I had never been camping before, because no one in my family was really an outdoor person. We never went to the beach or to the mountains, for the same reason. Our vacations consisted mostly of cruises, or weekends in expensive hotels. Not that I ever complained, I just didn't know what to expect when we got to the campgrounds.

We argued about what we wanted to do first, for a while. There was a place on the map called "Hammock Land," which Ben found intriguing, probably because it required the least physical activity.

"We don't have to do anything!" He said. "We can just enjoy each other's company.""

"Ben," Chet said seriously, because he always called people by their names and had a solemn disposition, "We enjoyed each other's the company the whole ride here."

"I didn't, because I was driving."

"You were driving?"

"I can just leave you here, Garrett, if that's what you want."

"I'm good. This place is almost as mosquito invested as my house." It was a running joke that Garrett's house was mosquito infested. He rarely invited us over, but he hosted his birthday over the summer, and we all left that night with itchy, swollen red marks on our arms and legs.

"You know, if you have a bug problem, my dad's an exterminator," Chet said, because he hadn't been there.

"Why don't we go canoeing?" I suggested, always the peacemaker. I didn't know much about camping, but I had been canoeing once before, on a trip to Alaska. My brother and I went in circles for a solid hour and a half, but I liked to think that was his fault, and not mine. k

"Canoeing," Jose nodded vigorously. "That sounds like something everyone would enjoy."

"Can we go back to the cabin to take showers first?" Of course London would ask that, even though she appeared just as perfectly groomed as she had that morning. Despite her unusually pale skin, London was still very pretty, with her natural, bleach blonde hair and tiffany blue eyes. She complained about being fat, since she didn't have a stick-thin figure, but she possessed curves that guys drooled over and girls were jealous of.

"Come on, we came all the way here. Let's do something!" Ben said. "I don't care what. Canoeing is a good idea."

"Thanks, Ben."

"No problem." I was excited by the possibility of canoeing, because I had just gotten a new phone for my birthday last month, with a high quality camera. I hadn't been anywhere interesting enough to photograph, so the camera roll was still empty. I loved taking pictures, even though my friends hated it when I ruined the moment to ask them to stop and pose.

"Okay. Let's do it. Let's go canoeing," Jose said, as though he were trying to come to turns with it. "But before we do that, let's just check out the cabins. We can put our phones away?"

"Put our phones away?"

"Remember? We agreed that since there isn't really any good service out here, we might as well just put them away. And then we can enjoy each other's company," Jose added, looking pointedly at Ben.

"Don't put this on me," he said. "I don't remember agreeing to leave my phone in the cabin. That doesn't sound like me."

"It really doesn't. And I don't remember that conversation either," I said.

"I didn't take off of work just to listen to you guys argue," Sophie said, relating everything back to her job in the strangest ways.

"Are you really thinking about work right now?"

"Yeah, and how I could be with Rowan."

"Pseudo obsessive friend crush," Garrett noted, eyeing me, and I started laughing, comforted that I wasn't the only one.

"Is not!"

"Okay, everyone hand me their phones. I'll bring them back to the cabin, and you guys can get ready to go canoeing." After Chet barked his orders out of all of us, I could tell Jose wanted to ask him who put him in charge. "I'm an eagle scout," Chet explained, which made so much sense. "So I can sort of take the lead around here, if you guys will let me." Ben exploded in hysterics, and Chet seemed confused. "Why is that funny?"

"It's just perfect." I started laughing too, but only because Ben found it so amusing.

"Do you have one of those vest things with all the buttons on it?" I asked. Even I couldn't resist poking fun at Chet every now and then.

"I mean, yeah."

"That's just... great," Ben finished, because he was struggling to put his overwhelming emotions into words. "You're a boy scout."

"Eagle scout."

"Is boy scout, like, demeaning to you? Can I call you a man scout?"

"No."

"You heard what he said." Jose backed him up, vying for second in command since Chet had apparently staged a takeover. "Give him your phones." He was met with sighs of reluctance, but most everyone reached into their back pockets to retrieve them.

"I didn't bring mine," Sophie said, looking suspicious because she was lying.

"Sophie," Chet reasoned with her, making overly intense eye contact. "Come on. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way." He took his new position as leader like everything else he did: very seriously.

