Cramps sucked, but the feeling of relief that ran through my body as I blinked open my eyes and realized the pain was gone was nothing short of paradise. I rolled over with a groan but then pushed myself up without wincing in pain. My body was exhausted, but it was no longer suffering.

It wasn't until I sat up and put my feet on the floor that I realized I was alone. I pointlessly looked around the room, but nothing was changing the fact that Alex was gone.

I expected a wave of embarrassment to wash over me over the fact that he had seen me in such a state the previous night. But it never came. Instead, all I felt was a vague sense of disappointment.

I checked the clock. Damn. It was almost one in the afternoon. I never slept in like this. Ever.

My eyes went to the door as I heard voices coming from the rest of the apartment. Definitely Emilia's, but there was also a man. But it wasn't Alex.

I figured that if I stayed in here for too much longer Emilia would come barging in out of concern, so I forced myself up and into presentable clothing. My hair was knotted and sticking up everywhere, but I didn't really care all that much. Hesitantly, I left my room to go reassure my roommate that I wasn't dead.

I walked in on Emilia and John laughing at something on one of their phones. It made me pause. She just looked so happy.

"Ana!" Emilia spotted me and jumped up, concern dimming her grin. "I was wondering when you'd be up."

I gave her a small smile. "Hey, John."

He looked awkward; I almost had to laugh. "Hi, Ana."

I flopped down on a chair across from them. I didn't really mind getting into my period hell in front of John, but I didn't want to make things even more awkward for him.

"So, what's going on?" Emilia asked, trying to sound nonchalant. "Alex didn't say much when he left."

I blanched slightly at her words. "You saw Alex?"

"Er, yeah." Emilia and John exchanged looks. "He was, well, he was doing laundry. Sheets."

I stared at her, and then I stared at him. John looked awkward, and Emilia seemed to be trying to hide a smile.

Ah.

"Oh, so you both think the reason why I'm up after noon, Alex was here, and I had dirty sheets was because we got home from work and spent the rest of the night fucking each other, yes?"

John turned bright scarlet and I tried so hard to hold back a snort of laughter, but only mostly succeeded. Emilia, unphased by my graphic language, narrowed her eyes. "So, you weren't doing that?"

I leaned back and patted my stomach. "The devil decided to pay me a visit," I told her. Back in middle school when I first had one of these episodes, we were both too embarrassed to talk about periods in a straightforward way, so that's what we said instead. The embarrassment went away but the name stuck.

Emilia's expression turned to one of concern. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry, Ana."

I just shrugged.

"I'm definitely missing something here, aren't I?" John asked.

The corner of my mouth turned up as Emilia laughed. "Just a bit," she said. "But I'll fill you in later."

He stood up. "Sounds good." He bent down to briefly kiss her before giving me a wave. "I should get going, nice seeing you, Ana."

"Likewise." I watched Emilia get up and walk him out, smirking when she came back with a soft glow on her face.

"Y'all are adorable," I told her, leaning my head back and closing my eyes.

But I was met with silence. When I opened my eyes, I saw Emilia staring at me with concern. "What happened?"

I shrugged. "The usual. I overslept, woke up with it, didn't go to work, rode it out, didn't go to sleep until like, I don't know, five or something?"

"And Alex?"

I fidgeted in my chair. "He was the last one to see me the previous night," I told her. I would tell her the details of what exactly happened that night later. "So when I didn't show up to work he was worried something happened. He called me in the afternoon, asking if I was okay."

"And you said you were fine even though your voice probably sounded like you were being tortured, yes I can see that."

I glared at her. "But then he dropped by after his shift. He just sat with me through the worst of it. And then." I bit my lip. I wanted to tell Emilia everything, but I was also afraid to hear what she would say. "Well, when it started to get a little better, he turned on the shower for me."

"The horror," Emilia said sarcastically when I paused. "How dare he? What else?"

I gave a small shrug. "He carried me to the bathroom, helped me get my dirty clothes off, including my gross ass underwear without even flinching, I might add, put me in the shower, went and changed my bedsheets, and then got me out of the shower, dried me off, redressed me, and then carried me back to bed where he held me until I went to sleep." I said it all very fast. It didn't sound any less romantic in two times speed, however.

Emilia's mouth was open. "Shit," she said.

"Oh, and apparently he washed my bloody sheets," I added on. "Cause, you know, he apparently thought he hadn't done enough."

"Ana," Emilia said softly. "Why are you saying all of this like it's a bad thing?"

"Because we're just friends!" I exclaimed. "And I know you love me, Emilia, but you've never changed a bloody pad for me."

"True," Emilia acknowledged. She pursed her lips. "And didn't even flinch."

I shook my head. "Apparently, he has a sister."

Emilia's eyebrows rose in surprise. She was well aware of Alex's aversion to talking about his personal life. "So you're worried because this is all the sort of stuff that a boyfriend would be doing."

