I am still in shock from the the SvS redux

New videos always put me on edge because they can either make or break major plot points in books

But luckily there weren't that many like "giant plot breaking moments" besides Janus, which is an easy fix, you guys will see later

ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY CHAPTERS OF THIS SHIIIITTTTTTTT

This is the 150th chapter of But Now We're Stressed Out

IMPORTANT QUESTION :
After this book ends, would you guys rather which book to be published

Remile sugar daddy book

Sanders Sides Hunger Games AU

TRIGGER WARNINGS : DEATH AND ANGST AND SADNESS, SUFFERING

Patton POV
I stared sadly at the casket in front of me. There were tears in my eyes but I didn't want to be too emotional. This wasn't supposed to happen so early.

I tried to comfort Emile, gently rubbing his back and letting him sob into my shoulder. I can't explain the shock and sadness I felt when Emile called me to tell me Remy had died. And by being shot no less.

Logan stood at my shoulder, unsure of how to comfort someone in grief. None of us in the friend group were expecting this. We were all trying to comfort Emile but none of us really knew what to say in this situation.

Earlier a man with missing limbs and metallic prosthetics was talking to Emile. He seemed to blame himself for Remy's death but I'm not sure why. He didn't stick around long.

I can tell Emile misses Remy but didn't know how to put those feelings into words.  Colton and Pandora were trying to help but they were struggling with their own grief over their father dying. 

"Will you be okay?"  I asked Emile gently. 

"I'll be fine,"  He whispered.

~~~magical time skip~~~

Logan and I watched with tears in our eyes as Pandora walked down the aisle in a beautiful lacey and satin wedding dress.  They had a long veil that went all the way down to the floor. 

Atlas, my amazing son, was standing up at the alter in a tuxedo.  I slid my hand into Logan's, and ran my fingers over our wedding rings.  This day is almost as amazing as my own wedding day.

"Do you, Pandora Picani, take Atlas Hawkins to be your lawfully wedded husband, through happiness, pain, joy, suffering, sadness, and health, to death do you part?"  The priest asked Pandora.

"I do,"  Pandora said with a smile.  Atlas slid the silver wedding ring onto their finger.

"Do you, Atlas Hawkins, take Pandora Picani to be your lawfully wedded partner, through happiness, pain, joy, suffering, sadness, and health, to death do you part?"  The priest asked Atlas.

"I do,"  Atlas said in his Logan voice as I call it.  Where he tries to sound emotionless but utterly fails because he's so happy.  Pandora slid the other wedding ring onto his finger.

"Then I now pronounce you husband and partner!"  The priest declared.

Atlas pulled Pandora in for a passionate kiss. I started clapping happily, standing up with everyone else. I smiled happily, wiping tears from my eyes. Weddings always make me cry.

Everyone headed to the other room where the reception was being held. Logan and I joined up with Emile to go find our children.

Technically, Emile and I are in-laws and I couldn't be happier about it. Emile seemed excited about it to but I can tell he's even more depressed than me nowadays.

He hasn't been great since Remy died, even though it's been almost four years since it happened now. There's bags under his eyes and I know he hasn't been sleeping. He's confided in me that almost ever time he falls asleep, he has nightmares about Remy dying.

He's also become skinnier and shakier. It took lots of coaxing from Pandora, Colton and I for him to start therapy. I can tell he struggles through it because he doesn't want to accept that he, a therapist, also needs therapy. And he hates being home alone at his house and refuses to go into the bar in the basement. Saying it's not right without Remy there.

I gave Emile and smile and a hug, trying to make him feel better. But he already seemed to be in a better mood today, but that's probably because of the wedding

"Congrats kiddo!" I yelled, launching myself at Atlas once we found the newlyweds.

"Thanks dad,"  Atlas grunted, trying to get me to stop hugging him.

"I'm so proud of you two,"  Emile said happily, giving Pandora a tight hug.

Colton appeared with his partner Ellery who was currently having a male day but wearing a dress nonetheless.  He picked Pandora up and spun them around.

"Congrats!"  He yelled before finally setting his sibling down. 

"I as well with you two many congratulations and many happy years to come,"  Logan told them.

"Thanks mom,"  Atlas said purposely with a smirk.

"I already informed you that if you wish to refer to me a parental figure, 'mom' will not be adequate,"  Logan sighed.

"You're so mean,"  Atlas whined.

"C'mon, let's celebrate this amazing event,"  I said, throwing my arms around Atlas and Pandora. 

We all walked towards the table with the food, chatting and talking about the future.  Emile followed at a distance with a forced smile I was all to familiar with. 

I know Emile is happy and proud of Pandora but I can tell he was wishing that Remy was here.  But he was obviously too afraid to say anything.  I'm sure he'll be okay.

