I can't watch animal documentaries anymore I keep crying every time an animal dies

Time to suffer

I made myself cry while writing this

So have fun

TRIGGER WARNINGS : DEATH AND ANGST AND SUFFERING MWA HA HA HA HA

Roman POV
"Are you excited Roman?" Patton asked.

"Well of course," I said happily, running a hand through my hair and smiling at myself in the mirror. "I'm rich and famous and I'm about the marry the love of my life."

"Don't brag too much," Patton laughed. "We're not all married yet."

"But Logan's famous," I said. "You two will be married soon enough."

"Logan's famous for being smart beyond belief and discovering a new element," Patton mumbled. "I'm still just a dumb kindergarten teacher."

I turned around, stopping Patton from fixing my veil. I grabbed him by the shoulders and made him look at me.

"Patton, you are not a dumb teacher," I told him sternly. "Logan named the element after you. Pattokaine. Am I saying that right?"

"I think only Logan knows how to say that right," Patton laughed. "But I guess you're right about that," He paused and just smiled in silence for a little bit "Now come one, I'm you're best man, I'm supposed to be making sure that you're the one that's okay today."

"Patton you have worked you ass off helping me plan this wedding," I reminded him. "You don't have to worry about everything."

"Well, let me worry a little more and fix your veil," Patton laughed. "Also, watch your language."

I turned back around and looked at myself in the mirror. My white suit had to be impeccable. I couldn't decide between a suit or a dress so I went with both. It's a white suit but with a long train hanging from my belt made of white silk chiffon and lace.

Evan made me a beautiful flower crown of large white begonias and red roses with a mesh and lace veil that fell to about my shoulders. This entire outfit is about being both feminine and masculine.

"You look amazing kiddo," Patton smiled, peering over my shoulder.

"Think Virgil will faint?" I joked.

"Maybe," Patton shrugged. "He looked pretty nervous last time I checked."

"He's not having...second thoughts or anything," I mumbled.

"Of course not," He told me. "He's nervous and having Quinn around does not help."

"Their best friends," I said. "The two lost anxious people in our group."

"Yeah, they're both terrified to be up their," Patton continued. "I don't know how Quinn's going to handle it when he gets married."

"Probably soon," I said, sitting down. "Quick tea session. Remus was talking to me earlier today about engagement rings and how to pop the question. Apparently Evan's been dropping hints and showing him and Damien rings and wedding dresses ever since Emile and Remy got married. So the two have discussed that they want to marry each other, but asking Quinn and Evan is a whole different thing."

"Oh my goodness that's amazing!" Patton squealed. "I can't wait till Logan and I get married."

"Don't worry, I'll play wing man and bother Logan about it tonight," I promised.

"You don't have to Ro," Patton quickly told me. "Just worry about Virgil and getting married today."

There was a knock at the door and then Quinn poked his head in. He looked nervous so I beckoned him inside.

"It's about to start," Quinn told me softly. "Everyone's waiting."

"Oh my god this is it!" I yelled jumping up and down.

I grabbed Patton and Quinn and ran down the hallway towards the hall. I rented a renovated castle that's a popular spot for weddings.

"Sorry," I told Quinn, realizing I touched him without really asking if he's okay.

"It's fine," Quinn said in a shaky voice.

Patton handed me my bouquet of more white and red flowers, also designed by Evan. Virgil and I decided I could walk down the aisle since I've always dreamed of it and Virgil is too anxious anyways.

Quinn and Patton walked down the aisle, I could see Quinn shaking the entire time. But then the music changed and everyone looked back at me.

But all I could focus on as I walked down the aisle was Virgil's beautiful face. He looked terrified to be standing up there at the alter but he smiled almost instantly upon seeing me.

Virgil looked beautiful. He was wearing an all black suit but with a white veil handing from a flower crown like mine.

I stopped across from him and smiled. Patton took the bouquet from me. Then Virgil and I joined hands. I could hear the priest talking but all I could do was stare into Virgil's beautiful eyes and think about how happy I am.

Screw acting and being famous and rich. Virgil is all I need to be happy. He just makes me so happy and always manages to make me feel better. My life was boring before Virgil. He always talks about how I saved him but he did the same to me. In a different way but still. He changed me. I was this stuck up rich boy, switching between girlfriends every week. But Virgil made me realize how much I didn't really know myself. I've made reconcile with myself, excepted myself, and I wouldn't have made it to where I am in my acting career if Virgil hadn't pushed me. I love him. I don't know what I'd do without him.

