Chapter 15- Twas the Night Before Christmas

*Guy's POV*

1am, Christmas day. Most people have started leaving by now; thank god; but sadly, I can't be one of them.  It's odd watching the drunk when you are (fairly) sober. I would normally be just as smashed as them, but not this year, I don't know why to be honest, maybe...maybe I don't want to the relief anymore. Maybe the thought of not being filled with all this...this pain, and anger scares me, because, if I'm honest, it’s all I am now. 'You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness' they say, and maybe they are right.

Suddenly I notice someone come and sit next to me and immediately feel something is wrong; I mean, nobody is ever overly keen to sit near me...

"Do you mind if I finish that?" My brother’s voice says and I glance down at the glass in my hand, still half full.

"No, take it." I say passing it to him.

"Thanks." Sean says before tipping it down his throat in one swift moment. He lets out a sigh as he finishes and begins swivelling the glass between his fingers. I can feel he wants me to ask what's wrong...but if I'm honest I would much rather not; so I don't.

Eventually Sean seems to give up on waiting on me. "I'm worried about Luke." He says suddenly and I can't help but huff; of course, Luke, I should have known. Why is it always the young ones who get all the attention? It's always either Luke or Danny isn't it?

"I think...I think war has changed him...sorta, scarred him. I keep finding him...well...broken." Sean says to the ground.

I can't help but smirk slightly at this. Just imagining that young, stupid boy, so excited to go off to war, I'm glad he found out it's not just fun and games, he needed to learn a bit of harsh reality.

But then, I guess I can sort of sympathise with him...he lost Jay after all...And he and Jay, well I don't think I've ever seen such close friends. I understand how he must miss him and I understand the guilt.

But I still hate him. I'm still glad he is broken.

Maybe now he will realise what it's like to be me.

"You haven't noticed anything...odd, with him, have you?" Sean asks looking up at me and I shrug. "I mean, you've been sharing with him so I just thought...in his sleep...people reveal a lot when asleep..."

"You have as well; I mean that flat is pretty small, the Walls are thin." I say.

"Yeh, but Dan and I are deep sleepers, a feather could wake you." he says.

Now I think about it, of course I've heard him. Muttering, crying out, thrashing around; it's one of the outcomes of not really sleeping, there is more time I hear things, notice things.

"Umm, I don't know, he mutters a lot, thrashed around sometimes I guess." I say vaguely and Sean sighs,

"We should keep an eye on him. You know Luke, he would never admit anything like this to us."

We sit in silence for a while but I find my mind is whirring. I can't stop thinking about Luke. It's like Sean has opened up this door in my head that's full of memories of him and I can't close it.

 I remember him calling out, crying. I remember him thrashing around as if he were being attacked. I remember him waking up gasping, his heavy, quickened breathing ringing out through the dark. And I just lay there, listening, turning my back on him.

I don't know why I should care though. He may be my brother but that doesn't mean I care about him, I don't, haven't for as long as I can remember.

So why do I feel guilty? Why do I feel I've done something terrible? Why do I feel...why do I suddenly feel it's up to me to try and fix things?

I guess I was never good to him so he had no reason to be good back. I was jealous of him I guess, I was jealous of his charms, of his popularity, of his courage. And because of that, I told myself I hated him, and I acted like it. But perhaps it was just me I hated. Perhaps Luke has done nothing wrong. Perhaps it's all my fault; it often is.

 But perhaps it's time for that to change.

*Cat's POV*

I smile slightly as I watch him sleeping, sprawled out on the sofa. The plan was he would leave at 1am...three hours ago...but I guess that plan has long since been abandoned.

I glance over my shoulder at the sound of voices near me. In the hallway I can see Sean, talking with his mother. I can't hear anything but I watch her nod, kissing him on the forehead and he hugs her briefly before slipping out of the door. She watches the door for a moment before turning. I think she sees me watching as she smiles and comes over to join me. The party is over now, just a few people still milling around but most have either gone to bed or passed out on sofa's etc.

"Hello Catharine, I haven't seen you in so long." She says giving me a hug. "How are you?" She asks and I shrug.

"Not too bad." I say and she smiles.

"Good. Daniel talking to you again then?" She asks and I blush a little and look down.

"Yeh, we've talked a bit. It wasn't just him though, we both distanced ourselves." I say

"Well, none of that matters now hey?"

"I hope not." I smile and she grins.

"Seems like your fried enjoyed himself." She says nodding to Eoin on the sofa. I can’t help but smile.

"Yeh. Is it ok if he stays the night as well? Cause...well I can't see him moving anytime soon." I say sheepishly and she chuckles.

"Yeh it's fine honestly, he seems like a nice lad." She says and I find myself smiling and blushing again.

