Do or do not. There is no try.

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Leon's POV

            Ghost was calling me, but I was not answering his calls. Wala ako sa mood na makipag-utuan sa kanya. I was pissed because of what happened tonight. I was pissed at Johnny, I was pissed at him, I was angry because Johnny harassed Vie, and I remembered Ghost was flirting with her too. That damn old man. Hindi na lang maghanap ng ka-edad niya.

            Napa-aray ako habang pinapalitan ng gauze ang sugat kong napadugo ni Johnny kanina. Tinapunan ko ng tingin ang white long sleeves polo na suot ko kanina at punong-puno ng dugo iyon. Napabuga ako ng hangin habang marahang pinapatungan pa ulit ang sugat ng gasa. Mabuti na nga lang at hindi bumuka ang tahi.    

            Napahiga ako sa kama at tumitig sa salamin. Wala sa loob na sinalat ko ang labi ko. I could still feel Vie's lips. Her soft lips that were kissing me back. I was expecting her to push me away, hated what I was doing, but she was kissing me back. She was sucking my tongue, pushing me against her. She liked what I was doing to her.

            Mahina akong napamura. Iniangat ko ang ulo at napatingin ako sa pagitan ng hita ko at kitang-kita ko ang pamumukol noon. Damn it. Hindi na ba ito kakalma? Kanina pa ito nang matikman ko ang labi ni Vie.

            Just fuck her, Leon. What's keeping you from fucking her? She is your prize. You can fuck her anytime you want.

            My mind was having a showdown too. Bakit nga ba? Kung tutuusin ay puwedeng-puwede naman talaga. The reason? Because I don't want to be the old Leon anymore. I don't want to be the animal that people were afraid of inside the cage. I am Dustin Matias. An agent, a loving father. I already buried Leon Deaver Kaestner. The ruthless animal that kills people inside the cage. The beast that every woman was trying to get on bed after every fight. I am way past that stage. I am a new person. Dustin Matias was a new person.

            But being with Vie, she was waking up every part of Leon. Every animalistic ritual that I had before, and I don't want that. I don't want her to see what kind of a man I was before. I changed and I don't want to be Leon anymore.

            Napabuga ako ng hangin at bumangon sa kama. Pero mukhang malabo kong magawa na makawala pa pagbabalik ni Leon. Ghost put me in this hole again. He was the reason why I was becoming an animal again. And every part of being Leon was coming back. The rage, the brutality, the heartlessness. If Brandon didn't stop me, Johnny would be dead by now.

            That was why even I was afraid of myself. Because I knew what I could do. Even if they kept on telling me that I could fuck Vie because she was my prize. I don't want to do it. I don't want her to see the horror of what I could do on bed if I was being Leon.

            Tuluyan akong tumayo mula sa kama at dinampot ko ang bote ng whiskey na nakita ko doon at tumungga. Kailangan kong pakalmahin ang sarili ko. Kung ano-ano ang pumapasok sa isip ko. Kailangan kong may gawin. Kinuha ko ang baril ko sa bag at ang panglinis noon. Ito na nga lang ang gagawin ko. Maglilinis na lang ako ng baril para kumalma ako.

            Lumabas ako ng silid at tahimik na tahimik na ang paligid. Napatingin ako sa kuwarto ni Vie at sigurado akong nagpapahinga na rin ito. Mabuti nga iyon. Ayaw ko na muna siyang makita. Huwag ngayong gabi.

            Inilatag ko ang mga gamit na dala ko sa mesa. Kinalas ang bawat parte ng baril at nilinis iyon. Tapos ay ini-assemble ko ulit. Ilang beses ko pang kinasa tapos ay kinakalabit ang gatilyo. Ang bilis ko naman natapos linisin. Nakaka-bored. Kinalas ko ulit. Ini-assemble ulit.