~~~MAGICAL time SKIP~~~

"Emile I'm here!"  I called into the empty house.  It's been a while since Pandora, Colton or I have checked on him.  I locked the door behind me and headed to the kitchen.

Lately Emile's just been hiding in his house without talking to anyone for days and it's been almost a week now.  To say I'm worried about him is an understatement.

I can literal see his physical and mental health decreasing every year that passes that Remy is dead.  I'm surprised he's this affected by Remy's death considering that he has Colton and Pandora still. 

But I can also see how traumatic it might be.  Emile had to watch his husband be shot and then have him die in his arms.  Especially at such a young age. 

"Emile!"  I called again, still receiving no response.  I set the bags of food on the counter and put the cold items in the fridge.

Still no response.  I sighed and headed up the stairs, expecting to find him either asleep or ignoring me in his room.  Usually he'll be hugging something of Remy's.  Lately he's been going on about a stitch stuffed animal that Remy gave him but it's gone missing.

Colton got married to his partner, Ellery, last year. I myself didn't go but I know Emile wasn't acting his usual happy self at the wedding. This only furthered worries me.

I pushed open the door to the bedroom and screamed.  I stumbled backwards, falling onto my butt and almost instantly starting to cry. 

Emile was dead.  He had to be.  His body...it looked...  I stood back up and entered the room.  Only them did I notice the stench in the room.

I put my hand over my mouth, trying to hold back a sob.  Emile's body was pale and clammy, see through to the veins in some places.  His lips were blue and his skin was sunken in around his face and neck.  He was wearing his wedding dress.

I looked around for my phone, so that I could call the police.  Then I noticed the empty sleeping pill bottle and the little note on the bedside table.  It was dated for six days ago.

