| 24 |

The hospital holds many memories for me, most of which being bad. The thing that tied all of those memories together, was the ending. The fact that each and every time, I was fortunate enough to walk out of those double doors.

But what if Winnie and I aren't so lucky this time? Winnie will be devastated.

What if Rosa- our mom- isn't okay, like we thought. Sure it was only a panic attack that brought her into the hospital- but that isn't the only health condition she has.

I wait outside of the room, tapping my feet anxiously. Winsley kindly asked me if I wanted to see Rosa- but I was quick to turn her down.

I know the question sat in her mind, as she hesitated a moment, before leaving me to talk to Rosa.

"Are you still mad at mom?" I know she wanted to say, but I was glad she didn't. Not because I don't want her to know, but mainly because I myself don't really know.

Am I still mad?

I guess when I really think about it, I'm tired of holding a grudge. But... Even if I'm not angry anymore, I still don't think I could ever go back to the way things were before.

I can't trust her anymore, because who knows? What if she leaves again?

I gulped, my hand tightening into a fist. What if she leaves?

| 25 |

Past

"Paris, you've hardly touched your dinner." My dad nodded at my plate, and I lifted my head to glance at him.

"Not Very hungry, dad." I used my fork to push all the food to one side of the plate, hiding the meat in the mashed potatoes.

The truth is, I'm following Brea's rules. "Take a couple bites of dinner, but that'll be all. If your dad ever gets suspicious, you'll have to go ahead and eat your meal, but don't let it sit long. I showed you the technique, the first couple of times will feel weird, but you'll get used to it."

I lifted the toothbrush, "like this?" I held it some inches from my throat, demonstrating what she taught me.

Brea watched, before giving me a nod. "Yup. If you ever need to, use your finger if you don't have a toothbrush lying around."

Later that night, I climbed into bed. My gaze fell on the picture frame on my nightstand. I pursed my lips.

Soon I'll be pretty.

"One day, you'll regret leaving me behind." I sighed, staring into Rosa's eyes.