I stood still for a moment dithering on whether I should after all enter her room.
She looked at me in a challenging way.

“Phoebe, I…you…I mean in this way…”

“What?  You hadn’t expected to see me in this way, have you? This is the real me, and this is your future, should we have one, owing to recent circumstances. And I know how disgusting it must look to you. I won’t mind.”

“Phoebe I didn’t mean…”

“Say it in my face and we can make a compromise.”

“Phoebe it’s not about your wounds though it pains me. It makes me sad to see you in this condition, but believe me…”

“I saw your face and your hesitation in coming to me. It’s understandable. You’re used to seeing the prim, proper Phoebe and have no idea of the reality beneath...”

“The hell, Phoebe,” I cried out, exasperated, closing the gap between us in two long strides.

My hands shook as I placed them on her bare shoulders.

“You don’t have to touch me if it feels dirty…”

“Phoebe it’s not about your wounds. It’s about your body,” I interrupted.

She froze suddenly realizing what I meant.

“Phoebe, I’m a boy, one that’s in love with you. Your body attracts me more than anything else. And when you bare it in front of me, have some consideration for my sanity. It is taking up all of my strength to not throw you up against the wall and kiss you with every desire I have in me. You’re alluring.”

As if suddenly aware of her bare minimum clothes, she turned away from me.

“Phoebe,” I called softly, running my hand along the edges of the wound on her back. Blood spilt onto my fingers for all I cared.

“You’re beautiful. Any blister, any wound, cut or tear on this body won’t matter to me. You’ll always stay beautiful in my eyes. I know I sound like some star-struck lover but it’s the truth. Do you know why I dithered to come to you? Because I was fighting for control. Fighting my bodily urges, my love, lust and animal passion.”

“You know what?” she said, coming closer and I could feel the electricity spark between us, “I could come before you naked and I don’t think you’d give in yet. You’re stronger than you think in fighting your urges. I know what guys want. It’s all about physical satisfaction. It’s all about sex and I can’t give that to you. You knew it all these days and yet you stayed with me. That proves your strength. You don’t need my permission to touch me. You have it. You’ve earned it with your display of love.”

I lightly gripped her shoulders and kissed her on one intact patch of skin I could find on her neck. I could feel the thrill running through her body. Passions lit up every nerve of mine and I realized how close I was to losing that control. I reigned my desires and simply smiled and tried to hug her.

She pulled back gently and said, “It’ll spoil your dress. Your mom won’t like to do a bloody laundry.”

I grinned.

“You know what?” her gentle eyes met mine. “If I give myself over to those people, the ones I was talking about, this body which you love will become their plaything. This body will be stared at by lots of scientists. Any new researcher and they would want to look at me. It’s different with the kids, but not comfortable with me. I need the privacy of my body as much as I need the cure. Once I sign their form, I’ll lose whatever semblance of a normal life I’ve tried to create here. My entire existence will turn to surgeries, drugs, and more surgeries, follow up visits, multiple consultations and even maybe seminars. People love to talk and I don’t think I want to be gawked at.”

She stopped to catch her breath.

“You would argue they are doctors, but they are humans too and I don’t blame them for it, but don’t you think they would be attracted towards me in a different way. I know they’ll cover it up with professional distance and no needless exposing and yet, why should I go through that exposing unless I absolutely need it.”

“What about the cure? You could live a more normal life,” I argued again.

“A sham. I have scanned the internet. There’s not a single documented case of this being cured. If it had been so effective, we would be reeling with the news. It would be a major scientific breakthrough. Jonathan Pitre died this April and he was only seventeen. Couldn’t they have helped him? But no. I tell you everything is experimental. I wouldn’t go under the surgeon’s blade unless I know I’m going to be benefitted. My life is already a big uncertainty. I don’t need another uncertainty to add to it.”

She turned to me her eyes demanding, “What if something goes wrong? Are you ready to risk me to some surgery the results of which would be inconclusive?”

“No,” I said firmly. “I can’t risk you. I’ll try to do some more research and let you know my opinions though.

She nodded still holding on to me.

“But why did you strip all of a sudden. Was it only to challenge me or is there any other motto?” I was puzzled.

“I wanted you to win over your fears and to drive home my point and besides,” she averted my eyes. “If you’re really going to be with me for life, you’d better start helping me with things mom helps me with.”

I raised my eyebrows in question.

“Help me take a bath.”

A/N What do you feel about the recent developments?