"Do you, Roman King, take Virgil Pierce to be your lawfully wedded husband, through happiness, pain, joy, suffering, sadness, and health, to death do you part?" The priest asked me.

"I do," I vowed, looking at Virgil the entire time. I've never been more sure of myself than right now. Virgil slipped the wedding ring onto my finger.

I'm going to love, protect, and take care of Virgil until one of us dies. He's my life now, even more so than he was before. Virgil is mine and I'm his and I'm perfectly happy with this.

"Do you, Virgil Pierce, take Roman King to be your lawfully wedded husband, through happiness, pain, joy, suffering, sadness and health?" The priest asked Virgil.

"I do," Virgil vowed with a smile. Those two words made me so happy. I slid the other wedding ring onto Virgil's finger next to the engagement ring.

"Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and husband," The priest declared.

Virgil and I embraced, holding each other. My hands around his waist and his arms around my shoulders. And then we kissed.

~~~Le mAgiCaL tiMe sKiP~~~

"I love you," I mumbled, pressing a kiss to Virgil's face. "I love you," Another kiss. "I love you," Another kiss.

"Okay," Virgil laughed, his face all scrunched up against my onslaught of kisses. "I love you too."

We were currently in the elevator to our apartment. I've been on a sort of love high ever since Virgil and I kissed, sealing our marriage. The wedding reception ended about an hour ago so Virgil and I got back home pretty quickly.

The elevator door opened and I pushed Virgil out into the hallway. We weren't drunk, but we stumbled down the hallway to our apartment.

Virgil stopped and unlocked our apartment and I pushed him inside the second the door was open. I made sure the door the locked and then ran after Virgil to the bedroom.

It was a unspoken agreement that we'd have sex for the first time tonight. Virgil said he wanted to be married and at our home if it was going to happen.

Virgil was sitting on the edge of the bed, working on getting his suit off. I quickly completed undressed and then helped him finish.

I shoved Virgil down onto the bed and climbed over him. He looked up at me with lust but a bit of nervousness in his eyes. There was also trust in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" I asked him. "We don't have to if you don't want to."

"I do, I'm just nervous," Virgil mumbled. "I'm okay, I just don't know what to do."

I ran my hands gently up and down his sides before sliding between his legs. I leaned over Virgil and pressed soft kisses to his lips.

"Just lay there baby, I'll do all the work," I told him. "I'll be gentle, unless you don't want me too."

"N-No," Virgil stuttered, wide eyed. He's extremity flustered now. "Gentle please."

"Of course baby," I said softly, pressing a kiss to his nose. "I want you to be happy and comfortable."

"I love you," Virgil mumbled, reaching up for a kiss.

"Love you too," I told him when we pulled apart.

And we all know what happens now.

~•~

I awoke slowly, only a few beams of sing light flickering around the curtains and into the bedroom. I looked down to see Virgil curled up in my arms.

Moments like this are my favorite. Just laying peacefully in bed while Virgil's still asleep. All is calm and right in the world.

Virgil stirred a bit, awoken by my movement. He tried to roll over but found he really couldn't move anything past his hips.

"I can't feel my legs," Virgil mumbled, then yawned.

"Good morning to you too," I laughed, pressing a kiss to his lips. "My beautiful husband."

"You're the beautiful one," Virgil told me. I helped him roll over and Virgil cuddled into my chest.

I let out a sigh and loved my and to run my hand through Virgil's hair. I smiled a bit as I remember last nights events. Everything from getting married to the love of my life to fucking the shit out of the love of my life.

"You're amazing," I mumbled.

"What makes you think that?" Virgil grumbled. He raised his head a bit to bury it in my neck.

"How well you took my dick last night," I purred, sliding my hand down to his bare thigh.

Virgil's eyes flew open and his face turned bright red in embarrassment. But then he relaxed back against my chest.

"You're annoying," He whispered.

"Oh you love me," I teased, sitting up and pulling Virgil with me.

"My ass is numb," Virgil said, trying to pull himself from my grip.

"Better get used to it," I teased, nibbling at his neck and grabbed his ass. Virgil gasped a bit but melted into my touch instantly.

"I love you," I mumbled, pushing him back down on the bed and going between his legs.

"Love you too," Virgil mumbled, pulling me in for a kiss.

~~~magical time skip~~~

Virgil POV
I sighed, typing away at my computer. I picked up my coffee mug, my glance going to the rings on my finger. I couldn't help but smile.

