We all slept together in Devin's house that night including Alice, all of us girls where in one of the spare bedrooms while all of the boys where with Devin in his room. Well, that was until the nightmares came and we all bunkered down in the living room together with movies on to distract our minds.

Both of them didn't want us to be alone tonight and I couldn't blame them, I didn't want to be alone tonight. Not after reliving everything again.

Everything that is the nightmare of a place that I am trying desperately hard to forget.

They were both furious when we got into the house slamming doors and snarling, throwing around profanities that I didn't even know existed. They did tell us that when we all locked ourselves away in our minds they figured out that we had been locked away for about four years.

Four years, that would make me 20 now... I feel so old yet so naïve at the same time, I discovered that Lucas was the same age as me, Alan was now 22 and Wanda was the youngest of us all. She was only 19; they took a young 15-year-old girl away from her family. What kind of sick monsters do that?

It wasn't fair, we had all been taken at such young ages, and we had lost a chunk of our lives and for what? No one knows why, no one even has an idea.

Alice and Devin had been talking amongst themselves about how we had all been taken away from our cells to have our blood taken but they couldn't figure out why. What was so special about our blood?

"That fake bitch will make sure that our spineless Alpha doesn't even look into this!" Alice snarled. She really doesn't like the Alpha couple that's for sure.

"Alice." Devin warned giving her a look to shut the hell up. I don't remember much about the way of pack life but I sure as hell know that disrespecting any one of a higher rank is a big no-no.

"Lets just... just try and get some sleep we all need it for tomorrow." Alice sighed making herself a comfortable nest of pillows that are piled all around her. I laughed under my breathe at her, sometimes I forget that she is still young and things need to be how she likes it, such as having seven pillows. She sleeps on three and has two on either side of her.

All while the rest of us are happy with just having one single pillow.

I couldn't sleep at all, every time I closed my eyes I saw it all again, I saw the torture and I saw my brothers dying. I just couldn't shut my eyes and see that, unlike Wanda who as soon as her head hit the pillow fell asleep.

I have learnt that she can sleep through anything, such as three wolves trying to help a vampire who had lost his mind temporarily because he hadn't had enough blood in his system. We even all fell through her door. But did she wake up? Nope. Sometimes I wonder how she does wake up when Alan has his nightmares.

Alan was awake, but he was lost in his own world. He always slips into his mind and it is like he doesn't hear a word any of us say. Devin was softly snoring away he has to be exhausted he has been looking after all of us, he has become like a father to all four of us overnight. I know that he walks around our little cabin multiple times a night, and he always runs over when he can hear one of us have a nightmare.

He is getting less sleep then all of us.

That just left Lucas and I, he was lying down next to me playing with all the loose threads of his woollen blanket, or should I say make the loose strands worse.

I sighed as I lay down and turned to face him, he pulled me closer to him and I rested my head on his chest. "That was... that was something else." He whispered as he started to stroke my hair.

"Yeah." I breathed out. "It was terrible."

"I cant believe how much I had hidden from myself, how much I had locked away." He admitted to me. "I just want to lock it away again, but if I do that, I forget Bianca and all she did to protect me, I forget just how much she loved me." I heard him sniffle has he continued to stroke my hair.

"I know, I feel the same way. And I feel, I feel guilty that they gave up everything for us." Lucas stopped stroking my hair and instead he hugged me. He didn't know what to say to that. But I will admit the hug was just what I needed even if he was hugging me so tightly that I could barely breathe.

If anyone saw us like this they would think that we were together, but I feel nothing like that for him at all, to be honest I look at him and I feel like I'm with Conner again. He will never take his place but he feels like my fun and carefree brother.

"We shouldn't feel guilty." He whispered in my hair.

"I know, but I cant turn these feelings off, I am thankful that I am alive, but what was the cost?"

Lucas was silent after that for a moment before he whispered so low that I could barely hear him. "We are here for a reason." I can't help but agree with him, everything does happen for a reason, but what was the reason for all of this?

"We need to sleep, tomorrow will take a lot out of us both." I couldn't help but hum in agreement has he pulled me closer to him, I always feel safer with him, just like he does with me. And somehow, with Lucas sleep always finds me, it can take awhile but I always get some sleep.

