Just a few weeks before Thanksgiving, I stood in the center of my apartment, surrounded by taped-up boxes. In just a few days, I would be getting on a plane to Monterey, California, to start apartment hunting for the upcoming school year.

I had gotten into all of the schools I applied to, but after considering cost, location, and how quickly I could graduate, California State University - Monterey Bay, won out. Despite it being all the way across the country, and knowing that it would be more difficult to get home to visit my dad, I was beyond excited. Right next to one of the best aquariums in the world, and a magnificent ecosystem in the Pacific Ocean right there in the bay, it would open a lot of doors to what I wanted to do in life.

But it wasn't just my stuff that was getting packed up. Emilia was leaving, too. Over the past few months, she had opened up a little bit more about what happened with John, and as I suspected, it had rattled her more than she had initially let on. But she hadn't let it affect her art and had decided to move to New Haven to be closer to the art scene, hoping to start an online store to sell her items to a greater audience. She had gotten a couple of requests from tourists who had seen her work at the start of summer festival, and was already building a small following on her Instagram page.

I sighed, dusting off my hands and looking around at the barren apartment. I had had plenty of time to pack up, especially with the summer tourist season over and done. Work had calmed down, and our hours had shortened as we only had locals coming in.

I looked up at the sound of knocking at the door. Emilia was looking at apartments in New Haven, so I figured it was my dad dropping by to check in on me. We had been spending a lot of time together, recently, although I was definitely using a lot of that time to tease him about his new dating life.

A gasp of shock left my lips before I could stop it when I opened the door to find Alex standing on the other side. I took half a step back and stared at him, eyes wide and mouth open, heart pounding in my chest. My brain went black.

"Hi, Ana."

His words shocked me back into movement, and I swallowed hard. "Hi," I said breathlessly. I had stopped feeling as heartbroken whenever I thought about him, but now all my feelings for him came rushing back all at once, washing over me like a tidal wave. "What are you doing here?"

"Do you mind if I come in?"

"Oh, yeah, of course."

As he passed me into the apartment, I took the moment to take him in. He looked good. Really good. And not just compared to the last time I saw him. Yes, he looked healthier and more rested, and in some ways appeared to be back to the Alex I knew working at Coral Brews. But it was more than that. His shoulders were more relaxed, and there was a light in his eyes that I had never seen before. He looked more, content.

"It's a bit of a mess," I acknowledged as we entered the living room. "Some things are changing a bit." I didn't want to go into my move right now. I wanted to know why he was here.

Alex looked around the room, but didn't comment, and didn't ask any questions. Instead, he turned around to face me, a carefully neutral expression on his face. "You know, I thought about what I was going to say once I got here for so long," he said. "But now that I'm here..." he trailed off.

There was a small but growing part of me that just wanted to launch myself into his arms, but I held myself back. I leaned against the wall and waited for him to find his words.

"You were right, you know," Alex said, "everything you said to me when we last spoke was absolutely right. In a lot of ways, I was using you as my life raft. And I'm so sorry for that, Ana. Because you didn't deserve that. And you shouldn't have had to go through that."
I took a deep breath, keeping back tears that threatened to fall. I didn't trust myself to speak.

"And that's why I left. At the hospital. I know you said that you didn't care about listening to why anymore, but I think you deserve to know. It wasn't because I didn't care about what happened to you, or about how difficult you would find it being in a hospital. It was because my life raft was sinking, and I couldn't handle that. It shouldn't have been about me, I wasn't the one who was injured, but that's all I could think about was how someone else I cared about was hurt because of me."

He held up his hand as I opened my mouth to protest. "Let me finish, Ana."

I closed my mouth and nodded.

"The thing is, there was something you said that scared the crap out of me. You said that one of the possibilities of you being my life raft was that I thought I was in love with you, but I actually wasn't, that I was just latching on to you and it looked like love. And that terrified me, Ana, because the last thing I would have ever wanted to do was make you think I was in love with you and then break your heart like that.

"So I did what you said. I got help. It took a couple of days to get my ass into gear, and then there were a couple of false starts, but for the most part, I've met with a therapist and a grief counselor every week since the beginning of September."