"Yeh, he is."

"Are you two...?" She asks and I shake my head.

"No. No just friends. He flirts but that's just him, you know?" I say and she nods. "I think...I think Dan may have got the wrong idea though." I say, unable to keep the worry from my voice.

"Aw don't worry about him, he will be fine in the morning I'm sure, and if not then I'll give him a little chat." She says and I smile.

"Thanks."

"No problem sweetheart. And if you've ever got a problem I’m always here for a good natter." She says with a kind smile.

“Thank you.” I say, her words warming me slightly.

"Right, I better go and help Louise get Leo and her brother up to bed; they are like a couple of over excited toddlers fed to much sugar!" She says and I grin.

 "Ha okay, goodnight then, and thanks." I say smiling.

 "Night sweetheart; and Merry Christmas." She says.

 "Merry Christmas." I say as she makes her way over to Louise.

I sigh and glance back down at Eoin and smile a little sadly. I push his hair back out of his eyes and sigh again. "Why'd you have to come and complicate everything even more, hey?" I ask. Gently, I push his hair behind his ear to secure it, allowing my fingers to keep running down through his soft brown hair for a moment. "Merry Christmas." I whisper, before kissing my finger tips and pressing them softly to his temple. He looks so peaceful in his sleep. I sigh, rubbing my head and getting to my feet and heading towards the kitchen. A hot drink and sleep is what I need; least I'm sure of something.

*Joey's POV*

I love Christmas. I'm not sure why. Dan hated it. But I like all the pretty shop windows and the happy songs and the trees with the fairy lights. There is something magical about them; the glittering of the lights and the smell of the tree...it makes me happy. I don't know why, I just see it, smell it, and my mind suddenly feels happy.

Amber liked Christmas. She bought me a she bought me a box of fish and chips every year, and a blue hat one year, and a scarf the next, and then some gloves! She said it would stop me getting sick from the cold. I wish I still had them; they were nice and warm and always smelt of fish and chips.

Here, unlike with Dan, there is a bit of Christmas. The songs are sung out of tune and lines invented and the tree is just a large twig decorated with tin foil and old ribbons, but Gale likes it.

"What is Christmas?" Gale asks, pulling my hand. I pause for a moment, trying to think of words, before smiling to myself at the thought.

"Umm...Christmas is food. Lots of food. And it's songs, and it's trees and presents and Santa! And Christmas is...happy." I say as she gazes up at me.

"What's Santa?" She asks and I can't help but raise my eyebrows in surprise.

"Santa is father Christmas! He has a big beard and a big belly and a big red coat! He rides a siege pulled by reindeers and comes down your chimney and if you are good leaves you presents!" I say excitably.

"Oh..." she says, her face falling, "Am I not good?" She asks her big grey eyes wide and sad, confusing me.

"Of course you’re good small! You are better than good! You are...you are iced buns good!" I say and she giggles but I can't help but still feel sad. How come a sweet little girl like her isn't on Santa's list? I was once, though I haven't been for a long, long time. But I remember him coming once when I was little.

"Maybe Santa can't find us here Gale. Maybe he can only find you at home. Where you grew up." I say.

"But I don't know where that is." She says. "I've never had a Christmas before." I look at her for a moment; that doesn't make sense cause surely everyone has Christmas! Christmas is a day! And you can't not have a day! But she knows nothing of trees and Christmas food and songs and presents and Santa. I know I don't know much, Dan always told me so, but I do know everyone should have Christmas, and I know Santa shouldn't miss off someone like Gale. And then, suddenly, I have an idea; maybe I could buy a red coat and eat lots of pies and grow a beard, and then, then I could be her Santa!

…I wonder where you can buy reindeers in Dublin…

*Cat's POV*

I can feel my eyelids beginning to fall as I reach around in the cupboard for a mug. As I place one on the counter I become aware of voices from the small table in the corner of the room.

"Dan, come on, please." Glen says pleadingly to pile of arms and a head on the table. Danny groans some inaudible reply and Glen sighs. "Come on, your tea is getting cold." Glen says pushing the mug further towards Danny.

"I don't care." Danny mumbles, his voice broken, as though he has been crying.

Glen catches me looking and gives me a pleading expression and I nod. "Okay, well I'm going to check on Cassidy then." Glen says standing up and giving Danny a small pat on the arm.

"Bye Boris." Dan mumbles and Glen furrows his eyebrows in confusion for a moment before dismissing it. He comes over to me as I continue to prepare my drink, pausing next to me and talking quietly.

"He won't move, just sits there and mutters gibberish about you and that Eoin fella. I can't get through to him." Glen says and I nod.

"Has he been crying?" I ask, my heart aching a little at the thought.