Sixteen years into marriage with Roman and I couldn't be more happy. We moved and bought a nice house in a secluded part of the forest. It's more of a mansion but I consider it home.

Roman's on tour right now, so I've had the house to myself for almost three months now. I've been lonely and spiraling to say the least. We video chat every day but that's not enough for me. More days than not, we fall asleep on video chat with each other. Patton and Quinn visit a lot but I need Roman.

I work from home, writing on my own time. I only leave the house for groceries or if a friend drags me into a hangout.

But Roman's getting home today and I couldn't be happier. I've missed him so much. I tried to go on tour with him the first time but I couldn't do it. My anxiety couldn't handle it and I got homesick.

It makes me feel like a shitty husband for not going on tour with Roman. Like I should be there for him but I'm not.

But then, right on schedule, the front door open. I practically jumped up out of my chair and ran to the front door.

Roman was standing there, shrugged off all his bags. I threw myself into his arms and held him tightly. Roman laughed and then picked me up. He spun me around, pressing kiss all over my face.

"There's my beautiful husband," Roman said between passionate kisses. "God I missed you Virgil."

"Missed you too Roman," I told him.

Then we stopped talking and just held each other and kissed. Then Roman pulled away and just smiled at me.

"You taste like coffee," He laughed, placing his nose against mine.

"Haven't had anything besides coffee today," I admitted.

"Virgil," Roman frowned. "It's almost dinner time."

I shrugged, looking at Roman's chest now. He pressed a kiss to my head and then picked me up. He dropped me at the kitchen table.

"I'm home for good now so you're going to be eating regularly now," Roman told me, heading into our kitchen.

"Whatever," I sighed before what Roman said actually clicked in my mind. "What do you mean for good?"

"Uh, Virgil, I'm retiring from acting," Roman said with an awkward laugh.

"Roman you literally just turned forty this year," I told him.

"And we're millionaires," Roman reminded me, coming over to me quickly. "You still have writing and I'm not going to be jobless. I'm just retiring from acting. I'm going to teach acting now at the school Patton works at."

"You did all this without talking to me about it?" I asked, rising an eyebrow.

"I didn't want to worry you," Roman admitted.

"Did you get fired?" I deadpanned.

Roman stared at me for a few seconds before both of us bursted out laughing. Roman grabbed me and sat me in his lap.

"You think that lowly of me?" He laughed.

"I don't know," I joked.

"No," Roman sighed. "I don't like being away from you and I'm not going to force you to come with me when you obviously aren't comfortable with touring. I'm being a bad husband by leaving you home alone for months on end."

"I thought I was being a bad husband by not coming with you," I admitted. "And you don't have to put your career on hold just for me."

"It's not really my choice," Roman said. "They're recasting the musical. I had multiple other musical directors approach me. I could've been in Hamilton or Dead Evan Hansen. I still could I guess but acting is getting more difficult and I'd honestly just rather be home with you."

"Roman please," I begged. "Don't miss all these amazing chances because of me."

"Virgil, this is my choice,"  Roman told me.  "I want to be here with you.  I'm not going to keep missing holidays and birthdays and just being with you in general because of my job.  It's stressful."

"Fine,"  I sighed.  "I'm done arguing."

