Tumango siya before continuing, "My dad don't want me to go there without his permission or simply without him. Baka daw kasi bigla akong tumakas at tumira kasama ang nanay at kapatid ko with his money. He can keep the money for all I care is that I keep my mom and sister healthy. My father was a nice man at first, but when he got married again he changed. He was never in the house well not for long. He just gives me money and that's it." he told me and I just sat there and placed my chin onto his shoulder before holding his left hand.

"As much as I want to go to Arizona right now my cards would be cut off once my father gets a notification seeing I spent money on a flight. I'll probably get disowned or worse abused again." he had a long pause kaya umayos ako ng upo and he leaned his head onto me and closed his eyes trying to relax.

"My sister died because someone shot her..." paninimula niya and I was speechless. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko. "Sorry." I told him and he smiled, another weak one.

"It's okay, it's not your fault. That's why I am a 24 year old man that is in 2nd year in law school that wants to become a licensed lawyer to have justice for crimes that haven't got one. I want to serve justice for them." he told me and I smiled before giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

"Keep going, bab. You'll reach your dreams, and I believe in everything you do." I told him which painted a smile on his face.

There's the smile. The genuine smile.

"Let's go na, pahinga na tayo. We still have a long drive tomorrow to pagudpud!" I said to him excitingly and he laughed before standing up and pulling me to the elevator.

It was a kinda a long way down and we were both looking at each other intently until one of us broke. He leaned it to kiss me and this time it wasn't just a quick kiss.

It was a long and passionate kiss that tastes like alcohol but I'm willing to get drunk on it every single day.

"Do you know that I like you, Caitlyn? I know this is a really fucked up question but it has been running on my mind since tonight. I want you to be my girlfriend and from that we'll take it slow."

WHAT THE FUCK?

Drunk words are sober thoughts, I guess?