"Is everyone- are we- are you guys not even joking right nw?"

"He's right, you wouldn't have service out here anyway."

"I still like having it! It's my security blanket."

"We're going canoeing, remember?"

"Ugh, whatever," she said, drawing out her words longer than necessary to make a point about how inconvenienced she was.

"I really don't have mine." Chet gave me a long look, and I couldn't tell if he was thinking about trusting me, or thinking about frisking me.

"Did anyone see her use it in the car?" They shook their heads. I hadn't, in attempt to conserve battery life, and since I was with all the people I normally texted, anyway. I had a very tight knit social circle which didn't extend far beyond the main group members.

"Okay, well... I have everyone else's. If anyone sees Penny using her phone...."

"What? What are we going to do?" Sophie pressed, still bitter from having to relinquish her Android.

"Glare at her until she feels guilty," Garrett finished. I'm glad he did, considering I didn't know where Chet was going, but it probably involved a crowbar and a sedative.

"I'm going to bring the rest of these back. You can get ready, but don't start without me."

"We're sharing a canoe, right?" London asked sweetly.

"Of course." Chet started trekking towards the cabins, with a pile of smartphones in his hand. Anyone who saw him would figure he had just robbed a Best Buy, not that a group of teenagers decided to separate from their electronics for a weekend. The moment he turned away, everyone else started partnering up.

"Eva," Garrett said, and I was so glad he did.

"What?" She replied, sassily.

"Come on, we'll get a canoe ready."

"Okay," she relented, because as frustrated as she was, she really did want to make up with him. I hoped he had a good apology planned. They went off with each other, without even waiting for us.

"No offense, Ben, but I can't get in a canoe with you," Sophie said. He seemed deeply wounded by her announcement:

"Why not?"

"I don't believe you would be able to resist flipping it over. It's just too tempting. At the very least, you would rock it back and forth, and make me feel like you were going to tip it over."

"That really doesn't sound like me..."

"Remember when we went to the fair? And we were on the ferris wheel? At the top? I'm not making that mistake again."

"Whatever. I don't even care," which made it obvious that he did. "Penny will ride with me. Won't you, Penny?"

"Yeah sure," I said, absentmindedly. I really didn't care, as long as I got a shot of the evergreens hanging above the glassy blue water. I loved the silence on the campgrounds, that is, when my friends weren't shouting over each other; it was almost deafening, because the lack of noise ringing in my ears. One day, I wanted to go there by myself, and just bring a camera and a sketchpad. I wasn't an artist, but an environment like that might have inspired me to be one. I had the same feeling about nature as I had about museums: they were meant to be enjoyed in solitude.

The canoes were housed in a wooden dock, by the lake. It took an incredible amount of strength for me to lift one of the narrow boats up and drag it to the edge of the sand. Ben was, of course, incredibly useless.

"Here let me help you," Jose said, when he saw I was struggling. He hauled the stern (Stern? Was that even the correct term? The further along we were getting in the process, the more I realized I knew absolutely nothing about canoeing) to the edge of the water, where we were waiting for Chet before we pushed off.

"Is the person who weighs more supposed to go in the front, or the back?" I asked, thinking about how Ben weighed at least hundred pounds more than me, and even that was a little generous.

"I don't know. Let me google it- oh wait," Sophie mouthed off, and probably would've continued, until she noticed that Chet wasn't around to get offended.

"Chet would probably know," London offered.

"I think it's the back," Ben said, although he didn't seem entirely confident. "That means I should probably go in the back.... Just kidding, you get in first, Penny." I wasn't comforted by their lack of knowledge, but I gingerly placed my left foot inside the canoe, anyway. I was afraid I was going to slip and fall into the water, and I hadn't brought my curling iron to redo my hair if it got destroyed.

"Okay, okay," I muttered, as I lowered myself, and squealed a little when I sat down in a wet pile of water. I was glad I was wearing old nike shorts and a state university t-shirt. I rarely dressed casually, but even I understood that camping wasn't a fashionable affair.

"Okay. You good, Penny?" Ben started sitting down before I responded to his question. The boat rocked when he got inside of it, and I tightly gripped the sides with both hands.

"You're not really going to tip it over, are you?"

