My first mistake of the night was being late. I tried to get out of Rowan's house as quickly as possible, but she stayed after work, probably to socialize with her co-workers. She told me she was getting off at four, and we weren't supposed to meet at Eva's house until five. That's fine, I told her. It won't take me that long to get ready. I don't know why I didn't bring my clothes with me, to Rowan's house. That would've made it a lot easier, then I wouldn't have had to go home and change. When she finally got back to the house, it was 4:28, and I tried to make her feel badly:

"You told me you would be back at four."

"No I didn't. I told you I was getting off at four." My mind was spinning with possibilities of "getting off" jokes, but I was too angry to make one.

"You might've said that. But I thought you meant you were getting back at four. Why would I care what time you get off?" I guess I wasn't as angry as I thought, because I went on to say, "You can get off whenever you want."

"Wow, real mature, David. Who is this girl you're taking to homecoming again?"

"Her name is Penny. I've told you that."

"Poor thing."

"Yeah, I know. She's probably not even going to speak to me after tonight. I'll get to school on Monday and I'll say, 'Hey,' and she'll just ignore me."

"Okay, well, you can stay here and throw a pity party or you go home to get yourself looking presentable, so maybe that won't happen."

"Like that's going to make a difference."

"It might. Look, here's a tip, David- push your hair back. It looks so much better that way. It brings out the blue in your eyes, which is your best feature." Rowan spent four months in cosmetology school, before she decided she was content with being a waitress for the rest of her life, so she liked to think of herself as an expert on things like my appearance.

"Penny says she likes what I do with my hair."

"Whatever, then do the same thing you always do. I really don't care, okay?" Rowan threw up her hands in self defense. "Jesus, I try to help you, and this is the thanks I get."

"I promised her I wouldn't be late," I muttered to myself, not hearing a single thing that Rowan had just said.

"If all you're going to do is bitch, then get out of my apartment. The negativity is bad for Cece."

"So you're allowed to swear around Cece, but I'm not allowed to complain about my failed love life?"

"In case you forgot, I'm Cece's mother? So I make the rules about what's allowed and what's not. And your failed love life is making everyone uncomfortable."

"Hey, why aren't you going with Sophie?" I asked her. "Ricky's taking Sophie, you know."

"She hasn't come out to everyone at her school yet. Plus, I don't think a Lesbian couple would fly at a place as conservative as the Academy. Our age difference is kind of questionable, too." Our religious college prep school, Our Lady of the Lake Academy, was known as the Academy for short. Rowan was an alumni, and used to be on the cheerleading squad, before she got pregnant and her days on the top of the pyramid were cut short. "I let her go with Ricky, because Ricky's ridiculous. Even if she were bi.... Let's just say, he wouldn't be any competition for me."

"Who's my ride home?" I asked, not really caring about Sophie and Rowan and Ricky, and whatever they were doing in their private lives. I was just asking in a failed attempt to be polite.

"I think I saw Dad sitting in the driveway."

"Why didn't you tell me that when you walked in?" Rowan shrugged.

"You didn't ask."

My eyes wildly darted around the room, looking for anything I might be leaving. When I remembered I didn't bring anything, I felt for my phone in my pocket, and sprinted towards the door without even saying goodbye.

"Have fun!" Rowan called out to me. I wasn't planning on having fun, I thought to myself. But now that you said that, I'll think about it.

Penny had texted me last night, saying that she knew I was interested in Meredith. Do you still want to go together? She asked. Of course, I said. We're going to have fun. It's going to be fun. Probably not, she had told me. I laughed out loud and said, "Now you're sounding like me." I'll understand if you ditch me when we get there, she said.

"I won't," I texted back, even though what I really wanted to say was, "I won't, and I love you."

When I got in the car, Dad said,

"Christ, David, you look terrible."

"Yeah, I'm hoping to fix that."

"You don't have much time."

"Yeah, I know." When it came to conversations with my dad, I had difficulty beginning my sentences with any word other than yeah.

"I thought you told me Rowan was getting back at four. I was sitting in the driveway for a half-hour."

"No, she said she was getting off at four." My dad snorted, but he refrained from any more comments, which I appreciated.

"Who's this girl you're going to homecoming with, again?"

"Her name is Penny. I've said that before, Daddy."

"Oh, yeah. I remember now. You said she isn't going to speak to you after tonight?"

"Yeah."

"She sounds like a bitch," he said, which is what my dad said about everyone. As far as insults came, the people in my orbit weren't very creative. My dad always called people bitches, regardless of their gender, and Ricky used "Asshat.". He had read it in a John Green novel, and decided he liked it, so he wouldn't shut up about it. "Asshat" this and "Asshat" that.

"You're an asshat," he told me, nearly every day.

"Is everyone an asshat?"

"Yeah, basically. Everyone except for me. I don't engage in asshatery."

"Is asshat synonymous with douchebag?"

"No, asshat exists in its own, separate category."

"Well, she isn't," I said to my dad, after pausing for too long.

"What?"

"Penny isn't a bitch."

"I never said Penny was a bitch."

"Yeah, you did. Just now." He laughed:

"That does sound like me." Believe it or not, he wasn't high, he was just that forgetful. Sometimes I thought he was in a habit of forgetting things, because he had spent eight years in the Marines before I was born. "Don't stay out too late tonight, you hear? I'm waking you up at 8 tomorrow, and taking you to the gym." I rolled my eyes, rested my chin in my hand, and stared out the window. "Answer me, son."

"I said, 'yes sir'."

When we pulled up to the driveway, I sprinted inside the house before he even put the car in park, threw on my long pants and button down, and looked at the clock before I looked in the mirror.

"It's 4:50," my mom called to me, from the kitchen. "It's time to go!" I knew you needed a jacket, or they wouldn't let you in. I didn't know if you needed your ticket or not, and I hoped you didn't, since I hadn't seen mine since the day I bought it. They were ridiculously overpriced. $20 dollars for one night? And on top of that, I was expected to pay for my own dinner, and my date's, if I was trying to impress her? It was a good thing I already had my formal wear. Otherwise, I would've been completely broke. Homecoming was ridiculous. I didn't remember why I wanted to go in the first place.