            Gusto ko nang murahin ang sarili ko. Ganito na ba ako ka-loser? Kailangan kong magkalas at mag-assemble ng baril paulit-ulit para lang mawala ang kung anong init na nararamdaman ko? Inis kong dinampot ang bote ng whisky at muling tumungga doon. Kahit ano kasing gawin ko, talagang bumabalik sa isip ko ang halikan namin kanina ni Vie.

            Because she was liking it. Remember how she sucked your tongue while you were kissing her. She loved what you were doing. Trust me. She liked it rough.

            Jesus fucking Christ. Hindi ba titigil ang utak ko sa pagbibigay ng idea? Buwisit. Umayos ako ng upo dahil pakiramdam ko ay naninikip ang pantalon ko dahil sa paninigas nang nasa pagitan ng hita ko.

            Napakunot ang noo ko at napatingin sa nakasaradong silid ni Vie. May umuungol ba?

            Nakiramdam akong mabuti at tumingin sa paligid. Kaming dalawa lang naman ang tao dito. Nakarinig uli ako ng mahinang ungol. Tumayo na ako at lumapit sa kuwarto ni Vie. Idinikit ang tainga sa pinto. Sigurado ako na doon nanggagaling iyon.

            Yes. She was definitely moaning. Alangan namang multo. Hindi ako naniniwala sa multo. Agad akong napalayo sa pinto at napatitig lang doon nang ma-realize ko kung anong puwede niyang gawin sa loob ng silid.

            Was she pleasuring herself? Touching herself with her fingers. Teasing her clit with her own digits while she slowly slides her middle finger inside her drenched hole? She was looking at me, letting me watch while she was doing that to herself. I could see how she wet was and my cock was surging inside my pants.

            "Shit." Napabuga pa ako ng hangin at naiiling na bumalik sa kinauupuan ko. No. Maybe she was dreaming. Masyado lang marumi ang isip ko kaya kung ano-ano ang naiisip kong imahe na ginagawa ni Vie. Gago talaga ako. Tiningnan ko ang baril ko at isinalpak ang magazine doon. Inasinta ko pa ang isang figurine na nakita ko. Iniisip kong mukha ni Johnny para mawala ang naisip ko kanina na puwedeng ginagawa ni Vie.

            Hanggang sa makarinig ako ng parang may naglaglagan at nagkabasag sa loob ng kuwarto ni Vie tapos ay malakas na tunog na parang nahulog sa sahig. Agad akong tumayo at sinalya ko ang pinto ng kuwarto niya para mabuksan iyon. Naka-kasa na rin ang baril ko para handa sa kung anong bubulaga sa akin na nangyayari sa loob ng kuwarto niya.

            Ang lakas ng sigaw ni Vie nang makita akong nakatayo sa pinto ng kuwarto niya. At ako? Nabulaga ako nang makita ko siyang nasa sahig at hubad na gulat na gulat na nakatingin sa akin.

            Hindi ko alam kung gaano kami katagal ni Vie na nakatanga lang sa isa't-isa. Pero ang mata ko ay naglalandas na sa buo niyang katawan. Vie got a beautiful body. Her breasts were natural. Her nipples were pink. Her curvy waist, her wide hips. Her long and smooth legs. And what's between her thighs was inviting too. Waxed and smooth. Napapikit-pikit lang siya nang makita na may hawak akong baril kaya natataranta siyang tumayo at kinuha ang comforter na nasa kama at ibinalot sa katawan niya.

            "What the hell are you doing?!" Bulyaw niya sa akin. "You have a gun!"

            "I-I..." what the fuck? I couldn't even say anything. Nakakataranta naman kasi talaga na may makitang babaeng hubad sa harap ko after months of not having sex with anyone.

            "Shit. You have a gun," lalong ipinulupot ni Vie ang comforter sa katawan niya.

            "I heard crashing in your room. I thought something bad happen to you," katwiran ko.

            Her face was red. Halatang hiyang-hiya sa nangyari.

