Five months later...

"Unique naman kasi!" Tawang-tawa si Unique sa akin habang sinusubukan kong makipagusap kila Rinoa sa Skype. Ang kulit-kulit kasi, alam na ngang may kausap ako ginugulo pa rin 'yung buhok ko. Ang sarap na talaga niyang sapakin.

"Hoy! Ninang kami ha!" Sinamaan ko naman ng tingin si Lucy na biglang sumulpot sa video. Nag-peace sign naman siya. Hinayaan ko na lang tuloy mangulit si Unique habang magkausap kami ng mga kaibigan ko sa Skype, kahit gustong-gusto ko na talaga siyang itulak papalayo.

Sunday ngayon kaya free time ko, tinapos ko na talaga 'yung mga pending works ko sa art school para bakanteng-bakante ang Linggo ko dahil no'ng isang Linggo pa ako inaaya ni Unique na lumabas man lang. I won't deny na sobrang stressed na stressed na rin ako sa art school to the point na hindi na rin ako nakauwi last December and January sa Pilipinas although I promised Ashton that I would be home. Malapit na rin naman ang recognition kaya the past few days kaunti na lang din ang ginagawa namin, mostly completion na lang. Masaya naman kahit stressed, mostly because gusto ko 'yung ginagawa ko. Unlike noon.

"Pagbigyan mo na nga iyang si Unique, kababalik lang din diyan e," natatawang sambit ni Aisha. "Call na lang ulit tayo mamaya." Tumango naman ako at nagpaalam na sa kanila. A lot of times, kahit masaya rito sa Londo dahil marami na rin naman akong kaibigan (especially Kirs), siyempre nami-miss ko pa rin 'yung buhay ko sa Pinas. But thank God for Unique and my dad, nakaka-cope up ako sa homesickness. It's hard but with them I was able to adjust.

Mostly, because of Unique.

My boyfriend.

I didn't know how it happened, I just felt it, the closeness, the comfort. Maybe it just suddenly happened. I can even remember clearly Unique's face when I said yes.

It's almost midnight, probably 5 minutes before January 1st. We were standing comfortably on the terrace, watching everyone get ready for the countdown. Sobrang nakakatuwa kasing tignan ng mga katulong ni dad dito sa mansion. Ang saya-saya nila. I wanted to join also, pero hindi ko rin naman magawang iwanan si Unique.

Nakatitig lang kami pareho sa langit, tanaw na tanaw ang Big Ben mula sa kinaroroonan namin kaya kitang-kita namin ang pagtakbo ng oras.

I'm determined already.

I wasn't hesitant at first but I realized, it's been months. Sobrang faulty ko na siguro dahil sa mga ginagawa ko but Unique said we'll try to work this out.

We'll try. Together. And I trust him.

"Three, two, one!" Masayang sigaw ng mga nasa baba. Napangiti ako no'ng lumiwanag na ang buong paligid, sunod-sunod na ang pagputok ng fireworks. "Happy new year!" Napangiti ako habang nanonood lamang sa fireworks bago napatingin kay Unique.

"Masaya siguro kung one ang monthsary 'no?" Maingay silang lahat sa baba, but I could rather care less.

I want Unique to be happy.

"H-ha?" I chuckled a bit, I knew Unique heard me, and his reaction of trying to pretend makes me laugh. Napatingin naman ulit ako sa kaniya, halos gulantang pa rin ang hitsura. "I-ibig mong sabihin?"

Tumango ako.

"Shit—Ha?! Tayo na?!" Hindi na napigilan ni Unique na yakapin ako sa tuwa.

I smiled, trying to contain the happiness I was feeling at that spur of moment. But no matter how hard I try to contain it, I still couldn't.

Right at that moment, I felt happy. Really happy.

Hinintay ako ni Unique sa receiving room habang nagbibihis ako. Si dad naman madalang lang din makauwi rito dahil lagi rin siyang may business trips, pakiramdam ko nga binubugaw na ako ni daddy kay Unique dahil pinapayagan niyang pumasok sa kuwarto ko, may tiwala naman daw si Dad kay Unique at alam niya ang limitations niya.

Ilang minuto pa ay nakaayos na rin ako kaya kinuha ko na rin 'yung sling bag ko at pinuntahan si Unique sa receiving room.

