I need another glimpse. I need to see what the droid registered before it reset. There's so much left and to do that I need to let this play out in a similar way. But this time, I can't let him follow me. Not again. That death was my fault, my doing — especially if I'm about to let Thuni die again.

I'm sorry. I wish I had another choice, but I'm so close to the answer I can almost taste it.

It was back to phase one of the loop blueprint, where it all started. The briefing. Admiral Mythrai droned on the same spiel of every loop before. Izerva no longer fidgeted at their post by the door. Instead, they let out a thoughtful huff before their gaze drifted to Neo. Nova struggled to get an angle on Thuni from her desk while pressing her face into her arms to block her senses.

Thuni sat in his seat and wrote something down on his datascroll.

There might be a chance that if I take Neo out of the equation early and put myself in his place... I'll die instead. Nova mulled over the possibility, but she needed a safer bet. An assurance that with her death, the loop would end and Neo would be free from his fate.

Nova rested her head deeper into her hands and forced a drawn out sigh past her lips. Think about all those times. All those times I failed him. The things I've seen and am about to do.

Remember the look he made before...

Just don't let him start his spiel.

Get him out of this room until the lockdown, and then I can make my move.

Every loop twined into her memories. Both so long yet so short. How much time had passed since their fateful arrival to the station, if it passed at all. Some blurred with numb ice. From the first, where a stake impaled his curious, kind heart. To the latest, where the black hole pierced his throat and stole his voice, leaving her to stand in a puddle of his blood.

Tears swam against the dam at his previous gentle words.

But why comfort me when you're the one who dies?

Flames blazed against her skin as she forced herself to gaze into the finest details she eased out of her mind. Time spun into longer sections, and she struggled to remember the smallest wingbeat of a butterfly flying through the current of time.

"Spacyn?" Admiral Mythrai stopped his spiel. "Spacyn, do you need a moment?"

But if this is what I have to do...

Every voice screamed in the orchestra of the space station. Neo's hand rested on her shoulder, and the butterfly necklace swung on time's pendulum with his smallest movement. "Nova?" he whispered with a frown, and shadows danced in his eyes. "Are you okay?"

Nova held onto him when he wrapped his other arm around her shoulders to guide her out of the chair. One quick glimpse of Thuni and Ulin, where both shared a look of concern. But how long does Thuni have his own mind?

"Admiral?" Neo asked, clearer than the last. "I'm going to take her back to our living quarters. I'll resume the briefing at the next open slot of the shift."

"Very well, Teimea. All of you are dismissed."

Neo pulled her out of the dome and she let the dam overflow. No detail left out, she committed it all to memory.

"Teimea, Spacyn," Thuni called, and Nova shoved aside the crimson veil around him which controlled his corpse and murdered Neo in front of her. "Is everything alright?"

Neo's gaze emptied out of all previous concern when he twisted to glance at Thuni. "Hm..." He hummed and held her tighter, his hands trembled. "I'm about to find out. Good luck with your droid."

"Right, take care." Thuni nodded at Ulin, who hesitated on the edge of the loop's track.

Nova forced herself to abandon them and hugged Neo tight against her as their footsteps disappeared.

"Nova?" he asked. "What's wrong? Can you talk to me?"

Anything to tear herself away from the knowledge of allowing another person to die, all for the fleeting chance of an answer. "I'm just tired, Neo," she whispered. "Can we go back?"

I'd say go back home... but I can settle for less.

"Okay."

Nova let Neo take the lead back to their quarters. Workers shuffled along to their next shift, unaware of the doom. Heart clenched, she waited for Neo to unlock the door with his keypass. Nova reached out to touch his back, but hesitated at the distant, shadowy expression carving into his cheeks. As it hissed open to their relative safety, he wandered in with an uneven gait, and she steadied his arm when the door clicked closed behind them.

"Neo?" she asked when he refused to look at her. "Are you okay?"

Neo leaned forward, then turned with a smile, but he took in quiet, heavy breaths. "I'm okay. You're the one that was crying, Nova."

I had no other way of getting you out of that meeting.

He crossed his fingers together with another, sharper huff to leave his nose, but the smile never wavered. "You... want to talk about it with me? It seemed like you didn't get enough sleep during rest."

"I'm... homesick." Nova held her stomach and the truth close to her heart before wiping the tears off her cheeks.

His smile softened from the ice, then brushed his neck, the same place the piercing tooth ripped his throat open. "Well, if we can find a way out of this nebula and find the D.S Butterfly, we can go home. I think we're getting closer..." He drifted off and pinched his throat. "I might be coming down with something."

Nova stepped out of his way when he swayed to the small kitchenette. "Neo? What makes you say that?"

"You know one of the other interns came in hacking up a storm?" Neo drifted his hand across the edge of the table, resting on the fridge to grab a water capsule in slow motion. "I mean, he might've been choking on food, of course, but I don't want to catch anything." He twisted back to her without a change in the smile, but emptiness filled the grey stars. "As much as I find this exciting... I think..." His smile broke, and he rested his head against the fridge with a shuddered sigh. "I think I'm tired and homesick as well."

Nova followed every little motion when he left the kitchenette to head for his desk and take out the crimson sample. "I'd be concerned if you weren't, Neo," she said to shatter the silence.