"Good,"  Roman smiled, pressing a kiss to my forehead.  "Now, let me pamper you for the rest of the night."

~~~~~~~~~AGGRESSIVE MAGICAL TIME SKIP~~~~~~

Roman POV
I hummed softly to myself, cutting up chicken for dinner.  I'm fifty but I'm not going to stop cooking dinner for Virgil. 

His favorite is chicken parmesan. At least, I think it is.  Maybe it's spaghetti.  Wait no, that's mine.  My memory has become very shitty now, but I'm sure it's nothing. 

Virgil's currently at a conference for one of his books.  Now that we're older, he doesn't need me to go with him because of his anxiety. 

It's mid winter and there was a bad snowstorm last night.  Things haven't been great lately.  I've tried to help Remus but ever since Evan died, he doesn't want to talk with me anymore.  None of them do.  They've all been hiding away in their mansion. 

I know Virgil misses hanging out with Quinn.  So I decided to have a nice dinner cooked for him when he gets home.  Than movies and cuddles afterwords. 

My phone rang.  I washed my hands of raw chicken and then looked at my phone.  It was Virgil.  I smiled and answered quickly, holding my phone between my shoulder and ear. 

"Hey baby,"  I answered.  "Is the meeting done?  I'm making dinner tonight so I want you to be ready for lots of cuddles."

"Are you Roman King?"  A lady answered.  My heart literally jumped. 

"Who are you?"  I asked, grabbing my phone with my hand.  "How do you have my husbands phone?"

My thoughts went down the path of a crazed fan.  I don't know how she got Virgil's phone.  But this wouldn't be the first time a crazy fan tried to call me. 

"My names Ivy Evans.  I'm a paramedic at the Generals Hospital,"  She explained, making my heart pound.   "Your husband...Virgil King, he was in a car accident.  I'm on site right now and I was told to call you.  We're going to try and air lift him to Mount Carmel Hospital.  But he suffered extreme injuries and he's not expected to pull through."

The lady continued to talk but I couldn't hear anything.  Everything was replaced by a loud ringing sound and the pounding of my own heart. 

I ended the call and pocket my phone.  I ran to the garage, stumbling to pull on my shoes.  I didn't even bother putting a coat on despite the below zero temperatures. 

I started my Ferrari and drove quickly to the hospital.  Unfortunately it's almost an hour away from our house.  My heart was pounding and I had started sobbing. 

Virgil can't be hurt.  Virgil can't die.  I can't loose him.  I need him. 

An hour later, I pulled into the hospital parking lot.  I haven't had to be here since high school.  So much time has passed. 

I ran inside and to the front desk.  There was a female paramedic covered in blood standing next to the front desk.  I stopped there, ready to talk to the receptionist.

"You're Roman King?"  The paramedic said instead.  "I recognize you."

"Where's Virgil?"  I asked instead of responding nicely or even caring at all about being famous.  I need Virgil.

"I'm so sorry Mr. King,"  The paramedic said gently.  "Your husband didn't make it.  He died on the flight here.  He just told me to tell you that he loves you."

I couldn't process it.  Virgil can't be dead.  I don't want to believe it.

"That can't be true,"  I mumbled.

"I'm sorry,"  The paramedic said again.  "You can see the body.  We technically need you to identify the body."

I nodded 'yes' and followed the receptionist.  I followed her down a hall with a slanted floor.  I had to stop at the door with the sign morgue next to it. 

But I forced myself to walk through the doors.  I broke down into sobs instantly.  Virgil's dead body lying on the metal table.

"Mr. King was in a car crash.  His car spun out on some black ice and he hit a tree.  The car flipped multiple times before actually hitting the tree.  He ended up breaking his spine and multiple ribs.  The ribs punctured his lungs which caused them to collapse.  The major cause of death is being ruled as asphyxiation."  The receptionist said, stepping out of the room. 

I walked over to the table.  Virgil was laying there, deathly still.  His eyes were closed and his skin had taken on a blueish tint.  He wasn't breathing. 

"Virgil?"  I whispered.  I held my hand above his face and then gently touched his cheek.  His skin was cold and clammy to the touch. 

"I'll be outside,"  The receptionist said, leaving the room.

I just stared in shock at Virgil.  This can't be happening.  This can't be happening.  This can't be happening.  This can't be happening.  This can't be happening. 

~•~

"This can't be happening!"  I jolted you screaming from my bed. 

I looked around the room I was in.  I don't even know what type of room this is.  I was in a bed and some soft pajamas.  Then the door opened. 

"Good morning Roman,"  A lady wearing hospital scrubs said.  "Did you have another nightmare."

"Who's Roman?"  I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.  "Where's Virgil?" 

"You're Roman,"  The lady told me.  "I'm Nurse Charlotte.  Virgil is your late husband who's been dead for twenty two years."

"I don't remember that," I mumbled.

"Do you remember acting?" She asked, motioning to poster of a person of a man with brown hair and brown eyes. He looked happy in the poster.

"I remember Virgil," I said, laying back down. "I think..."

I don't know who I am. I don't know who Virgil is. Except I remember a man with brown hair and brown eyes, who liked the color purple and wore a lot of black. And I know I love him...but I'm not sure why. And then a gravestone that says that name. That's just what pops up in my mind every time I heard or through that name.

"Did you take your medication?" The lady asked. I can't remember her name.

"What medication?" I asked.

"The medicine for your Alzheimer's," She told me.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Why don't you watch some tv," The lady said.

"I'm going back to bed," I mumbled, turning on my side.

My heart hurts. Pretty bad, like something heavy is sitting on my chest. I closed my eyes but the pain in my chest didn't go away.

I think I fell asleep, I don't remember. But then the pain slipped away and then...everything else slipped away.