Hell.

Hell is an understatement of what Lena is putting us through right now. She was not wrong when she said that we had a long day ahead of us.

So far we have been running for an hour, running back and forth between here and one of the boarders. The hilly and rock path to the boarder.

We run without stopping, no breaks allowed because anyone chasing you won't give you a chance to take a break. We do however run as a group.

We run together, if someone starts lagging behind we all slow our pace. But no one can stop, not even for a second. I am loving this, as much as I hate it. There is just something about pushing yourself that makes me feel so happy. That and well I am happy about the fact that Natalie is struggling.

She is the slowest wolf in our group at the moment, I guess she never had to train when she lived in our old pack.

Lena just rolled her eyes at Natalie as we all ran on the spot waiting for her to catch up with us. My wolf loved this, but she would be happier when if I could let her out and she could be the one running around crazy here.

"How are you liking this?" Lena asked looking over at Natalie.

"I'm loving it!" We both laughed at that. I think Lena picked up on my dislike for Natalie and I believe that she feels the same way.

"Alright, when we get back to the training grounds everyone have a drink and stretch out and get ready." Lena smirked. I don't know if I want to get ready for what she has planned for us.

Lena and I raced each other on the run back, both wanting to outdo the other. Even though we only met an hour ago, I feel as though we are going to be fast friends.

There is just something about her that my wolf and I like. We pushed ourselves racing back, she says that it ended in a tie but I know that I won this race.

Taking a drink out of the bottle of water that I have I see the males run past us, all carrying logs over their backs shirtless. I catch myself looking at Zane. Trailing my eyes up and down his body as sweat glistens off his body, my eyes appreciate everything he has on offer right now as I watch the muscles in his body flex with the effort he is using.

He catches me looking at him as he drops the log from his shoulders, as he looks straight at me. Licking his lips at the sight of me. Even though I must look like a mess. I am drenched in sweat, clothing sticks to my body and I am sure that I have leaves and small twigs throughout my hair.

I feel the need to walk over to him, but I cant, not in this moment with so many eyes to watch and judge us. I need to talk to him in private and figure out what we are to each other.

We need to put up boundaries but that feels impossible right now, my body just wants to feel his touch. I want to feel his touch.

I want to be wanted in this moment of time.

"Luce." Lena's voice calls me away from appreciating the male before me. She walks over following my line of sight.

"He is one impressive sight to look at isn't he?" She muses

"Mmmhmm." Is all I can respond back, I can't find my words right now looking at that male.

"Are you ready to start the sparing part of our day or do I need to leave you alone with your fingers." She wiggles her brows at me suggestively.

"No!" I blurt out blushing bright red. "No, I am ready." I try to regain some form of composure as she laughs at me.

"It's fine, Andrew told me what he is to you the big gossip that he is. I'm only playing." She continues to giggle as she throws an arm around my shoulders directing me back over to the females without another look at the wolf I want to sprint over to.

How can I feel this way for a wolf that I don't know? I didn't think possible bonds were meant to affect us this much.

Trying my hardest to push Zane from my mind I walked with Lena to where all the other females where waiting. Catching a glimpse of Natalie she looked as though she was ready to pass out on the ground. Already completely exhausted from todays activity.

Lena had us par up with someone of similar strength Natalie with one of the younger wolves and me, well I am lucky and get to work with Lena herself. What we are doing right now I wouldn't consider sparing.

We are just practising moves, no intent to harm one another. Both defensive and offensive moves, learning to become fluid and confident in these movements just in case the unthinkable ever happens and we need to know these things.

Before I knew it Lena was dismissing some of the females a little more then half of the group leaves us. These are the females that prefer jobs in the home, teaching, cooking and looking after the pups. Not everyone here as a job, some just look after their families leaving their mates to provide for them.

Out of the females who remain they are all getting excited for something I am in the dark about. I follow Lena over to where the males are, they are finishing up with some weights, holding so much that I whine for them as I watch half of them hold the weights and the other half watching with eyes like hawks just in case one cant hold the weight.

We walk over to rings that have been drawn on the ground as the males begin to approach us. Rumbles sound out of chests as some males walk up to the mates, liking what they are seeing. Other rumbles are of excitement for what is going to happen.

I stand back, watching as people file into rings and begin to rain down fury on one other. For the most part it is male against male, female against female. But there are some who are willing to fight the opposite sex. Lena is one of them. I watch her has she more then happily steps into the ring with Andrew.

Lucas comes up to stand next to me. We both watch on. Andrew has raw strength but Lena is quick, she strikes like a snake, she knows where it will hurt and hits those points quickly and often.

Andrew grows frustrated he is bigger then her, everyone can see it clearly, if he pins her down with all of his weight she will lose. But Lena doesn't let that happen. She moves around him jumping on his back knocking him down. She pushes her weight on him as she locks her arms around his next not allowing him access to oxygen until he taps out.

This continues until it is time to lets the wolves out. The wolves here attack without mercy. But they know when to stop, they do not go for the kill.

Today Lucas and I would be sparing, having the others watch us so they can properly group us to our skill level. It is nerve racking having so many eyes on me.