I collapsed with a sob, desperately trying to call 911. Emile told me he would be okay and I believed him instead of actually making sure he was okay. I'm a horrible friend.

~~~magical time skip~~~

"It's time Patton," Logan mumbled.

I shook my head 'no' fiercely again, clutching Marigold to my chest. I haven't stopped crying since we arrived at the vet.

Marigold ended up get a tumor in her jaw. While being a benign tumor, it prevented her from eating and made it difficult for her to breath. She's been alive for thirteen years.

"You're just prolonging her pain," Logan said gently.

The vet gave me a sympathetic look, at least being sympathetic about it. I didn't want to put Marigold down. But she's in so much pain.

"I don't want her to die," I cried, sobbing into her fur.

Marigold turned around, trying to lick my face. Still trying to comfort me even though she's the one in pain.

"But you also don't want her to be in pain," He tried to reason with me.

"It's just a quick shot," The vet told me. "She won't even feel it."

I just cried harder at that but slowly let go of Marigold. I stayed on the floor with her. The vet knelt down and gave Marigold the shot.

She turned to me with a confused head tilt, obviously confused to what was going on. I let out a chocked sob when she nuzzled against me.

I held Marigold tightly in my arms. She laid down slowly, leaning against me. Soon, her breathing become slower and then completely stopped. Marigold closed her eyes and that was it.

~magical time skip~~

Logan POV
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. It's been almost ten years since Atlas got married to Pandora and moved out, yet the house still feels empty without him. Work has only become more difficult since discovering pattokaine but it's manageable.

But with Patton still mourning Remy and Emile's deaths and having an "empty nest", as he puts it, means that I have to watch him. It's been many years since Patton has self harmed, but I still worry for his mental stability.

The clock read 5:34 pm. I stood up, understanding it was well past time to start dinner. I walked down the empty hallway, passing Atlas's old room.

With a house as big as ours, I can understand why Patton gets lonely. Hopefully one of our friends or I don't die any time soon. I don't believe that Patton would be able to handle any more grief.

Patton enjoys spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner, therefore I shall make him some. Well, I will try my best. But all I need to do is follow the recipe and everything will be fine.

I walked into the kitchen, already extremely out of my element. I sighed and grabbed the cook book from the shelf. I sat it on the island and started gathering materials.

When I passed by the window overlooking the sink, I looked outside for Patton. He was sitting on a wooden bench, looking out over the mountains and forests. Even though he was facing away from me, something told me he was upset.

I pulled my coat on, not enjoying the late fall chill in the air. The cold sometimes feels nice, but it can be overkill where we live.  I shivered the second I stepped outside. 

A short walk later, I was standing next to Patton in his peripheral vision.  He slowly turned his head to me.  There was a sad look in his eyes that made me want to hug him and kiss every worry away. 

So I did just that.  I sat down and pulled Patton into a hug, holding him tightly and peppering kisses across his head.  Patton wasn't crying, just staring ahead of himself silently. 

"Are you okay?"  I asked him softly.

"I don't know,"  Patton mumbled.  "Atlas and I got in a fight."

"About what?"  I questioned, unaware the two had an argument.

"It was last night over the phone,"  He sighed.  "Atlas was talking about how much he wanted this new video game but I told him he could spend the money in a better way.  Maybe instead of getting a video game, he could give money to someone in need.  We argued about it and eventually Atlas just hanged up the phone."

"I'm sure you two will make up quickly,"  I assured him. 

"But I know Atlas doesn't like me as much as he does you,"  Patton exclaimed with so much pain in his eyes.  "Did I do something wrong?  I always thought I would be the perfect dad but Atlas never seemed to enjoy being around me."

"You have done absolutely nothing wrong,"  I told him.  "Atlas obviously had problems opening up to people and he just liked that I didn't do that."

"I just wanted to make sure he was okay,"  Patton mumbled. 

"You just took it too far,"  I explained.  "If you give Atlas a few days, I'm sure he'll be talking to you again."

"Do you think so?"  He asked.

"I know so,"  I answered, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. 

We sat in silence for a few seconds, looking out over the mountains together.  Patton huddled closer to me when a cold breeze blew through. 

"I'm still sad about Remy and Emile,"  Patton admitted softly. 

"Patton, it's been almost twenty years,"  I reminded him. 

"But how long until that happens to another one of our friends?"  He asked.  "Or you or me?"

"I'm afraid I don't know the answer to that,"  I sighed.  "But it's okay Patton.  I'm sure nothing like that will happen for many more years.  The majority of our friend group is just now reaching only fifty years of age."

"I'm still scared," He mumbled.

"It'll be okay," I promised, giving Patton another kiss.

~~~~magical time skip~~~~

"Your mom died," Patton told me, going through the mail. It was early morning and we were enjoying a nice pancake breakfast.

"However did that happen?" I asked sarcastically. "Keeled over in the middle of her work?"

I haven't seen either of my parents since I moved away for college and that was over forty years ago. They never came to my wedding nor did they ever meet Atlas. I've become bitter towards them. I don't mind them not showing up, considering what they did to me, but I thought they'd be concerned about my life to some extent.

"No, died in her sleep," Patton answered. "She was ninety four."

"Well, at least they're all gone now," I shrugged, honestly not conceded by this news.

"Who all?" He asked, tilting his head.

"All of our parents," I answered. "Your parents and mine. It's a freeing feeling for me."

"It's more relief for me," Patton admitted softly.

Despite both of being over seventy now, Patton never let go of the deep seated fear towards both of our parents that he had. He cried when his parents died, but he admitted it was for the younger versions of his parents that didn't gamble and do drugs.

"It's still sad," He mumbled.

"Almost any death is sad to you," I told him.

Patton shrugged, setting the letter down on the counter. Death has become a sore subject with Patton. Loosing Remy and Emile early on had a deep toll on him. It did not help that Marigold died a year or so after Emile. Then when Evan, Virgil and Quinn died all within a two month span, it didn't help either.

I walked over and pulled Patton into a tight hug. I gently rubbed his back while Patton just held tightly to me. He was shaking slightly.

"Please don't die," Patton mumbled. "I don't want to loose you."

