Izuna

I didn't call or text Tobirama.

He didn't call or text me.

I continued my relationship with Henry. My guess was, Tobirama continued his relationship with Oliver.

"He's waiting for you." It was midnight. We were lying in bed, on our backs, holding hands while looking up into the ceiling, imagining the stars and the universe beyond it. "He's waiting for you to come to him. For being able to handle how closely he works with Martin's body."

I shivered at his wording.

"But he doesn't work on that case anymore", I said. "So why doesn't he come to me?"

"Because you left him", Henry said.

I turned to Henry, grabbed his face between my hands.

"If I was a decent man, I would leave you because I know you deserve better", I told him.

"Don't play the martyr, Izuna."

"I don't!" I burst out.

But his smile and the way he kissed my hand let me know he was only messing with me.

"I'm a grown man. I am entirely aware of the situation. If I didn't accept it, I could just leave."

I kissed his face.

I had gotten the main role for the Christmas show. I hadn't been able to enjoy it one bit. I had done my training like I was supposed to, working as hard as they paid me to work, which wasn't much, by the way. Henry had been a great support system, his couch and embrace a good place to rest after full days of rehearsals. It was during one of those nights he told me he had stayed in touch with Oliver.

"Is that okay with you?"

"Of course it is", I said, meaning it.

I did feel slightly jealous, but also relief. And I knew that relief was because it would take some of the guilt away once I left Henry for Tobirama.

"Do you... Think he likes me?"

"Oh, Henry", I said and kissed him. "Don't be so fucking dumb."

The stage was all set up for Christmas. Lovely real Christmas trees sprinkled with fake snow and had been covered in silver baubles. The usual red curtains exchanged for midnight blue ones covered in glitter. The lamps along the walls had been exchanged for realistic fake torches.

And there I was, backstage, having a mental breakdown.

"It's okay", Henry said. "Izuna, you really don't have to do this. We have a back-up."

"Just..." I panted. "Just give me a few."

But I needed more than a few. Tears were streaming down my face, ruining the makeup to such a degree it would have to be re-applied. I only had fifteen minutes before I had to be on stage.

I really, really wanted to do this. It was one of few ballet shows where the two main roles were held by men, and I was supposed to do it with Henry by my side.

"I can't do this", I wheezed.

"Then talk to me", Henry said. He stood up, went to fetch a tissue and started dabbing my eyes with it. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's everything", I said. "Martin. Tobirama. You. Oliver. Everything is a mess. In my head." I pointed to my heart. "And in here."

Henry fetched some makeup and started reapplying some. I appreciated his help, but I suspected he did it mostly so he didn't have to look me in my eyes.

"Izuna", he said. "I'm all for autonomy. For trusting you to take the decisions you need to do. But I believe you're failing. I think it's time for us to separate. You need to figure things out. And by that, I mean you need to focus on you and Tobirama."

I didn't say anything. I let him finish my makeup.

"Thank you, Henry. For everything."

"I'm sorry I treated you so terribly to begin with.  You were right about me. I had to really search through myself to see what I was after. It was you. Not just a boy."

"Will you start dating Oliver now?" I asked.

He grimaced a little.

"I need to lick my wounds for a while. Would you like that?"

"You licking your wounds or dating Oliver? Because I wouldn't mind either."

Henry laughed. Then, he stood up and gave me his hand.

"Come. Let's go show them. I have a feeling a certain someone will be there."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He winked and left.

He was there.

I had started looking for him as soon as I stepped on stage and I found him. Immediately. 

Oliver was next to him, beaming at me encouragingly. But Tobirama had his arms crossed, looking at me as if he wanted to eat me up.

I wanted him to.

I did the best show I had ever done. The adrenaline of performing with my ex-lover while my future lover was watching made me feel even stronger and more flexible than usual. I was cast between the deliciousness of wanting the show to end so I could meet him, and the delight of teasing him by letting the show go on forever.

We took a bow to a standing ovation, and people actually threw roses up on stage. I didn't know that was actually a thing outside of films, but they did. It made me cry.

And somehow, this felt like a goodbye. I didn't know how, or why, but I knew it was.

"Go", Henry murmured into my ear as Tobirama, who had been sitting still and serious next to a standing, cheering, wolf-whistling Oliver, stood up and started to leave. "He's going to meet you. Go meet him back." Henry reached his hand into his pocket and me something. "Tobirama's wireless earphones. He forgot them at my place that night, you know. Please, give them back to him."

I took them and ran backstage.

We met in the corridor. He was carrying a bouquet of yellow roses, so big it was as if it had been made of all the roses in the world.

"Hi", he said.

"Hi", I whispered.