"No, I can't. I have my phone in my pocket," he said, with a mischievous glimmer in his dark eyes. His best feature was his long eyelashes, which any girl would have been jealous of. It was a shame they were wasted on him. He had likely never even noticed.

"How'd you get through security?"

"I brought my old flip phone, from like, the 90's or something. That's what I gave him. He couldn't make any comments about it, because he has a nokia."

"I had a nokia... when I was nine."

"Right?" Ben snorted.

Sophie and Jose had gotten in a canoe together, and looked like they were itching to push off. London was still standing on the shore, waiting for Chet.

"Can you put this up for me?" Jose stood up and took off his belt, which rocked their canoe. Sophie released a sharp, piercing scream.

"Sit down!"

"It's Louis Vuitton. I don't want to get it wet." Jose usually wasn't particularly knowledgeable about clothing brands, and I doubted he could afford Louis Vuitton; he was just hyper, and trying to mess with Sophie. Jose did a lot of strange things when he had excess vivacity. I saw an empty Monster on his seat in the car, which was never a good sign. For someone who was already ADHD, he consumed an inordinate amount of energy drinks. I did, too; I had a 5 hour energy shot every day, and was insufferable before I "drank my personality" that morning. I did it because I didn't like the taste of coffee, or the way I interacted with people if I didn't.

"Why would we get wet?"

"If we flip over." He tossed his belt to London, who tucked it in his Sperrys, which he had taken off and left on the dock.

"I don't want to flip over!"

"Uh, that's sort of a risk you have to take, when you go canoeing." In that moment, I appreciated Ben as my canoeing partner, because even though he seemed like the kind of incredibly obnoxious person who would take great delight in drenching his friends, he was far too concerned about the state of his Justin Bieber haircut.

"I've made a terrible mistake," Sophie gazed at me with a pleading expression. I shrugged,

"You live and you learn."

"We're going to have a great time, I can tell. Have you done this before?"

"Once."

"Okay, we're going to go in circle."

"How do you know that?" I exclaimed defensively.

"Because I know you, Penny. And no offense, but your fine motor skills are lacking." It was true. I thought it had something to do with being homeschooled once, but Chet was the opposite. I didn't learn how to tie my shoes until I was 11, or how to ride a bike until I was 14. "You might be good at something like this if you practiced, but you don't pick up things very quickly. Again, no offense." Arguing was pointless, considering the truth behind his accusations. "Did you go in circles the last time you did this?"

"Yeah, but, it was my brother's fault."

"Sure."

"Okay," Chet sprinted up to the dock, and engulfed London in an enormous hug. She started giggling, and I wondered how Chet was such a considerate boyfriend, since this was his first relationship. He seemed a little out of breath from the run. I wondered briefly how much physical finesse boy scouts actually required, or if they just sat around in a campfire circle tying different kinds of knots, and occasionally helping old people across the street. Was Up his favorite movie? Or was he upset by the Wilderness Explorers' blatant imitation of his own precious organization?

"Why are you sitting in the front, Ben? The smaller person is supposed to sit in the front."

"What?"

"It doesn't matter. Whatever. I'm sure you guys will be fine." I've learned since that if anyone those words are said, you should remove yourself from your current situation.

"Did you just say that the smaller person is supposed to be in the front?"

"Well, yeah, they should be, but it doesn't really matter. You should also be wearing life jackets." Chet had buckled his own oversized orange flotation device around his chest.

"I thought you were supposed to be a stickler for the rules," Sophie reminded him.

"If they want to switch, they can switch. But I just figured they wouldn't want to switch."

"Oh, so now you care about other people's feelings?" Sophie hostility was really getting out of hand, and I could tell by London's face that we were going to hear about it in the cabin later.

"It was just a phone, okay Sophie? Calm down." She hated being told to calm down more than she hated being unable to check her instagram feed, but she bit back whatever insult I knew was running through her head.

"We're all in the same boat," I told her, and everyone groaned, even Jose, who usually appreciated my puns.

"Actually, we're in four different boats." I glanced up at Chet to see if he was grinning, and he wasn't. "Where are Eva and Garrett?"

"They already took off," Jose informed him.

"I told them to wait."