"David and Jacob!"

"I'm coming!" I said, a little more disrespect in my voice then I meant for there to be. Jacob strolled out of the bathroom, appearing more relaxed than ever in his blue vest and bow tie.

"Looking good, bro," he told me.

"Thanks. You're pretty sharp yourself," I said, which was probably one of the nicest things I'd ever said to him, but it was true. Ricky would've thought the same.

"Are you going to do anything with your hair?"

"David and Jacob, I'm leaving right now!"

"I don't have time."

"Ugh. Okay. Whatever. It doesn't matter. Wait, it does. Just give me a second. I can try to gel it back for you." Jacob dashed back into the bathroom and emerged with a mountain of hair gel on his hands.

"I hope Charlotte doesn't want to hold hands or anything," he said, referencing the name of his date. "At least not for the first couple of hours."

"She probably will, on the ride over there," I said, as Jacob raked his fingers through my light brown locks.

"You're right. Too bad I'm not driving. I could use that as an excuse. I never understood people who hold hands with someone that's driving. Don't they realize that's dangerous? Is it really worth it? Can't you just wait until you get to a nice parking lot?"

"You do other things in parking lots," I said, having firsthand experience. "I don't really think it's that dangerous. You can drive with one hand."

"I thought you were, like, deathly afraid of driving."

"Yeah, I don't mean I personally can drive with one hand. I mean that someone hypothetically could, if they were emotionally stable enough to do that sort of thing. Just wash your hands," I said, when he was finished.

"DAVID AND JACOB!"

"No time," he said. For a brief moment, it seemed like he was contemplating whether or not to wipe his hands on his pants, but then wisely decided against it.

"Yeah, good idea. Don't do that. Thanks for helping me."

"Aren't you going to look in the mirror?"

"No time!"

"Oh, yeah. I forgot. Well, I can tell you that it looks good. Or at least, better than it did before. Come on, let's go." Even in the midst of pressure, Jacob was still more collected than I was on a good day. "Wait, you don't have your tie on," he reminded me. I grabbed it off of my bed, then went through the same routine I did before leaving Rowan's house: Did I have my phone? Yes. Good. Did I need anything else?

I grabbed my glasses, from off the nightstand. I hated wearing them. I never did, except in chemistry class, but Penny had asked me to wear them that night. I shoved them in my pocket, telling myself that I would put them back on again if she reminded me.

"Oh, no. I'm wearing the wrong shoes." I looked down in dismay at my black and white converse.

"It'll be fine, I promise. The world is going to keep turning." We rushed out of our shared bedroom and towards the front door of the house, where our mom was waiting for us, car keys in hand.

"What took you so long?"

"David had to do his hair."

"Oh," she grimaced. "And that's what you came up with?"

"I thought you said it looked good!"

"I said it looked better. I can only do so much, Davey. I'm not a miracle worker." My face contorted not because he insulted my appearance, but because he called me by my least favorite nickname.

"Get in the car," she told us, and Jacob called shotgun, like always.

"Age before beauty," he told me jokingly, as he slid into the front seat.

"Who are you going with again, David?"

"Penny," Jacob and I answered, in unison. He was tired of hearing me say it.

"And who's Penny?"

"She's a girl in my chemistry class," I started a beat after Jacob said,

"She's a girl in his chemistry hour."

"So, you met in this chemistry class?" She clarified.

"No, we met in a bar," I answered sarcastically. "How is it that everybody remembers Jacob is going with Charlotte, but no one can remember the name Penny? Penny is a much more memorable name than Charlotte."

"I would argue with that," Jacob said. "And also, they remember because they care about me more." That joke hit too close to home, and we rode the rest of the way to Eva's house in silence.

"Have fun," my mom told us, as she pulled up against the side of a ditch to let us off. There were at least 11 cars parked out front on the streets, and suddenly, I felt nervous.

"Aren't you going to come in?" She gave me a funny look.

"What would I come in for?"

"Well, most of the parents come in and take pictures of their kids."

"So there will be other parents there?"

"Yeah, almost everyone's."

"So, they can send me the pictures then."

"That wasn't my point." I glanced down at my phone and saw Penny hadn't texted me, even though I was at least thirty minutes later than promised.

"He's stalling," Jacob said, although I didn't know why he was waiting for me to get out.

"So are you."

"I'm waiting for my hands to dry!"

"Both of you, get out of the car," our mom said, and we listened. When I emerged from the car doors I noticed a man standing outside, who I hadn't noticed before. When we walked up, he said:

"You must be Cal," to Jacob.

"Uh, no sir. I'm Jacob. Jacob Fuentes. And this is my brother, Dav- I mean, Cal Fuentes." He gestured to me, walking a few steps behind.

"Hi, Jacob. Nice to meet you. Abraham Shapiro," and I froze, because that was Penny's last name.

"Oh, are you Jewish?" Jacob asked, truly having no filter.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I am. And you must be Cal," he said, extending his hand in greeting. "Abraham Shapiro."

Yeah, that's what Jacob just said, I thought to myself. "Yes, yes sir," I said instead, and it also occurred to me how grateful Jacob was that Mr. Shapiro hadn't shaken his hand.

"Well, come on in. Everybody's waiting for you inside. You two are the last to get here," he said, kind of passive aggressively. I just walked past him, not really having anything else to say, and realizing how excited I was to see Penny in that dress she showed me.

It was a nice place, two stories, with family pictures lining all the walls. A balcony was above me, and the living room, where everyone was congregating, was straight ahead.

I spotted Penny talking with Ben, and whoever his date was. It was a girl I didn't recognize. Did I have to meet new people tonight, too? I couldn't imagine there being any more social pressure.

Ben was holding a Starbucks cup in one hand, and his tie in the other, and I laughed to myself, because why wouldn't he be?

She was wearing the same dress in the picture. It had a black sequined bodice, and a white tulle skirt, matching my own black and white ensemble. Her hair, which I had never seen up before, was twisted into a complex, braided bun. She must've spent all day getting ready. For this. For me.