"Are you ready for this?" He whispers in my ear us two others exit the ring.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I am ready, I just don't want him to know this. My wolf needs this, we haven't train in almost two weeks and she misses the fight.

Lucas and I stepped into the ring each of us rolling our shoulders as we prepared ourselves. A lot was riding on this, Lucas needed to prove himself to the pack, that he was fit for his birth right. And I just want to prove that I am strong enough, that I don't need protection.

That I belong in a pack and that I will not be their burden.

We take a moment as we size each other up. We know each other very well. We have fought each other so many times now that we know that this will not be easy. Not with so much on the line for each of us.

I watch him closely, I need to get a good hit on his left ankle and right shoulder. Those are his two weakest points. I have learnt this from our spars with Devin.

But he has also learnt my weaknesses. He knows that the third rib on the right side cracks easily, that I favour my left. That I attack harder with my right leg and fist.

I know that he is stronger then me but I know that if I pin him he won't get up. We know too much about one another that if it came down to a real fight we would both end up losing.

I let Lucas make the first move I take the first hit. He is a cocky wolf and that will be his downfall. He always gets to full of himself if he has the upper hand at the beginning. I let him hit me twice before I strike like a viper. I go for a jab to his ribs shocking him before I kick at his left ankle. He groans and falls slightly before he manages to kick my legs out from under me.

All the wolves are watching us, seeing what they are up against for when we officially become pack members.

I spring up quickly and growl at him, my wolf wanting to surface. But this isn't her time, not yet anyway. Lucas growls back as we walk around in a circle watching I see that my hits have hurt him, he is trying to hide it but I know when he is in pain. I launch myself at him and hit him over and over again, but he isn't going down without a fight. I take a few hits to the face, ribs and hips. Really anywhere he can hit me.

We go blow for blow until eventually it is all over and another pair step into the ring.

After the training is all done everyone leaves and heads out to shower and go off either to their jobs or back home to relax, I still don't have one but I know Andrew was coming with me to see if I would like to help the hunters, or the trackers. Possibly even both.

I have no idea what I want to do, what I am even good at. I feel as if the wolf knows her calling but I do not. It is like whatever she is telling me is lost in translation.

Walking back to the house, I make it inside first with Lucas grumbling because he lost to me once again.

I shower quickly washing off all the blood, dirt and grime watching the water run from crimson to pink until it finally turn clear. Getting out I threw on a comfortable t-shirt dress and some slip on shoes. If I was going to be trailing jobs I would be in my wolf form more then my human form and I wanted something that was easy to slip out of when I shift.

A knock alerted me that Andrew was at the door, I walk out but I could smell that it wasn't Andrew it was Zane. He was waiting at our door.

Thankfully Lucas answers the door first greeting him. Zane speaks to him, but his eyes are on me. "I thought Andrew was coming." I blurt out. I see Zane's face drop a bit but it is barely noticeable. You had to be looking to notice it.

"Andrew got called to deal with some pack business so you are stuck with me." He tries to joke but it doesn't come off light and breezy. "Father said that you are to work with Andrew, see if the position fits you." Zane looks at Lucas.

Lucas swallows, I don't think he feels ready for this. "Will you be okay." His voice pops into my head. His eyes showing concern for me. We haven't spoken about it, but he is worried about Zane and I.

"I'll be fine." I smile lying to the both of us.

"Where is he?" Lucas asks

"In his office, my father will be waiting to talk to you both about what is to happen with the two of you." He isn't giving away any information.

I wonder if Lucas will be his Beta. The two of them will need a really good relationship built on trust and right now they don't have one. Zane and Andrew have that.

Will Zane take everything away from him? What was Andrew originally meant to do? Was he a second beta who just stepped up, a warrior? There is still so much that I don't know.

Lucas leaves quickly talking his computer bag rushing to get to where he needs to be. No doubt stopping to see Natalie first. We need to talk about her when he gets back. Her neediness could ruin everything for him.

Zane and I just stare at each other for a while, neither knowing what to say. I try to avoid eye contact with him, but he follows my eyes everywhere.

"Have you been avoiding me?" he asks with his head bowing down just slightly, he doesn't want my answer but he needs to know it.

"No, well maybe a little." I mumble out not really wanting to admit it to him.

"They told you didn't they?"

I look into his eyes they hold his demons in them, demons he hasn't faced yet. I can't find my words so I just barely nod yes.

Zane lets out the tense breath he has been holding in nodding and thinking to himself. "Well we better be on our way." He speaks without emotion, that Alpha training coming into use. He doesn't want me knowing how he fells. But I want to know.

I need to start out asking him questions before I can get him to open up. "Why are you taking me today?" The question seems innocent enough.

"Because as I part of my training I have to work with everyone who better to show you the ropes then someone who knows it all." He shrugged as my mouth just formed an 'o' shape.

I followed when we shifted running towards somewhere that I still don't know. I am going to need a guide for a while until I can find my bearings. I kept my distance I didn't want to push my luck with him or the wolf. I don't know how emotional he is right now.

