"Minji, make sure no one comes to visit me. Cancel my meetings for tomorrow morning as well." Jungkook stopped by his secretary for a moment and watched the young girl nod in understanding. Soon he was walking through his office doors that closed behind him, throwing his suitcase on a nearby couch and settling down on his office chair. 

He leaned into his seat, taking a deep breath with shut eyes to destress himself. 

If only it worked. 

Next he found himself swirling his chair, leaning his elbows on his knees as his fingers slipped through his hair. 

He felt empty, yet so many feelings whirled within him like a hurricane, unable to pinpoint a single one. 

He felt relieved, yet worried. 

Happy, yet angry. 

Blissful, yet stressed. 

All cancelling each other out to leave him with nothing but emptiness. But he didn't want that emptiness. 

He wanted to at least know what he was feeling. He wanted his heart and mind to be at peace and tell him what he was feeling. 

He raked his brain, searching for at least something that could lead him somewhere. Just so he could at least have a compass he could act on. A sense of sureness rather than being lost in a maze created by the battle between his heart and mind. 

Love

No. 

You still love her

No I don't! 

Yes you do

His fingers tugged at his roots as he let out a cry of anger; hopelessness seeping through. 

Why couldn't he just be at peace? Why did you have to come back and worsen the storm that whirled within him. 

You wanted her to come back

He bit his bottom lip, trying to find every possible reason to deny the thought. But he couldn't. 

He wanted you to come back. He longed to see you walk through his door. Every. Single. Day. Just so he could apologise and beg you to come back. 

But you didn't. Not until last night in front of his entire family and so called wife who all despised you. 

For a moment that night - just for a moment - he felt relief the second he caught sight of you. You were still alive, and with his daughter too. 

Jungkook's lips began to tremble as he tried to hold in the tears that threatened to stain his cheeks. 

Just the thought stabbed the wound that scared his heart. 

You could have had a family, if Eun was really his. The family that you would talk about as you stargazed under the night sky with laced fingers and bodies flushed together. 

Was he the one at fault? Or you for not telling him in the first place? He never intended to hurt you, nor have you leave his life that night. He just wanted to be alone - to have a moment to process everything. He didn't know how to act with the new found information. But before he knew it, you were already gone. Gone before he could apologise to you the next day, and have everything back to how it used to be. 

He couldn't help the single tear that traced a path down his cheek. The wound coating his heart feels just as fresh as if you were both eighteen just yesterday. 

He wanted to apologise, but there was still the hurt that lingered within him. The one caused by loneliness, betrayal, and worry. He still hadn’t healed, and he didn’t know if he ever would. 

The office door suddenly burst open, followed by the sounds of footsteps and protests from what sounded like his secretary, startling Jungkook in the process. 

“Mr.Kim, you can’t enter!” 

Jungkook swirled around to face the door, wiping his tears away before standing up and coming across Taehyung who held an irritated stare. 

“It’s alright Minji, I’ll take it from here.” Jungkook spoke to his secretary, eyeing his best friend who crossed his arms over his chest. 

Minji bowed, and retreated back outside, closing the wooden doors as she left. 

“What are you doing here?” Jungkook asked lowly as the opposing male slowly stepped forward.

“What’s going on with you?” Taehyung responded, ignoring his question. Jungkook’s brows narrowed. 

“There’s nothing wrong with me. I should be asking you that question.” 

Taehyung scoffed in irritation. 

“This morning, you acted like neither I nor she existed. You’re pulling up this cold front that’s only making everything worse.” 

“I didn’t do anything.” Jungkook took a seat in his chair, avoiding eye contact. 

“Oh yeah? Dragging her out of your house is doing nothing? Throwing her out, claiming she’s a liar is nothing? And in front of your daughter?!” 

“We don’t know that yet.” The younger’s jaw clenched as he tried to keep his calm. 

“Does it matter? For years, Jungkook, you’ve been going on about how much you miss her, how you’ve been worried about her. You’ve tried to look for her, and this one time she comes to your door, you become this fuming fire of anger. Is that why you wanted her to come back? Just so you could drag her out of your house again?!” Taehyung’s glare was strong as he voiced out his anger, his eyes piercing at the younger who avoided his stare. Jungkook’s hands fisted under the table while he tried to keep his cool. 

“Look,” the elder’s voice was a bit calmer this time, “I know you’re hurting, and I know that sometimes you can become reckless when your anger gets to you, but have you thought of her? It’s not just you who’s hurting, she is too.”

“She’s the one who left me in the first place, hyung.” Jungkook spoke bitterly as he could feel hot tears building at the thought. 

“You hurt her!” 

“She hurt me!” Jungkook yelled back, rising to his feet this time. “She didn’t tell me. We were supposed to tell each other everything, but instead she kept it away from me. I thought she was safe and happy, but she wasn’t. She lied to my face when I did everything for her. She didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth when I was out there trying everything I could for us." 

Silence filled the air for a moment as their gazes burned into each other. Jungkook sat down once more, wiping his tears. 

"I'm mad at myself for not being good enough for her to tell me, but I'm also upset that she didn't trust me enough, and I had to find out for myself. I never meant for her to leave for good, hyung." 

Taehyung let out a sigh, pursing his lips. 

"And I'm scared that...that Eun isn't mine, and that she was able to forget about me when all I did was wait for her to come back." 

He sniffed, a small smile appearing across his lips. "But if she is, God, I can't tell you how happy I would be, hyung. I'd have a daughter. Do you know how much I dreamed of that? To have a family with her? All she had to do was stay, and maybe...maybe we wouldn't be here now. Maybe everything would've been different." 

Taehyung's eyes softened as he watched Jungkook's inner feelings surface. The younger's nose had tinted red as tears slowly slid down his cheeks. 

"But I'm married now, and even if I try to push aside my anger, this," Jungkook pointed at his chest, right over his heart as a tear slipped off his chin and onto his suit jacket, "still hurts. And I don't know if forgetting everything will ever be possible."