Cassie Huwit

They said that New York was the place where dreams come true.

They lied.

My dream is to own a bakery by age twenty – I'm twenty one and still haven't achievied that. I lived in a small town and when things didn't go as planned; I moved. New York is a big scary city and money is hard to come by, but I need to make it work.

Taking the last mouthful of Chinese takeout from two nights ago, I took all of two steps towards to the bathroom. I was too lazy last night to remove my make-up

My best friend, Alice Milar, forced me to go out clubbing as a way to relax from how much financial stress I've been under; which didn't end up helping. I spent the whole night worried about having no job and rent being due in two weeks. I remember her exact words, begging me to go out, "C'mon Cassie it'll be fun, just a couple hours out of your head. You can dance, stare at all the hot men."

To repeat the rest of what she said about what she wants to do with those men, could land me in a hell of a lot of trouble.

I first met Alice at the airport when I arrived to the boarding area to fly to New York, she was on holiday with a boyfriend in my home town and we sat there for three hours after they postponed our flight, we learned we were close in age – Alice is twenty two. We have similar personalities, and both love baking; and we have been best friends ever since.

When we both touched down in The Big Apple, Alice let me live with her as she knew I had nowhere to go and that I had used the last of my savings on the flight. I stayed with her until I got enough money to rent the apartment I live in now.

She also got me a job at a café down the road where we lived, it was good money until the boss turned nasty and he continuously yelled at me, followed me around the place saying I was just a child. Alice handed in my resignation for me as the man scared me too much.

Mint toothpaste and Kung Pao chicken are not my favourite flavour combination but I'm rushing to get out the door.

I got a call at 7.34am from a supermarket, I handed my CV into weeks ago, Palmer's Grocery, to say I got an interview at 9am today; I jumped with joy when she asked me to come in, I had to hold the phone tight to my chest so she didn't hear my squeals.

While I'm getting ready to go to the interview, my phone flashed with a text from my mom, she calls and messages every day since my father died but I never wish to pick up, occasionally I do but it's only ever to be brief so I don't have to hear from her for days at a time; everyone says you should love your parents no matter what because they love you and they raised you but when neither of those things are true – you're left with having to dodge calls and ignore texts.

27TH MAY

Hey Cassiandra. Any plans for today? read 2.19

2ND AUGUST

Hello?? read 6.05

8TH AUGUST

'What's your plan for the day? - Mom' 8.23

'Interview at supermarket. Super excited. Can't talk now' 8.35

I power off my phone to further ignore her messages and begin to get ready for the interview. I was a little surprised that they asked me in on a Sunday but if it means I get a job I don't care what day it is.

A simple black tee and four different pant changes later, I take one final look in the mirror to see my brown hair flushed back into a tight tail, my blue eyes stare back at me. My face is still puffy and round from having woken up just mere minutes ago. I am ready to hit the morning traffic. Footpaths in New York is like trying to not step on an ant, but lucky, the grocery store is only a couple blocks away from my apartment.

I stood in front of the store, the big neon sign above the door flashing, 'Palmer's Grocery. The kind smile from the interviewer is warm and welcoming.

"Nice to meet you in person Miss Huwit, I was the one that called you this morning." An awkward smile breached my face, I panic, not knowing what to say.

"Oh gosh sorry I'm Vanessa."

Vanessa has dark hair in twists and pretty brown eyes paired with lash extensions that highlight the shape of her eyes.

"Hey it's uh... yea nice to meet you too" God I don't know why I'm so nervous, Vanessa seems very nice.

She guided me into an office around the corner from the entrance, a shift sheet taped to the door with chicken scratch all over it. A cheap wooden table obviously painted white pushed into the left corner of the room, underneath filled with boxes and file cabinets; matched with white painted chairs. Both table and chairs are dented in small freckles, chipped paint and small pen marking.

The interview was average.

Can you work long hours?

Do you have other responsibilities that could take you away from work?

Yada Yada Yada.

Vanessa made me feel comfortable, she's very professional yet bubbly.

"When could you start?" I couldn't hide the shock on my face

"Um... Tomorrow?" Vanessa beamed, she looked so happy.

"Perfect I'll show you around and teach you what to do now"

I followed Vanessa out of the office and towards the back, walking to the end of Palmer's and through the middle of an automatic door that rises like a garage. Shelves thickly coated the concrete den, as high as the ceiling.

Empty, half empty, and still full boxes take up the blank spaces that remain in the room besides a path just wide enough for a forklift, seen parked roughly in the corner looking ready to pull out of its spot in a moment's notice. There is a large window displaying the insides of another office.

