I'm going to warn you now, I'm forcing myself to write this through the writers block, so I can't assure you that it's going to be good. I know that if I put off writing anymore I'm going to fall behind and the story's gonna die, and we can't have that now can we?
Okay, read on.

-

"Here's your mail Dylan" says the smiling nurse, handing me a small stack of mail.

"Thanks!"

"Of course... I think I saw a letter from you-know-who." She says, winking. My letters to Drew had become quite a topic of conversation apparently, and all the nurses were dying to know what her response would be.

I carefully open the letter, my hands shaking slightly in anticipation. My heart sinks to the floor when I read the first sentence. 

Dear A.S.M,
I... I'm not really sure what to say. 

Oh no... This can't be good.

I knew you "loved" me but I honestly didn't think anything was like... real... now I know that it is. 

Well of course it's real. What else would it be?? 

I can feel the nurses watching me, but I don't care. 

 I mean, you seem really amazing and I would love to get to know you through these letters... but I've gotta give my feelings some time to figure themselves out. 

So... there's a chance that she cares?

 I'm not sure what my parents would say about me visiting a boy who I don't even know, who not only lives on the other side of the country, but is dying of cancer as well. 

Um... Harsh...

Sorry... that probably seemed harsh. 

You think??

I'm just not sure what to do with you! My life is totally normal and then all of a sudden I receive this letter from a dying boy who says he loves me and only wants me to love him back. 

Of course I want you to love me back!! Why did I ever write that first letter??

I didn't ask for any of this! I didn't ask for these feelings that swirl around inside me, each begging for my attention. 

Oh, what have I done??

I didn't ask for you, A.S.M. 

 I know... no one asked for me. 

I didn't ask for was the feelings that came with it. I suddenly have these feelings for you and I don't even know what they are! It's not love, that's for sure... but it's also not pity. I'm past that. I think... A.S.M, (About that, I would really really REALLY like to know your name... you know mine.) I don't know what to think anymore... I'm going to send this letter but I really need some time to think... I'm not going to stop you from writing me letters, but I'm not sure when I'll be able to write you again...

I'm sorry...

Yours,
Drew

So... There are feelings there... just not like the feelings I have for her...

I crumple the letter in my hand, unsure of what to do. 

"P...please go away." I mumble, my voice barely audible. I hear the soft pitter patter of feet as the nurses walk quietly away. 

"Oh Drew..." 

Did I say that out loud?

Is any of this real?

Am I really just a stupid boy, who thinks he loves a girl, who's dying of cancer?

Do I just need to wake up?

Wake up... 

just wake up

wake up dylan

is my name even dylan

what's real

what's not

why is the room spinning

why can't I see anything?

The last thing I'm aware of is a loud sudden beeping, and the sound of a million nurses rushing into my room and surrounding me. 

then darkness.

Authors note:

WHAT HAVE I DONE!??!?!? I'M SORRY, FORGIVE ME PLEASE AHHHHHHHHHHH

THIS IS A TRAGEDY I'M SO VERY SORRY