Loyalty isn't gray. It's black and white. You're either loyal completely or not loyal at all

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Vie's POV

            And I should be afraid.

            Leon was looking at me like a wild animal ready to devour me anytime. This was like what Johnny was doing to me. My father treated me. But how come, when it was Leon, I didn't feel any fear? Instead, I felt something different.

            There was the thrill. The feeling that it was the first time I met a man. There was something inside me that crept through my very core, and that was not fear.

            Shit. And I shouldn't feel this way. I kept on telling myself that Leon was like Johnny. But I'd admit it was a different feeling the moment when he was so near to me, and his face was so close to mine. I could feel the weight of his stare. I could smell his breath. It was like he was just showing that he wasn't nice at all, but he could show me a different side of him that would make me ask for more.

            My heart was pounding when he was staring at me like I was a meal he needed to consume. My eyes went down to his lips. And some tiny thought went inside my head.

            Is he going to kiss me?

            That was the reason my heart was pounding. The reason why I needed something to hold on to. Because his presence right in front of me made me tremble and weak.

            Saka lang ako nakahinga ng maluwag nang lumayo na siya sa akin. Gusto kong pagalitan ang sarili ko. Bakit ko naisip na hahalikan niya ako? At nakaramdam ako ng pagkadismaya na hindi niya ginawa iyon?

            Sinundan ko lang ng tingin si Leon nang lumabas siya ng kusina. Napabuga ako ng hangin para kalmahin ang sarili ko.

            "Shit." Mahina kong sabi at panay ang buga ng hangin nang maupo sa silyang kinauupuan ko kanina. What the hell was wrong with me?

            Hinawakan ko ang magkabila kong pisngi at bahagyang tinampal-tampal iyon na para bang matatauhan ako kapag ginawa iyon. Pumikit ako at huminga ng malalim. There was nothing wrong with me. It was just a different experience. I was used that Johnny was doing that to me, harassing me, threatening me, but for the first time I didn't get terrified. Maybe because it was a different man. Twenty-five years that no man can come near to me. Just Johnny and my father. Maybe that was the reason why I was feeling like this. Feeling something different for the first man that I got locked inside this house and thought was going to save me. Just like what I was feeling for Mr. Laxamana.

            Marahan kong hinilot-hilot ang ulo ko. Yes, I have a crush with Mr. Laxamana. I like him. But Leon? Damn it. He made my knees weak but definitely I don't like that asshole. If I wanted to have my first real kiss, I wanted it to be Mr. Laxamana. He was far different from that animal that was almost devoured me earlier.

            And he said he was going to fuck me? Please. I am not going to allow that. If I wanted to be fucked for the first time, I guess I wanted Mr. Laxamana too.

            Napagakagat-labi ako at nasalo ng mga kamay ang mukha. I am damn sick with that thought. Taken away from my father and being held with these strangers. Kung ano-ano na tuloy ang pumapasok sa isip ko.

            All right. Calm down, Vie. You need to focus. Nataranta ka lang. You are used being around those animals from the cage. Sanay ka sa mga fighters na ganyan. Hindi ang isang katulad lang ni Leon ang magpapagiba sa iyo. Nakaya mo ngang kasama si Johnny ng ilang taon.

            That was right. Leon just wanted something from me. He wanted to know my father's business. Legal and illegal. But why?

            Napakagat-labi ako at tumayo. Lalabas ako sa kusina pero hindi ko agad itinuloy. Sumilip muna ako para makita kung naroon si Leon. Nakita ko siyang nakatayo sa sala at may kausap sa telepono.

            "I never signed up for this. I thought when the fight is over, I am done too." Mahina ang boses niya nang sabihin iyon. Halatang-halata ang frustration sa mukha habang palakad-lakad sa gitna ng sala.

            "I can't stand that woman. She has a fucking crush on you," napangiwi pa siya nang sabihin iyon. Halatang iritable.