Like normal Lucas feel asleep first, I could tell by the way his chest started rising and falling slower then before and I could feel his breathe on my hair. He always sleeps with his mouth open and then complains about his dry and sore throat in the morning.

*

Lucas and I woke before everyone else, our wolves were on edge wanting to be let out, it was like they had a calendar and had today written down as the day they get out.

I was nervous about today, I remember wanting to die during my first shift, as I couldn't deal with pain very well back then. Would today be just like that? I am so much weaker then what I was back then. I think Lucas was feeling the same way as he was more withdrawn today, not his usual talkative self. Or that could be due to our conversation last night.

My wolf was pacing around in my mind pushing me to get up and get out of this house, she wanted to be let out now. She would occasionally snap at me when I told her to wait.

I got up to have a quick shower to clam my nerves and hopefully settle my wolf down a bit. Lucas looked at me when I got up and started heading for the door. Questioning me on what I was doing.

"Shower." Was my one word response has I almost sprinted to our cabin, if she couldn't get out she was sure as hell going to make me run for her.

I turned the hot tap on as far as it would go and jumped in, hoping that the heat would melt my bones and wash me down the drain with the rest of the grime and dirt on my body.

I washed myself quickly not bothering to really try, I would need another one after I shift anyway, I will be covered in blood and dirt by the end of today.

I got dressed quickly into the black leggings, a black t-shirt and a grey hoodie, I wanted to be comfortable today as I slipped on some Nike running shoes that Alice had leant me.

I ran back up to the house and was welcomed by the delicious smell of bacon. Who doesn't love bacon? I run through the door and saw one very big breakfast being prepared for us. There was bacon and eggs already on the table with hash browns that Alice was frying up while complaining that frying food still wasn't healthy even if we are supernatural creatures. Which made me laugh a little bit. Devin was pulling out some cinnabons from the over that made my mouth water just at the sight of them.

"Damn that looks good." Lucas stated as he walked out from the bathroom here drying his hair with a towel. He walked over to Devin and dipped his finger in the icing to witch Alice threw some tongs that were on the bench at him which made everyone including Wanda and Alan laugh.

If you were to look in at this scene you would think that we were all normal, that nothing bad has ever happened to any of us.

When all of the food was cooked we all ate it up in a second, there were no leftovers left at all.

"We decided that we are going to let you guys shift tonight, under the moon so that her pull makes it easier on the two of you, and because it is the first full moon of the this cycle her pull will be stronger." Alice spoke as she had a bite of her bacon and egg muffin.

Lucas and I just nodded, I didn't want to think about it until it was time for it to happen.

The day was spent with Devin and Alice watching us like hawks and yelling at us when we used 'too much energy' that we would need for later tonight and filling us up with food that we would need in our bellies.

We spent the day watching movies, we went old school Disney, watching the movies we watched as pups. The lion king was definitely my favourite followed by the little mermaid. It was a nice day, well it would have been if my wolf wasn't pushing me and starching at my brain, barking and yelling at me to let her out. She didn't like being told to wait.

I couldn't eat dinner when it came time for it, my nerves were too much for me to keep the food down. I had two bites of some roast potato and then went running for the bathroom, instead I was made to drink some water with protein in it.

It tasted absolutely disgusting, but what doctor Alice says you must do. Or so she says.

Soon it was time, Alice and Devin had already found a good spot for us, it was in an open meadow a far bit away from Devin's place and definitely far away from the pack as Devin already lives far away from the pack.

I had to keep pushing my wolf back as we walked there, she was excited and at this moment she didn't care about what was good for us.

The moon was high in the sky, I think Devin said it was 11 o'clock. He and Alice had set up blankets and ice, with coolers of water for us both, it reminded me of what my brothers did for my first shift. I just hope that it is nowhere near as painful has that one.

They had a spot for each of us, Alice and Wanda were waiting by one rug for me as Devin and Alan were waiting by the other one for Lucas.

I still feel like they are over prepared for this, I don't think we will need the ice, with how my wolf is feeling she will break through my skin in a second to let herself out and with how fidgety Lucas has been all day I think his wolf feels the exact same way.

"Are you both ready?" Alice asked, concern lacing her voice has her eyes looked us both up and down accessing us.

