I woke up with a start.

My first thoughts were, “I’m late, freaking late and somebody has gotten to Daniel before I could go.”

Turning over I looked at the window and it was dark outside, or so it seemed.

I grabbed my phone and glanced at the time. Four thirty. Phew! It was still two hours to morning and I could reach the hospital before the eight o’ clock medications timing.

Putting down my phone, I closed my eyes, trying to sleep again when my thoughts went back to Daniel. I was the sole reason why the attempt was made yesterday. Sebastian had no enmity with Daniel. His problems were me and Sarah. Daniel just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong moment which led to him hitting Paul which in turn resulted in the danger looming over him now.

Moreover, that was because of me too. I took him there to meet the kids. The more I thought, the more the feeling of guilt consumed me. He was skipping breakfast, spending less time with his family and getting roughed up, all because he loved me. I should have been the one to turn away. If I go now, distance myself from him, he may stay at peace.

But my heart refused to accept the dictates of my mind. Even if I had endangered him, now if I wanted to turn back, I knew I couldn’t do it without shattering two lives.

Was I ready to take the risk?
What mattered more — his life or my selfish desires?

It was a question I knew I didn’t have an answer for. I could just go and quarrel with him. I could pretend to break up and distance myself from him, but would that keep him safe?

The answer was no. Once he had gotten involved, there was no going back. We had to have each other’s back against the dreary, conspiring world.

And so I suppressed the doubts and again drew up my phone to drop him a text. He always kept his phone shut while sleeping, so I would get a hint if he was awake. The thought of scolding him for staying awake made me smile again.

I’m there in three more hours, darling. See you soon.

The text immediately got the fluorescent blue tick.

Okay. Muah!

“Gotcha!” I murmured.

Why aren’t you asleep? You must take rest.

Can’t sleep. :-/

Why?

Need you, your lips.

Addiction to kisses is as bad as cigarettes.

I know, both kills.

You’re impossible.

Glad to hear that.

I smiled into the dark again. Our usual bantering on WhatsApp if read would make another person double up in laughter.

Go to sleep and I’m serious this time.

Ohkkay mummy...

I sent a slapping emoji followed by kisses and a big red heart.

Talking to him had lessened all dark thoughts as I fell asleep again.

I was woken up by the sunlight filtering through the blinds and directly falling on my eyes. Stretching myself, I set up the data connection on my phone to get a dropdown email notification.

With the growing number of advertisements, it was really cumbersome to check the daily mails.

Nevertheless I opened one, still yawning.
I stopped midway at the name of the sender.

Jamie.

“Oh shit!” I muttered, wide awake now.
With shaking hands I opened the mail.

Dear Sister,

Hope you’re fine. It’s glad to know you’re out there somewhere, just that I would have liked to meet you. I won’t tell mom or dad and I guarantee you that it would be our secret. Please meet me once and I’ll never ever trouble you again. I know it’s tough for you, but it’s tougher for me to stay away, more now that I know you’re there.
Waiting for your reply.

Yours Jamie.

His mail made a lump in my throat. I should never have lent him an email address. My past was best forgotten but I had made a slip and there was no going back now. I couldn’t give away my location, or my identity. I could refuse him again. But it would only add to the growing despair. Staying in ignorance is tough, but actually being deliberately cut off is pure torture and I know it. My parents may be forgotten in my daily hassles, but once in a while, didn’t I think of them?

I did. They were my past as much as they are my present. I can’t deny their existence as much as I would love to have.
But I had things to do and my life to get a grip on. I couldn’t bear to be distracted by Jamie, not yet.

Sorry I can’t meet you. I don’t know how to apologize enough, but I can’t let you see me now. We’ll keep in touch by mail though.

Love you.

“Short and crisp,” I mumbled, hitting the send button, though my heart lurched.
I ignored the phone and dragged myself out of bed. Almost immediately the phone started ringing.

The name floating on the screen made me do a double take. My first thoughts were, “Where did he get my number?”

And then I realized that I was the one who had given Jamie my number and I was plain Phoebe to him, no one else.
Calming myself, I tried to bring my voice to neutrality as I received the call.

“Good Morning, sis.”

“Good morning! How’re you?” I tried to bring some cheer into my voice.

“That’s what I should’ve asked you.”

“I’m fine.”

“Good, but you see I wanted to talk to you about something…”

“Yes?” I knew where this was going.

“You found my sister?”

There was more sadness in his voice than joy which was quite expected as his world hadn’t changed as that mysterious sister never showed her face.

“I delivered your letter,” I changed the topic, not wanting to lie directly.

“She sent me an e-mail.”

“Oooooo, that’s great,” the excitement came out rather dry.

"She doesn’t want to talk to me or show her face," his voice had no anger, only resentment.

“I’m sorry but that must be a tough choice for her even.”

“Can’t you give her address to me? Or her phone number?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sworn to secrecy. Besides your sister is really stubborn and until she wants to come to light, no power on earth can bring her. I’m sorry.”

At least my apology was genuine. It was so difficult to speak from a third person’s point of view, but I had to do it. I wasn’t ready yet to accept Jamie in my life.

“Could I trace back her address?”

“I don’t think she’d be foolish enough to deliver the letter from her address,” I said, not sure if I was defending my shrewdness.

“That’s true too, anyway, let’s see if I can coax her.”

“Sure, and I have some work. Talk to you later,” I disconnected the call, afraid that I might slip if I talked any longer.

Turning around, I found my mother at the doorway.
How much had she heard?

“Really Phoebe?” she asked. “Are you that inconsiderate? I thought you were mature enough and he’s just a child. Why did you need to make contacts and false promises if you were going to keep him away?”

The anger and the disappointment in me got the better of my patience.
“My life is mine to handle, Mom,” I snapped, not wanting to do it.

“Fine, fine,” she raised her hands. “My mouth is shut. Do whatever you like! Come down to breakfast now and I’ll drive you to the hospital.”

I crossed my arms in defense and turned around.

She shrugged and attempted to go.
“Just remember,” she said, pausing at the threshold, “You have every freedom to control your own life, but your freedom ends where his rights begin. I just hope you know what you’re doing.”

She slammed the door, leaving me in a bigger mess of feelings than I was in before.

A/N.... Do you think what Phoebe is doing is right?