I shut my eyes, Emilia's words voicing the thoughts I had been trying so hard to keep down.

"We're just friends," I said, unconvincingly. "Friends who have sex."

"Maybe so," Emilia said. "And you said you were okay with that. Are you still?"

"Yes. No. I don't know." I grabbed a pillow and buried my face in it. "I don't know what I'm doing."

Emilia let me wallow in my pillow for a little while before responding. "Ana, you're going to end up getting hurt."

I looked up, and to my horror, I felt tears prick at the corner of my eyes. "Fuck."

"Fuck is right," Emilia said. "You've never cried over a guy before. Ever."

She was right.

"Why don't you just tell him?"

I scoffed. "Emilia, he's made it very clear that all he wants is friendship and sex."

"Has he?"

"Okay, he's a very good friend," I shot back. "But in case you hadn't noticed, he left."

Emilia arched her eyebrow.

I swung my arms gesturing to the apartment. "Left," I repeated. "Pretty sure if he was into me, he would have stayed in bed with me."

Emilia let out a heavy sigh. "Okay, whatever he feels or doesn't feel about you doesn't negate the fact that you like him." When I didn't protest, she continued. "You're a straightforward person. I'm pretty sure pretending to be cool with a casual relationship isn't in the definition of 'straightforward.'"

"And then what, Emilia?" I asked, not even bothering to curse at myself for how despondent I sounded. "I lose the best sex I've ever had? I lose the only friend I've made since college?" I lose the feeling of warmth and security every time I felt his arms go around me? The way everything just felt easier when he was with me?

"Oh, Ana." Emilia came over and sat on the arm of my chair, wrapping her arm around me as I leaned into her, trying to keep myself from completely losing it.

It must be the hormones. Stupid period.

"I'm not ready to give that up yet, Emilia," I said, my voice muffled into her chest.

"That's okay," she said softly. "I just want you to be happy."

I sniffed and pulled away. "Thanks."

I was saved from further discussion of the topic by my phone buzzing.

"Is that him?" Emilia asked as I picked it up.

"If by him you mean my dad, then yes," I said drily. "He's, oh, he's right outside."

I texted my dad to come on up and a few moments later Emilia got up to answer the door. I pushed myself up as he came into the room, trying not to look too pathetic.

He came over to me and engulfed me in a hug. "How are you?" he asked, sitting down on the coffee table, facing me.

I gave what I hoped was a nonchalant shrug, seeing Emilia slip into her bedroom and shut the door behind her to give us privacy. "I'm fine. Much better today, just a little tired."

My dad gave me skeptical look but didn't press. He knew the drill. "We missed you at the bar."

"How did it go?"

He chuckled. "I think everyone was too hungover to think about coming in, so actually pretty slow. Plus, tomorrow is back to work for a lot of people."

That's usually how it was.

"Everyone was worried about you, though."

I rolled my eyes, brushing off my coworkers' concerns. "I mean, what about, really?" I asked. "Ryan is really the only one who knows anything about this. Everyone else just assumes I'm sick."

"Believe it or not, Ana, your coworkers like you," my dad said, adopting the same dry tone I had perfected. "And you're not sick very often."

I just shrugged.

My dad hesitated a moment before continuing. "Alex was very concerned," he finally said.

I tensed up, just slightly. "Right," I said, not knowing what else to say.

"You two seem close."

Oh boy, getting into dangerous territory. It's not that I felt I needed to hide my relationship with Alex from my dad, but it's not like I wanted to go into details about exactly how close Alex and I were. "We're just friends, Dad," I said. And it's not like I was lying.

"He was worried, yesterday, when you didn't pick up anyone's calls."

I sighed, deciding to give my dad at least a bit more of the truth. "He walked me out on Saturday," I explained. "He told me he was just worried something happened, given all the craziness of that shift."

"You talked to him?"

"He stopped by after you closed." I shifted my weight in the chair. "Just to check up on me."

"That was nice of him." My dad was studying my face, and I did my best to keep it blank.

"Like you said, we're close," I told him. "He's been a good friend."

"I'm glad." My dad had a slight smile on his face. "I'm glad you have people your age who you enjoy spending time with."

"I spend literally all my time with someone my own age," I pointed out, gesturing to Emilia's closed door."

"You know what I mean, Ana," my dad said, half laughing. He got up from his seat. "Alright, I just wanted to check in on you. I should get going, I'm headed to New Haven."

"What for?" I asked, looking up at him.

He kissed the top of my head. "Nothing important," he said. "Just taking care of some stuff."

Well, that was annoyingly vague. My mind flashed back to the last time he avoided telling me something, and the following fear of him having mysterious medical appointments.

But before I could ask him, he was already halfway out the door. "See you later, honey."

"Bye, Dad."

Emilia came out a few moments later. "Hey, why was Alex the last one to see you that night?" she asked.

I smirked. "Oh, you want details?" I asked. "I guess I can give you details."