SpiceyDepression

TRIGGER WARNINGS : PTSD stuff, blood, self harm

Logan POV
Slowly I came to. I had to blink my eyes a few times until my vision started to become clearer. But my eyes wouldn't focus on what was above me.

Eventually I could see the ceiling of the reformatory. I could feel the thin cot beneath me. I blinked a few times but my vision was still incredibly dizzy.

I thought I was back home with Patton. My other friends...they came and rescued me. Why am I back here?

Bracing my hands against the cot, I forced myself into a sitting position. My vision went spinning a for a good few seconds. I could only see black.

The entire room was spinning. The edges of my vision were blurry. What kind of drug did they put in my system.

It was just a dream. A hopeless dream. Obviously just a very life like dream induced by the heavy sleeping medication they gave me.

Screams started sounded from the other side of the door. I jumped in shock, a painful joke of panic going through my heart.

The screams started getting louder. To the point where I couldn't focus on anything else. It was somehow an ear splitting sound.

I pressed my hands over my ears. For an even more absurd reason, tears filled my eyes. I started crying despite nothing happening to provoke this response.

The screams somehow got louder. I forced my eyes to open back up but I still couldn't focus on anything. My vision was still too blurry.

I'm stuck here. I'm stuck here.

~•~

"Logan wake up," Patton voice cut through my nightmare. "Please."

My eyes opened. Besides my vision being blurry due to not having my glasses on, I could actually see. Patton was leaning over me, shaking me by the shoulders.

"You're just having another nightmare," He whispered, gently running a hand through my hair.

I didn't know what to say. It's been three days since I've returned home. Well, home as in Patton's house. Every night I've been having horrible nightmares about the reformatory.

"I hate this," I mumbled. I wrapped my arms around Patton and pulled him down so I could hold him.

"It'll be okay," Patton whispered, pressing kisses on my forehead. I buried my face in his neck, breathing in his scent.

Patton continued running his hand through my hand. I tried to think about anything other than that horrid place.

There's no way I could ever be back in that place. I'm here with Patton. I'm safe here. I'll never see that place again.

I haven't been able to go to school because Patton thinks I need time to calm down. That means I have nothing to distract myself with.

"I love you Patton," I told him. I couldn't count how many times I've told Patton that since I got back.

"Love you too Logan," Patton responded. "Love you so much."

I felt like crying again for no reason whatsoever. My emotions have completely taken over my mind in the worst way possible. But Patton doesn't seem to mind.

"It's okay Logan," He told me. "You'll be okay."

~•~

Damien POV
The bed was warm and snuggled under the blankets felt nice. The room was nice and dark, only a little light coming in from the window.

However, something felt off. I rolled over in my bed, expecting to see my three boyfriends. Evan and Remus were sleeping at the other end of the bed.

But the space between Evan and I was empty. Quinn wasn't in bed. I turned over again to check the time, only to see it was 3:43 in the morning.

Sorry filled me and completely woke me up. I sat up in the bed and touched the spot where Quinn should be. The space was cold.

The four of us were spending the weekend at my house. My house is pretty big so I'm not sure where Quinn could've gone. Or if he's even still here.

I was tempted to call Virgil since those two technically live together. Then I remember it was almost four in the morning. But then I remember it's a Friday night and it's Virgil.

Quinn wasn't anywhere in the room and if his space had time to get cold, than he's not in the bathroom either.

Slowly, I forced myself out of the warm bed and swung my feet over the edge of the bed. I stood up and yawned.

A hand grabbed mine to stop me when I started to walk away. I turned around to see Remus looking at me with one eye open.

"Where you going?" He asked. "And where's Quinn?"

"I don't know, that's why I'm getting up," I told him.

"I'll come too," He said, quickly getting out of the bed.

We both looked at Evan who was still asleep. He always looked very peaceful and serene when he's asleep. A sleeping beauty.

"How did I get so lucky?" Remus said randomly. "I went from someone like Issac and a relationship like that, to this." He motioned to Evan and I and then the room around him.

"We love you," I told him. Remus smiled a bit at that.

He walked over to my side of the bed and we hugged. I kissed him a couple times and for a while we just held each other.

Which was kinda weird considering that both of us only sleep in our boxers. In Remus standers it wasn't that weird though.

Another thing I found weird was that Remus was taller than me. I was so used to only being with people shorter than me.

"We gotta find Quinn," Remus said when we finally pulled apart.

"Agreed," I mumbled, leading the way since it was my house.

I looked into the guest bedrooms, but he wasn't in any of them. I headed downstairs, shivering at the cold. I've never been a fan of the cold.

Quinn wasn't in the living room either. I doubt he'd go to the basement so I headed to the kitchen. It was empty but there was blood in the sink.

A bit of fear filled me when I saw the dark splotches. I turned the lights on, only for it to be confirmed. I just stared at the blood in confusion.

