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Laurence leaned his back against the bed's headboard as he opened the black, hardbound notebook to the first page.

It was the sixteenth of January 2024. Early evening of Tuesday. Work had not been as hectic as yesterday. He had been able to go home earlier than usual and to rest his mind, so he thought he would take the chance to continue reading Florence's journal.

As soon as his gaze fell upon the first entry of the second notebook, a sad smile ghosted Laurence's lips.

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July 5, 2021

I need space. I need to step back. I feel like I can't breathe anymore. It's suffocating. I want to go far far away. In a place where no one can find me. I want to shut myself off from the rest of the world. I don't want to deal with any kind of human interaction at the moment.

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July 18, 2021

I'm tired of everything. I just want to collapse. I wanna escape this life.

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August 15, 2021

Something curious happened this week. We've finally met the new CEO who's said to have absorbed the old company and turned it into the main office of the ND Corporation. He's very young, just a year older than me. That's not the most interesting part though.

It's that I realized he was that same senior from high school who used to interact with plants in the garden, that weird but interesting one. I can't be wrong about it because of his green eyes, I love the color, btw, and the two little moles beside his right eye.

I learned he left NISP to continue his studies abroad. They said he'd accomplished a lot of feats while he was still in school, that he'd been planning to overthrow his father in business since he was in the university.

Some people may think he was a terrible son for doing that to his own father, but if his father never treated him the way a son should be treated, then I actually admire him for having the courage to do that. And honestly, I kind of envy him. I wish I could be brave enough to stand up to my controlling father too. Instead, I'm just a coward who's afraid of him.

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Laurence jolted, straightening his back, while his heart hammered against his chest. Wide-eyed, he concentrated on the first paragraph of the long entry. He gripped the edges of the notebook as he began to doubt if he was still too mentally exhausted, what with his brain playing a trick on him right now.

But no matter how long he pored over a certain page, the texts written on it, as well as his comprehension of them, did not change.

The drumming in his chest persisted. Mixed images of a meek teenage boy and a reserved grown-up man in his early adulthood darted like reels at the back of his mind as he zeroed in on a few particular phrases on the paper.

New CEO. Green eyes. Two little moles. There wasn't even a need for a name to know who was being referred to.

Laurence fixed his vision on the one clause that had stunned him the most. He was that same senior from high school who used to interact with plants in the garden.

Even when he'd first read about this mysterious student from Florence's story and learned that they had gone to the same high school, it had never occurred to Laurence that the person could have been an acquaintance. It might be because he'd nearly forgotten about his so-called school friends that they never crossed his mind. He just didn't consider it worth it to give a hang about the people who'd abandoned him when he'd been at the lowest point of his life.

He might not already have a distinct memory of his close schoolmates' faces, but it was still clear in his mind how none of them had ever cared enough to see him and ask how he'd been during and after his hospital stay. Every single one of them had left just when he'd desperately needed them. Every single one, including that boy who was originally named Isaac Leonard Fahlgren.

Had we actually been close enough with each other though? Were we even friends?

He remembered they had a few encounters and conversations in the campus, but he was not sure how Isaac had ever viewed him. Chances were, that boy from more than a decade ago had only thought of him as a busybody schoolmate.

Laurence's gaze drifted to the first sentence of the second paragraph. Those were words that explained the matter, which had been confusing him for a long time.

Why did Isaac suddenly disappear from Perlientas?

He now had the answer, but it also brought out another question.

Why was he back?

Laurence flipped to the next page, hoping one of Florence's notes could shed light on the subject. Expectedly, the entries for the following months were mostly about the guy's dark thoughts about life and a few about the actual events at the job.

Just when Laurence was convinced there was nothing in Florence's journal that could help him understand his curiosity about Isaac, the young CEO's name came up again. However, it was not an entry that Laurence had anticipated.

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November 21, 2021

Father wanted me to get on Mr. Ruiz's good side by seducing him. He'd always sneered at the idea of me being gay, but this time he told me to put my "abnormality" to use. I don't know where he'd gotten the info or if it's even true, but apparently Mr. Ruiz is also the same as me, who's into men.

I know father has always been disappointed in me, and he's never even tried to hide it since I was young. That's exactly why I'd chosen to live away from him the first thing I got the chance. Even though I kinda felt bad for leaving Mom alone with that man. At least, he never really abused Mom. It was just me he didn't like. I've been trying to avoid him in the main office too as much as possible, and it's a good thing we're from different departments, but I don't understand why... he just won't leave me alone, and he still tries to have some control of my life as if I'm a mere puppet to him.

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December 3, 2021

So I actually tried to make some advances to Mr. Ruiz last night when I caught him alone at the company get-together. Not because I want to. Not because of what my father told me to do. It was because I was drunk and stupid. Maybe also because I was damn frustrated and was looking for an outlet. My idiot brain thought maybe I could do it just to blow off steam, and of course, I got shot down pretty quickly in the end.