"He is drunk out of his mind Cat, don't take it to heart, you know how emotional he gets after a few." He says, giving me a small smile and I nod.

"I guess." I say looking over at him. "I'll deal with him, you get some sleep you look shattered." I say and he smiles, yawning.

"Thanks, you’re an angel." He says and I smile before he turns and makes his way wearily out of the room.

I take the warm mug in my hands and walk quietly over to the table, taking a seat opposite him. I look down at the steaming mug in my grasp before pushing it across the table to him.

"Here." I say. He doesn't look up from his cocoon of arms, just sniffs and mutters. "I said I don't want tea." He says and I smile.

"That's good, because this isn't tea, or coffee, this is something way more powerful." I say and he stirs a little, loosening his arms slightly in order to hear.

"This has mysterious, marvellous...and...stupendous healing properties." I say and he slowly looks up, his eyes red, his face glistening as if many tiny snails had raced down it.

"What sort of healing properties?" He asks quietly.

"The best sort." I say with a soft smile and, slowly, he reaches out a hand, wrapping his fingers around the pottery. Slowly, shakily, he brings it to his lips and takes a sip. I see a smile appear on his face as his eyes close in pleasure at the taste. "That's good." he says dreamily and I smile.

"Thought you would like it."

He puts the cup down again, licking his lips. "I would have thought you would be with your boyfriend.” He says matter-of-factly and my smile falls.

“I don’t have a boyfriend, Danny.” I say, taking the cup and taking a quick sip.

“You looked pretty cosy with girly hair boy back there.” He says, a harshness seeping into his voice.

“Girly hair boy?” I scoff, “His name is Eoin.”

“Whatever…you still looked cosy.” He mumbles.

“Dan we did not-” I begin but he cuts in.

“No, no it’s fine. I don’t care, honestly, doesn’t affect me. I couldn’t care less.” He says, the harshness morphing into that tone I have heard him use so many times before; the trying to act tough voice, the secretly broken voice.

“Danny, listen to me, Eoin and I, we really are just friends; we just work together.” I say.

“Ah, office romance is it? How lovely.” He says, his voice dripping with badly covered sarcasm.

“Stop being so childish! There is nothing between us Dan, he was drunk and is very friendly.” I say

“I bet he is.” Danny scoffs and I sigh.

“Dan, please, your just making this difficult, I say there is nothing between us, if you don’t believe me then what more can I do?!” I snap, suddenly losing my temper, lack of sleep and slightly too much alcohol starting to take effect on my emotions. “And even if there was, you should be happy for me! That’s what friends do! All those girls over the years, and I was always happy for you, because you were happy! Hell was I jealous but I was happy for you!” I yell and then, all of a sudden, tears begin to fall from Danny’s eyes. For a moment I just stand there, shocked, then the guilt kicks in. “Oh. Danny. I’m sorry; please I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell at you.” I whisper, moving round the table to hug him, the smell of spirts filling my nostrils.

“No, no, I’m sorry, I’m a twat, I’m sorry.” He says with a choked voice and I smile.

“Just a little.” I say and he sniffs.

“I…I just…I miss you. And, and I thought, if you had another guy, I thought you wouldn’t have time for me anymore.” He says looking at me and I smile sadly.

“I will always have time for you O’Donoghue.” I say, kissing him softly on the forehead and he smiles slightly.

“Does this mean…we are ok?” He says, whipping his eyes ungracefully with his sleeve.

“Yes, of course.” I say with a fond smile. “Friends?” I say, holding out my hand to him. He looks at it for a moment before smiling slightly.

“Friends.” He says, taking my hand, and as he does I pull him to his feet.

“Right, let’s try and get a few hours sleep before the sun rises, hey?” I say before beginning to help him stagger out of the kitchen.

I have had many great Christmas presents over the years, a lot of socks, but a lot of great things too, but none of them, not even the piano when I was 13, none of them can match up to this one; I have Danny back, and I am never going to let myself lose him again.

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Hello!

Sorry meant to post this yesterday but didn't get a chance!

So...i wrote most of this in the south of france...where then it wasnt raining...it was very warm...not very christmasy...but hey lol

....i may have slightly put the name Boris in just to mark the odd time when half The Script Family on twitter thought a guy called Boris was Glen with a secret fan account. I changed my mind a lot about it but yeh its not Glen, but it was hilarious.

So, hope u liked this chapter! thanks so much for reading! please do vote and comment! Would love to know ur thoughts! Thanks! Ur awesome :)

                    Jess :)

P.S. Idk when the next update will be cause ive got to get the next chapter straight in my head first and i hope to meet up with friends as its the last week of summer holidays! So yeh, idk but hopfully not to long! :)

oh and don't forgot KETTLE :)