            He was talking to Mr. Laxamana. Ang my heart raced so fast thinking that Mr. Laxamana knew that I like him.

            Nakita kong lalong napasimangot ang mukha ni Leon habang parang gigil na gigil sa kausap.

            "When?" Marahan nitong hinahawakan ang sugat nito sa tagiliran. "Tonight?" Napabuga ng hangin si Leon. "Hindi ba puwedeng siya na lang? I still need to recover. My wounds are still hurting. And I need a good fuck. For real."

            Napataas ang kilay ko. Iyon lang ba ang gusto niya? He just needed to get laid kaya mainit ang ulo niya?

            Napatingin siya sa gawi ko at lalong sumeryoso ang mukha niya. Agad niyang itinigil ang pakikipag-usap at taas-noo akong lumabas ng kusina.

            "Was that Mr. Laxamana? Can I have his number so I can call him directly?" Talagang ipinapakita ko sa kanya na hindi ako natatakot kahit na nga para na siyang leon kanina na sasakmalin ako.

            "No." Malamig na tugon niya. "Get ready. We need to attend an event tonight. Your father is going to hold a banquet for his fight promotion. He wanted me. Us to be there." Ibinulsa nito ang teleponong hawak.

            Kumunot ang noo ko. "And he didn't tell it to me?" Taka ko.

            "You should check your phone. Hindi kasi dapat kung sino-sino ang iniintindi mo. Your mind is somewhere wandering to someone who cannot like you." Halata ang iritasyon sa boses niya.

            Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "And who could that be?"

            Tumawa siya ng nakakaloko. "Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Tigilan mo si Mr. Laxamana. Kill your fucking crush for him. Trust me, mapapahiya ka lang. He will never like you."

            Tumaas ang kilay ko. "How can you be so sure?"

            "I know his type." Tumingin siya sa akin mula ulo hanggang paa. "And you are not his type."

            "For sure hindi mo naman sasabihin sa akin kung ano ang type ni Mr. Laxamana, but I know I can do something about it. What about you? What's your type?" Nakataas pa rin ang kilay na tanong ko. Gusto kong pagalitan ang sarili ko. I just saw him got mad earlier. Like he was a madman ready to crush me, and right now I was pushing it again. There was definitely something wrong with me.

            Muli niya akong tiningnan. "Not your kind."

            "Really?" Paniniguro ko. "Are you sure? But I heard that you are dying to get laid."

            Sumimangot ang mukha niya. "Hindi ka kasi dapat nakikinig sa usapan ng iba."

            "It was not my intention to listen. Ang lakas ng boses mo kaya narinig ko. Do you always do that? You are just like those fighters that needed to be fucked after each fight?"

            Romolyo ang mata niya. "Alam mo naman pala bakit tinatanong mo pa?"

            "Kaya siguro mainit ang ulo mo ngayon." Natawa ako.

            "Don't try. Please." He said in a mocking tone. "Go get dressed." Pagkasabi noon ay tinalikuran na niya ako at tinungo ang kuwarto niya.

            Ang sama ng tingin ko sa pintong isinara niya. What a god damn prick. Napaka-animal talaga. Napakalayo niya sa gentleman na si Mr. Laxamana.

            Padabog kong tinungo ang kuwarto ko at inis na binuksan ang cabinet na naroon. Ang sama ng tingin ko sa mga damit. And what would I wear from these clothes?

            Kinuha ko ang telepono ko at tiningnan iyon. May missed calls nga si Papa. Agad ko siyang tinawagan at sumagot naman siya agad.

            "'Pa," inilagay ko sa speaker mode ang telepono ko para makahanap ako ng damit na puwede kong isuot sa event na sinasabi ni Leon.

            "Bakit hindi mo sinasagot ang tawag ko?" Halata ang iritasyon sa boses niya.

            "I was talking to Leon." Maikli kong sagot at kinuha ko ang white dress na nakita ko noong nakaraan. Inilatag ko sa kama. Tapos ay kinuha ko ang isang black dress at isang champagne pink dress.

