"JOONIE."

The sound of his voice created goosebumps on Namjoon's skin as he slowly opened his eyes.

He blinked a few times to focus on the face staring back at him, but once he did he immediately pulled his head away.

Jin smiled as he adjusted his pillow. "Morning, Sunshine."

Namjoon took a moment to drink in his surroundings. He was currently laying in Jin's bed, both of them back in the familiar blue walls. He was too tired to question when or how he got there and he also didn't care at the moment.

Jin laughed. "I see you're not fully awake yet."

Namjoon buried his head in the crook of his boyfriend's neck. "I don't want to get up."

"Come on, my little vampire."

"Five more minutes," the dongsaeng pleaded.

The elder sighed as he wrapped his arms around him. "Okay. Five more minutes. Then how would you like it if I made some pancakes? You know, with strawberries and bananas and gummy worms and whip cream with a cherry on top? Just how you like it?"

Namjoon smiled and placed a soft kiss on Jin's collar bone. "You were never the best at making American food, but I have to admit, your pancakes are the bomb."

"True, true. But now I'm reconsidering. Maybe eating you is probably tastier!"

Before Namjoon could respond he could feel teeth digging into his skull.

He shouted, grimacing at the sharp pain on his head. He then felt no more pain there and instead felt Jin biting down on his ear. Then he bit his arm and after disappeared under the blankets and continued down to bite his thigh.

Namjoon jerked his body, laughing. "Hyung! Q-Quit it!"

Jin let go a few bites later, laughing along with him as he reappeared from the sheets and silenced both their sounds of joy when he kissed the sleepy boy.

Namjoon melted into the kiss, intertwining their fingers together.

This was paradise.

"I love your morning breath," Jin mumbled against his lips.

Namjoon cringed and pulled away, chuckling. "You just made it weird, hyung. Good going."

Jin pouted. "What? I can't say personal things like that to my boyfriend?"

"Get out of here." Namjoon playfully shoved Jin's face away.

"C'mere. We still have, like, three minutes left." Before he could escape out of bed he was once again trapped in Jin's arms, his back pressed up against his chest.

Jin leaned over until his nose was right next to Namjoon's ear and purposely inhaled and exhaled short breaths to tickle him. Namjoon's hand shot up to cover the entrance to his ear as he squirmed.

"Hyung, when I said five minutes I meant of sleep! Not five minutes of teasing!"

Jin didn't answer with words. He removed Namjoon's hand from his ears and folded his lips to cover his teeth before placing the tips of Namjoon's fingers in his mouth. He pressed down on his fingers with his teeth that were too covered by his inner flesh to do any harm and let go every split second, making it look like he was a toothless baby trying to eat carrots.

Namjoon just sighed in defeat and let him do whatever he wanted.

"You love it when I do things like this," Jin said, lacing their fingers together after taking his hand out of his mouth. "Admit it."

"I'm not saying anything. Now let me sleep."

Jin rolled over Namjoon to get off of the bed, causing him to groan and grunt from the pressure of his weight.

"Nope! Time's up!"

Namjoon closed his eyes and sank his face into the pillow. "Tell me when breakfast is ready then."

He heard Jin sigh and then felt a soft kiss on his temple before footsteps walked down the stairs.

He slept for a while longer until the smell of food had him climbing out of bed and rushing down the steps. Soft humming that instantly put Namjoon in a relaxed state could be heard from the kitchen, so he entered it and smiled when the sight of Jin voicing a soft tune danced in the air as he continued to make another pancake.

Namjoon decided to creep up on him and wrap his arms around his waist since he had his back turned. Jin flinched, abruptly halting the tune, but quickly relaxed when he realized who it was.

"Don't scare me like that, Joonie!" Jin scolded as he smacked Namjoon's arm. "Bad boy!"

Namjoon spun him around and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "Ow."

Jin pouted. "That's what you get, you fool."

"I didn't mean to."

Jin sighed and smiled softly before wrapping his arms around Namjoon's neck. "I know you didn't." He then traveled his hands down to Namjoon's chest and gently pushed him away. "Go on now. I'm almost done."

Reluctantly, the dongsaeng complied and walked out. He pulled a stool from the kitchen counter and sat in silence as he watched Jin cook through the big opening that revealed the kitchen. Jin went back to humming as he dropped a few chopped bananas and strawberries on top and opened the bag of gummy worms.

"Is that your newest song?"

"What is?" Jin asked.

"The one you are humming—is it a new song you wrote?"

Jin nodded as he sprayed the whipped cream on the surface of a pancake.

"Yep."

"What's it called?"

"Haven't thought of a name."

Namjoon nodded.

Jin finished with topping the delicious food off by putting a cherry on top and handed a plate to Namjoon with a grin.

"Bon appetite!"

