Happy birthday Deceit!! 💛🖤

*that awkward moment when I really want to commission some nice ass fan art of my original characters but I'm broke af and too afraid to ask*

Blame by Air Traffic Controller

TRIGGER WARNINGS : talks about suicide and abuse

Virgil POV
I can't explain how upset I am. Not even cuddles and kisses from Roman are helping. I keep having panic attacks and I haven't stopped freaking out about Quinn.

Quinn hasn't showed up in almost two days now. He's missed two days of school and he hasn't gotten in contact with anyone.

Now Patton and Logan seem to be fighting so that doesn't help. Something about lying about feelings. But those two are soulmates so I don't think this fight will last too long.

My mental state has worsened to the point where I accidentally hurt my leg again. Not much but I just bumped it in the wrong spot.

But it really hurts and there a huge bruise. I've had to start using my crutches again Which pisses me off.

I'm headed to Opal Bridge. I have a gut feeling that he's there. I keep thinking he's trying to kill himself or that he's already dead.

Roman tells me that it'll be okay but I can tell that he doesn't believe that either. Remus, Damien and Evan are fighting now too. Remus is starting to relapse too, doing anything to get his hands on drugs again.

I took a deep breath of the cold winter air. Sadly its starting to warm up again and the snows even melting a bit. It makes me sad.

I could see the bridge up ahead. I couldn't see anyone on the bridge, but then again, I could barely see the other half of the bridge.

As I approached the bridge, my anxiety started to rise for an unexplained feeling.  Faintly I could hear someone crying and maybe two other people talking.

My walking sped up and I almost just tossed my crutches to the ground.  I can walk without them, if just hurt.

When I turned onto the bridge, I was met with what I feared I would.  Quinn was sitting on the ledge and crying.  Issac and Jackson were on ether side of him.

They were yelling mean things at him and goading him into killing himself.  Issac even tried to push Quinn off the bridge. 

"C'mon faggot, just kill yourself already,"  Jackson said with a smirk. 

"Everyone hates you,"  Issac added.  "No one would miss you if you died.  Who wants the psycho around anyways?"

I quickly headed out there.  But before Issac could say anything to warn Jackson, I picked up my crutch and slammed it into the side of his head.

"Fuck!"  Jackson screamed as he went down.  I smacked him again with my crutch, his time on the leg. 

"Get the fuck away from him,"  I growled, raising the crutch again. 

"Fuck you,"  Jackson growled back while Issac quickly pulled him away. 

I flipped them off with both hands.  They just glared back at me before disappearing into the woods.  I dropped my crutches.

I pulled Quinn off the ledge and down to the floor of the bridge.  I sat down and cradled him in my arms.  Quinn was sobbing heavily, barely forming coherent sentences.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,"  He repeated over and over. 

"It's okay,"  I told him until he calmed down.  "I'm not mad."

"But I just ran away.  I didn't even try to get in contact with anyone,"  Quinn argued.  "I made a big deal out of something stupid and now I'm sure everyone's angry with me."

"No one is angry with you,"  I said gently.  "We were all very worried." 

"I'm sorry,"  Quinn sobbed.

"Don't apologize for having feelings,"  I advised.  "You can't help how you reacted."

"I still shouldn't have just disappeared,"  He argued.

"You need time alone,"  I said.  "Where did you even go?"

"I met someone named Thomas, he's really nice, he took care of me,"  He explained.  "He goes to school with us."

"What's his last name?"  I couldn't help but ask.

"Sanders," 

Thomas Sanders.  One of Roman's theater buddies...a theater gay so he must be a nice person.  Someone he went up against for the lead role.

"How'd you to meet?"  I asked. 

"He talked me down,"  Quinn answered and that was all the explanation I needed.  If I ever meet Thomas, I need to thank him for saving Quinn's life. 

"Like what the hell is the point anymore?"  Quinn asked.  "Everyone fucking hates me."

"The audio was fake,"  I told him.  "Logan figures it out.  It was all edited together after someone asked them about Jackson."

Quinn just stared at me in shock for a while before suddenly bursting into tears.  He looked to be in complete mental anguish.

"I threw a fit for something that wasn't even real,"  He sobbed.  Then he started scratching himself.  "I'm such a fucking idiot.  I've ruined everything." 

I quickly grabbed his hands so that he wouldn't harm himself.  Quinn just sobbed heavily and rocked back and forth. 

"I fucking hate myself,"  He whispered. 

"Don't say that,"  I told him gently. 