I knew she saw me out of the corner of her eye, but she didn't want to run up to me, and abandon her conversation. I walked up to them cautiously, praying she wouldn't be angry with me, and leave me hanging in front of all her friends.

"Cal!" She said, when I got close enough, and wrapped me up in a hug, which was only made awkward by the fact she was holding a box with my boutonniere in it.

"Hey," I said, not having the mental clarity to think of anything better.

"You're late!" She said, but I could tell by her smile she was teasing me playfully, not chastising me, like I had thought she might. She was just happy I was there.

"I was babysitting for my sister."

"Lame." I felt instantly guilty, because she was trying to be lighthearted about the fact I was a terrible date.

"Your sister has a baby?" Ben interjected, his sheer mass and volume overtaking the whole conversation. He didn't bother to introduce me to his date.

"Yeah, she's like, three years old. My brother had a kid too."

"Jacob?"

"No, my other brother."

"I didn't know you had another brother." I would've said, "he's dead," but I didn't imagine that would make for very lively pre-dance conversation.

"Yeah. You didn't get ready before you came here?"

"Yeah, well, I tried to get ready in the car, but I was driving." Right as he finished his sentence, a swarm of concerned mothers descended on him, one who insisted he relinquish the Starbucks cup, and the other two who helped him adjust his tie.

"Now, you're going to have to get the belt on yourself," the one with the Southern accent said. I guessed she was Eva's mom, and the owner of the house, since Eva spoke using same sugary tone.

"Yes ma'am," he said, with a ridiculous, smug smirk on his face. Ben was the stereotypical only child, the one who charmed adults with their intelligence and good conversational skills, but was secretly disrespecting them all behind their backs.

"Oh, here's your corsage," I said to Penny like it was an afterthought, although I was actually excited for her to see it, because I got her the special kind you could wear as a bracelet after the flowers died. I don't think she noticed.

"I have your boutonniere, too. Hold on. Let me pin it on you. I read a WikiHow article about how to do this last night." I didn't want to make fun of her, but it seemed like she was trying to pin it to my collar instead of my lapal. A mom standing nearby noticed and said:

"Here, let me do it. Are you Cal?"

"Yes."

"I'm Penny's mom," she said, and then she laughed at nothing in particular, which made it obvious that she was.

"Thanks," I said, when she was done.

"Can I get a picture of you two?"

"Of course." I put my arm around Penny, and she leaned into me, so close that I could smell her flowery scented perfume.

"Let me get one," another mom said. I thought it was Jose's, even though she didn't have a Spanish accent, like I would've expected. "You look beautiful, Penny."

"Thanks!"

"You do," I told her, quietly, so no one else could hear. It wasn't that I was embarrassed, I just didn't want anyone else to share in the moment.

"Thank you," she said, and squeezed me tighter. She didn't say anything about me, but I couldn't hold it against her, considering I had spent less than five minutes getting ready.

"Okay, I got it," the woman said, and Penny pulled away.

"Where do I put this?" I said, to no one in particular, referencing the empty corsage box.

"Here," Penny took it from me, and placed it on the counter, on top of her empty box.

"I don't think that's where it goes."

"It's fine," she said, with a twinkle in her eye. She was trying so hard to be a fun date already, and I appreciated the effort, but I didn't even know where to start.

"Cal!" Ricky approached me, and then we embraced, in an awkward bro-hug.

"Ricky! My man," I said, and then we engaged in our usual banter. I could tell Penny felt out of the loop, just standing there, so she went back to talking to Ben and his date.

"Who's that girl Ben's with?" I asked, moving our conversation a few feet away so we could talk about then.

"Oh, that blonde girl? That's London. You remember her. She's the slut that used to go to our school, before she got expelled."

"Ricky, come on." Ever since a girl at school had called Penny a slut for wearing knee socks, I had grown to dislike the word. I did remember London, vaguely- she was one of the many girls I had tried to get with, before Penny. She rejected me, though, which was surprising. Before that, I didn't think she rejected anyone. We formed a mismatched friendship based on my ill-fated attempts to gain her attention, bonding over chick flicks and promiscuity.

"What? I'm not exaggerating. She's like, the sluttiest of sluts. Even I wouldn't hit that. Who knows where it's been? And by 'it' I mean-"

"Okay, I remember her," I admitted, partially because I did, but I also didn't want to hear the rest of his sentence. How could I forget? My dad was the baseball coach, and she got caught having sex in the dugout. That was the topic of our dinner table conversation for at least two weeks. "She looks different, though."

"It's probably the STD."

"Ricky."

"What? I'm not exaggerating. Maybe she's pregnant, she's got that pregnancy glow going on. You know the one- your sister had it. Rowan's always been hot, dude, but when she was like three months in? She took it to another level." I didn't even have a response to that, so I turned back to Penny, and asked,

"Who are we riding to the restaurant with?"

"Ben and London. We're going to leave in a minute. We were just waiting on you guys." Again, she didn't say this in a mean way- she was stating facts.

"I'm gonna bang Sophie so hard tonight," Ricky whispered in my ear.

"Doubt that," I said, out loud.

"Okay, everyone!" Jose clapped his hands twice and stood up on the coffee table to get our attention. I briefly wondered if that was okay, considering it wasn't his house, but everyone appeared to accept his actions. Maybe he was like this all the time, so they didn't even bother telling him to stop anymore. "We're about to leave for the restaurant! Does everyone have all the pictures they want? Last call for pictures!" No one said anything, so he continued: "Okay, great!" And he clapped again, for extra enthusiasm. "Ben's driving the first car, with London, Cal, and Penny. Eva's driving the second car, and it's going to have Garrett, of course." He paused for a second, to let his non-joke sink in. "It's an 'of course' because they've been dating for five months, if you didn't catch that. Also, I'll be in there, with Jacob, and Charlotte, and Ricky and Sophie."

"Wait, and you'll be going with who?" Garrett asked, and Eva, Sophie, Penny, and Ben started laughing, like it was some sort of delicious inside joke that he didn't have a homecoming date. Maybe it was. I could've married Penny, and still not understood what it meant to be a part of her friend group. They had all known each other since they were at least 11 years old, and every conversation alluded to old memories or contained cryptic, one-word phrases which sent them into a fit of hysterics.

