Chapter 14- Merry Christmas Everyone

*Glen’s POV*

‘U outside yet? G’

‘U saw me leave! M’

‘Oh yeh, any sign? G’

‘Its hard 2 tell there r loads of cars&people! M’

‘Keeping looking, text me when u do. G’

I sigh, sliding my phone into my pocket. There is already a party atmosphere in here, the huge Christmas tree giving off that scent, the scent that makes me think of turkey and coco by the fire and warmth; Christmas. Music already playing throughout the room as more and more people arrive.

Dan is across the room, talking with Sean by a huge Christmas cake. He looks nervous and stressed; no fit state to talk with Cat. I have taken it as our mission to make sure things go smoothly between them tonight, get a drink down them both first, but not to many, create a situation where they can talk easily and in public view to avoid any nasty business and just make sure they get somewhere, somewhere where they don’t cut off contact from each other for months.

 “Hey Glenny!” A voice suddenly chirps from behind me and I turn to see Danny’s sister, Roisin, her long chocolate brown hair falling all down her back in beautiful waves. I know she is my mate’s sister, but she is gorgeous.

 “Oh, hey.” I say, smiling.

 “How are ya? Haven’t seen you since…umm, July wasn’t it?” She says, pausing to think.

 “August.” I correct and she grins.

 “Ah, yeh that’s it!” She says, “So, how are you?” She asks and I shrug,

 “Not bad, thanks, you?” I ask and she smiles,

“I’m great thanks.” She says and I can’t help but get lost in her eyes. “Have you been looking after my little bro?” She says, perching herself casually on the side of a table.

“Ha, well yeh, as much as I can.” I say, and she smiles and nods, suddenly becoming a tad more serious.

“Thank you, I think he needs it right now.” She says, looking over at Danny. I am about to reply when suddenly my phone explodes into to sound. I smile sheepishly at Roisin and slide my hand into my pocket, glancing down at the screen.

‘She is here! M’

I sigh, biting my lip, before suddenly it sounds again.

‘Shit! She brought a guy! Plan B! M’

“Shit!” I say before I can stop myself. Roisin raises her eyebrows,

“Trouble?” She asks as I shove my phone into my pocket.

“Yeh, umm sorry, I’ve gotta go do something.” I say reluctantly.

“Cool, okay, see you around.” She says, standing up and turning,

“Yeh, see you.” I say as I watch her go over to her sister; Mirran. What is it about the

O’Donoghue’s and being gorgeous? It’s so very distracting…

*Cat’s POV*

“Thanks again for this.” I say as we walk towards the house.

“You don’t have to thank me! I’m glad you asked! Better than sitting in my boxers with a bottle of beer watching Wallace and Grommet all evening…not that I do that…” Eoin says, and I laugh. “So, how do you know this O’Donoghue?” He asks but before I have time to think of any way to answer, a huge shape shoots out for the darkness towards us, pouncing on me. “Jesus!” Eoin cries, stumbling back in shock.

“Nope, it just Cassidy.” I say, laughing as I try and stop the affectionate dog from knocking me over. “Hello girl, hello, aww good girl.” I say rub behind her ears affectionately.

“Cat!” Someone calls and I look up to see a figure walking towards us, their face hidden by shadows.

“Mark?!” I exclaim, grinning as the bald head and beard become visible. “Aw I’ve missed you.” I say as I hug him.

“Ha, me too.” He says as he pulls out of my arms and looks to Eoin.

“Oh, right yeh, Mark this is Eoin, he works with me at the theatre.” I say.

“Alright mate, nice to meet you.” Eoin says, holding out a hand which Mark takes.

“You too mate.” Mark says with a friendly smile. “No Sally?” Mark asks, looking back at me.

“No, she’s sick, she says Merry Christmas though.” I say, even though technically she didn’t, but I’m sure she would have.

“Oh, tell her I send my love.” He says and I smile.

“I will do.” A silence falls on for a moment and I smile awkwardly.

“Well, I don’t know about you but I could do with a drink.” Eoin says and Mark nods.

“Same.” I say and Eoin smiles,

“Well then, let Christmas commence.”

*Guy’s POV*

Christmas; let’s just say it’s not exactly my favourite time of year. The whole peace and good will to all crap is annoying and the family and friend reunion thing is even worse. But apparently spending Christmas alone with my guitar, iPod and a can of beer is not an option; sadly. So, here I am again, yet another year of presents and parties and people being friendly and I am expected to join in, well that’s what I have been told by Ma…and the girls…and Sean…and Danny. In fact the only person who hasn’t told me to join in yet is Luke and that’s probably simply because he cares more about the contents of his glass than me.