We went over to a group of trackers first I met the lead tracker and his son. They were both all legs and lanky as hell. They looked as though they hadn't filled out yet, but that's just male trackers in general. They are skinny but as fast as a bullet. They showed me some of what they do and I enjoyed it before I had to go off and meet with some of the hunters.

Again I enjoyed the work with them but I stuck closer to Zane while with them. I got an off feeling with the way some of them were looking at me. Looking at me like I could be there next meal.

The day was starting to come to an end when Zane lead me back home. We shifted and changed by some of the trees close to the front door giving each other privacy. "It'll be the same tomorrow." Zane spoke again without emotion.

"Okay." I nodded a little upset that I didn't really get to talk to him. But that is just this little spark of a bond playing with me.

I watched as he jogged off into the night, not shifting back into his wolf form.

As I entered the house I could smell food making my mouth water, it smelt so good that I knew that Loretta was over and cooking. She greeted me as I slipped my shoes off, rubbing her cheek against mine. I walked into the kitchen telling her about my day. Lucas was by the table, he looked frustrated with Natalie trying to soothe him.

We ate the delicious meal quickly all of us starved. There wasn't a lot of conversation, or there was and I just wasn't paying much attention. After I finished I thanked Loretta for the meal and took myself to bed. I was dead tried and I just wanted to sleep for the next thousand years.

*

Sleep wasn't as peaceful as I liked. I tossed and turned well into the night. Until I heard a tapping at my window. At first I thought I imagined it until it got louder.

I grumbled as I went to see what was going on. "I swear if this is some horror movie shit I am killing everyone around here." I whispered

I opened up my curtains to see nothing at all there. Looking around, maybe I really did just imagine it. Until I saw glowing hazel eyes pop up from nowhere. I jumped back in shock feeling like I just had a heart attack until I realised that it was just Zane.

Zane who I wanted to kill right now.

What in moons name was he doing here at good knows how late at night. What couldn't wait until morning?

I slid my window opened. "What are you doing here?" I whispered more harshly then what I intended it to be.

"I just want to talk." He whispered back with a hint of sadness in his voice.

Do I go and talk with him?

Why the hell not.

"Okay." I answered as I climbed out the window. I assume that this is a conversation that he wants to have in private. Without any ears that may listen in.

I followed him into the forest once again, this time we didn't go too far them the house. I could still see the smoke rising from the chimney. We stood against a tree each, just a few steps away from each other.

Not too close but not far away either.

"So I guess you know everything?" Zane was the first to talk.

"I know what I needed to know." I know that I don't know everything, everything between him and that female is more complicated then I think anyone knows.

"I guess that's fair as I know more about you then what you have told me." He shrugged. His eyes looked so sad in the moonlight, she must have really hurt him.

"I really loved her, with everything I had in me. I knew it wasn't meant to last forever deep down, but I hoped it did." I wonder if anyone knows this part to the story that he is telling me.

"She was liked, but at the same time many thought that she was completely wrong for me and I can see that now. When she left." He paused, he is having trouble with this story. I take a step closer to him and put my hand on his forearm in what I hope is a comforting way.

He smiles briefly at me. "When she left I thought I died. I was numb and just going through the motions never really here, when she came back it was like a little bit of air was breathed back into my lungs. The wolf didn't trust her. But I wanted to with every fibre of my being, looking back I should of trusted the wolf." His pain right now feels like it is my pain. He is shaking as he relives everything.

"You don't have to tell me." I whisper as I moved closer to him and hug him. I don't know why I did it, I guess I feel like he does. I'm here and I am grateful to be alive, but I am not really living.

"I need to tell someone." He whispers as he wraps his arms around me for a moment before pulling back.

"I almost died that night when she did, I know that she felt nothing for me, I don't know if she ever did. I mean she left me without a second thought. I do understand that a real mate bond is a thousand times stronger then this." He points between the two of us. "But to leave without even telling me." His voice sounds as if he is fighting back tears.

"It took a long time to start living again, everyone was scared that I would take my own life, but one day I just realised that she was not worth that. But to this day everyone walks on eggshells around me, they try to hide it from me, but I see it in their eyes. Watching every move I make. I know that they wish that I met my true mate, not a possible mate again. I know that they don't want us getting close." He pulls me back to him.

"But the think is, you make me feel completely alive again, before you got here I was still in a way going through the motions, but you woke something up in my wolf. I know that we aren't meant to be together. But now you have me thinking that I can live again.

"In a way you have saved my life from being empty, even though we barely know each other. But we have both been through something terrible. I feel like I can talk to you and you will understand." He pulls back again.

"I, uh..." I don't know what to say to that.

"Don't worry, I am not after anything you aren't able to give me. I just feel like a kindred spirit with you. That you can be the friend I need, not the lover that I want."

How do I reply to something like that?

"You don't have to say anything. I just need you as a friend, as my light in the darkness until I am ready to find her." I see it in him, the longing for a companion.

I know that look well as I have it too, even if I don't want to admit it to anyone.

Including myself.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Here we go, another chapter done and dusted! I hope you enjoyed it, let me know your thoughts on everything.

Next chapter we go through a time jump and a feels trip so get ready now.

And I am thinking of entering this story in the wattys, what do you guys think of that? do you think the story has a chance?

Happy readings!