In one swift motion, Jose reached into his pocket, and pressed a couple of buttons on his phone. He held it up to reveal the Netflix app: "I'd like to thank my lovely homecoming date, who brings me so much joy on a daily basis."

"Not a bad comeback, for someone who just got off the boat yesterday," Ben said. I glanced over at Jose's mom to gauge her reaction, but she seemed unbothered by his racist commentary.

"Anyway!" He clapped a fourth time, sensing that he was losing our attention. "We are leaving approximately... now." We all started filing outside, but Mr. Shapiro was still standing by the front door, and he grabbed my shoulder before I made it all the way out.

"You're going to be a perfect gentlemen tonight, right?" The way he said it, it was more like a statement than a question.

"Yes, sir. Of course."

"Good. Nice meeting you, Calvin." I felt guilty, all over again.

Once we were all outside, Penny slipped by my side again. "Do you know which car is Ben's?"

"No, do you?"

"It's the red jeep, over there. He used to have a black Honda Civic, but then he totaled it on the service road. You know, the one by school? But he was all like, 'it doesn't matter, I'll just use my spare,' and then he pulls up to school the next day in that thing. Can you believe that?"

"Actually, yeah. That sounds like a classic Ben move." Ben was the douchebag Ricky would've been, if Ricky had money to throw around.

"Where are your glasses? You told me you were going to wear them!"

"I have them with me...."

"You should put them on."

"I really hate the way I look in them."

"You hate looking ridiculously handsome?" she said, and that was all it took to convince me. I whipped the thick black frames out of my pocket and put them on my face. "I mean, you look so handsome anyway.... But with the glasses you just look like superman, back when he worked for that newspaper. Or was that Spider Man? Which one had glasses?"

"They both had glasses," I said. "But Superman worked for the newspaper."

"Whichever one's name was Peter Parker. You look like him."

"It's a two door," Ben told us. "So I'll let you guys in first." I stepped aside to let Penny go in before me.

"Thanks!" She said, and then I slid in beside her.

"Okay, it's happening," Ben said, as we pulled out of the driveway. Then he started blasting rap music music so loudly his windshield rattled. I was glad that everything was at such a ridiculous volume, so I wouldn't be obligated to make small talk. Instead, I could scream unintelligible things and fit right in.

"HOMECOMING!" London yelled out the window, in case the other people on the road were wondering where we were headed in formal wear, in October.

There wasn't a lot of room in the backseat; we were right next to each other, and she kept glancing at me nervously, and then looking away. I wanted to grab her hand and tell her how gorgeous she was. I already complimented her that night, but she looked the kind of beautiful that needed to be told more than once. She shifted away from me, like she was afraid of intruding on my personal space. I pressed my leg up against hers, thinking that could be chalked up to as an accident, if Meredith found out. No one held hands on accident. If Meredith asked me why I told Penny she was beautiful, I would say I felt required to, like it was my civic duty as her homecoming date. That would be a lie, but sometimes it's better to lie and protect someone's feelings, then to be honest and hurt them.

I don't remember what else happened. I think we started talking at some point, but gave up, with the music blasting in our ears. But if sitting next to Penny on the ride to the restaurant was the only good thing to come out of our relationship, I would still put myself through everything all over again.

Dinner actually went surprisingly well, or at least better than expected. We went to an Italian place that I don't remember the name of. They had a special homecoming menu, with a flat price of $30 per person. I remember that, because I was almost broke after buying my ticket to the dance, which cost the same amount.

We knew the hostess- she was an Alumni of the academy named Helaine, who was just as hilarious as she was morbidly obese.

"How's college treating you?" I heard Penny ask her, while we were waiting for a table.

"Well, everyone likes to drink, and me, not so much. But other than that, I'm doing fine." I had seen her at parties last year, so either she had a major change of heart or was lying to preserve her Catholic schoolgirl image. Then she led us to our table, which was set for ten people in a semi-private room. We were sharing it with what appeared to be another group headed to a dance.

"Our Lady of Lame Academy," one of them called out to us, apparently recognizing Ricky. I wasn't surprised- he knew everyone at the local public school.

I could tell he was restraining himself when he looked down and pulled out a chair for Sophie. I did the same for my own date, who said, "Thank you," because she never let one of my acts of chivalry go unnoticed.

We knew our busboy, too. He was yet another alumni of the past year, from the same class as Helaine. They were both attending the community college, which is how they were able to handle the commute, he explained to us. His name was also Garrett.

"Garrett! My man," our Garrett said to him, in his usual, overly charismatic way.

"Doing just fine, thanks. How about you, Garrett?" The exchange went on like that for about another five minutes, and I could tell they found themselves amusing.

He was dressed in the same colors as I was, so when I got up to use the bathroom, people from other tables tried to hand me their used silverware. I decided to play along, rather than correct them.

"Maybe I should apply for a job here," I said, when I sat back down. "I used to be a waiter at my Uncle's restaurant before he fired me."

"No kidding! I used to be a waitress," Penny told me. "I got fired for eating the pizza while I was supposed to be working."

"Yeah, well, I spat in someone's drink, and they got all bent out of shape about it."

"People used to always order Coke, but we only had Pepsi. I would just get them Pepsi without telling them, and some of them wouldn't even notice. Also, I was always complaining about my weird co-worker. I didn't know why he was watching me all the time. And then he turned out to be my boss."

"Oh, man," I laughed. "That's never good."

"I can't believe your own Uncle fired you! And your Aunt who gives you voice lessons tells you that you're a bad singer," she said. I told her that last bit in a previous conversation. "Are they married?"

"No, weirdly enough, they're from two opposite sides of the family. I mean, neither of them are really related to me, though. Because I'm adopted." Jacob would've told me to stop being so angsty and have a normal conversation for once.

"I know. I remember that." Of course she did. She knew it was important to me.

"So, what are you going to get?" There were only three options on the menu, because of the special they were running.

"Well, I can't pronounce the first two options, so I think I'm going to have to go with the burgar."

"Do you think they could make it without the Jalapeno peppers?"

"Probably not. It says in the description that the peppers are in the bun. Hey, do you know what Dinonuggets are?"