The party has only been going about half an hour and I’ve almost given in on the whole friendly thing. I know Ma expects us to do all do some stupid performance and Dan has been stressing over it all week; then again, I guess I can sort of understand why; he wants to impress Cat to try and improve his chances of getting back with her and well, he knows I’m not one for co-operation, and he also knows that by that point in the evening it will be a miracle if Luke is still standing.

 I sigh, leaning up against the wall as Luke flirts with the small group of girls that have gathered around him, accepting another drink of them while kissing another. I glare at him out of the corner of my eye, wishing for this torture to be over.

I roll my eyes and turn to my drink as Luke slowly pushes through his posy and over to me.

 “Guy!” He cheers and I sigh and I mentally punch him. “Why are you stood all on your own, hey? It’s a party! Come on, enjoy yourself.” He says and I take a step away from him as he reaches out to me.

 “I’m fine here thanks.” I say, taking a drink from my bottle, trying to keep my cool.

 “You know what you need? A girl!” Luke says and I close my eyes and sigh in frustration.

 “No I don’t, I’m fine.” I say just as Louise Hayden walks past.

 “Oh, hello you two! It’s been ages.” She says and I put on a smile.

 “So it has,” I say, my wind whirling to think of an excuse to leave; I can’t be bothered to engage in conversation however I think she gets the message anyway by the awkward silence and blunt answer.

 “Well, Merry Christmas, both of you.” She says with a smile, but although the statement was meant for both of us, her attention is caught solely by Luke. “I’ll see you around.” She says, pushing her mousey brown hair a little further round onto one shoulder before turning away and disappearing into the crowd.

 Suddenly, a voice appears by my ear, almost making me jump. “Why don’t you ask her for a dance.” Luke whispers. I raise my eyebrows at him.

 “Let me think…umm, no.” I say.

 “I could ask for you.” He says and my brow furrows.

 “Why would I need you to ask for me?” I ask and he smiles.

 “Because, you know, I can actually talk to women without weeping or setting fire to myself.” He says

 “I can talk to women” I snap at him and he smiles.

 “Well then, why don’t you?”

 “Because I don’t want to, now piss off.” I hiss at him.

 “Woah sorry, only asking.” He says, holding his hands up in innocence.

 “Luke, Guy, Dan’s looking for you; he says it’s almost time.” Sean says, suddenly appearing from the crowd.

 “Time?” Luke asks, leaning against the wall floppily.

 “Yeh, you know, for the performance.” Sean says and Luke’s face suddenly lifts.

 “Ohhhhhhh!” He says, dragging it out with a ridiculous grin. Sean’s shoulders fall and he sighs.

 “Maybe we should get you a coffee Luke.” He says, talking him by the arm and pulling him from the wall. “Rather a lot of coffee.” He mutters as he drags Luke away. I watch them go before sighing, I guess I probably should find Dan before he has a panic attack cause we aren’t there yet or something.

 God I hate Christmas.

*Cat’s POV*

“Cat! Hi!” an excited voice suddenly calls and I panic for a moment before realising it was a female voice. I turn to find Louise walking towards us.

“Oh, hey Louise.” I say with a friendly smile.

“Merry Christmas.” She says with a girlish smile and I grin

“Merry Christmas.” There is an awkward silence for a moment before I remember Eoin next to me. “Oh this is Eoin, a friend of mine from the theatre.” I say and Louise smiles.

“Hi.” She says, holding out a hand and Eoin takes it.

“Hey.” He says, taking her hand to his lips. I feel a flush of angry run through me but try and ignore it. Anyway, he can flirt all he likes and never get anywhere with that girl, she only has eyes for one man.

Suddenly two men appear through the crowd carrying three drinks between them. “Thanks Si.” Louise says as she takes a drink from him. “You remember Cat, don’t you?” She says and he smiles.

“Of course, hey, nice to see you again.” He says, and I smile.

“And this is her friend Eoin; this is my brother Simon,” She says, “and this is his partner, Leo.” She says as she introduces them.

“Leo Pike.” Simon put in with a grin and Leo rolls his eyes and I grin.

“What’s your name boy?” I say,

“Don’t tell him Pike!” Eoin cries and I can’t help but laugh.