"No." I laughed nervously as Lucas agreed, we were both definitely not ready for this but our wolves were.

I walked over to Alice and started taking my clothes off, I didn't want to rip Alice's clothes into shreds she was nice enough to give them to me.

I took a deep breathe as I gave my wolf the go ahead, she yipped at me and started to push her way through.

I felt it immediately, the pain. My body was not prepared for this, I screamed out at almost the exact same time Lucas did. I looked over at him and saw him with sweat already dripping down his face, it had only been a minute and he was sweating, probably trying to hold back more screams, which I was just letting out.

Alice looked at me with sympathy in her eyes. I know that if she could find a way for us to not go through this pain she would have done it.

I felt my arm twist and break behind me, but I refused to look, if I learnt anything from my first shift it is you do not look at what is happening to your body. Which I think Lucas forgot as I heard him throw up.

I kept my eyes squeezed tightly shut as I felt almost every bone in my body break and realign into a different position, one which my wolf would soon be in. I felt her apologising to me for this pain, but it was one lame ass apology, she was desperate to get out at this point.

I let out another scream as what felt like needles came pushing through my skin. As much as our fur is soft, it does not feel like it at this moment. The next thing I felt were my teeth coming through, sharp predatory teeth that could cut straight through bone. I could taste the blood filling up in my mouth that I was forced to spit out.

But I knew that I was coming close to the end of this, I hadn't taken any of the water that Alice begged me to drink and I didn't need any of the ice, I wasn't feeling overly hot like I did on my first shift. It wasn't even taking as long this time, it just hurt as much as the first time.

I screamed out again and again as the last of my bones cracked and broke as more fur pushed through my skin. Before I knew it, I was standing on four legs. Four very shaky legs but still, my wolf was out and she couldn't have been happier about that even if she still felt the leftover pain of the shift itself.

I looked over to Lucas who was in his wolf form now as well. He was golden just like his hair. You can tell just by looking at him that he was built to be a strong wolf, just like Devin who had also shifted and like Lucas was a golden wolf. Of course there wolves would look the same, they look almost the same now.

Lucas ran over to my wolf and yipped and her to which she responded. She walked closer to him and rubbed her cheek against his to which he also returned the action. They spent a moment bonding, they were drawn to each other just like we were. They felt the bond of a surrogate family.

Alice ran over to us, she had shifted into her small black coloured wolf with one white sock on her back left paw. She was an adorable little wolf that mine instantly took a likening to.

I looked down at myself and felt pride when I saw my chocolaty coloured fur, I can guarantee that I still had my black ears and the white stripe between my eyes going down from my forehead to the tip of my nose.

Devin and Alice were now trying to play with our wolves, something mine was definitely excited for. She missed being around wolves that she felt close to.

Alice bolted off into the forest to which mine instantly chased her, I let her have this time and sat back in our mind. She deserves some fun. The four of us left Alan and Wanda in the meadow as they started to clean up and take everything back home. I heard the laughing at us as we all played like we had all just shifted for the first time ever.

I forgot just how much I missed this, everything in this form was natural to me, running and leaping over everything to chasing and paying with the other wolves.

We spent the whole night like this and I loved it, we ran and played until the sunrise started to climb up into the sky and we took that as our sign to head home. Alice shifted back to her skin first as we approached the cabin, opening the door for us all and helped me to my bedroom. I shifted back to my skin, which my wolf wasn't entirely happy about but she was exhausted and knew that we needed to rest.

I cried out a little as I shifted from fur to skin, it was painful but not as bad as I thought it would be. All I want to do now is sleep for a very long time.

But Alice had other thoughts, she dragged me to the shower to wash away all of the dirt, leaves and twigs from my body before letting me go to a long awaited sleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Okay! firstly I apologise I really thought I posted this a week ago before I was whisked away on a surprise holiday so I am sooooooo sorry but hey, I had a great time camping in the absolute middle of nowhere with a bunch of friends.

And secondly, I hope you liked this one and I am sorry that it is a little shorter then what the others have been.

And get yourselves ready we are about to experience a time jump next chapter not long, only 2 months and I know, I know people don't like time jumps but it is needed.

So as a treat here is a picture of Devin.
This is one hunk of a man