"You say it all the time,"  He fired back angrily.  But then he went wide eyed and shrunk into himself.  "I'm sorry."

"It's okay,"  I told him, gently rubbing his back. 

"I'm sorry,"  He repeated, finally calming down.  "I shouldn't have assumed so much and thrown such a fit.  I should've talked to them first."

"Quinn you have anxiety and depression, you've been abused to hell and back.  You were alone for a long time and then you got hurt by the two people you really trusted,"  I said sternly.  "Stop apologizing for having these feelings.  You're allowed to be upset that your boyfriends allowed someone into the relationship without talking to you about it first."

"I still feel bad,"  Quinn mumbled. 

"Valid but you're still allowed to be upset with them,"  I told him. 

"I miss them,"  He admitted softly.

"Understandable,"  I whispered.  That's when I realized something.

I love Quinn.  Platonic or romantic aside, I care a shit ton about him.  He's my best friend and I'd date him on the spot if he wanted me to. 

But he's happy with Damien and Evan.  He needs them like I need Roman.  And I want Quinn to be happy.  I just want him I finally be happy and he has that with those two.  I'm happy to at least be his friend.

"There goes my luck
There goes my pride
There goes everything that I've been working for all of my life,"  Quinn started randomly singing. 

"There goes that dream
And so it seems
There goes the days and nights awakened fighting thoughts of losing,

"Maybe everything I learned before today was just a waste
What if everywhere I felt that I belonged was not my place
And it worked,"

Quinn went silent and stared off into the distance.  Before I knew it, I started singing too. 

"Don't blame yourself
'Cause you tried as hard as hell
With the hand that you were dealt,

"Don't blame
Get on your feet, enough poor me
If you got time to bitch and whine, well there's still time to try again,"

I stood up and pulled Quinn up to his feet.  I grabbed his chin and made him look up at me.  Together we both faced outwards towards the horizon. 

"This time you're free
I know it's hard to believe
After them days and nights awakened, feeling lost, you're losing it,

"But if everything you learned before today was just a waste
Think of everyone you met along the way and all you've faced
Boy, you've won
Yeah,

"So don't blame yourself
'Cause you tried as hard as hell
With the hand that you were dealt
Don't blame,"

I smiled at him and he smiled a bit.  I was getting somewhere.  I slipped my hand into his and started pulling him towards the other end of the bridge.

We paused at the end of the bridge.  It formed off into two paths.  One was a well maintained path that led into the woods, the other a rocky one that went almost straight up.  It followed the waterfall. 

"Now the road laid out before me is in flames
And the bridges that I've crossed have collapsed
And the vultures they are circling overhead
They're reminding me of choices from my past," 

Quinn sang softly, looking back at the bridge we came from before looking up at the sky.  But then I tightened my grip on his hand and pulled him towards the rockier path.

I started climbing despite my bad leg.  Quinn followed the best he could.  I started singing again. 

"Don't blame yourself
'Cause you tried as hard as hell
With the hand that you were dealt,

"Don't blame yourself
'Cause you tried as hard as hell
With the hand that you were dealt,

"Don't blame
Don't blame
Oh, you tried as hard as hell
With the hand that you were dealt,"

We reached the top of the path and I started moving faster.  Pulling Quinn with me towards the waterfall.  I sped up more, the two of us almost running at this point. 

"Don't blame
Don't blame
Yeah, you tried as hard as hell
With the hand that you were dealt,"

It was as if we had reached the instrumental climax of the song.  We burst out of the brush and onto the top of the waterfall. 

We stood together, still holding hands, on the large flat rock and watched as hundreds of gallons of water cascaded down towards the river. 

The setting sun looked beautiful on the horizon.  Painting the once cloudy sky with beautiful streaks of purple and grey. 

"Don't blame
Don't blame
Don't blame
Don't blame
Don't blame
There goes my luck,"  Quinn and I sang loudly together. 

I turned to Quinn and he looked so happy.  He was breathless, wether from the climb or the singing I wasn't sure. 

But he was smiling so brightly and it was finally reaching his eyes.  He was still looking out at the beautiful view. 

"Feeling better?"  I asked. 

"Much better,"  Quinn said with a genuine smile.  Then he hugged my tightly.  "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome,"  I whispered, hugging him back tightly. 

We stayed like that for a while.  Just holding onto each other and watched as the sun set.  But eventually we pulled apart.

"Ready to go talk to them?"  I asked, implying Damien, Evan and Remus.

"Yeah,"  Quinn said.  "I'm ready."