"Chicken nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs, right?"

"Yeah, that's it. I used to be a camp counselor also, and we made those for the kids. Sometimes there would be leftovers and I would always have some. They're actually really good! Anyway, what I was going to say is, I wish they served dinonuggets here." She was nervous, I could tell because she was rambling, and talking faster than usual.

"Hey, we're gonna have a fun time," I reminded her.

"You promise you're not going to ditch me once we get there?"

"I promise." But it was hard to say.

When I asked the waiter if they could make the burgers without the peppers, he looked at me like I was crazy. "No, they're baked into the bun."

"You were right," I told Penny. "I should've just brought Dinonuggets in a ziplock bag."

"Did you wear your glasses in your permit picture?" I hoped Jacob and Penny would never have a conversation. They would never be able to stay on topic.

"No."

"Can I see it?"

"No."

"Why?"

"It's a really bad picture."

"I won't look at the picture. I just want to see."

"Why would you want to see if you don't want to look at the picture?" I knew Penny was lying. I remembered her telling me she would always ask to see people's licenses and permits for two reasons: first to look at the picture, and then to look at the weight.

"Does that make me a terrible person?" She had asked me.

"No," I said. "It just makes you mean. But I already knew you were mean."

"Come on, just let me-" She started grabbing on to my wallet, but I was holding onto it so tightly she shifted in her chair, and her leg swung over mine. I'm not sure if it was inadvertent or not- it sounds unnatural in retrospect, but at the time, it seemed to make perfect sense.

"How do you think Meredith would like it if I sent her a picture of that?" Ricky said, form the other end of the table. Penny's face fell. She removed her leg from mine, and straightened up in her chair, without saying anything.

"Ricky," I said, then got up and walked over to him so our conversation would be private. Still, Sophie was listening, and I had a feeling she was going to report back later. "Please cut it out."

"No. I told you. I don't want you to be with Penny. And, you're not anymore. So why does it matter?"

"I- it just- I want her to have a good night, okay? And you just ruined dinner for her. So please stop."

"Actually, you ruined dinner. By sleeping with another girl."

"I haven't slept with her yet."

"Yet." I scowled at him, but didn't have a comeback, so I returned to my seat. Penny and I were in front of Jacob and Charlotte, who didn't have a whole lot to say. They didn't know each other very well; Jacob confessed to me he hoped this would be the beginning of something more, but it also had the potential for a lot of awkwardness. I admit, I had encouraged him to ask her a few months ago, when I coerced Charlotte into essentially asking Penny for me. I told her I would set her up with Jacob, figuring that I would try my best, but he probably wouldn't listen to me. I didn't understand why he asked her, since there were so many other girls that were dying to go with him, ones that could hold a decent conversation. Penny was asking Charlotte something about the theatre department:

"So how often exactly are we going to get checked out of school the week of the play?"

"Oh, we're hardly ever at school the week of. We usually get three days off excused, but nobody goes that Friday, either, because we're so exhausted from performing."

"Wow, that's great. I always tell people to do the plays, because we get off of school so much, and there's a lot of free food involved."

"I didn't know you did theatre," Jacob said. "That's really interesting." He wasn't being sarcastic, either; that's exactly the kind of boring thing that Jacob would find interesting.

"Yeah, I've been doing it for years. I played Dorothy in last years' production of The Wizard of Oz."

"I went to go see it! I had to write a report for extra-credit in my English class. I mean, not that I wouldn't have gone anyway, because I like that kind of stuff-"

"So you remember me in it?"

"I don't really remember much," he admitted.

"Well, I was the lead role. Do you remember anything?"

"Yeah, now that you mention it, I can totally see you playing Dorothy."

"Well, I did." Charlotte was the kind of girl who started off all her sentences with well, because she was slightly unsure of herself, but she was also always trying to back you into a corner.

"Please stop talking about her that way, she's my best friend." I heard Sophie, her voice louder than all of ours combined. I knew Ricky was ranting again, and Penny knew it, too. She was trying so hard to keep it together.

"I mean, really. That's a lot of time off of school. How do you make it up?"

"Um, I don't know. I mean, like it's said, most of the stuff is excused." Garrett (the busboy, not Penny's best friend) handed me my change and said,

"Have fun tonight! You only get four homecomings."

"Thanks. I'll try to."

Penny was making fun of Ben, because he had ordered something elaborate off the regular menu. In my opinion he was just opening himself up to criticism, but he must've been offended, because he replied obnoxiously,

"Penny, did Cal pay for you?"

"No," she replied honestly. That ignited an argument between London and Ben, about who was taking care of the check, and I was glad we didn't linger on the topic. I would've loved to pay for her, if I had enough money. I should've told her that. Why didn't I tell her that?

We timed dinner perfectly, so that we got to the dance right when the doors were opening. There was still a line, where everyone was telling the chaperones their names and being marked on a sheet before they were allowed to go through. It was the first cold night of the year- Michigan weather was highly unpredictable, and no one was expecting it to drop below fifty degrees in mid-October, so we all came ill-prepared.

"Remember when you said you got grounded because your teeth were chattering in the car?" Sophie reminded Penny, laughing at the memory. I assumed she was sensitive to the cold, since that went hand and hand with a low pain tolerance.

"Yeah, but I was like, five years old. That's not as good as the time I got grounded for turning off the radio in the car." I moved to take off my jacket and give it to her, but Ricky stopped me.

"Dude, remember? You need a jacket to get in."

"Oh, yeah." I avoided eye contact with Penny out of embarrassment. I could hear music pouring out from inside the gymnasium. It was an old song, because on top of everything being censored, the nuns also wanted everything to be from at least four years ago.

"Motion City Soundtrack?" Jacob said. He was like a walking 90's encyclopedia. "They're good. Not great, though. About the same level as the Click Five."

"You listen to the Click Five?" Charlotte asked.

"Yeah, of course. I love their song, 'Just the Girl.'" I thought there was going to be an instant connection, but then she said,

"That's weird. Aren't they like a boy band?"

"They are a boy band. I don't like them because of that. I like them because they make good music."

