Siiiiiiggggghhhhhh

I always think starting a new story will go good but then I miss one update and everything goes down hill from there

Three hundred reads a chapter go to barely one hundred and over a hundred comments go to fifty st the most

I want to go back to the glory days with Don't Let Me Be Gone

I was reading it today and I miss writing it and writing certain characters

I hate being a person that constantly needs validation on my books to keep my self esteem up

Sorry for ranting

And fair warning for this chapter, I literally know nothing about drugs and I was too afraid to google it so I hope I got this right

TRIGGER WARNINGS : drug use, alcohol, fighting, PTSD stuff, angry snek, angry Evan, angry trash rat

Damien POV
"I want a pet mouse,"  Evan declared. 

"A mouse?"  I asked with a laugh. 

"Are there even domestic mice?"  Quinn asked softly, not really in a talking mood today. 

"I don't know but I want one,"  Evan laughed.  "I'd name it...Rose."

We all laughed a little bit at that.  Evan, Quinn and I decided to walk down the bike path in the forested part of the park.  It's fairly warm today and sunny.  Evan wanted to see all the newly bloom sing flowers and trees.  We were nearing the end however, the parking lot in view again.

Remus refused to get up and come with us so we left him back at my house. So far today's been pretty good. Remus was also kicked out of his house for the day so Roman could have a Disney marathon with Evan, Emile and Patton, even though that's not till later today.

"I'm tired," Quinn complained. "We've been walking forever."

"It has not been that long," Evan told him.

"Carry me," Quinn whined, leaning heavily against me.

I sighed and picked Quinn up so I was giving him a piggy back ride. He's socially exhausted, I can tell. And probably physically exhausted since he's lazy.

"I wanna be carried too than," Evan pouted.

"I'll have to carry you around later Buttercup," I promise him, giving him a quick kiss.

We reached the parking lot and I set Quinn down, much to his disappointment. Evan and him climbed into the backseat and cuddled up.

I hopped into the drivers seat and drove use back to my house. Today's been pretty uneventful. I looked in the rear view mirror to see Evan and Quinn cuddling. I couldn't be more in love with those two.

I wish Remus could've come with us. That would've made today even better. It always feels like something is missing whenever one of the four of us isn't there.  I bet almost anything he's still asleep when we get home.

About fifteen minutes later, I pulled into my driveway. Ever since the whole Remus and Evan falling out of my window, Dad's back in jail and Mom decided I was old enough to live on my own and moved back to Florida. Which is honestly amazing to have the entire estate to myself.

Which meant, much to my happiness, that the four of us basically get to live here with no adult supervision.  A safe haven for Quinn and his cat.  A place for Remus to hang out without being bothered by his parents or Roman.  And Evan just likes hanging out with us, he has no reason to try to be away from home.

"We're home,"  I said.  "Wake up lovebirds."

The two stirred and got out of the car.  I walked up to the front door and unlocked it.  But the second I stepped into the house, an unmistakable smell filled my nose.

The smell of weed and cigarette smoke.  Anger filled me because I knew what this smell meant.  Even looked confused, obviously too innocent to recognize the smells.  Quinn was shaking.

I quickly followed the smell into the kitchen.  Remus was sitting on the counter next to an open window.  A cigarette in his mouth and a few rolled blunts laying on the counter next to him.  Along with a beer bottle. 

"WHAT THE FUCK REMUS?!"  I screamed, my fists balling angrily. 

Remus jumped in surprise and looked up.  There was terror in his eyes and I could tell that he knew he fucked up big time. He quickly snuffed out the cigarette but the damage was already done.

"This isn't what is looks like," Remus tried to say. He didn't look high, but he still smelled like weed.

"It sure as hell looks like it," I seethed. "You're smoking and doing drugs again."

"It's hard to quit!"  Remus yelled back.

"How long?"  I asked angrily.  "When did you relapse?!"

Remus didn't answer.  There was an angry look in his eyes but also sad.  But his silence only made me angrier. 

"How long Remus?"  I repeated lowly. 

"Since Valentines Day,"  Remus mumbled.  "Because I was upset about being alone."

"That's almost three months Remus!"  I screamed angrily. 

"You're not fucking in change of me!"  Remus yelled back. 

"Remus,"  Evan said, darting between the two of us.  "You promised all of us that you'd stay clean."

"I get that your perfect Evan but it's fucking hard getting clean from this shit,"  Remus seethed angrily. 

"Don't fucking yell at Evan!"  I yelled at Remus.

"Then don't yell at me!"  Remus yelled back. 

"You're doing the thing you promised us you wouldn't keep doing!"  I screamed angrily.  "These drugs are going to fucking destroy you again!"

"I'm perfectly fine!"  Remus defended himself. 

"But you won't be forever!"  Evan yelled desperately.  "Smoking is going to destroy you!  This is going to kill you!"

"Why can't I just get high or drunk when I need to?!"  Remus asked angrily.

"You shouldn't need to get high or drunk!"  I screamed.  "You're addicted to this stuff!"

"It's hard to quit!"  Remus yelled, anger blazing in his eyes.  "You two just don't fucking understand!"

"We would understand if you tried to talk to us about this!"  Evan told him.  "You need help!"

"I don't need shit!"  Remus yelled.  "I'm perfectly fine."

Anger filled me and my fist balled up.  Remus can't keep getting high or drunk or smoking cigarettes.  It's going to destroy him and I can't loose him.

"You're not fine Remus!"  I screamed, slamming my fist on the counter. 

I heard a faint whimper.  Only than did I remember that Quinn was still here.  We all turned quickly to look at him. 

Quinn has slid down the wall into the corner and had curled tightly into himself.  He had his hands over his head and was shaking slightly. 

"Stop yelling,"  He mumbled.  "Please."

"Shit, I'm sorry,"  I said quickly.  I knelt down next to him and reached a hand out.  But Quinn pressed himself into the corner instead.  At least he wasn't scratching himself.

"I'm sorry,"  Remus said softly.  "I know it's dumb to do this stuff and I know it's bad for me but it's hard to stop."

"You'll get better eventually,"  Evan told him, giving him a hug.  "But please change out of these clothes, I don't like that smell."

"I'm sorry,"  Remus said again. 

"It's fine, I'm sorry for getting so mad,"  I apologized. 

Remus sat down in the floor next to me, Evan following quickly.  Quinn uncurled himself and then curled up against in my lap.  I pulled Evan and Remus into the hug.

Ruining the moment, the doorbell rang.  I sighed angrily which made Remus laugh a bit.  I passed Quinn to Remus and Evan.

I stood up and walked back to the front door.  The doorbell rang again and another flare of anger rose in me.  Nobody should be here and I live too far out of town for it to be a salesperson or anyone like that.

I debated just ignoring whoever it was, but then the doorbell ran again.  I opened the door and a painful short of fear filled me as I looked into all too familiar eyes. One blue and one green.

"Hey Damien," Emery said with a soft smile.