But, something... well, for the lack of a better word, "good" actually came out of it. Mr. Ruiz may not have any qualms about rejecting me, but he also told me some considerate words, which I could never expect to hear from my own father, even in my dreams.

He told me, non-verbatim, "Respect yourself, at least, if no one's going to do that for you. You seem to be a nice guy, and there's nothing wrong with that, but don't let it become the grounds for others to manipulate you. Don't let anyone disrespect you, not even your own family or yourself. Because no one deserves that."

That honestly caught me off guard because I've always assumed the boss was an unfeeling person who'd only ever cared about his company and not its people.

I also learned that even though he'd indeed slept with other men before when he was in university, it had always been casual sex for him, with no strings attached. And that there's only one person he's ever really loved. Dang, who'd have thought he could be that... what's the right word? A hopeless, and maybe helpless, romantic?

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The couple of revelations gave rise to different emotions inside Laurence. His heart went to Florence for the way his father had regarded him. While it might not be a surprising discovery, his preparedness for it did nothing to lessen the bitterness that hit Laurence.

All this time, he'd thought he was one of the most unfortunate human beings on Earth because of all the terrible things that had fallen upon him. But within the few months of assuming Florence's life, his view gradually shifted. To a degree, he might have been luckier than a lot of other people.

His family might have been taken away from him too soon, but in those short years he'd spent with them, not once had his parents shunned him for having a different preference. Not once had his father deemed or made him feel like he was a defective product.

His mom and pops had fully accepted him for what and who he was, even when he'd come out to them about being bisexual. They did not ask any more inappropriate questions when he had admitted he could also get attracted to the guys. In fact, his parents had acted like they had known all along and were just waiting for him to open up. That experience alone should have been enough to say he'd been more fortunate than those whose family was still complete, but always felt suffocated around them.

Laurence moved on to the entry on the right side of the notebook, which highlighted more of Isaac. His growing dismay with the man diminished, and a sense of satisfaction swelled in his chest as he went over Florence's story about the young boss's good side.

Despite his constant irritations with Isaac since he saw him again after a long time, Laurence still believed what Florence recounted in his journal. He could easily imagine the young CEO saying those words to others. Because this trait was closer to the Isaac he'd known.

The man had always been a person of few words, even when they were younger, although Isaac's quietness used to be attributed to his inhibition instead of his authoritativeness, like at the present. Still and all, Laurence had seen him as someone with a gentle and strong spirit behind his diffidence.

He had thought those positive qualities had been corrupted off Isaac since becoming the boss of a corporation. But after learning how he'd behaved toward Florence in that situation, hope grew in Laurence that maybe, just maybe, that young lad he'd been familiar with did not completely change after all.

For a couple of seconds, Laurence's eyes lingered on a particular part of the entry before proceeding to the last paragraph. As the few sentences sank in, he mused, 'The only one he's ever loved? Is this person here in Perlientas? Could be the reason he came back here.'

Knowing none of the words would give him an answer even if he stared at them all night, Laurence continued through the journal and wished more of the truth would turn up from it.

And as usual, the pages were riddled with sad viewpoints, heart-rending quotes, and vents about the people around Florence.

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December 9, 2021

Still, I'm confused about everything in my life. It's not getting any better anytime. Nothing. Not my career. Not my relationship with people. Not my general life. So what am I supposed to do?

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December 21, 2021

Why did you not quit when you had a chance? You could have, but you didn't. Why do you keep moving on, going forward even if you've always felt like you're lost? Why are you still here? Why do you still live? You're tired, aren't you? So why do you still keep fighting?

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January 6, 2022

I've always felt like Mr. Frias doesn't like me that much, and it's become even more apparent since the rumor about me and Mr. Ruiz broke out. Pretty sure he's aware it's not true, but maybe it bothers him more than it does us because he never likes anything that can get in the way of anyone's duties at the workplace. He doesn't like it when younger workers dilly-dally. He takes his job very seriously, after all. Sometimes he's even stricter than the actual boss. Though I find him a bit biased when Warren is concerned. I often hear him commend the guy's work. Never mind if Warren has a terrible attitude.

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January 12, 2022

Tired of people. Father just won't stop gaslighting me. I don't know what's Warren's problem with me, and I can't understand why Mr. Frias keeps taking his protege's side and can't see Warren's unpleasant personality. Most of my coworkers are idiots who only know how to fabricate stupid stories about others.

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Laurence shut the notebook, deciding to give his mind a quick rest. He closed his tired eyes and rubbed them with his fingers. When he realized that his mouth had become dry, he got off the bed to get some water in the kitchen.

He pulled open the door of his room and almost jumped when the small figure of Camila greeted him.

"Mom," he blurted out, the word rolling off of his tongue a lot easier than the first time he'd uttered it.

The older Villena woman did not respond soon. She blinked, looking as if she too had been startled. After a few more seconds, she said, "Oh, I was just about to get you so we can have dinner."

Laurence smiled, remembering his own mother at her. "Thanks, Mom. I'm just about to come down too."