“Bet you get that a lot.” I grin and Leo sighs.

“Yeh.”

“Aw you love it really.” Simon coos and Leo sighs with a smile.

Suddenly the music dies away and I look up towards the small ‘stage’ at the end of the room. Sean taps a drum stick against the cymbal, catching the room’s attention.

“Ladies and Gentlemen-” he begins but I tune out. I see him, stood at the side, tuning up a guitar, just as beautiful as he was all that time ago. I watch as he hands the guitar to his brother and begins to walk up to join Sean.

“Merry Christmas everybody!” Sean calls and there is a cheer as the O’Donoghue’s take up places, Dan with his keyboard, Sean behind the drums, Luke and Rosin with guitar’s and Guy and Mirran playing Bass.  I recognise the song immediately and can’t help a smile spread across my face. Merry Christmas Everybody, by Slade.

I can’t take my eyes of Danny the whole time, watching that smile of his as he sings and plays. I am surprised to find myself singing even thought I hadn’t registered that my mouth was moving. The song ends are there is a round of applause but I struggle to join in as I discover my hands are shaking. They begin again, Merry Christmas Everyone by Shakin’ Stevens.

"My princess, my I have the pleasure of this dance." Eoin says, holding a hand to me. I smile at him, so adorable and gorgeous, but...but I can't.

"Sorry...I don't dance." I say and I see his face fall for a moment before he quickly replenishes his smile.

"How about you my lady?" He says, moving on to Louise who smiles, blushing slightly before taking his hand and moving towards the centre of the room.

 "He's a nice guy." A voice suddenly says over my shoulder. I turn to see Leo smiling at me.

 "Yeh, he is."

 "Good looking too." Simon puts in with a grin.

 "Yeh, I know." I sigh.

 "You shouldn't let a nice guy slip through your fingers. Believe me, guys like him, they are one in a million." Leo says and I sigh.

 "Maybe." Silence falls for a moment as I watch the show, Leo's words ringing around in my mind.

 "Leo Pike, may I?" Simon suddenly asks, holding out a hand.

 "You know I don't really dance." Leo says and Simon smiles,

 "I know, that's why I brought a secret weapon; chocolate, preferably dark." He says, tossing Leo a bar of dark chocolate and Leo laughs.

 "In that case, how can I refuse?" he says grinning before the two of them go and join Eoin and Louise.

I turn back to watching the stage, suddenly, Luke stops playing and staggers quickly off stage and works his way away through the crowd. I see the confusion on the others faces but they continue none the less. Suddenly, as I watch Danny's eyes find mine.

"It's the season for love and understanding, Merry Christmas everyone." He sings and the breathe catches in my throat. I quickly look away. I was stupid to come here, I'm not ready for this, I can't see him, not now not yet. But then, when will I be ready? I can't put it off forever? Can I?

*Luke’s POV*

I slam the door behind me, leaning against it for a moment, taking comfort in the fact this piece of oak is cutting me off for everything, if just for a little while. I stagger over to the sink, leaning my weight on the white bowl as I gaze at my reflection in the mirror. I close my eyes, leaning my head against the glass with a groan as the sounds from outside vibrate around my skull. Suddenly, new sounds erupt within my head; suddenly I hear the cries, his cries, the explosions, the gun fire; all of it; and my hands fly to my ears, trying to fight the sounds out of them. I press all my strength against my head, trying desperately to fight the memories back inside. I wish I had a bottle right now; nothing fights back the sounds like strong sprits. My eyes are closed yet I see it all so clearly, the blood, the pain, the sand, the heat, his lifeless eyes. I gasp, slumping forwards, my forehead smacking back against the mirror.

Why did they have to choose those? Why did they have to choose his favourite? I can see the scene so clearly in my head, last Christmas, our singsong in the desert, mixed in a sick montage with that day, the worst day of my life…and the last of his.

Suddenly there is a loud knock at the door snapping me sharply out of my memories. My body lurches forwards, losing the contents of my stomach to the sink. I gasp, trying to remember how to breathe as I stagger sideways.

"Luke? Is that you?" I hear Sean call as he tries the door and I mentally scold myself for forgetting to bolt it. "There you are." he says, slipping into the small bathroom. "Are you okay?" he asks, his face grimacing as he looks to the sink. I take a deep breath, trying to compose myself.