"You're not going to loose me," I promised, holding him tightly and pressing kisses all over his head.

~~~MaGiCaL time sKiP~~~

I woke up to the annoying sound of my alarm. I laid in bed with my eyes closed for a few seconds, but then I forced myself to get up.

I pressed a gentle kiss to Patton's forehead and tried to moved away from him without waking him up. Patton retired a month ago and has been reaping the benefits of sleeping in.

But I, on the other hand, still have work. There's no rest for the smart. I stood up and become heavily away of how half of my face seemed to droop with a tingly feeling to it.

Grabbing my work clothes, I disappeared into the bathroom, thinking nothing of it. It took only a half hour and then I was washed and dressed.

I left the bedroom, still being cautious of Patton's sleeping form on the bed. I headed to the kitchen and stared a pot of coffee. I yawned, looking out the window into the still dark world.

Once the coffee was done, I started making myself an omelette. I made two and sat the other in the fridge. Then I wrote Patton a short note while eating.

Dear Patton,
Good morning, I made you an omelette just how you like them. It's in the fridge. I'm looking forward to seeing you when I get home. I love you.
Love, Logan.

I sat the note on the island with his antidepressants on top so that Patton wouldn't forget to take them. When I turned to walk, the same tingly and droopy feeling was in my leg.

Shaking it off, I headed to work. But all along the day, the strange tingly spells kept happening. They continued to worsen, now including dizzy spells.

I finally realized I was showing symptoms of a stroke after a few hours. But I need to finish this project and then I will drive myself to a hospital.

Currently, I'm one missing puzzle piece from discovering yet another element. This one I'll name after myself. But the dizzy spells and muscle numbness wasn't helping.

"You don't look so good," Steve commented, standing across the lab table from me.

"I can assure I am fine," I told him.

We still work together, sadly. I think the only reason Steve still works with me is in the hopes of discovering an element of his own. It bothered me a lot when Steve's husband would come to work with him.

"I don't know, you look pale," He said. "And you keep, like, almost falling over. You said you were having weird muscle numbness. I think you're gonna have a stroke."

"I will go to a hospital as soon as I figure this out," I mumbled defensively. Just a few more equations. I'm missing one little thing.

"Just don't die on me or anything," He laughed, trying to joke around.

"Get me some polonium," I told him, trying to change the subject and ignore the feeling in my head. It was a headache that felt as if there were pressure on my head

"Seriously?" Steve whined. "That's the most radioactive element. It's gonna take me forever to get all the fucking gear on."

"To bad, I don't care," I snapped. My hair became disheveled as I ran my hand though it again.

"Chill," Steve said, holding up his hands. "I'll go get you some."

Steve disappeared and I couldn't be happier about the silence that it brought. The pain became unbearable. I grimaced and keeled over a it.

Then my legs gave out from underneath me. I slammed into the ground and then I lost my ability to breath. My chest seemed to be constricting in a painful way.

"What was that?" Steve yelled before heading back over.

Everything hurt. The numb tingly feeling was everywhere. I couldn't breath. My entire chest felt as if it were on fire and I couldn't begin to explain the feeling of pressure on my head.

I could faintly hear Steve yelling at me while also talking to someone on the phone, presumably 911. I gasped for breath, unable to stop the horrible feeling.

That's when the edges of my vision went fuzzy. Everything seemed to relax but then I couldn't feel any of my limbs even though I could see them. It was paralyzing me.

"Patton," I choked out, unable to barely think straight during this feeling of total fear and pain. I just wanted Patton.

With one last desperate gasp for breath, everything slipped away.

~~~magical time skip~~~

Patton POV
I haven't stopped crying for six days now, I think. The horrible feeling of pain and sadness hasn't left me yet. It wasn't this bad with my friends.

Logan's side of our bed has become my best friend now that he's dead. I haven't moved since I returned home from the hospital.

A stroke. I thought Logan would be the person to recognize the symptoms and go to a hospital. But apparently his work was more important.

I haven't moved in days. I haven't eaten yet I don't feel hungry. My heart hurts so much. It's not a heart attack, I know that. But it just felt as if my heart was literally breaking.

The pain was overwhelming but it didn't amount to the mental anguish of knowing that Logan was dead and that I'm all alone now.

I just can't make myself move. Or do anything but cry and think. My heart hurts so much. But the pain is unexplainable.

I miss Logan so much. All my friends are dying, Damien and Remus are the only two left. But I'm not super close with either. Marigold is gone. Logan is gone. Everyone is gone.

My heart hurts. Maybe if I close my eyes a bit, the pain will go away. And I'll be happy and safe. And Logan will be alive and safe again.

Maybe if I just close my eyes for a bit...