I looked to Remus but there was a look in his eyes. I sighed and looked down to see that he had a slight boner. Remus laughed when I noticed.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked, almost yelling.

"What?!" Remus yelled. "I can't help it! Blood turns me on!"

"What the actual fuck is wrong with you?" I asked, giving him a cornering look. But I was trying not to laugh.

"Don't kink shame me!" He yelled.

"I'm gonna kink shame if your kink is blood!" I yelled back.

"Shut up!" Remus laughed. "You're gonna wake up Evan!"

"Too late," Grumbled a soft voice.

A very tired Evan stumbled into the room, yawning softly. His pink sweatshirt hanging off his small frame in an adorable way that gave him sweater paws.

"What are you two doing?" He asked.

"Making out," Remus laughed, pulling me in for a kiss.

I responded by shoving Remus into the island by the hips and started aggressively making out with him. I've learned that Remus is a switch, so he'll quickly submit to me but not Evan and Quinn.

"Either tell me the truth or include me," Evan sighed.

Remus grabbed him and shoved him between us. I would've enjoyed this but we're still missing one boyfriend.

"Where's Quinn?" Evan asked.

"That's what we were trying to figure out," I told him. "There's blood in the sink and his spot in the bed was cold."

Evan reacted quickly to that. He pulled out of the hug and had a very worried expression on his face. As if he knew something.

"He probably had a nightmare," Evan said.

"Meaning...?" Remus asked.

"Quinn gets really bad nightmares sometimes that badly trigger him," Evan mumbled. "He usually doesn't hide like this unless it was really bad."

"How often does he have these?" I asked. "Why didn't we know?"

"Often enough, but it's just the bad ones where he hides that need to be worried about," Evan said. "He's been dealing with these since the incident happened and he never likes talking about it."

"Where does he usually go?" Remus asked.

"I don't know," Evan shrugged. "It changes every time."

"Where does he usually go?" I questioned.

"Again, I don't know," Evan repeated. "It's either going to be a really confined space or a big open space."

"Let's split up and try to find him," I suggested. "What do we do if we find him?"

"Say something before you approach him, absolutely don't touch him," Evan said before thinking a bit. "Don't ask what the nightmare was about because than he'll think about it more and it'll cause him to spiral further into the episode."

"He likes being outside," Remus mumbled.

"It's like 12 degrees outside," I said. Fahrenheit. "And it's almost four in the morning."

"Has that stopped him before?" Remus asked in a 'duh' voice.

"Good point, lets check," Evan said, already heading towards the back door.

I followed him to the door, slightly unsurprised to see the door slid open a bit. I looked out through the window to see Quinn rocking back and forth on a bench on the deck.

I was about to head out there but Evan stopped me before I could open the door further. I could see blood dripping down his arms.

Quinn had a hand buried in his hair and pulling on it to the point of almost yanking it out. His other hand was scratching as his arms.

He was shaking badly. I was afraid if he kept shaking like that, he would break into a million pieces. He was sobbing badly and talking to himself.

"Stop thinking about it," He mumbled. "Stop. Stupid, stupid. Stop thinking."

I felt my heart breaking for him. I hate seeing Quinn suffering so much like this.

"Can I like go back in time and kick the shit out of his dad so Quinn didn't have to deal with this?" Remus asked.

"Unfortunately not," I sighed, silently agreeing with that statement.

"Shut up!" Quinn yelled, smacking himself on the side of his head. I recoiled. Quinn doesn't get that violent. "You're dead! You can't hurt me!"

I had enough. I opened the door and stepped out into the patio. I was instantly freezing and that made me worried for Quinn who was only in a black shirt and boxers.

"Quinn," I said softly.

He screamed and flinched in a very violent way. He slowly and shakily turned towards me. His face was blotchy from crying and his eyes were wide with fear

But he visibly relaxed upon seeing the three of us. Quinn shakily readied his bloodied hands to us, a pleading look in his eyes.

I quickly went to him and scooped him into my arms. I carried him back into the house where Remus and Evan were waiting.

Quinn was sat on the island while Evan disappeared to get bandages. Remus pulled his arms under the sink and started wiping the blood off with eased practice.

"Hey, look at me," I said softly, gently putting my hands on his cheeks. Quinn looked at me. "You're okay and you're safe. I'm right here. Remus is right here. We won't let anyone hurt you, okay?"

Quinn nodded his head 'yes' slightly. Evan came back and handed me the bandages. He then hopped up onto the island and pulled Quinn into a tight comforting hug.

I gently stared wrapping his arms. He hurt himself bad this time and that worried me. He was also shivering badly from the cold. His skin was freezing to the touch.

When I finished, I pulled him back into my arms. I carried his small form up the stairs and back to the bedroom.

I laid him down on the bed and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Remus and Evan then did the same. We all got back into bed.

Quinn was silent but he obviously wanted to say something. But that was something to deal with tomorrow.