I couldn't help the smile that rose on my face. "That's amazing, Alex."

"I even dragged my parents to a few family sessions," he told me. "Not nearly enough, but it's a start."

"How are they?" I ventured. "Are you working for your dad again?"

Alex shook his head. "No, no, absolutely not," he said. "I don't think I ever would have been anywhere near mentally healthy if I went back. And they're doing okay. We've been able to actually talk about Violet, a little bit. Like I said, it's a start."

"I'm glad to hear that."

There was an awkward silence. I appreciated that he was telling me all of these things, and I was more than happy to see him better, but I also couldn't be sure what he was doing here.

"Alex, um, once upon a time not too long ago we stood in this room," I gestured around me, "and you gave a sort of confessional not unlike this one, and then I asked you what you wanted." I took a deep breath, bracing myself for how he was going to respond. "And I think that's a good question for right now. I'm so happy for you that you're doing better, but what exactly do you want?"

He stared at me. "You know, I talked to my therapist about you a lot," he said. "Like, a lot a lot. And to be honest, he probably knew from the first session, it just took longer for me to get to the conclusion on my own." He swallowed hard. "But I'm in love with you, Ana. I have been for a long time. And so what do I want? I want another chance with you."

I felt like I couldn't breathe. Warmth spread through my body at lightning speed so it felt like my limbs were tingling. It was all I could do to keep oxygen entering my system.

"And I know I don't deserve it and that I messed up big time and maybe you don't love me anymore, and I know that if we did try to make this work it would be a lot of work and it would probably be a good idea to go to couples' counseling so we could work out everything and—"

"I'm moving to California."

Alex stopped mid-ramble, his mouth hanging open. "Oh."

"You should come with me."

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, but as soon as they were out in the open, I knew they were the right ones. I knew that was what I wanted.

I saw hope flare in Alex's eyes, but he remained speechless.

"I'm going back to school," I continued to explain. "I'm leaving in a few days to go look at apartments. And yeah, I want you to come with me. I mean, you don't have to live with me, obviously, you can find your own place if you want, but if you were in California with me, that would be great."

"I can't."

Immediately, I felt my cheeks heat with embarrassment. "Of course, of course," I backtracked. "You have a life here, you can't just pick it up and move to California, I get it."

"Ana, slow down, slow down. What I meant was, if you're going just in a few days, I can't go with you then. See, originally, I had planned to go to therapy through New Year's, and come here shortly after that. I wanted to make sure that when I did come, I would be in a place where maybe we could be together in an equal partnership, not you acting as my savior."

"What happened?"

"Your friend may have paid me a visit and told me that if I was going to do anything about this whole mess that I got myself into, I should do it soon."

I half groaned and half laughed. "Of course, she did."

"I figured she knew something I didn't, so I hightailed it down here. But I still need the time, Ana. I'm getting there, but there's still a lot I need to work through."

"I understand. Of course, I understand." And I was just so, so proud of him. I had been through therapy, and I knew how rough it could be.

"But, January?" Alex asked hesitantly. "I mean, if you really want me out there with you..."

"You'd really move out there?" I asked, barely believing what I was hearing.

"You really want me in your life?" Alex sounded like he was about to cry.

"God, Alex, of course." I, on the other hand, had just started to cry. "I meant it when I said I love you. And I still do. I never stopped, hell, I don't think I could ever stop."

We stood there staring at each other for a minute. I don't think either of us could believe what was happening.

"Oh, just come here," I finally said.

As I wrapped my arms around him and felt his go around me, pulling me tight to him, my body relaxed. We practically melted into each other. It just felt right.

"God, I missed you," I heard Alex murmur, his face pressed into my hair.

"I missed you, too. So, so much." I pressed my face into his shoulder and one of my hands gripped his hair. It's like I couldn't hold him close enough.

"I'm so, so sorry, Ana," Alex said, and he was definitely crying at this point. "I swear, I'm going to be better this time."

"I know you are," I said. "We're both going to be better. And this is going to work. We're going to make it work."

"I love you, Ana."

"I love you, too, Alex."