- And two... I am infertile.

Ink opened his mouth in pure confusion.

- Heh ?

Error sighed in annoyance

- Do you even know how to make childrens, rainbow asshole ? he asked ironically

- With love between two monsters ? answered ink, not really sure of himself.

Error looked at Ink with that "you're kidding me" face. But after a few seconds where ink looked at him as sincerely as he could, Error's facial expression started to change in disbelief.

- You really don't-... he started before interrupting himself. Nah... you're just... just fucking messing around... There is no way you're that... You know what squid ? Screw you !


And before Ink could do anything, Error opened a portal to an unknown location and left the tattooed skeleton alone.
After a while, Ink opened his mouth, but nothing came up.
Not a word or a sound. For the first time in a while, the great protector was speechless.

And once again, it was Error that made him out of words.

Suddenly the tattooed skeleton remembered that he was in his worst nightmare : the void.
He started panting, his heart-beat starting to go faster. He had to leave.

Leave this place before losing his capacities.

Using his brush he goes back to his messy, protecting doodle sphere. Once he considered himself in a safe place, the AU's protector took deep breaths.

Ok Ink... Focus.

The creator began to pace, talking out loud.

- What is going on ? Error is mad at me and I don't know why. What happened ? I just told him that I am pregnant...He started to get mad at this point, telling me that I betrayed him. What should I do ?


Ink stopped, rubbing his forehead

- What do I do every time I need answers ? I ask someone that knows the topic better than I do. What is the topic here ?

The great protector, humed while thinking.

- Oh feelings ! I'm suck at understanding those. So I need someone that gets them better than me, which means that I need Dream !

Proud of his reasoning, he inhales and then yells the name of the guardian of positive feelings.

You are probably wondering, why is he yelling Dream's name ? Like, is he in his room ? In the house of Ink ???
No sense !

Dream simply can hear the people that need him, and Ink was in that situation.
Soon after a golden portal opened in Ink's living room and a short skeleton got out of it.

- Heya old friend, said Dream

- Dream I need your help.

- Well I guess, sighed the crowned skeleton. You always do.

- I did something and Error got mad and I didn't know why. Can you help me understand ?

- Oh this sudden negativity is Error's...

Dream rubbed his eye sockets with his fingers, of course he would have felt this sudden negativity. More like despair to be honest. Nightmare must have felt it too.

- Go on, what did you do ?

- Nothing, I just went to him to... tell him something...

- And what is this "something" ?

- I...forgot...

- Innnk, groaned Dream. You're not making it any easier.

- I'm sorry ok ! Oh wait, musta've writin it somewhere, he continued while looking at his scarf.

After a while Ink smiled in triumph

- Ah ! Here it is ! I'm pregnant !

- Ad, bshtdv I- cmzn ?!

Dream was lost in confusion. He was happy that his friend and his lover were going to have a baby, but also, how the hell could Ink have forgotten that ?! And more importantly, why was Error mad about them having a baby ?

- So yeah, continued Ink. I went at Error's place, y'know, the void. And I announced the news... And he took it badly...

- Ok, what did he answer you exactly when you announced to him that he is a father ?

- Oh, he called me a mother fucker.

- Don't especially need Error's spicy langu...


But Ink didn't let him finish. His eye sockets closed, the painter tried to remember all the scene.

- I was surprised, I never saw him that angry. He... said that I had betrayed him and that I was messing with him.

- Don't help me that much, mumbled Dream. Continue, maybe we'll find something about this strange situation...

- Yeah, I told him that I didn't understand and... And... he answered me that the baby wasn't his kid... Wait what ?

- Oh, here is the plot, said Dream tiredly.

Ink shook his head in pure incomprehension. Dream nodded, encouraging the creator to continue.

- He said that there were two reasons... One it's because of something that we never did, but I don't know what, he didn't finish his answer, and two... That he was infertile or something like that... What does that mean Dream ?

Oh... So that was it... Dream groaned in frustration. Gosh darn, Ink can be really annoying !

- Do you even know how to make childrens ?

- Oh that's funny. Error asked me the same question, smiled the tattooed one. So I answered something like love between two monsters.

Dream looked at him with a blank expression, mouth a bit open, eyebrows up. A silence grew between the two skeletons. Ink started to get a bit uncomfortable.
And suddenly Dream screamed in pure exasperation.

- Jesus Christ Ink ! Are you really dumb or are you doing this on purpose !?

Ink startled. He never heard Dream yelled like that.

- Why do you all blow up like that ? What have I done ?!

- Ink, that's exactly why he is angry at you !

- Ok maybe, but what betrayal has something to do here ?

- Ink, sighed the crowned skeleton. Do you seriously don't know anything about sex ?

- I-huh... I've heard things about that... Mostly because of Plum...

Dream started to walk around the living room, pinching his nose with his fingers, mumbling things while shaking his head.

- I can't believe what I'm gonna do right now... If someone had told me one day "hey Dream, you're going to make your friend's sexual education !" oh, I would have laughed so hard !

- Huh... Ok ?

Dream inhales and starts explaining.

- Sex is an act that, usualy, two close monsters are doing to "prove" to each other their love. There are many exeptions of course, like people that don't need or want sex from their partners, or those who go to look elsewhere than at their lovers'... And sex is the more... common way to have childrens. So here is the problem, Ink, you have the irrefutable proof that you had sex with someone, cuz' your pregnant. Still following me ?

- I guess yes...?

- And what Error wanted to tell you is that he is not the father because... One, you two never had sex, and two, Error is physicaly unable to make children, explained Dream while stopping right in front of the creator, counting on his fingers.

Ink frowned, trying to bring all the pieces together. So he is pregnant because he had sex, but him and Error never had sex, plus Error is... Infertile ? Anyway, that word means that he can't have children, so apparently someone else is the father.

- I still don't get it, the creator said. Why would Error be mad at me ? I can just give that child to the real father and we are going to have our own... Well we're going to find a way for...

- Iiiiiiiiiink, sex is not like a lost drawing. How would you feel if Error just showed you a picture of him kissing someone else ?

- I... I wouldn't like that...

- Well here you have shown the proof that you have done worse than kissing someone else. Usually, only lover have sex together...

Suddenly, it went all clear in the creator's head : that's why Error was talking about betrayal !

- Oooooooh ! But that's not the case I can-...

The creator paused, Dream's facial expression wasn't as expected either... The Guardian of Positive Feelings was looking at him with dismay.

- I'm really disappointed Ink. Never thought you would do sucha thing to Error...

- Wait wha-?

- Goodbye.

And before Ink could add anything more, Dream was gone. Leaving him alone, again.