            "What happened? Are you okay?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

            Napalunok lang si Vie at hindi na siya makatingin sa akin. "I-I had a bad dream." Iyon na lang ang sagot niya.

            Tinanggal ko sa pagkakakasa ang baril ko at inilapag iyon sa mesang naroon tapos ay lumapit kay Vie at dinampot ko ang mga naglaglagang mga gamit mula sa bedside table. Libro, nightlamp, display figures. Halatang natataranta pa rin kasi siya.

            "Must be a very bad dream. I heard you were moaning," komento ko habang patuloy sa pagdampot ng mga gamit doon.

            Mahinang napa-ehem si Vie at nakatayo pa rin doon. "Y-yes. Bad dream."

            Tumayo na ako sa harap niya nang matapos ko ang pagdampot ng mga gamit.

            "Bad dream." Napangisi ako. "Does that include me?"

            Kita kong lalong namula ang mukha ni Vie at sunod-sunod na umiling.

            "No? Then why are you blushing while looking at me?" Deretso akong tumingin sa mga mata niya at kita ko ang pagkataranta ni Vie.

            There you go, Leon. Fucking animal in you is waking up. Go on. You'll like it just like before.

            I walked towards her. Tried to remove the comforter that was wrapping her body. I wanted to see her nakedness again. I wanted to feast my eyes to that beautiful sight. She didn't flinch when I tried to tug away the comforter. She was looking at me. There was no fear in her eyes. She was looking at me and she was waiting of what I would do next.

            The animal in me was telling me to devour her immediately. She was naked in front of me. She was not afraid that my eyes were burning with desire while I was looking at her beautiful body. My cock was twitching inside my pants. My hands were trembling as if it has its own mind that wanted to touch every inch of her. 

            And I couldn't control it anymore. I pulled her closer and crashed my mouth to hers. Hungrily kissing her like I tasted her mouth for the first time. Just like before, she opened her mouth and welcomed my tongue. Her arms wrapped around my neck while our lips were still entwined. The heat between us was growing. The fire was igniting, and I knew there was nothing we could do to stop this. Our bodies wanted each other. It was like our bodies were created to fulfill our earthly desires. I could feel her need. Her moans while my tongue was inside her mouth. My hand was sliding at the curves of her body, and she was fucking perfect. Every inch of her was perfect.

            I pushed her against the bed and my whole weight follow on top her. Our lips not letting go of each other. The need of my body to fuck a woman was consuming. My desire for her ignited deep within me.

            I stopped kissing her and looked at her face. "Tell me about your dream." My hand was slowly tracing her curvy waist down to her hips and landed on her ass. I grabbed it and squeezed it. It was like a soft pillow that I wanted to crush repeatedly. It was nice to touch. So smooth. Rounded. I knew my palms would be perfect to smack her ass until it was sore to my sight.

            She was looking at me with fire in her eyes. She shook her head and I strongly flipped her to her stomach. I caressed her smooth back down to her ass. Squeezed it again and without a word I smacked hard her right butt cheek and it bounced back to my palm. She let out a moan. It was soft. Not a sound of someone wincing in pain. I saw the red marks of my palm. I did it again, and she let out a louder moan.

            "Tell me about your dream," I kissed the red marks on her butt cheek while my other hand was squeezing the other one.

            "N-no," she whispered.

            I raised a brow. No? No woman said no to me in bed. Usually, they were begging me to do anything to them. And I don't want to hear a word no or don't while I am fucking someone.

            I was kneeling on the bed encasing her legs between my knees. I removed my belt and grabbed her hand together. Tied both of her hand above her head using my belt while her face was still buried on the bed. She was not resisting. I could feel that she was wanting this.

            I pulled up her hips and I saw her slit glistening to its own wetness. I grabbed her butt cheeks again and buried my face in between. Licking her slit up to her ass then I smacked it again.