"I think they had some things to talk about." I lifted the single-bladed paddle warily, aware of the great power it yielded. Chet helped London into their canoe, and I heard him telling her,

"Just let me paddle, okay?"

"I want to help!"

"You can help by sitting their and looking pretty while I do all the work." I was glad Jose and Sophie had started drifting away, because Sophie's inner feminist would have taken offense.

"Easy enough," London giggled, not reading into the sexist undertones behind his words.

"Push us off," I told Ben, and he used his oar to drift our boat into the water. I dipped my own paddle in, surprised by how heavy the water felt underneath it. We were going so slowly at first, that Jose and Sophie started circling us.

"Race?" Jose called out to us, his already loud voice magnified by the surrounding silence.

"Sure," Ben said, and hit the side of their canoe with his paddle.

"Don't provoke them," I said, right as Jose was hitting back, and before I knew it, the two boys were in a paddle war.

"Stop," Sophie whined, stretching out her words again. She was originally from Seattle, Washington, but somehow, she always managed to sound like a valley girl. I subtly removed my phone from my pocket, and snapped a photograph of the shoreline, the high definition making me smile.

"Yeah, cut it out. You guys are messing up my shot." Ben fake gasped, dramatically.

"You have your phone! I cannot believe you. People like you deserve to be locked up for good," he shook his head, and clicked his tongue. "I would never do something so incredibly despicable."

"Okay, quit it with the sarcasm. Garrett and I have a monopoly on that for a reason." Jose was still messing around, and somehow, he had convinced Sophie to join him. Maybe she was getting in the spirit of themes, inspired by his unrelenting enthusiasm. They were repeatedly ramming our canoe with their own, and water was pouring in every time the sides hit the water. Ben tried to stabilize it with his hands, but in one swift motion, so quickly I can barely remember it, the entire boat flipped upside down.

I couldn't breath, I wasn't wearing a lifejacket, and there was 110 pounds on my head, but my only thought was, my phone! I did a mental check to make sure I was still grasping it, and I was, but somehow in my panic, my hand let go. That moment when I powerlessly opened my eyes in the saltwater and watched it drop until I couldn't see it in the murkiness still ranks as one of the most genuinely desperate and disappointing moments of my life.

I swam to the left, ducking under the cover of the canoe, and came up for air.

"YOU JERKS!" I yelled, breathlessly, mouthfuls of water sputtering everywhere. I grabbed the bottom of the canoe so I wouldn't fall back under as I screamed obscenities at my friends. "YOU FUCKING JERKS. I HATE YOU." I knew I sounded ridiculous, but I had never been more angry with them. Jose and Sophie were just staring blankly at me, in confusion. I decided to make things a little more clear for them: "I HAD MY PHONE WITH ME. YOU ARE SUCH FUCKING JERKS. I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH." I waited a moment, and then I added, "FUCK!" for good measure. Realization dawned on Jose's face and he said,

"Oh, man. I didn't know. I am so sorry. I screwed up." Sophie didn't say anything.

Ben was gripping the canoe on the other side, and he held up his phone, which was in waterproof case, proudly. "I'm gonna have to take this to get fixed because I had the hole where you put headphones in open. But otherwise, she should be fine." He seemed relatively calm, for someone who had just experienced a life threatening situation. He even looked like he was about to laugh, at my pain.

Chet stood up in his canoe with London, jumped overboard, and started swimming towards me. When he reached our overturned canoe, he said,

"Are you okay?"

"NO!" I yelled in his face, which he probably didn't deserve. "DO I LOOK OKAY?"

"Hold on," he said, like he was going to handle me later. "Ben, help me flip it over."

"Why?"

"Because we have to get back to land. Why am I explaining this to you? Just help me, please." Then he turned back to me, and stared directly into my eyes. I mentioned he had an intense gaze before, but did I also say that his eyes were endless black voids? I got lost in them, and not in a romantic way. Just literally lost, because they were so dark, it was like you couldn't find your way out.

"It's going to be okay." He even went so far as to grab my hand, and that combined with the intense eye contact left me feeling very confused. "You're going to be okay. It's going to be fine. Okay? We've got this. It's going to be okay."

"Okay," I nodded, not really believing him, but wanting to trust the boy who was turning out to be my hero.

