Hi guys! I'm back...finally. It has been way way to long since i last posted and i hate myself for it but if anyone is still here then thank u so much and i am so so sorry! But yeh, GCSE's and Secondary School all done now (Next step collage yay!...save me oh god...) but yeh i know it has been a long time and most of u will have forgotten what is going on so if u like u can go reread anything you cant remember or i will just give a quick overview here.

Okay so previously on BIBB
Cat and Danny finally met again for the first time since the messy break up
Cat is having some confused feeling between Danny and Eoin
Guy is determined to try and help Luke now 
Mark has been acting odd, not going home and not being himself
Glen is determined to fix everything and make a list of Things Autumn would have wanted.
Kara has tracked down Danny is waiting to make her move to avenge Dan
Joey has befriended a little girl called Gale at Kara's place
Last time I left you on a cliff hanger of someone in a confession box admitting to 'Lying, deceit, cowardice, desertion....and murder'

So yeh i hope that is enough detail for a recap sorry again for the wait but i hope you enjoy this! :)

*****************************************************************************************

Chapter 18- How to Win Friends and Influence People

*Guy's POV*

I feel like I should say something, saying how I miss her, apologizing, anything; which is odd really, after all, talking to a stone would normally be considered crazy. I look at the flowers in the small vase at the foot of the stone, a minute ago they seemed so full of life but as I have watched them they seem to have shriveled and died. I sigh. I don't even know why I'm here; out of obligation I suppose. I don't want to be here, I don't want to know she, well at least what is left of her, is somewhere under that stone. I almost feel she is turning in her grave down there, knowing her killer is so close; because that's what I am- a murderer. I'm the reason she is dead, that makes me a killer.

But even a killer can repent his sins, can't he? If given a chance. So that is what I must do, repent. Luke believes himself to be a killer, and he thinks he is alone in these feelings. But it's different, he didn't set off that bomb that ended Jay, but I did push Annie to her death. Yet we are both slaves to this feeling of guilt.

I have been a terrible brother- well, a terrible most things, terrible boyfriend, terrible son and terrible brother- I know this. But maybe, maybe I can change that. It's almost New Year after all, the time for turning over new leaves. Maybe it's time I gave it a try.

I sigh, turning to leave the cemetery, my mind set on a new task- be the brother Luke deserves and needs. Suddenly I catch a glimpse of a figure hurrying out of the church and down out of the cemetery gates. I recognize the figure: the bald head and the ginger beard are fairly distinctive. I wonder what Mark Sheehan could have been doing in there.

*Luke's POV*

Running: I was never really a massive fan of it to be honest. Over short distances it was fine, but I was never one for cross country, more of a sprinter. But sometimes it's just what you need, you know? A good run. The great thing about it is in order to run you must be leaving something behind you, speeding away from it all as fast as your body can push you, and sometimes that's exactly what you need.

Music beats out of my headphones blocking out any sound from the outside world. I focus on it, forcing myself forwards, faster, further; even though my lungs are begging for mercy I can't stop.

I can see the gates ahead of me, where the grass and trees end and it opens out into the chaos of mainstream life. I don't want to reach it, but it's better than turning back, back to what I have been running from, so I bite my lip and continue.

I have to slow as I emerge into the streets, people bustling around their daily lives blocking my path.

The song changes and a familiar sound spills out of the small plugs in my ears. I loved it as a kid but haven't heard it in years; I guess it no longer felt appropriate.

"Come on baby... don't fear the reaper

Baby take my hand... don't fear the reaper

We'll be able to fly... don't fear the reaper

Baby I'm your man..."

I briefly wrestle over whether to change song but the tune and voice hypnotize me into a feeling of nostalgia and I can't bring myself to.

Suddenly ahead of me I see a group of young boys darting behind bins and trees, playing some sort of game in the street. As I approach my eyes are caught by the small plastic rifle in the boys hand as he conceals himself from his friends. I keep my pace, trying not to notice them, until, when I am just feet away, one of the boys yells "CHARGE!" So loud it drowns out my music and rings in my ears. Suddenly the boys swarm into the street, firing small plastic pellets at each other, the guns clicking loudly as each shot is fired. The sounds wash around in my head, mixing with the ghostly lyrics of the song. I feel my chest tighten, my throat seizing up as the sounds amplify, somehow becoming real gun shots. I watch them boys pepper each other with bullets, and then, suddenly from nowhere, something hits me.