He wasted no time digging in.

Jin then began on his own serving. "And you? How's your first song coming along? 'Converse High', was it? That's the name, right?"

Namjoon nodded as he poured syrup on his plate. "Mhm. Yoongi-hyung's helping me write it, too."

"Oh, really? That's nice of him."

"Yeah. He's pretty talented. He wrote this song under forty minutes called 'I Like It'."

"Wow. That's impressive."

"I know."

Jin took his plate and sat beside his partner on the counter. He leaned over to Namjoon and puckered his lips as he closed his eyes. Namjoon only smiled as he scooped up some whip cream on his index finger and dumped it on the older boys' nose.

Jin fluttered his eyes open and pouted. "Joonie."

Namjoon continued to keep the grin on his face. He licked the cream off before he placed a gentle kiss on Jins' lips.

"There," he said, quietly. "Happy?"

Jin joined in on the smiling and nodded contently. "Very."

He took the white piece hanging from his neck and connected it with Namjoons' black one.

"Remember when I gave you this?" he asked, staring down at the united parts. "I gave you the butterfly with two different colored wings and then gave you a necklace with it."

"How could I forget?" Namjoon replied.

Jins' smile faltered. "Do you still dislike my blond hair?"

Namjoon sighed, running his fingers through it, making Jin lock eyes with him.

"I've always loved it," he finally said.

Jin once again showed off his white teeth. "I love you, Namjoon."

"And I..." Namjoon paused, dropping his arm to his side, frowning.

Something was off.

Jin tilted his head. "What is it, darling?"

Namjoon stared at him, feeling very odd indeed. Jin only blankly stared back.

It was almost as if those three words triggered an abandoned place in Namjoons' mind. Surely he should've been able to say it back with ease. It felt like they had been a couple long enough where "I love you, too" should have been something automatic.

Jin finally dismissed him with an impatient smile as he turned back to his food. "It's okay. You don't have to say it."

"I don't love you." He said it while looking down at his lap, without the thought even crossing his mind before it ran off of his tongue.

Jin shrugged. "That's okay. Take your time."

"No, hyung," Namjoon said, looking at him again. "I don't love you. I don't even remember agreeing to be with you."

Jin looked back at him with a mouth full of pancakes, eyebrows furrowing.

"Tell me," he continued, "what did we do yesterday or the day before? What's the date today? How did we get together? What—"

Suddenly memories of the glass shattering and the car flipping flooded back into his brain and his eyes became saucers.

"This isn't real. You're not real."

Almost as soon as he said that he spotted a faint light in the corner of his eye. He turned his head to find a small flame flickering on Jins' bookshelf. That small flame began to multiply, and before he knew it the whole shelf caught on fire. It spread like the plague, engulfing anything and everything in its wake—the T.V, the rug, the couch, picture frames—slowly making its way towards them.

"You should go," Jin spoke in a monotone voice, causing Namjoon to snap his head back to him.

"But... What about—"

"I'm not real, remember? You should go. There is nothing left for you here."

Namjoon looked at the spreading fire before giving a curt nod to him and running out of the place. As soon as he let the knob go the door burned with the flames until not a piece of it remained. The last bit of light disintegrated and everything was pitch black after that.

Namjoon looked around for any sign of life.

Where am I? he wondered. How did I get here?

"Kim Namjoon," a voice reverberated through the darkness.

Namjoon frantically looked around in all different directions, but it did nothing.

The deep, rich, male voice spoke up again. "You must be very confused at this point. That's expected. Allow me to explain."

"Who's there?" he asked.

"Well I was getting to that if you would just let me finish."

Namjoon remained silent.

"There. That's better. I go by many names. I go by the Grim Reaper, in some tails, or King Yan, Mors, Letum, and other names that basically means the embodiment of death. But you can call me Thanatos. Oh, and don't worry. You're not dead. . . yet."

Namjoon swallowed hard at that.

The room then began to light up and he found himself face-to-face with several mirrors standing at different and random spots on the floor. Blue lights shined from the ceiling, but that was the only warmth provided. It felt like a freezer in there, causing Namjoon to give an involuntary shiver. Ignoring the cold air, he looked around, crushing broken glass lying on the floor into more pieces as he shifted his feet. All he could see was his reflection looking back at him. . . well. . . all but one. He jumped back when he noticed a beautiful black man with a white toga and raven-like wings staring at him in one of the mirrors.

"This isn't real," he whispered to himself.

"You can keep telling yourself that," said Thanatos with a blank look on his face, "or you can figure out how you can leave this place as fast as possible so you can go back to your sister and that boy toy of yours."

Namjoon attempted to wake up one last time by rubbing his eyes and pinching himself, but when he saw the man still patiently waiting for him he sighed and gave up.