Ben grabbed one side of the canoe, and Chet grabbed the other. They counted to three, and then flipped it back over, which was a surprisingly difficult task, since we couldn't stand in the fifteen foot deep water.

"Thanks for being cooperative," he told Ben. Ben, who was relatively unshaken by all the events of the past three minutes, snorted in reply. The canoe was filled halfway up with water, but I was already soaked anyway, so it didn't make a difference when Chet hoisted me back in.

"Do you still have the paddle?" He asked.

"Yep, right here," Ben pulled it seemingly out of nowhere. "I'm just going to swim back to shore."

"I can do that too," I said, not knowing what Chet was planning next.

"No, Penny, I'm going to row you back," he said, getting himself into the other side. "Are you sure, Ben? You can sit in the middle."

"I really don't mind."

"It's a long way."

"Okay, then, in that case, I do mind." We let Ben sit in the middle, which left the whole canoe off balance, but Chet seemed equipped to handle it.

"Do you want me to help row?"

"Please, don't. I got this."

"Good. Because I still don't know how." He started paddling us back to shore, and Ben and I must have looked so useless. Everyone else did too, since they were standing their in shock. Jose was the first to collect himself, and he started apologizing profusely again. Their boat was rowing towards the shore also, because nothing could possibly top what had just happened, so canoeing was over for the day.

"I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. I'm sorry, Penny." And I couldn't believe he was saying "I'm sorry" to me, after I had just cursed him out and told him I hated him, so I automatically felt terrible.

"It's fine, Jose." I was careful to never say "it's okay, Jose", or I would risk sounding like I was making a joke. "I forgive you." I was known to lose my temper in the heat of the moment, but I could never hold a grudge. In fact, I had to remind myself to stay angry with my friends, when they had done something truly horrible. I directed all my resentment towards Sophie, since she still had yet to apologize.

"I'll buy you a new phone," he said sincerely, although I doubted he actually would, if it came to that.

"It's okay. You don't need to do that. But thank you." We reached the shore, and Chet got out first, then extended his hand to help me. We had more than enough physical contact already, but my shaky legs actually needed help, so I accepted. Then, he led me to a bench by the dock, where I sat down and contemplated my new phoneless existence.

Sophie looked despondent, staring hopelessly off into the distance, almost as though she were the one who had just lost an expense device.

"I feel so bad," he lamented.

"Really, you don't have to."

"I didn't know you had your phone."

"You said that."

"Yeah, but if I had known then I never would have..."

"Tipped my canoe over?"

"Yeah."

"It's okay, you can say it. Really. I'll have less to pack when we go home."

"Should we try calling it?" He suggested.

"Seriously?" But he was already dialing my number.

"It's ringing!"

"It's at the bottom of the lake," I said, partially saying it for Jose, but also coming to accept what was now a true fact in my life. "My phone is at the bottom of the lake."

"What if someone picks up?" Jose asked. "What should I say?"

"Who's gonna pick up at the bottom of the lake? Nemo? The customer service desk?"

"I don't know! It's still ringing. I'm kind of nervous. I really don't know what I'm going to say if somebody picks up," the worst part about all of that nonsense being, he was completely sincere.

"We were scared for a minute," London said, "because when we saw the canoe flip over, Ben came right back up. But you didn't come back up for a minute." As preoccupied with boys as London was, she demonstrated a palpable concern for her friends, which was admirable.

"Yeah, it's pretty scare down there."

"If Jose buys you a new phone, I'll help pay for it," Sophie finally spoke up, as Chet was drapping a towel around my shoulders. For some reason I was shivering, even though we were outdoors, and it was September.

"I'm not paying for nothing," Ben stated confidently, like he had thought about it for a while, but eventually decided against it.

"Nobody said it was your fault!"

"I'm surprised you're not trying to blame this on me, Penny."

"Well, I wasn't, but now you seem kind of defensive." Eva and Garrett emerged from walking over the bridge, which was on the other side of the lake.

"Where were they, during my tragedy?"

"Probably making out," Ben said, which was admittedly very true. They were smiling, and laughing, which was a good sign. Neither Eva or Garrett was good at faking it, which is why we always knew when the two of them were fighting.