The scar down my right side burns with pain as the small pellet smacks into it and suddenly it feels as if the scar rips open, revealing the old wound underneath. I gasp in pain, clutching at it, desperately trying to keep my body together. My vision swims and the sound of the song in my ears slowly begins to fade as I feel my knees buckle.

"Love of two is one

Here but now they're gone

Came the last night of sadness

And it was clear she couldn't go on

Then the door was open and the wind appeared

The candles blew then disappeared

The curtains flew then he appeared... saying don't be afraid

Come on baby... and she had no fear

And she ran to him... then they started to fly

They looked backward and said goodbye... she had become like they are

She had taken his hand... she had become like they are

Come on baby... don't fear the reaper..."

Cries of pain swim around in my head and I have to focus hard to work out whether they are my own; I certainly feel as though they could be.

"John? John can you hear me? Try and stay calm okay, we are going to help you." A voice says from next to me and I blink, my eyes adjusting to the light. I carefully turn my head, a small hiss of pain escaping my lips as I do so. The bed next to me is surrounded by four people, all focused on a young man on the bed. The man's- Well, more like boy by the looks of it- body is blood stained and bruised, shards of wood stuck into his flesh. I watch in horror as a woman holds the boy's shoulders who is screaming in pain. I watch as they sedate him, and begin work on the body remains of his body. It seems as though the world around me is sped up, the doctors running around at lighting speed. I can't remember where I am or what happened, all I know is my side is burning and I am afraid. I slowly slip back the white sheet covering my body and left the thin shift up and away from me, revealing my skin, if it can still be called that.

Purple patches litter it, mixed in with cuts and scares and stitching. And then my eyes fall upon my right side, the mangled flesh, being pinned together by a few strands of thread, as if I were a drag doll that's stuffing had split its seems.

My breath suddenly catches in my throat, choking me. Bile rises up through my body and I found myself gaging. Suddenly I remember it all; all the blood; all the screams; Jay. These thoughts flash through my mind in seconds blinding me, before suddenly everything is black, darker than I can remember it ever being and I wonder if this is how it will stay.

"Hello?" The voice drags me out of the darkness and into the blinding white light. "Is anyone there? Where are the lights? Has anyone got a torch? I, I think I'm injured, I, I can't feel my leg." I turn my head and stare at the bed next to me, a young man, his eyes covered in a white cloth, where his leg should have been under the sheets simply an empty space.

"Hello?" I croak, my voice sounding weaker than I expect.

"Hello? Who's there?" The young man asks, turning his head in my direction.

"Luke." I reply after a moment's hesitation. "Privet Luke O'Donoghue," I say.

"Privet Bobby Young. Where are we? Why is it so dark? What's happened?" He asks so many questions it makes my head swim trying to work out a reply, trying to think of a way to tell him.

"Bobby, Bobby we are in a hospital." I croak, looking around at the whiteness. "That or heaven" I mutter quietly.

"Why is it so dark?" Bobby asks and I look again at his face, at the scared tissue seeping out from under the white cloth.

"Bobby...it isn't dark." I whisper.

"What? What do you mean?" He says, his voice shaking. "No, no, why can't I see? Why is it dark!" He chokes his arms coming up to his face to find the white cloth. He pulls it away, sucking his teeth in pain and I have to look away, unable to bear the sight. "No, no, I-I can't see, I'm blind, oh god I'm blind aren't !? oh god no, no! No, please!" He yells and I can hear footsteps running the other side of the door.

"Bobby..." I try but he can't hear me.

"Oh god what about my wife? My little girl? I want to see them! Please I want to see them! I need to see them!" He cries as a nurse bursts though the door.

"Robert, Robert listen to me you are going to be okay. I need you to calm down for me okay?"

"I want to see my baby! I want to see my Isabel!" He screams as the nurse tries to calm him.

"Robert, you can be with her, you can be with your family soon. You are going to be fine." She soothes.

"But I can't see them! I can never see them!" He sobs. The nurse pauses, considering her words.

"No, I'm sorry, your eyes...I'm afraid the injuries to you retinas are irreparable. But you are alive."

"I won't see my baby grow up though. I won't see my little girl." He sobs and I feel tears in my own eyes. I turn away only to find the bed on the other side of me empty, every trace of the boy John scrubbed clean. Sure, he may have recovered, but you don't have to be a doctor to tell that is unlikely.

This is war; it's not the glory I imagined, saving the innocent, defeating the evil. War cares little for individual lives: war cares little for me; for that boy John; for Bobby and his family; for Jay.