            "You're not going to tell me about your dream?" I slide my tongue over her wet slit while grabbing both of her butt cheeks.

            "No." She mumbled on the bed. I could feel the trembling of her body while I was licking her pussy. I smack her butt cheek again. The redness on her skin made by my palms was giving me the ultimate desire to do it more. I gave her butt another smack. Her moans were pleading. They were moans of lust and not from someone who was inflicted with pain. I didn't imagine that Vie has this kind of side. That she would want this kind of game, and it was giving me a total turn on.

            "Still no?" I touched her slit and my fingers almost slides inside her drenched hole. She was totally soaked. "You like this don't you? You like me smacking your ass?" I began to drag my fingers on the entrance of her slit. Teasing her of what could come next. "Tell me was it about me? Your dream. Was it dark?"

            She couldn't say any word. She was moaning and her body was moving trying to follow the tempo of my finger dragging over her pussy. I licked her slit again. Tasting her sweet juice while my finger continuously trying to tease her opening. I encircled my tongue around her clit, and I guess that put her to the edge.

            "Oh god..." she moaned. Her tied hand was grasping the bedsheets while I continuously devouring her pussy. I sucked her clit hungrily while my hands were firmly grabbing her ass. I loved how she tastes. I wanted to taste it all. Consumed all her wetness until my thirst was doused.

            Then I stopped with what I was doing. I flipped her body again and this time I could see her face. She was looking at me. Without fear, without inhibitions, without embarrassment.

            "You're not afraid of me?" I asked. I kissed her inner thighs ignoring her wet slit that I knew she wanted me to taste again.

            She shook her head and still looking at me.

            "Please. I want you to do that again." She pleaded.

            "Do what?" My mouth was planting soft kisses on her thighs. My hand was gently massaging her breasts while her hand was firmly bonded by the belt on top of her head.

            "I want you taste me again. Please... Just like in my dream." She was moaning. Her body was arching trying to give me her pussy so I could taste it again.

            I smiled naughtily. I knew it. I knew it was me in her dreams and I wanted to know how dirty her dream was. I wanted her to tell me so I could do it right now.

            "Tell me what I did." I dragged my lips over her wet pussy. Playing with her clit. Sucking it hungrily. Her body was moving non-stop. Her moans were shrouding the whole room.

            "Y-you are kissing me there. Just like that. God... just like that and it is good." I looked at her while I continuously devouring her pussy. Like a madman who was hungry for food in years. I love to see her distorted face trying to suppress the raw emotion that was clouding her.

            "What else happened in your dream?" I mumbled over her pussy as I suck her clit again.

            "There. Right there. Like that. Oh god... your tongue. It's so good. It feels wonderful. You are doing that in my dream. You're making me come. And then he touched me and he..."

            I immediately stopped with what I was doing then looked at her puzzled.

            Tama ba ang narinig ko? He?

            "Wait. He? I thought you were dreaming about me. Who the fuck is that he?" Taka ko.

Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit bigla akong nabuwisit na may sinasabi siyang 'he' bukod sa akin sa panaginip niya.

            Nakita kong namutla si Vie habang nakatingin sa akin. She tried to say something, but she couldn't say any word.

            "Tell me who the fuck is that he?" Kunot na kunot na ang noo ko.

            "Shit. Can we not talk about it? It was just a dream." Asar na sagot ni Vie. Nasira na ang mood naming dalawa. Painis ang ginawa niyang pagkuha sa comforter at itinabon sa katawan niya. "Alisin mo na nga ang belt na 'to." Ibinigay pa niya sa akin ang mga kamay niyang nakatali ng belt.

            Then I realized something.

            "What the fuck? Your dream was a fucking threesome?" Nanlalaki ang matang tanong ko sa kanya.

            Hindi man sumagot si Vie, kitang-kita ko ang sagot sa mukha niya dahil talagang nagkulay kamatis ang mga pisngi niya.