Cherry blossoms

Your mind spoke as you watched the trees slowly emerge through the cold fog that surrounded you. Goosebumps ran down your skin. The chills along your spine made you shiver on the spot. The puff of air that left your lips turned into a small cloud, disappearing into the white fog.

It was quiet. You were alone.

You wanted to call out for someone. The ache of being alone with the gloomy fog and lines of cherry blossoms gnawed at your chest. It made you panic. You were afraid. Even so, not a single word left your lips as if your tongue was tied and was forbidden to speak - let alone cry out for help.

You were alone.

You didn't want to be. You hated being alone. You hated not having someone to reach out to. It was like trying to hold onto the fog that surrounded you, in hopes of it not slipping away. It was like how everyone you loved did so too, escaping through the tight grasp that you tried to have on them. Just like your mother. Just like your lover. Just like your daughter.

You were alone once more.

You swallowed the lump in your throat that formed only moments ago, your eyes flickering to search around you in the mysterious depths of the fog until falling onto a single cherry that hung in an arms reach, calling out for you. Saying your name without a voice.

You didn't know where the urge of reaching out to touch it came from, but it only grew stronger the longer you stared at the blood red fruit, which somehow reflected some light without a single trace of sun. You didn't fight the urge and only complied, your fingers touching the smooth surface before plucking it off the branch.

You stared at the small fruit in your hand with curiosity, but then everything went white.

A fluttery feeling erupted through your whole body as you were enveloped in nothing but warmth. A sigh of content escaping your lips while your fingers threaded through soft curls.

"Jungkook," you breathed out, your head tilting while your eyes stayed shut.

His lips curled into a smile against the soft skin or your neck, his body hovering over yours on the ground, amongst the cherry blossoms. His hand trailed down to your thigh, taking hold of it as his lips worked along your skin. A groan escaped his throat as your fingers tugged on his hair.

Everything felt incredibly soft, like you were floating in the clouds with no worries of falling through the sky. The grass tickled your skin under you, his touch making your skin tingle. Your heart felt fuzzy and warm as it pulsed at a certain rate that only happened when he was with you. When he touched you like he was right now.

His breath was hot against your neck, his lips capturing your skin in a way that left your lower stomach in a frenzy.

A moan you couldn't control left your lips at the pleasuring sensation that your lover created with the magic of his lips. It only made him grin further.

"Y/n," he called out your name in a whisper, "I want you."

His hand trailed from your thigh to your abdomen, his breath fanning your ear as he pressed himself against you.

Your eyes snapped open, your breath becoming shallow as you felt his centre press against your own.

"I..." your heart raced as you felt his touch grow closer to the space between your legs. "I can't."

His movements stilled. Your eyes locked with his once he moved his head from the crook of your neck.

"I'm not ready yet." you swallowed, struggling to look into his dark orbs that were filled with confusion and concern.

"We're engaged. I thought you'd want to-"

"I'm sorry." you cut him off, glancing away right after. You didn't know how you could look him in the eyes. You began to sit up and he followed, pushing himself off of you. Yet, his eyes lingered on your figure.

"Is there something wrong? If you're afraid I'll judge you, I'd never," he spoke with a gentle voice, taking your hand in his own, caressing your skin.

You shook your head, finally having the courage to gaze into his eyes.

"I just..." you gathered your words. "After marriage, okay?"

You could see the disappointment in his orbs, no matter how much he tried to cover it with his smile. But you couldn't help it. As much as your body and soul wanted to, your mind said no. No, because he didn't know. No, because you weren't ready to tell him the truth.

His hand cupped your cheek, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

"Okay, after marriage."

The scene shifted and disappeared, leaving you in nothingness once more.

Your eyes fluttered open to gaze at the familiar handsome face you fell in love with, staring at you with a grin. His eyes were filled with nothing but love and excitement, his hands squeezing your own.

"You may now kiss the bride," the elder man that stood next to you both announced into the empty chapel, his voice echoing into your ears as your heart continued to pound against your chest.

Jungkook pulled you against him, his arms slipping around your waist as you both couldn't help but let your lips curl up further.

"I love you," he muttered, his lips finding your own.

The fuzzy warm feeling that surrounded your body and ran through your veins fell cold. Your skin numb as the scene of a house amongst a forest appeared. Your legs could barely hold you up, your nightgown doing nothing to help you keep warm during the burning cold air of the hours past midnight. Your throat felt constricted, your tears drying on your cheeks stained with mascara. Your chest was weighed down by a dreadful pain compared to nothing like before. Your heart was ripping apart, slowly, painfully. In a way that you knew that moment that there was no stitching it back up. You were never going to be the same.

You were alone.

Your mouth came up to muffle out your cry as you found yourself somewhere else once more. Your hand came to hold onto the bathroom counter, stopping you from stumbling over. You felt your insides churning, your chest tightening in pain as you couldn't help but pry your eyes off of the object resting on the counter.

Positive.

That's what the pregnancy test read. And so did the two others that lay next to it.

Your hands trembled as your back hit the hollow wall before your legs gave up, making you slide down onto the tile floor. You pulled your knees to your chest, your head resting against them as you continued to cry in silence and alone.

The cherry fell out of your hand as you found yourself back amongst the fog and cherry blossom trees. You took several steps back from where the fruit lay, your chest filling with pain from the memories that flashed by. Your eyes filled with tears as you fisted your shirt near your chest.

It hurt. Those memories hurt. You wanted to let out a cry and scream, to stop them from haunting you, but you couldn't. No voice came out of your lips.

"Y/n." you heard a whisper.

Your eyes flickered up from the ground, your throat tightening as you caught sight of Jungkook and Eun amongst the fog. They held hands, their stare on you before turning their back to you. Your chest grew heavier as your tears flowed down effortlessly.

It hurt.

"Y/n."

It hurt to watch them leave.

"Y/n."

It hurt you to see the two people you loved leave your life.

"Y/n."

Only for you to be left alone in the cold.

"Yn," a deep voice called out your name, making your eyes snap open as you let out a gasp. Your hands grasped tightly onto the bed sheets, sweat covering your forehead.

"Hey, hey, it's just me."

Your eyes adjusted to spot Taehyung giving you a concerned look as he stood next to your bed.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly, unsure of what to do.

It took a moment for you to register his words before you let out a single nod.

"Y-yeah." you mumble, letting your hold on the sheets ease.

Taehyung bit his bottom lip, knowing very well that you weren't telling the truth.

Your gaze shifted from him to the empty space on the bed.

"Where's Eun?" Your heart pounded as you grew panicked, your eyes searching the bed for any sight of her.

"Hey, calm down. She just went to the bathroom." Taehyung answered, placing a hand on your shoulder to calm you down. He had never seen you like this before. It was making him all the more worried.

You shut your eyes, swallowing and trying to calm the rapid pace of your heart. You had to get yourself together, but it was difficult when you were only falling apart.

"I came to inform you," Taehyung began once he noticed that you had calmed down a bit more. Your eyes locked. "Jungkook's coming to pick you up to get a DNA test done."