"Well, okay. I'm sorry. I just didn't realize that you were gay." Jacob looked at me with deer in headlights eyes, and I mouthed, "I told you so," for the first time. Usually it was him saying it to me.

"I'm not, I jus-"

"But you just said you liked a boy band." Then Jacob got this wild grin on his face, and I think he decided to play along.

"Is that a problem?"

"What?"

"Me being gay. Is that a problem?"

"You're gay?"

"Yeah, I'm gay," he gave me a sidelong glance, trying to prevent himself from smiling. "There is literally no other explanation of me liking a boy band's music, other than being gay. So, Is that a problem?"

"Well, yeah, I wish you would've told me. That makes me kind of uncomfortable."

"You can leave now if that's a problem."

"Well, I'm sorry. I had fun at dinner, Jacob. It's just that, well, I'm really conservative, and, well, I don't feel comfortable around you people. So I guess I'll see you around." And then just as quickly as Charlotte entered our lives, she disappeared into the swarm of people, going farther back in line to avoid the awkward wait with us.

"I can't believe you did that!" I hissed.

"Why? Did you see how she was acting all night?"

"Well, yeah-"

"Don't say the word 'well' ever again. It's ruined for me." I laughed, then continued:

"I mean I did, but I figured you would find some way to handle that. You always do. That's kind of uncharacteristically mean of you. More like something I would do."

"I figure, Garrett's right." I looked over to where he was standing, with Eva. "Not that Garrett, the other Garrett. Busboy Garrett. Anyway, he was a wise busboy, a great dispenser of wisdom, like a fortune cookie that clears away your empty plates. They should give him a promotion. Anyway, he pointed out we only get four homecomings. I don't want 25% of them to suck. And that's just if we have good luck next year. I did the math."

"You would rather go dateless?"

"I would rather go dateless than be with someone I didn't like." I leaned in a little closer, so that no one else could here.

"Do you think Penny feels the same way?"

"I have no idea. Some people like the drama of a bad date. I don't."

"Ricky and I both have dates, so we can't be hanging out with you all night," I informed him.

"What's that?" Ricky said, his radar unfailing. "Did I hear my name?"

"No!" I was done with him, and the night had barely even started.

"As terribly tragic as that is, I think I'll somehow manage to still have a good time." I shook my head.

"I still can't believe you did that." Then he smirked and quoted Ricky's mantra:

"Bitches be crazy." When I looked up, I couldn't find Penny again, so I just stood next to Jacob until we reached the front of the line.

"Name?" The chaperone asked me, not even bothering to glance up from her sheet of paper. I could see inside the dark gym now. It was illuminated by candles on the fold out tables, and a light coming from the DJ booth. Dylan's dad was a DJ, and I briefly wondered if he had been hired for this occasion. Dylan wasn't even going to homecoming, though. He and Griffin both thought it was lame. They were probably out that night, robbing a convenience store or something equally stupid.

"Cal Fuentes."

"Okay, you can go in."

"Don't you need to see my ticket?" I don't know why I asked. I didn't have it, anyway. She lifted her head, and regarded me with disgust for forcing her to go through such physical activity.

"No." She didn't seem particularly concerned with what I was wearing, either. I could've given my jacket to Penny, and in retrospect, Ricky probably knew that.

"Jacob Fuentes," I heard my brother saying, and I waited until his status as a student of the Academy was confirmed before we walked into together. The room was sparsely populated, with most of the upperclassman wanting to be fashionably late. A few groups of freshman and sophomores were congregating in circles on the dance floor, or by the walls, with the cheaply made scenery. The theme was, "A Night of Enchantment." A variant of that concept was the theme every year, so they could reuse the same backdrops. "A Night in Wonderland," was last year, and "A Night in New York" two years before. I spotted Meredith from across the room, with some friends, and her date from the local public high school. She saw me, too, and started making her way over.

"Is that her?" Jacob asked. I nodded, my mouth suddenly becoming too try to form words. "Your description did her justice," he said. "Her face is a little squinched up. Totally different from Penny. Penny does have a nice smile. I noticed it at dinner, when I was trying to avoid eye contact with Charlotte."

"Hey," Meredith said. Her normally straight, shoulder length brown hair was in a messy updo, which she had obviously done herself, unlike Penny. She was wearing a bright red dress past her knees. I knew that wasn't her own choice; she told me she had bought three dresses before finding one that finally got approved by the Academy's strict dress code.

"Hey. You just left your date over there?"

"Yeah, I had to come see you. You look great," she told me. "It's funny how Declan thinks I'm with him tonight, and Penny thinks you're with her. We're secretly each other's dates." I felt sick to my stomach. "Is this your brother?" She gestured to Jacob. "I've heard a lot about you.

"My adopted brother," I corrected. Jacob extended her hand, and she didn't seem to know what to do with it for a second before accepting.

"The name's Jacob," he flashed two rows of perfect, straight teeth. "Pleased to meet you." That was the thing about Jacob: he could be so entirely not pleased to meet someone, but he would always put on a polite face.

"You're adopted?"

"Yeah, I told you that."

"I'm sure he told you that. It's all he talks about." Then Jacob laughed, like he was joking, but I could tell he was repulsed by Meredith, and whatever interaction we were having.

I saw Penny walk in, and she was standing by herself. She must have lost her other friends in line.

"Would you give me a second?"

"To do what? To go talk to her?"

"Yeah."

"Why do you want to go talk to her?"

"Because she's his date," Jacob said, at the same time I said,

"I don't want to be rude."

"Well, which is it?" Meredith asked.

"Come on, Mer. You know I'm with you tonight. I just have to get rid of her really fast. Then we can be together."

"Okay," she relented. "Just make it quick. Declan is so boring." Declan was the name of her date, I was assuming. She had probably told me that, but it didn't make a big impression. I don't know where she had found him. She seemed to have an endless supply of guys who were willing to date her at any given moment. Ricky and I were talking about that just the other day.

"Where does she find this line of guys?" He wondered aloud. "Where's my line of girls? My line of girls looks like the line to see a Dreamworks movie about talking animals."

"Nobody's in it because you're not funny?" I had said.