Neo gulped a hefty swig of the capsule, then swayed with a return of the smile. "It's okay, I'm just feeling under the weather, that's all, no worries," he assured.

... it's not touching his eyes. Nova studied him when he pushed the capsule against his brow, the smile twisting against his cheeks. "Do you need to have a nap?"

Neo raised a hand, and his fingers trembled. "I woke up not... not long ago, maybe? I don't want to mess up my schedule anymore. Also—" He poked her shoulder when she approached to steady him. "I'm the one that should be asking if you're alright and saying you should sleep."

"I'll be fine. I just have a lot on my mind."

"I see." His expression folded into cold observation, and she flinched at the other memory of a room of lies built on the wings of holographic butterflies. He blinked, then rubbed his throat again. "Maybe..." His lips parted with a soft exhale and he shuffled for his chair. Everything sped faster with the uneven step. Nova lunged forward to stop his collapse, setting him down on the chair. "Huh?"

"Neo, I think you should lie down."

"I'm okay," he repeated. "I think I'm just coming down with something."

No, you're not acting like yourself. Nova released him when he brushed his fingers against his nose. Nova brushed his back. "You don't have to be so stubborn about it. We have... some time."

Neo gave her a confused, weary blink. "Right, the briefing." He brought both hands to his temples and closed his eyes. "I forgot. Bad memory." Deep breaths lifted his shoulders, and Nova nudged him out of the chair to get him in the safety of bed. "I really need to get better at that..."

Nova stood at the doorframe as he sprawled across his mattress and cuddled close to the wall.

Something isn't right. Nova glared at the nebula outside, expanding through the edges of the known galaxy.

"So, there might be a tiny problem," Neo said from his pillow.

Nova came close to his side. "And what's that?"

Neo overturned onto his back and rested an arm against his brow. "I can't sleep."

"Close your eyes, don't force it." I'll figure this out.

Neo clenched his hand into a fist, but released it in time with another shaky exhale. "Right, yes, I suppose the first step in attempting to relax is closing my eyes." He burrowed deeper into the covers, but he stared up at the roof. "I'll try." He released an uneasy chuckle, then smiled up at her, full of cracked pain. "Are you... Are you going to check on Thuni and Ulin when I close them?"

"I'll check on them in a couple hours." Nova sat on her bed.

"Why not now?"

Because I need to figure out what's gone wrong with you. Nova tasted the words, then settled with, "You need me more. Thuni is also going to want to figure this out on his own. It's his droid." Nova resented the other half of the truth. And so I can let him die.

It hurt to make the choice when she had no other route left to her. Nova sighed out the weight crushing her lungs, and then sat down on Neo's bed instead. "If I leave you now, you'll probably take the chance to overwork yourself, you workaholic."

His eerie silence made her check on him, but he continued his staredown with the roof. He said, "That was quick."

"What?"

"You started crying at the briefing," he whispered, and Nova flinched at the shadows of a nebula twisting into the greys. "You're all business again..."

Nova leaned on the wall. "You know me, Neo. I can bounce back as long as I give myself something to work towards." Her own smile came out forced, and at the subtle shift in the air, she scoffed and tapped his shoulder. "And don't you start saying 'I don't know everything about you'. We've known each other for a while now. We lived in the same dorm for... what, quadrums now?" Nova hesitated when her words appeared to break apart his thoughtful expression into the same, pained emptiness. "Neo?"

"It's nothing, I was just... I was going to say that there's always something new to learn." He twisted onto his side.

Nova brushed his shoulder. "Just try and rest."

He made an affirmative noise and she lifted herself out of his bed to leave the bedroom and return to her desk. Time ticked on, and she took her chance to relax and dig through his, quieter than space. Sample in her hands, she hid it on her toolbelt. I'm sorry, Neo. I can't give you an excuse to follow me. Not this time.

Nova rolled back to her own computer to sort through her files. Time remained against her when she shuffled through her droid's data, including Neo's scanner module, and what she knew of Ulin's. Most of our modules are the same. It's our cores that are different. I still think the reason my droid wasn't destroyed is because it carried the actual heart, and Thuni's droid got unlucky in carrying that thing.

One more clue to the puzzle.

Their core has information I don't have. Information I need to get a better look at. This time, I'm going to study it, and make sure I remember. Nova moved the datascroll before returning to check on Neo. "Neo?"

"Hm...?"

"Well, I was going to ask if you were sleeping, but I guess that answered my question."

"No, I said I can't sleep."

Nova returned to him when he twisted onto his back, and she peered into his face. "Neo, you look awful."

"Thanks."

"No, I mean..." Nova twisted the light panel to get a better view, and he winced from the brightness, his features gaunt and near ashen. "You look... super unwell."

Half-dead...

Neo brushed his hand through his dark hair. "Oh, that type of looking awful."

"Are you sure you're not tired?"

"Not..." He hesitated. "Maybe? I don't know." He sighed, then smiled at her. "I have a headache, but that's about it."

Time danced. Space constricted.

"A headache?" Nova loomed closer. "Where, Neo?"

"Where?"

"Yes, Neo, where?"

"My eyes."

Your eyes?

Space choked. Time stopped.

Everything slowed down when it came closer to the lockdown. Whether it was her imagination or something underneath the looping terror, she drowned in the continuum. She had no answer.

But I have to hurry and get some.