"This isn't possible," Namjoon said. "I'm an atheist. I don't believe in gods. You're a god—Thanatos, Greek god of death, yes? This doesn't make any sense."

Thanatos pinched the bridge of his nose. "That is correct, yes, and I know you're an atheist. It's rather complicated. You're dying. You are actually currently in a coma at this very moment. I'm here as your conscious, you could say, if that helps make sense in your head. You're currently between the living realm and the nonliving realm and your fate is unpredictable so I am here to attempt to get you out of this mess in time before your soul completely leaves your body, but if you run out of time I'll just have to take you elsewhere."

Namjoon tried to take in the information as best as he could, but he was panicking on the inside. Nothing made sense. His mind was spinning. Everything was spinning. Nausea overcame him as well as a head ache, and the next thing he knew he was falling. He felt his back harshly hit the ground and, suddenly filled with exhaustion, his eyes began to close.

"You're slipping," came Thanatos's voice. "If you fall asleep you'll die."

I can't. . . keep. . . my eyes. . . open, Namjoon said in his mind.

Just as his eye lids shut a soft, warm touch filled his right cheek. He used the last of his energy to reopen them, squinting, and saw Jin with his encouraging gaze and heavenly aura looking down at him.

"Joonie," he cooed. "Joonie, wake up. Come on. For me? Please? You have to come back. We're all waiting for you. I'm waiting for you."

"Right," Namjoon whispered.

The soft touch was then gone and so was his face. Namjoon tried to reach out for him only to find air. His eyes shot open as he sat up and realized he was in his old home when he was a child.

"Mama!"

Namjoon watched as his five-year-old self ran past him and out of the door.

"We should follow him," said the familiar voice behind him.

Namjoon snapped his head up to find Thanatos standing over him. The god tilted his head, clearly waiting for him to do something other than just sit there.

Namjoon, seeing no other option, stood up and walked down the stairs and into the kitchen where he could smell his mother's food filling the air.

Young Namjoon hopped up and down in excitement as his mom walked back and forth in the kitchen, grabbing ingredients.

"Mama!" he screeched with a grin as fat as his chubby cheeks. "Mama!"

His mother rolled her eyes as she boiled chicken. "What is it now, Namjoon?"

"Mama, I put Min to sleep all by myself!"

"That's nice, dear. Go lay with her until dinner time."

"Okay." He skipped off without a care in the world and the room then went dark again.

"You were so happy then," Thanatos's voice spoke, yet their was no physical sign of him. "What happened?"

"I. . ." Namjoon swallowed and licked his chapped lips. "I found people annoying. That is all."

"Are you sure about that? Think harder, Namjoon. It's the only way you can escape. If you just face the truth we'll be out of here much sooner."

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Namjoon exploded, grabbing fistfuls of his hair.

"Hmm. Perhaps you need a bit of motivation."

A sick feeling settled on the pit of his stomach at the sound of those words.

"Oppa!" screamed a third voice that came from behind him.

He quickly spun around to find Min tied to a stake in the woods, panic seizing her eyes. Her breathing quickened as fire began to appear from under her feet.

"Oppa! Help! Please!"

Namjoon wanted to squeeze his eyes shut and cover his ears but he found that he couldn't. He was completely frozen in place, not because his brain wouldn't let him, but because something else wouldn't let him. It was almost as if gravity was too strong.

This isn't real, he told himself.

Thanatos emerged from the flames and approached him carefully with a calm expression. "It may not be real, but you'll still have to watch her burn, and believe me it will look as vivid as it would in the living world."

Min let out a blood-curdling scream as the flames made their way up her bare legs, scorching her smooth skin with every harmful touch.

"Stop it!" Namjoon cried.

"Admit it. Admit it to yourself and this will all go away."

He couldn't take it. He didn't know what this god wanted from him. For as long as he could remember he had been like this. He had been detached, distant, and emotionless. Nothing in particular caused him to be who he was.

Nothing. . .

Nothing. . .

Was that really true?

"OPPA!" Hot tears ran down Min's cheeks as the fire traveled up to her lower abdomen.

"MIN!" Namjoon shouted.

Even if it wasn't real it sure as hell felt like it and he wanted it to stop.

"Come on," Thanatos urged. "You're getting there."

Namjoon wanted so badly to kill this god, but what he wanted more was to squeeze his eyes shut and wish all of this away.

It reminded him of the day that Min. . .

Namjoon bit his lip.

Maybe it was because of her that made him who he was.

"I-It was an accident," he whispered, feeling his eyes getting misty. "I was scared. Please let her go."

Finally the horrifying image of watching his baby sister burn to death disappeared and when he blinked Thanatos was gone and he found himself in Mins' old room.

Young Namjoon and two-year-old Min were cuddled on her bed, falling asleep. Young Namjoon stroked her long hair as she dozed off.