Jay. "Nurse! Nurse!" I yell, rolling painfully back onto my back. Two more nurses have shown up to calm Bobby, one of whom leaves his bed side and comes to me. Before she has chance to open her mouth I spit out the most important question I have ever asked. "Privet Jason Hansard. He will have come in with me. Is he okay? Is he alive?" I ask, my heart beating so loud in scared it will drown out the reply.

"I'm so sorry-" She begins, her words sending me into free fall. "-Privet Hansard passed on before we got to you." The words are like being hit with a brick wall. I feel sick and I can't move.

"No." I say, the word sticking in my throat. "No, you're lying. You're lying." I say the tears already spilling out of my eyes. "No, Jay...no, no, please..." I want to scream and scream as though I could somehow call him back to me.

The nurse tries to calm me as I sob but I can't hear her words of comfort the all I hear is "Privet Hansard passed on" playing on loop inside my mind, accompanied by screaming.

*Glen's POV*

"Cassidy! Here girl! Come on, here girl!" I call as Cassidy persists to attempt to chase a squirrel up a tree. I sigh, looking down the list in my hand; the list headed 'Things Autumn Would Want'. So far the list consists of:

1. Cassidy is the happiest, best cared for dog in the world.

2. Danny moves on and is happy again

3. Mark starts acting like his old himself again and opens up

4. Cat is happy (Ideally back with Danny but whatever makes her happiest)

5. Cat and Danny are at least back to being close friends

6. We all start making more music together again

7. I am happy

I know the later can only be achieved when the first 6 are completed so from now on my only task is to get everything on this list ticked off.

"Cassidy, come on girl!" I call and she finally gives up on the squirrel and comes bounding to my side. I give her ears a quick scratch before continuing to make my way through the park, Cassidy hopping along a little in front of me. Suddenly she bounds forwards towards a jogger heading my way. The woman stops when she sees Cassidy, bending down and stroking her affectionately. I jog slightly to join them and here the woman cooing softly to Cassidy.

"Aww aren't you just adorable, hey?" She says, scratching Cassidy's ears. "She yours?" The woman asks, looking up and smiling at me. She is a little younger than me, dark skin and hair and a stunning smile lined with deep red lipstick- beautiful.

"Um yeh." I say, feeling a little stupid and awkward stood above them both.

"Aw she is beautiful, what's her name?" The girl asks.

"Cassidy." I reply, bending down at their height in an attempt to make myself feel less awkward.

"Aw hello Cassidy." She says and Cassidy wags her tail excitedly.

"I think she likes you." I say, smiling at how Cassidy rubs herself affectionately against the woman.

"Aw I'm glad." She laughs and I smile. "You walk her often?" She asks and I nod.

"Yeh a lot, she takes a lot of walking." I say and she smiles.

"Oh I can imagine. I'm actually new to the area, just moved in opposite here with my flatmate." She says, pointing back towards the street opposite the park. "Seems like a really nice neighborhood." She says.

"Oh yeh, it's a lovely place, you'll love it here." I say and she smiles.

"I'm sure I will. Maybe you could show me around some of the honeypot places of the area sometime." She says, straightening up and I do the same.

"Um, yeh sure. I'm Glen by the way." I say, holding out my hand and she takes it.

"Kara. I'll see you around Glen and Cassidy." She says, giving Cassidy one more ear rub before giving us a little wave then continuing jogging. I smile down at Cassidy, rubbing her head as she nuzzles me.

"You know girl, I think we just made a friend."

********************************************************************************************

So, there you have it! 

Guy saw Mark leaving the church...what could that mean??? 

And what do we make of Glen's new friend? She seems familiar to anyone?? 

The song on Luke's IPod is Don't Fear the Reaper by The Blue Oyster Cult. Ngl its probably one of my favorite songs i love it! Will attach it at the side!

So yeh, again i am so so sorry for being away so long! I have missed you all so much i hope you are all still here! How are you all? Would love to here for you all again! 

Oh btw i found myself wondering between tenses when writing i corrected myself when i noticed but if the tenses change sorry recently i have been writing stuff in a different tense so got confused! Sorry!

Hopefully i'll get another chapter up fairly quick! Thank you so much for reading you are all amazing! Please do vote and comment would love to hear from you! Love you all :)

                                                                                                                                        Jess xxx 

P.S. And as always, don't forget KETTLE if you read it all :)