"I was going to say, nobody's in it, because they know how it's going to end. But that works too."

"Hey, Penny," I said, and then kicked myself, because I made it sound like that was the first time I had seen her all night, and like we hadn't come together. "Where are your friends?"

"I don't know, I lost them in line."

"Okay, well, I'm gonna put my jacket over hear on the bleachers because I don't need it anymore. Do you want me to take your stuff?" She was carrying a clutch, which didn't have anything in it except for lipstick, money, and her cell phone. I saw when she opened it at dinner.

"No, that's okay, I've got it." We walked over to the bleachers and set our stuff down. Ricky joined us, with Sophie nowhere in sight.

"Where's Meredith? Have you seen Meredith yet?" He didn't even care that Penny was standing right there.

"No," I lied. "Where's Sophie?"

"Does it matter?"

"Well, I thought it did. What happened to your plan?"

"Oh, the 'bang her before the night is over' plan?"

"Yet, that one," but I cringed, because Penny probably thought we were disgusting. It's just Ricky, I wanted to say.

"That's still in the works. Doesn't mean I have to hang out with her all night. My powers are so great, I can make her want to bang me by osmosis."

"I don't think you know how osmosis works." His knowledge of basic scientific concepts was somewhat lacking.

"I don't think you know how seduction works," he countered. "Actually, I take that back. You totally do. You came here with two girls tonight. You're the fucking man, Cal." He offered me a high-five, but I turned away, like I didn't see it.

"You know, for someone who took dance class for three years, you're really not a good dancer." Penny was teasing me, because I was just rocking back and forth on my heels to the beat of the music.

"It's cause I'm not trying right now," I defended myself. "This isn't my kind of music."

"So what kind of music would you prefer to dance to? The Nutcracker Soundtrack?"

"You're extra spicy tonight," I told her.

"It must've been all those jalapeno peppers." The song "Lipgloss" by lil Mama started playing over the speakers, and Penny's friends, who were on the edge of the dance floor, were calling her name.

"Penny! It's your theme song!" Besides her signature knee socks and brown curls, Penny also had a habit of wearing bright pink lip gloss to school everyday, even though it wasn't popular among the rest of the girls.

"Okay! I'm coming! Do you mind, Cal?" She was taking the high road, by faking politeness.

"Not at all." Ricky snorted, when she walked away to join them.

"My lipgloss, is poppin', my lipgloss, is cool," I could hear her voice rising above the others.

"I thought she was never going to go away." We walked over to a high top table, where Ricky immediately started playing on his phone, and Meredith slipped in beside me. She was dancing, all up in my face, and I didn't feel like I had another choice but to join her.

"Where is Declan?" I asked.

"Who cares?" I didn't, but for different reasons than she might've imagined. She turned around, grinding on me, and I awkwardly placed my hands around her waist. It was really too loud to have a conversation, but I felt uncomfortable not saying anything at all.

"You look good tonight," I shouted over the music. She didn't say anything back. I glanced at Ricky's phone, and the dim backlight revealed he was playing Candy Crush. He was so disinterested in everything. He would've been just as content at home, watching a Tigers game on his $20 black and white television set from Goodwill. Sophie didn't seem to care about where he was, either, so I guessed the feeling was mutual.

A freshman girl named Sophie, who was in the youth band at Ricky's church, had a hopeless crush on him. To get back at her, he started a rumor that he was asking "Sophie" to homecoming, only to ask a different one. It was childish at best, cruel at worst, but very effective in making the younger Sophie humiliated among her friends. It was convenient also, because the older Sophie was hot, and friends with my date. That was just an added bonus, though. Ricky would've probably done it anyway, just for laughs. He would do anything for laughs. Once, when we were nine, he stuck his head in the toilet and flushed, on a dare. It was at a little league team party. He dared himself to do it, in an effort to become the center of attention. My dad called his mom, and she made him come home and wash his hair. He came back when he was finished, but their was still a dark cloud hanging over the remainder of the party.

I wanted to talk to the younger Sophie, tell her that his 5'4 broke ass who got the idea to be a drummer from the movie "Drumline" wasn't worth it, but I doubted it would help. I knew how younger girls were with their upperclassman crushes, and it wasn't pretty.

I wanted to tell her that Ricky had a younger step-sister, named Summer, who was a freshman in Younger Sophie's grade. She probably knew her, but she probably didn't know they were related, since it didn't seem like it. I wanted to tell her that Ricky spread awful rumors about Summer at school, and didn't talk to her at home. He would trade her for a box of joints, if he had the chance. He told everyone she was a slut, and that she sucked dicks for money. And when other guys said they wanted to fuck her, he didn't punch them in the face, like I would've done, if I had a younger sister. Hell, I would've done the same thing for Rowan, and she was a twenty-three year old lesbian.

A slow song started playing. It was "When I Was Your Man," by Bruno Mars, and I couldn't for the life of me understand why anyone would want to slow dance to what was essentially a break-up song. I turned away from Meredith, not ready to make our relationship public. She disappeared, probably off to find Declan and console him with at least one dance.

"Are you going to ask Sophie?" I asked Ricky.

"Huh?"

"It's a slow dance."

"Is it? It all just sounds like bad music, to me." It wouldn't surprise me if he had put headphones in, at some point in the night. "What to dance?" It was my turn to say,

"Huh?"

"Come on, it'll be hilarious." He hopped off the bar stool and slung his arms lazily over my shoulders. He was the perfect height for that kind of nonsense, actually. We stumbled around the other romantic couples, stepping on each others' feet and laughing hysterically. Other guys were doing the same thing, but mostly it was guys without dates, making fun of themselves. Girls got together in groups, swinging back and forth, or waving their cellphones in the air. We danced by Eva and Garrett, who seemed to be having a good time. Garrett gave me a nasty look, though. After the song was over, he pulled me aside:

"Don't you want to dance with Penny?"

"You can't really dance to this music. It's really lame."

"Well, you asked her to come with you, so I think you should try."

"I don't want to."

"Fuck you," he said, then turned around, not even waiting to see my reaction. Jose walked by, and I grabbed him by the arm.

"Garrett just cursed me out," I told him, feeling about five years old, but wanting to complain about it with someone. "Can you believe that? What a dick."