"Yeh, ugh, I, I just, had a bit too much to drink." I stutter as I steady myself, turning on the taps. Sean nods,

"I see." he says, grimacing again. He falls silent for a moment, watching me but I don’t care. I stagger over to the toilet seat and lower myself onto it, placing my head in my hands. I can feel them shaking uncontrollable and I try and stay calm but I don’t know how. If I close my eyes…if I close them I will be back there again. I feel bile rising up my throat as my chest rises and falls as though I have just run a marathon. My heart beat rings through my body, beating behind my ears, in my throat, my wrists, my stomach, in my chest; a constant reminder that I am alive, I made it; a constant reminder I am left behind, that Jay cannot feel these things where he is, and all this is my punishment for letting that happen.

“Luke?!” Someone suddenly yells and for a moment I hear him, I hear it as his voice, but it’s not, and it never will be again.

“Luke!?” Someone calls again and I glance up to see Sean, a few inches away from my face, concern lining his features. As I look into his eyes I can feel tears begin to surface. I quickly try and bury them, not wanting to show my weakness to him, not wanting to bother him with my patheticness. “Luke?” He says softly.

“I’m fine.” I manage to choke out, raising a hand slowly into my hair and my fingers begin to massage my scalp, trying to calm myself.

“Are you sure? You’re shaking.” Sean says and I nod quickly.

“Drink; I told you.” I mutter, clasping my hands together, trying to steady them.

“Luke…”

“I’m fine!” I snap, my hands exploding apart dramatically however as they hover there, in the air they begin shaking even more violently than before. I quickly draw them in to my temples. “I’m fine.” I whisper. Sean sighs, glancing around us for a moment.

 "Why'd you run off like that?" He asks after a moment.

 "Cause I didn't wanna puke on everyone." I snap and he sighs.

 "Luke...I don't know what you are trying to prove." he says but I don't know how to respond. "It's okay you know, not to be fine." He says softly. For a moment I want to let go, drop my defences and admit defeat. But I can't. Something in me can't.

 "But you know what isn't okay? Bloody harassment." I spit at him.

 "Luke-"

 "Leave me alone!" I yell, glaring at him, right into his eyes, "Just leave me fucking alone!" I yell and I see the shock and hurt in his eyes.

 "Okay, Okay." he says, slowly backing away. As soon as he is out of the door I slam it shut, pulling the bolt across. And then, once everything is locked outside, the angry is gone, the energy is gone. As soon as my hand leaves the bolt I slide down the wall, my body suddenly limp, like puppet that’s had his strings cut. Suddenly, slowly, the shaking starts up again, starting in my hands, moving its way up to my lower lip and the waterworks open. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore.

There was a moment, out in the desert; I thought I was going to join Jay. I had been dragging his body, hoping with all my heart there still might be some hope for him, that there was still something they could do, but the heat and my wounds had drained me. I lay on the sand, under the baking sun, his body lying next to me in the sand. I don't think I have ever been in so much pain. The sand had worked its way into my shattered side, as sand always does, bits of scrappy clothing sticking to the bloody flesh, flies buzzing around it like tiny vultures, waiting for me to become no more than just meat. I remember laying there, closing my eyes and thinking that was it, that was the end. That is all Luke O'Donoghue did with his life; that was my contribution to the world, it all would end there. And you know what, now, I wish it had.

*Cat’s POV*

He is watching me, I can feel it. I can't see him, or hear him, just...just, feel him, feel him watching me. And it scares me, god it scares me, but I can't stop that small feeling in my chest, the small flutter of the butterfly as it awakes from its long sleep deep within my heart. Louise is talking to me but I'm not really listening. She is a lovely girl, a shy, mousy girl, but very kind and very clever and very...lonely. I should be listening to her, she deserves my attention. But I just can't afford to give it.

I can see Eoin in the crowd, far from sober but very happy by the looks of it. That goofy look of his, not his flirty smile or his teasing smirk, as lovely as those things are, but that goofy grin, his real smile, almost too big for his face which, oddly, makes him look more beautiful than ever.

 I turn my eyes away, cursing myself for managing to confuse myself even more. This is so...playground, teenage, cliché; the list goes on. Two guys, one I've loved for as long as I can remember, but hurt me, the other funny, caring and brilliant...it should be an easy choice, but it's not, of course it's not.

Suddenly I am snapped out of my trance as the sound of a phone rings out, fighting against the sound of the music.