We stood opposite one another, shy, not knowing what to say.

"These are for you", he finally said and handed them to me.

"I love yellow", I said. "And I love your colouring. Have I ever told you that?"

He smiled a little and scratched his neck.

"It has been a huge complex of mine since I became aware of it. I think I was about three years old. So thank you."

"You're welcome. And thank you for the roses."

"You're welcome."

Silence again. It was awkward, but somehow not in a bad way.

"Izuna?"

"Mmm?"

"Do you want to be my boyfriend?" He scratched his head again. This awkwardness was a new side to him that I found I loved. It was such a contrast to his usual competent self. I loved contrasts. "For real this time. I didn't ask you properly last time so I will now. And I promise I will never hold secrets from you, even if they're related to work."

I buried my face in the roses to hide the fact that I cried. I wanted to tell him that he didn't need to tell me everything, that he shouldn't, even, but I couldn't speak. 

So I nodded.

Tobirama took the last steps towards me and hugged me.

"Can I take you on a dinner date now?" he asked. "To celebrate?"

I nodded again.

"Let me just shower and change."

"I'll wait outside in the car."

I skipped to the dressing room.

When I opened the door, there was a man there I didn't recognise. I frowned.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

In a second he was behind me.

I felt a pain in my neck.

Then nothing. 

Tobirama

I tasted blood in my mouth.

I was panting.

My leg muscles were bathing in lactic acid.

It felt as if though the theatre was flooded but everything was dry.

My mouth was dry.

My eyes were not.

"Sir? Can I help you?"

I grabbed the person by the shoulders and slammed them into a wall. I was surprised by the force I could use; ever since I had woken up from the concussion Hashirama had caused me when he hit me and ran, I had been a bit dizzy. 

"Izuna? Have you seen Izuna?"

"I'm sorry", the person said.

I ran on.

"Tobirama. Tobirama!!"

I didn't hear the voice at first but when the owner of it grabbed me, I realised it was Henry.

A trail of drool was hanging down my chin. I had forgotten to swallow.

"They've taken him", he said, his voice dark and drenched with panic. I had never seen a man so destroyed but that was only because I hadn't seen my own mirror image. "They have taken him."

I called Oliver. Or Henry did. Someone did. He came. Or was already there. I don't know, everything was all mixed together. 

"Get in the car", Oliver said. "No, not the police car, your car. It's faster."

I let him drive because I didn't know how to anymore.

Once I sat in the passenger seat, however, I realised I had to sit still and that that would make me go mad.

"Tobirama, listen to me." Oliver was looking straight ahead, his face full of emotions. "I need you to do this with me. I can't do it alone."

I nodded,  tried to collect myself.

"The rest of the force?" I asked.

"On their way to Izuna's current location", he said.

"But how?" I asked. "How do you track him?"

This was a problem we had had with the other cases. They were untraceable.

"Henry", Oliver said. "He gave Izuna your earplugs to take backstage. They're traceable."

At first, I didn't understand what he was talking about. But then, I remembered. The headphones I had forgotten at Henry's place. They must've missed them when they searched Izuna for trackable devices such as cell phones. 

I hid my face in my hands, thanking the universe. 

Izuna

It was surprisingly comfortable. Being tied up.

It wasn't rope. It was leather. Tying me down to a steel bed at the waist, wrists and ankles.

There was a strange feeling in my arm fold. Not a pain, but just something that caused me discomfort.

A needle.

I looked around me, eyes hazed over. Next to me was a plastic bag containing potassium chloride.

I don't think this is a good thing.

Someone connected the plastic bag to my vein.

Some time passed. Not long, I don't think. Seconds.

"No!!"

Someone's scream.

"But, Sir-"

"Not him!! He's my brother's boyfriend! Disconnect him!!"

You always imagined your last thoughts before you died would be of your friends but that was rarely the case.

Tobirama

"Tobirama, wait! This is not how we do things!!"

I ignored Oliver and all the other police officers waiting outside the run-down storage building. This can't be where they do it... They can't harvest organs this shabbily.

I burst in through the doors...

And was met by the worst thing I had ever encountered throughout my career.

The storage building was sterile, a steely concrete floor and clean walls. There were no shelves or anything, but many, many fridges for bodies, as well as fridges for organ storage.

And in the middle was a steel bed, and on it was a body bound by leather bands.

No... Not a body. A person. Because that person was Izuna and Izuna couldn't be a body.

My hand went to my mouth. My knees weakened beneath me. I opened my mouth to scream out all the anger but only threw up bile.

Suddenly, a pair of strong arms grabbed me from behind.

"Sorry, brother."

There was a pain in my neck.

Then nothing.