"Did you see what happened?" London ran up to them asking, like it was the hottest gossip.

"Yeah," I heard Eva say, "We heard Penny. But we decided there was nothing we could do to help, so we didn't come back."

"Thanks a lot!" I called over at them.

"Hey! If you need a new phone, I have a used one I could give you," Garrett said, and I felt guilty at my response for the second time that day.

"You can use my phone to text your parents now," London offered. "And they can have a new one waiting for you by the time you get home."

"You don't know my parents. They aren't going to do that. They'll say, 'well, you should've taken better care of it.'"

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. You don't understand, London. Her parents are crazy," Ben said. I didn't disagree with him, but I hated that he said it.

"Oh, I get it. My mom is crazy, too." I knew London's mom was crazy, but she had a reason to be, and I would be too, if I was her. London seemed to have a more difficult time staying in school then anyone else I knew. She had been expelled three times, once for creating a burn book and twice for having sex (in the outfield and on a table in the school cafeteria, for the curious), but her rich parents bought their way back into the school's favor.

"Yeah, we're... exactly the same," I thought about saying, but decided against it.

"Really, I'll pay for it," Jose insisted.

"I can't let you do that. That would be too weird." I never liked to bother my friends, no matter how much they bothered me. Jose might have taken responsibility in the moment, but would become secretly resentful the moment he had to reach into his bank account. "Thanks, Chet. You really helped me calm down, when I was freaking out back there."

"Well... You shouldn't have had your phone. But it doesn't matter now. And, no problem." I had forgotten that I wasn't supposed to have my phone with me, and was surprised that Chet hadn't self-importantly pointed out that fact, earlier. He wasn't half bad, or at least not nearly as bad as Ben and Jose made him out to be.

The overwhelming guilt apparently weighing down Jose's soul didn't last for more than a few minutes before he suggested a volleyball game. There was a vacant pile of sand by the dock with only a ball and a net lying there, like it had been put there by the gods especially for us.

"Do you wanna play, Pen?" Jose was trying to cheer me up, which was his next favorite defense mechanism, next to repeatedly asking for forgiveness.

"No," I said, but I got up and moved, so I could stay involved in their conversation. I curled up in a fetal position in the sand, a decision I immediately regretted as I could feel the sand clinging to the back of my shorts.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I just want to wallow in my despair for a little while longer."

"What's the wallowing gestation period for something like this?" Ben wondered aloud. "I heard somewhere that you're only allowed to be depressed for half as long as you were together," because at least one friend who was removed from your heartbreaking situation was required to point this out.

"I thought it was twice as long," Jose said.

"It's only twice as long for you, because you hyperfocus the fuck out of everything," Garrett said in a thinly veiled attempt to be passive aggressive. I was glad that everyone laughed, or the moment would have been filled with tension. At the same time, I hated that everyone was laughing, because it meant they forgot something terrible had just happened to me.

It was the equivalent of hanging out with your friends on your birthday. You wanted your friends to be talking about the fact it was your birthday the whole time, lest they might forget, but there was only so much to say about it.

"Happy birthday," they would say, when they got to the restaurant/your house/the party venue. Then the rest of the night was like any other social gathering, except your name was on the cake, and after they left, you could look through your pile cards they had bought on the way there, even though you invited them two weeks ago.

"I'm sorry," they would say, when your phone dropped in a lake. Then the rest of the camping trip was like any other social gathering, except they all had their phones, so they could keep a comfortable distance from your recent calamity.

Was I being melodramatic? Definitely not. This was a certifiable 21st century, first world tragedy.

Garrett sat cross-legged down next to me, in the middle of the game going on around us.

"Hey."

"Hey..."

"Don't be upset, okay?"

"My parents really aren't going to get me a new one."

"I know they're not. Which is why I really am going to bring you my old one to school on Monday."

"Thanks, Garrett. You're the man," which is what I always said to him when he did a huge favor for me.

"It'll probably still have my old number, though. I got a new number when I got a new phone for my birthday."

"I know," I said, "I had to change your contact in my phone. I kept forgetting and texting you at your old number for, like, a week after. Hey, I'll pay for it, if you want."

"Nah, I don't wanna make you do that. That would be weird," Garrett said.

"This is why we're friends," I said. "Thank you."