"This is my office and you will be working just outside here, cutting up boxes to be pressed, unpacking boxes, just a lot of boxes" We shared a small laugh and continued the tour. Just beside her office is a small kitchen area, two sinks, few cupboards beneath and a row of lockers in front of them.

Two young boys walk in just as Vanessa and I started to walk to the door. Both look about the same age of seventeen. One with fluffy brown hair that looks like his hand has gone through it multiple times, the other with a blond buzz cut.

"Oh perfect, boys come over here." They look to be close friends.

"Boys, this is Cassie, Cassie this is Michael" She points to the tall brown-haired boy

"And this is Luke" Her hand moves over to the blond. They both tower over Vanessa and I. I stand at 5"3 while Vanessa looks about 5"8 so my best guess is Luke is 5"11 and Michael is 6"1, making them perfect for the high shelves; I'll kept that in mind.

Vanessa gave me papers to fill out over banking and whatnot as well as making small talk. "Are Luke and Michael the only people working out the back?" I asked; I don't like to be surprised by the unexpected so the more knowledge I have for tomorrow the better.

"Uh yea so besides Luke and Michael, there is Winston - he is an older guy who works the forklift oh and Sam" His name felt sweet but sour at the same time.

"Uh who's Sam?" pondering out loud whilst writing all my information down.

"He's new, started exactly a week ago, today, he's doing what you're going to be doing so you'll be working with Sam more than the boys" I sort of felt weirdly excited and I haven't even met Sam.

I really can't wait for tomorrow.

Taking back the belongings I placed in Vanessa's office, I said goodbye to everyone and headed for the door. I wasn't there long but it feels like the people in the city double out in the streets, it was hard to walk around everyone without bumping into them.

Seeing everyone rushing to get their jobs made me a little down that they had their life sorted out, that they've got a career they are happy about, on top of security for the rest of their lives, I know I'm young but every year in high school I changed ideas of what I wanted to do for when I left school.

My school – being so small – we had next to no opportunities besides working in retail or hospitality so I wanted to move, thinking perhaps I could get better opportunities but yet I am now working in a grocery store just like I would have if I stayed back home. Not to say I'm ungrateful to find a job, I'm insanely happy to be able to find work - many don't - but working in a grocery store is no one's dream. I was expecting to have my own bakery but reality takes your dreams faster than you have them.

The walk took longer going back than I thought. When I finally got back to my apartment, I dropped my keys off in the bowl at the front door, kicked my shoes off and saw that the clock read 12.17pm. I spent the rest of my day cleaning the house, as tedious as it is, starting with the dishes and ending with vacuuming. I spent the remainder of the day watching The Vampire Diaries because Alice says its "a good show", it's not Alice you're lying just like when you said I looked good in orange. My phone flashes. Speak of the devil.

"Hey weirdo"

"Hey crazy"

We made small talk over our days like usual.

"How was the interview?"

"I got the job, there's only me and another guy unpacking pallets, two teenagers stacking shelves and an older guy working the forklift, oh, and Vanessa is my boss."

"Any of the guys cute?" Alice asked

"Oh my god Ally, I don't know, I only saw the two boys – Luke and Michael and they are too young for me so no, they seem really sweet though."

"You said you're working with a guy?"

"Oh, yea Vanessa said his name is Sam and he only started last week, I'm excited to work with someone who's just started like me rather than some asshole who gets mad when I make a mistake." Reference to my last boss.

The conversation went on for ages, talking about our days to if the Salvator brothers are better than the Original brothers – of course the Original brothers are better; and after hours of taking, we finally ended the call at 10.44pm which is early considering we normally are on video call for at least two hours.

As Alice teased me about Sam. We talked about how the dating pool is just pushing off creeps and running away from high school boys who just want to be able to say an 'older woman' talked to them to impress their friends.

I changed into my nightwear, a satin black slip dress.

I did my skincare for the night and braided my hair so it wouldn't get in my face while I sleep. I put on 80's music to fall asleep to and watched the birds flying outside my window.

Alice thinks I'm weird for sleeping with my curtains open but it's so much better than them being closed, I can fall asleep to the moon shining on my bed and the birds gliding, not to mention I wake up with the sun which is better than my alarm; even though I still need an alarm to help me wake up. It feels more peaceful knowing the new day is right in your face, maybe I am a little weird.

Tomorrow is a fresh start to my life, to get the past away from my future. I'm so excited to start my new job, working at Palmer's Grocery, 9am sharp. I closed my eyes and hope to dream about men on unicorns; anything to make today so much better.