"Looking at him, I found his gaze held a joy that had never quite been there before."

I woke laying on my couch, a blanket tucked snuggly around me. Surveying the room, I found the gang hadn't left me while I was out and had instead also fallen asleep on any furniture they could find.

Lightly pulling the blanket away from myself, I stood up from my place on the couch. I picked my way quietly across the living room floor, careful not to wake Two-Bit who had fallen asleep on the rug. On my way to the front door, I passed Sodapop asleep on a hard kitchen chair.

For a moment I stopped, watching as his chest rose and fell with his breaths. I silently wondered whether he would think of me the same from now on. The thought of him looking at me any different ate me up inside.

Carefully, I laid the blanket I was still holding on Soda's lap before continuing on my way out the door. As quietly as I could, I snuck through the front door and out onto the small steps that led up to my house.

Taking a seat on the landing, I surveyed my neighborhood. The sun was beginning to set in the west and I sat transfixed, watching the colors of the sky change.

There was a small creak from the door behind me as someone stepped out onto the landing to join me. I turned to find Soda looking down at me. He quietly took a seat on my left.

We were quiet for a while, just watching the sun set. I was content with no words being shared between us, but the silence couldn't last long.

"When my parents died," Soda began, eyes glued to the setting sun, "it was like the world was ending." He paused to collect his thoughts for a moment before continuing. "I thought I wouldn't be able to go on. How could? My parents were amazing people." Finally, he turned to look at me and I slowly met his gaze. His bright blue eyes were filled with concern. "I don't know what you're going through right now, but what helped me the most was talking to someone. Being with people." He sighed deeply. "If I didn't have Darry and Pony, I wouldn't be here."

My eyes met his once again, as they had previously drifted away at his words. "I know I have the gang," I said quietly. "And I'm so grateful for that. But it's hard to talk sometimes." It seemed like Soda was about to say something, but I pushed forward quickly. "I know I need to talk to people. I know. But not now, okay?" I stared at him, my eyes searching his. "Please not now."

We fell quiet for another moment before Soda took a deep breath. "That's okay baby girl. When you're ready, we're always here. I'm always here."

I nodded my head and then returned my gaze to the sun, which had almost slipped behind the distant mountains. We sat together in silence, shoulder to shoulder, and took in the beauty of the world around us. Or what we could find of it at least.

So many words seemed to be left unsaid between us. It was as if the air was electrified with them, making me slightly dizzy.

I glanced down at my covered arms, remembering how it felt to dig cold steel into them. To feel the blood drip down my arm onto the floor and the relief that would rush over me. I shuddered for a moment, visualizing what the twisting scars looked like. How to me, they were almost art but to anyone else, they couldn't have been anything but terrifying.

Sodapop felt me shudder and glanced back at me. "You okay Penny?"

The air turned thick again with that electric feeling and I suddenly felt the urge to telling him something. Anything.

But all that seemed to surface in me was an apology. "I'm sorry," I said, barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry for everything."

All of a sudden I was crying, tears slipping like rain down my cheeks as I looked at him. What on earth was this boy doing to me? Why did he mean so much? I'd prided myself in not letting anyone get too close. But this boy had slipped through my defenses like water.

"Shh Penny, it's okay," Soda whispered, pulling me into a hug. "You don't need to be sorry."

Being held by Soda was like finally coming home after a long, long day. He was the eye of the storm that I had been searching for my entire life. I was suddenly very dizzy again. "Soda?" I asked, pulling away slightly.

"Yes?" He looked down at me, eyes searching mine.

Leaning forward in his arms, I pressed my lips gently against his. He responded almost immediately, wrapping his arms around my back and pulling me impossibly closer.

Electricity seemed to fill my entire being as we moved in sync. All my previous worries fluttered away, leaving just me and him. Together.

When we finally pulled apart, we were breathless. Looking at him, I found his gaze held a joy that had never quite been there before.

Words didn't seem right in that moment, and they wouldn't have been able to convey either of our feelings fully. So we sat there, holding each other tightly as the last rays of sun disappeared in the distance.