"Oppa," she whispered in her sleep, "I'm cold."

Young Namjoon smiled gently at her and pulled her closer. "Is that better or do you want the candle closer to you?"

"Candle," she said, sleepily.

Namjoon watched as his younger self got up from the bed and took the candle from the white dresser that was against the pink wall, oblivious to the inevitable consequences. He then returned back to the bed and put the vanilla scented candle that sat in the glass in between their faces to warm her up.

"Don't touch the fire, Min," Young Namjoon warned. "It hurts you if you touch it."

Min nodded and smiled before she went to sleep. Pretty soon Young Namjoon fell unconscious, as well, with the candle light still flickering. Namjoon was forced to watch in horror as his young self went to slip his hand under his cheek for better comfort and ended up tipping over the glass in the process. Min's long beautiful black hair soon caught on fire and she woke up screaming with her ear getting burned in the process. Young Namjoon sat up in bed and watched with wide eyes as Min ran around her room screaming bloody murder and crying hysterically. She finally fell to the floor, writhing in pain.

Namjoon wanted to rush to her side and put the fire out, but he knew he couldn't do anything. It was the past. You can't change the past.

Young Namjoon ran over to her, grabbed her quilt, and tried to air it out with the blanket.

"MAMA!" he screamed.

His mother then came barging in the room and the sight had her going crazy.

"Get away from her!" she screamed as she shoved him out of the way and carried Min out to the bathroom.

Young Namjoon's breathing quickened as he heard his mother screaming in the bathroom and more of Mins' cries, but he did not move an inch from the floor. He just stared out into the hallway, eyes brimmed with tears.

The room darkened once again and his vision was as black as his heart. Only for a moment or two. Then when Namjoon blinked he saw his two-year-old sister sleeping in the hospital room, a side of her face covered with bandages.

Namjoon looked away, unable to face the damage he had caused. He walked out into the hallway and saw his young self sitting in one of the chairs with his head in his hands, sobbing. His mother stormed down the hallway with the look of a murderer as she approached his younger self.

"What did you do?!" she yelled.

Young Namjoon immediately stood up and faced her, terrified. "Mother. . . I'm sorry."

As soon as he was in her reach she struck him hard across the face, sending him to the ground with a bloody lip.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" she screeched, earning stares from nurses and patients walking by. "HOW COULD YOU?"

"Stop it," said Namjoon, squeezing his eyes shut. "I don't want to see anymore."

"It's hard," Thanatos's voice came. "It's hard to bring up old wounds you tried so hard to cover up. But this is good in a way."

"Why do I need to remember this?" Namjoon finally opened his eyes and faced Thanatos in a white room. "What good does this do?"

"For an intelligent man who scored top 1% in his class you are pretty stupid."

"Just because I don't understand one thing does not make me stupid," Namjoon harshly shot back.

Thanatos shrugged, unfazed at his sudden outburst. "Well I guess I should help you since you obviously cannot figure it out for yourself. You see, you've been living your life detached from society and making a waste of your existence. If you die now you will stay in purgatory. Purgatory is—"

"I know what purgatory is," he interrupted. "It's the realm between the living world and the spiritual world, which souls are supposedly stuck in when they have unfinished business."

"Exactly. And that, my friend, is not a fun place to be in for the rest of your after life. You want to be in your happy place, don't you? Well in order to do that you need to look inside yourself and figure out what is stopping you from doing that. What is preventing you from living to your full potential?"

Namjoon looked at Thanatos's shiny black hair that tumbled down his shoulders as he thought back to the incident with Min. "After Min, I. . ." He swallowed. "I hated myself for so long. I lied to Jimin. I have felt failure before. Almost losing her shook me to my very core, and that pain was so terrible I never wanted to feel it again. So I stayed away from everyone. I shut everyone out, scared that I would have to go through the fear of losing someone dear to me. No matter how many times Min begged me to play with her, no matter how many times my friends asked me out, no matter how much people wanted to get to know me, I wouldn't let them."

"Go on," said the god.

"And after I found Jin in that alley it. . . it felt like Min all over again."

"And you pushed him away, too."

"And I pushed him away, too." Namjoon met Thanatos's pitiful eyes. "I've been doing nothing with my life because I held so much fear. If I die. . . I'll die a nobody. I'll leave Min alone and I'll never get to tell Jin how I really feel about him. I'll never get to finish college and build up my music career. I'll never marry off my sister. None of that. No nephews or nieces. No friends. No family." He paused to blink his tears away. "I have to get out of here. I have to fix my life."

Thanatos nodded, his frown twisting into a triumphant smile. "That's what I'm talking about. Now we have to put your will to the test."

"I don't know what that means," Namjoon admitted, balling his fists with new determination, "but bring it on."