"Yeah, actually. You're not dancing with Penny. He's Penny's best friend."

"This is not my fault."

"She's crying in the bathroom."

"She's what? Where?"

"She's crying. In the bathroom. You're making her become the high school stereotype, Cal. Everyone's going to walk in there and ask what's wrong, and then they'll know what a jerk you are. It happens once every dance. You're going to get tarred and feathered at school on Monday."

"Why is she crying? That's not my fault."

"Because you haven't talked to her since we got here? I don't know. I'm just guessing. I can't go in there. I think London's with her." Jose didn't sound slanted one way or the other; at least, he wasn't as obviously angry with me as Garrett was. He was just reporting events, as he saw them.

"Are you mad at me?"

"I don't know. I don't know enough about the situation to say one way or the other."

"Sounds like you don't know a lot."

"I don't. I've just been wandering around, all night."

"Have you found Jacob? He ditched his date."

"Yeah, we did the slow dance together." Jose chuckled creepily at the memory. "It was really nice." I remembered Jose was bisexual, like I was, and I thought in passing that he might have a crush on Jacob.

"Jacob's a nice looking guy, isn't he?"

"That's kind of a weird thing to say about your brother." I almost said "adopted brother," out of habit, but I didn't think that would be appropriate, so I restrained myself.

"Whatever. Anyway, I just don't know what Penny expects to do. How is she mad at me, if the chemistry just isn't there anymore?" I could feel the blood rushing to my face, and my hands inadvertently formed fists at my sides.

"Woah, calm down. I don't think it's anyone's fault. I just said that."

"But Penny's mad at me. She had no right to be."

"I don't think she's mad, dude. She's just upset. I don't know if you need to have a right to be upset." That was true enough, but it still took me a second to calm down. Meredith found me again, and handed me a glass of punch.

"You've been standing up against the wall the whole night." She was definitely the dominant energy in our relationship, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

"Sorry. It's been a long, complicated night."

"It doesn't have to be. I can make it easy for you." Because you're easy, I thought. I wasn't trying to be offensive. She moved in like she was going to kiss me, but I ducked away. "What?"

"Come on, maybe later, Meredith. We're both here with other people tonight. Maybe we should focus on that."

"You keep changing your mind. No wonder you swing both ways." That comment stung a little, but I decided to let it go unaddressed.

"I-I don't know. I don't know how I feel right now... My emotions are just, like, all crazy."

"You sound like a girl."

"Sorry," I said, because I didn't know what she wanted me to say. I never knew what Meredith expected from me. Being called a girl was a lot less satisfying than being called melodramatic.

"I'll give you a blow job later."

"What?"

"Straight people love it, gay people love it. It's a compromise."

"That's not how it works."

"That's how it can work. Fine, do whatever you want tonight. But come home with me, and take me up on my offer." She slinked away, before I had time to formulate a response. Ricky came up behind me and said,

"What was that?"

"I don't know. But I'm 99% sure that Meredith's a total slut."

"What's the 1% you're waiting for? She's definitely a slut, man. There's no question. Not like Penny, who leads you on with her stupid knee socks..."

"That knee sock thing is totally a myth."

"Yeah, I know that now, because she didn't give you the goods. Meredith will, though. Don't you like her?"

"No. But I think I could get used to her."

"Good. Let your dick make your decisions, not your brain."

"With my brain? That might actually be a good idea." The next slow song came on, and I knew it was going to be the last, because they typically only played two. It was "Crazier" by Taylor Swift, a cheesy country song from the Hannah Montanna movie. I would never understand their choices.

"If that really is Dylan's dad in the DJ booth, I'm going to have a few words with him the next time I go over there," I told Ricky.

"There's no way that's Dylan's dad. Dylan's old man might be drunk half the time, but he knows better than to play this shit." Penny marched up to me- she was smiling, but had a telltale line of mascara under her eyes.

"Hey!"

"Hey," I said.

"Are you still my date?"

"I guess."

"Come dance with me," she said, not phrasing it like a question, for fear of me saying no. I mumbled something unintelligible, and followed her to a place on the dancefloor that I knew she strategically chose because it was out of Meredith's view. I saw that Jose, Sophie, Jacob, and Ricky had gathered at the table, talking in hushed whispers, but never tearing their eyes away from us.

My arms circled her waist, she put hers around my neck, pulling us closer than the Academy would've approved of, if any of the chaperones had been paying attention. Five Bible lengths apart- that's what we joked the standard was.

"I'm sorry," she said, thinking that was a good place to start. "I know you don't want to be doing this." I didn't say anything for a moment.

"No, it's okay."

"Am I really that bad?"

"No, it's not that. It's just- I don't know. It's really complicated. I'm confused. Look, I'm sorry. Jose told me you were crying in the bathroom, and-" She stopped smiling, for the first time since we had started the dance.

"I'm sorry. I mean, I didn't want you to know about that. I didn't do that to try and make you feel bad. I told myself you were going to come here and ignore me, and I thought I wouldn't care. I told myself not to care, and..." I could tell she was getting worked up again. Her face was contorting, and she was choking back tears, so I interrupted, to save her the embarrassment.

"Look, I got involved with someone else. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen."

"You never even gave me a chance."

"I know. And I'm sorry. You deserve better, you deserve so much better," I kept saying over and over again, because it was so true. Then, without meaning to, I became angry again: "You don't have any right to get mad at me. I told you it was over." She didn't look at me for a second, but then I thought I caught a glimpse of a tear, so I backtracked.

"I swear to God I'll never understand how you can stand there, and see I'm crying... and not do anything at all," she said. Our faces were so close, almost touching, so I pulled her in just a little closer, and pressed my lips softly against her own. It was light and quick, but still, a kiss, and I prayed Meredith didn't see.

The song was over, but we were still standing there, and our friends were still watching us, from across the room. My arms dropped from around her waist, but she still held on to me. I didn't know why.

"I'm sorry," I said, one last time. "You deserve better." Then we embraced for a long moment. When she pulled away, I returned to my friends, and she went back to hers, but we didn't see each other again for the rest of the night.