"Mukha ka pa rin namang stressed," natatawang sambit ni Unique at inayos 'yung DSLR na nakasabit sa leeg niya. Hindi ko nga rin alam kung ano'ng pumasok sa kokote niya at gusto niya raw akong kuhanan ng shots para naman daw may mai-post siya sa IG niya. Pinayagan ko na lang, ilang araw na rin naman kaming hindi nagbo-bond dahil may tinapos kaming Film sa school. Minsan kasama ko siya sa paggawa no'ng Film at nakakapag-share rin siya ng mga alam niya para mas mapaayos 'yung Film. Sobrang fulfilling pagkatapos.

Hindi ko pinansin si Unique kaya nagulat ako no'ng bigla niya akong inakbayan, "Pikon naman masyado." Kinurot niya 'yung pisngi ko at ngumiti. "Biro lang." Inirapan ko siya.

"Huwag na lang kaya akong sumama?"

"Ito naman pikunin, joke lang," natatawa niyang sambit. Nag-make face na lang tuloy ako at sabay na kaming lumabas. Kung saan-saan kami pumunta para kumuha ng shots, minsan siya rin 'yung kinukuhanan ko gamit ng phone ko.

Panigurado maraming magugulat kapag nag-post siya ng litrato ko. 'Yung mga kaibigan ko lang naman kasi ang nakakaalam, atsaka parents naming dalawa. We really didn't to publicize it dahil maraming issue makers. Matagal na nga akong kinukulit ni Unique, pero ayaw ko namang madamay siya sa issues ko sa buhay.

Pero I realized, what's there to be scared of kung mahal mo naman 'yung tao? He's always been there, always promised me that he'll always protect me. Pareho lang din naman kami, since that's always been one of the keys to a good relationship. You both make things work out, hindi lang dapat iisang tao ang nage-effort.

No'ng mapagod na kaming kumuha ng pictures, nagpahinga muna kaming dalawa ni Unique. Ilang buwan na rin akong hindi nagche-check ng social medias ko kaya hindi na ako nagulat na marami ring notifications pagkabukas ko.

But just when I thought nothing's going to hurt me anymore? His name popping on the notifications did.

I bit my lip. Buti na lang wala pa si Unique dahil bumibili pa ng pagkain naming dalawa. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, but all of a sudden, I just wanted to cry.

Because I'm happy. Because I'm so proud.

The past few months, ang dami na rin pala nilang na-achieve. Wala rin kasi akong balita sa kanila, although babalik si Unique sa banda, hindi na muna niya inisip 'yun. He was focused on his last album because he promised to make the last album much better than the first one.

Blaster.

He's happy.

I was about to log out nang biglang may nag-message sa akin.

'Yung Na Brainwash: hey.

I immediately exited my Facebook, almost deactivating my account pero wala rin naman akong enough reason to deactivate—tsaka Messenger's still available, pakiramdam ko wala akong kawala.

"Okay ka lang?" Unique asked the moment he arrived ngumiti lang ako at tumango. I wasn't doing anything but it felt like I was already betraying Unique.

I can't.

I can't be unfair to him.

***

Alas singko na rin ng hapon no'ng makauwi ako, si Unique dumiretso na rin sa condo niya dahil kailangan niya raw i-finalize 'yung first song ng album niya. The past few months din, he's pacing back and forth from London back to the Philippines because of events where he's invited. Sabi nga ni Kean, sila na lang daw mag-sponsor ng flight tickets niya, but Dad was really adamant na siya na lang daw since he's also the one na nag-offer kay Unique na sumama sa amin.

He's just... too kind. That he deserves nothing but happiness. I can't be unfair to him.

I was currently finalizing the editing of the film we made but suddenly Blaster messaged me again, I really didn't want to give attention but a part of me wanted to know if he's okay.

So I checked his message.

'Yung Na Brainwash: i hope you're happy there.

Cass Feliciano: i am. so pls stop bothering
me

'Yung Na Brainwash: I miss you, Cass.
always will
i'll wait

Cass Feliciano: stop it blaster.
we're over 'di ba?

'Yung Na Brainwash: you can't just
stop me from loving you, Cass.
i won't give up.

Napahawak na lang ako sa sentido ko. I tossed my phone away at napasandal sa upuan, not knowing what to do.

I sighed and close my eyes.

No I can't do this to Unique.

"You can't be unfair to someone that you love, Cass," I whispered to myself.

I knew I was lying.