            "At ano na ang mga nakuha mong details sa kanya? Kay Leon?"

            "Wala pa akong nakukuha. Mukhang mahihirapan ako Papa. He was just asking about the promotion and the fights. I think he is interested with your fights." Humarap ako sa salamin at inilapat ang damit sa katawan ko. The champagne pink dress was good. Ito na lang ang isusuot ko.

            "Do you think he'll like to fight for me?" Napansin kong medyo nag-iba ang tono ni Papa.

            "I don't know. Basta interesado siya doon. Iyon lang naman ang tinanong niya."

            Natawa si Papa. "Mukhang may papalit na kay Johnny sa cage. Talk to him. Persuade him to fight for me at iwan na niya si Laxamana. Sabihin mo mas maganda akong magbigay ng premyo at kahit anong hingin niya ay kaya kong ibigay. You know I can do that for my fighter," sagot ng tatay..

            Yeah. You can even give your own daughter just to please your fighter.

            Sinarili ko na lang iyon. Siguradong bubulyawan lang ako ni Papa kapag isinatinig ko iyon.

            "'Pa, can I see them?" Si Mama at ang kapatid ko ang tinutukoy ko.

            Napaungol siya. "Masyado pang maraming ginagawa. Alam mo naman ang nangyari 'di ba? Hindi inaasahan ng lahat na matatalo si Johnny kaya ginagawan ko ito ng paraan sa mga patrons. Saka mo na isingit ang mama at kapatid mo. Don't worry. They are in good hands." Iritableng sagot niya.

            Napahinga ako ng malalim. "I just want to see them."

            "Damn it, Vivienne! Uunahin mo pa ba ang pagda-drama kaysa sa pagtulong sa akin na ayusin ang gulo sa cage? We are losing patrons. I am losing millions."

            Napakagat-labi na lang ako at napailing.

            "Kaya ka nandiyan para alamin mo kung ano ang plano ni Leon. If he is willing to change corner. Tell him that I can pay double kaysa sa boss niya."

            Hindi ako kumibo. Hindi ko yata kayang sabihin iyon kay Leon. Baka tuluyan na akong kainin ng lalaking iyon kapag sinabi ko ang plano ni Papa. Tingin ko ay loyal iyon kay Mr. Laxamana.

            "I think he is loyal to his boss." Iyon na lang ang nasabi ko.

            Natawa ng malakas si Papa. "No one can say no for a big amount of money. Ask him what is the prize that he wanted, and I can give it to him. Just choose my side and leave Laxamana."

            "Paano si Johnny? He is your ultimate fighter, 'Pa." Paalala ko.

            Napahinga siya ng malalim. "You know how we roll in this business. Johnny is done. Yes, he recovered, and getting back in shape, but I need to move. People will look for another fight in the Death Match. I need to give it to them. Like two weeks from now and Leon is the new crowd favorite."

            "'Pa, don' you think-"

            "Cut it out. Talk to Leon and tell him what I wanted. Gusto kong pagdating 'nyo dito mamaya sa event, nasa akin na siya at wala ng fighter si Greg Laxamana. You need to do it. Even if you need to offer yourself to him, do it."

            "Sige na, 'Pa. I need to get ready." Iyon na lang ang nasabi ko at pakiramdam ko ay may batong nakabara sa lalamunan ko.

            "Dress well. I want you to look pretty," pagkasabi noon ay wala na akong narinig pa sa kausap ko.

            Napabuga ako ng hangin. And how am I going to do it? I don't think Leon was going to switch sides. He was loyal to his boss. Hinubad ko ang suot kong damit at isinuot ang champagne pink dress na bagay na bagay sa akin. Alam kong kahit na sinong lalaki ang makitang ganito ang hitsura ay imposibleng hindi maaakit sa akin.

            At tama si Papa. I need to use my charm to get my job done.

            And tonight, Leon was my job.

            I needed him to say yes to fight for my father.