“Oh, sorry I better take this, catch you later.” Louise says, removing the phone from her pocket and heading from the door. I just stand there, watching the crowd, suddenly feeling alone and vulnerable. Suddenly, a voice startles me.

“Then God be blessed, it is the blessed sun,”

I know the voice immediately, I can’t see the owner. The sound comes from behind me. I stand stone still, listening.

“But sun it is not when you say it is not,

 And the moon changes even as your mind.

 What you will have it named, even that it is,

 And so it shall be still for Katherine.”

I can’t help but smile at these words and slowly, I turn to face their speaker.

“The Taming of the Shrew; Katherine’s speech, when she first starts to give in to Petruchio.” Danny says with a smile. “See, I do listen.”  I just watch him, in silence, tears threatening my eyes. "Shit, I did get it right didn’t I? Damn I’m sorry I’m such an idiot” He mutters.

“No, no, you got it just right.” I say, my voice choking slightly.

“Oh…umm…yay” He says lifting his hands slightly in an awkward celebration and I can’t help but smile.

“I’ve missed you.” I say, moving towards him.

“I’m so sorry.” He starts but I shake my head.

“Don’t.” I say, looking away, “I don’t want to remember any of that.” I say

“Does that mean…we can put it behind us?” He says eagerly, “Will you come back to me?”

“Oh…Danny…I…I don’t know.” I mutter, suddenly feeling terrified. “It’s complicated.”

“Cat…I’m…not like before…I’m better now I promise, I just…needed time.” He says, moving towards me,

“I know, I know that.” I say, taking a step back.

“Then…why can’t we go back to before?” He asks and I keep my eyes on the floor. “Cat?”

“I…I…It’s just…complicated.” I stutter.

“Hey Cat!” A voice suddenly calls and I see Glen has, quickly, joined us. He was probably standing by; waiting to check everything went smoothly.

“Hey.” I say with a small smile.

“Dan I think there is still some cake going, you wanna come and get some?” Glen asks but just as he does someone else joins our little group making my heart plummet.

“Hey Princess! Been looking for you!” Eoin cries, placing his hand on my shoulder, to steady himself most likely. “Oh, hey, nice to meet you, I’m Eoin.” He says cheerily,

“Hi, I’m Glen, this is Danny.” Glen says, trying to keep friendly but I can see in his face he too knows this is a disaster. “Right, we better go, cake is calling.” Glen says smiling, beginning to steer Danny away who has frozen, staring at Eoin. “Nice to see you.” Glen says before turning and guiding Danny off.

“You okay princess? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.” Eoin says as I see Danny turn one more time to stare at us.

“I’m fine.” I say and luckily he is too intoxicated to question any further.

“Fancy a drink?” Eoin asks and I shake my head, still watching the back of Dan’s head. “Okay,” He says before beginning to walk off in search of another drink.

I watch him go before looking back at Danny again. Whatever just happened there, I get the feeling it really wasn’t good, which is impressive because, if I’m honest, I didn’t think it could get any worse, obviously I was wrong.

You know what, actually, maybe I really could do with that drink after all.

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Hi....long time no see....well...not that i can see u of course but yeh...

Just want to say how sorry i am for not posting in such a long time but its been exam time and these last few weeks i moved into my last year at secondary school and god its so much work! but finally off for the summer so hopfully i can get back to some proper updates!

Btw anyone hear the script on bbc radio 1 this morning? Superhero's sounds amazing! I cant wait for No Sound Without Silence!

So, Danny and Cat met again! yay...or is it?

there are a few little quotes in there from fandoms i like....one from Torchwood (my latest obsession. so far my holiday has only considered of the torchwood boxset!) and one from Being Human. Also there is a classic quote, one of the most famous, from the brilliant classic show Dad's Army which was around in the late 60s and 70s but i love it its brilliant! (I may have put more in when writing and forgotten them though lol) but dedications are avalibe if u can tell me those!

Also there is a small speech from Kathrine often called Kate in the Shakespeare play The Taming of The Shrew which i put in cause well i was out of ideas and had been talking to my mum about how my first and middle names are after characters in shakepeare plays (she is a bit of a shakepeare fangirl...) and i thought about Cathrine (Cat) in this and yeh...there u go!

Please vote and let me know what you think of any events in this chapter or what u think might happen...or anything really...just so i know im not rambling on to myself! Really hope u enjoyed the chapter! thanks so much for reading your all amazing!

                            Jess :)

 P.S. dont forget KETTLE! :)