Chapter 11- Cracked

*Sean’s POV*

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking fuck!” I hear my brother yell from the other side of the bathroom door.

“Luke?” I call but all I hear is another round of swearing followed by a loud cracking sound and a cry of pain. “Luke, are you ok? Open the door!” I call, rattling the handle but to little effect. “Luke?!” I call as I hear sudden cries of…terror? “Luke!” I try again, beginning to ram the door with my shoulder, trying to ignore the pain and probably instant bruising. I hear a few more cries and some clattering sounds before suddenly, everything goes quiet. If anything, this panics me more.

I give the door one more tremendous push before it suddenly gives way, falling inwards, causing me to fall with it. I groan in pain as I pick myself up from the floor, blinking quickly to try and clear my vision. I sit on the floor, looking around the wreckage of the bathroom. The shower curtain ripped from its pole, the floor by the sink covering in broken glass and toothbrushes and the mirror cracked out from the centre. “Luke?” I say quietly, getting to my feet and going over to where he sits, leaning between the wall and the toilet, gazing into space, his right hand bloody at his side. “Luke? Luke?” I call, leaning into his view line, placing my hands on his shoulders and he murmurs some form of response. “Luke, are you alright?” I ask though I know it’s rather a pointless question. “Luke, what happened?” I say softly and some recognition of the question crosses his face. His eyes slowly move to mine, and then to the bombsite behind me.

“There was a mouse.” He says in a dull, toneless voice but it brings a small smile to my face.

“Come on, let’s get that cleaned up.” I say, looking down at his cut knuckles before taking his arm and pulling him to his feet. I lead him over to the sink before taking a flannel and wetting it in cold water before beginning to dab away the blood from his hand. “Honestly, mother said to me once, ‘you keep an eye out for Luke won’t you, he’s more reckless than the lot of you put together’; I’m starting to see what she meant.” I say with a light smile. “Although, I think I have known for a long time, do you remember when you attached that sofa to the back of Matt’s car? And he drove you through the streets as you stood on it playing ‘The Final Countdown’? Mum went ballistic!” I say, grinning at the memory. Luke too smiles a little, before flinching and snapping his eyes closed as I dab at his hand again. “There we go, just hold this on it a little while longer.” I say, pressing the flannel on and letting Luke take it. For a moment we stand in silence before I can bare it no longer. “Luke, what’s going on?” I ask, seeming to snap him from a little trance.

“Nothing, I’m fine,” He says defensively. I raise my eyebrows, looking around the room again.

“You sure?” I ask and Luke sighs,

“I just got…angry.” He says, and I nod. “Dan just…it felt like he was blaming me for all this shit…you know? Like I somehow didn’t give one about everyone, like it was my fault everyone seems so bloody miserable.” He says, looking down.

“He is just very…stressed. He didn’t mean any of it, don’t take it to heart.” I say, suddenly feeling a pang of pain as I realise how like Kayla I sound, and how she may never sound, to my ears, again.

Luke sighs, sitting down on the toilet lid, resting his head in his hand. “Was last Christmas really bad?” He asks suddenly, looking back up at me. I sigh, trying to think of how best to put it.

“It…it wasn’t great…no. There was a lot of arguments…and tears.” I say and Luke sighs, closing his eyes and dragging his hand slowly through his hair.

“God, why the hell did I ever go to the fucking hell hole? It’s destroyed everything.” Luke mutters to himself, taking a gasping breath as if he is holding back tears.

“Luke…” I begin but he cuts me short.

“No I’m fine.” He says, rubbing his temples. “Just my head, my head fucking hurts.” He says. I just stand and watch him for a moment, feeling helpless. I watch as his hands move from his temples towards his ears, as if he is trying to block out some silent sound. I watch my little brother with a heavy heart, no matter what he says, he is defiantly not ‘fine’. Ever since he came home something hasn’t been quite right, on the outside, he seemed to be the same reckless young boy who left 18 months ago, but every now and again the mask slips off, and you catch a glimpse of what lies beneath; I don’t know what it is, but it certainly isn’t Luke O’Donoghue.

*Glen’s POV*

I stand in the doorway, watching as Danny rips the sheets from the bed and kicks the wooden leg, causing him to cry out in pain as he swipes his arms sideways, knocking the various objects from the bedside table to the ground. “Dan.” I try to say but I don’t think he hears me, and to be honest I’m a little afraid to interrupt his rage. I see him raise a foot, ready to stamp on the smashed ornaments and glasses. But then, suddenly he stops. For a moment he is totally still before suddenly sliding to the ground. I slowly venture into the room, coming up behind him, suddenly stopping as I see what he holds in his hands. He turns and looks up at me, his eyes full of tears, before looking back down at the smashed photo frame. I take a shaky breath before sinking down next to him, gazing sadly at the photo; the three of us, Cat, and Autumn; all laughing and squealing as Cassidy shook water out of her coat all over us.

We sit in silence for what feels like years, gazing at the photo, I don’t know what Dan is thinking but I can make a good guess, probably the same as me; why did it have to change? Why couldn’t we just stay as we are in that picture, safe, happy, a family?

“I don’t know what to do.” Danny suddenly whispers, looking up at me, tears sliding down his face, “I don’t know what to do, Glen.” He whispers, his lip quivering.

“It’s ok Danny boy, it will be ok.” I whisper, putting an arm around him in an attempt to comfort him and discover just how much he is shaking. I gaze down at the photo in his hand, my eyes following along the cracks in the glass. That’s what are now, all of us; cracked, and somehow I fell it will take more than superglue to mend us.

*Mark’s POV*

Glen sighs heavily as he shuts the car door and I know it’s his way of hinting at me to ask what’s up.

“You ok?” I ask and he signs again,

“Oh, I don’t know.” He says as he fastens his seatbelt.

“Yeh, I know that feeling.” I mutter quietly.

“It’s just…I’m worried about Danny.” He says, “You should have seen him early…it was like…like last year all over again. And yes so we all breakdown every now and again, god I know that, but…I’m worried he won’t be able to bring himself out of this.” Glen says and I make some mumbled sounds of recognition as Glen kicks the car into life.

Silence falls in the car as Glen sets off down the road, the only sound coming from the back seats where Cassidy lies, snoring slightly as she sleeps. As I think about Glen’s words I begin to feel almost angry, angry that he has noticed this in Danny, but not in me. I mean, Danny is a lot more open with his feelings, but it still hurts that nobody noticed. Not that I want them to of course, I don’t want their ‘help’, but it would be nice to be noticed.

“We need Cat.” Glen says suddenly, dragging me from my thoughts.

“What?” I ask, confused.

“She’s the only one that can fix him.” Glen says and I sigh,

“Yes but…after all that happened?” I say and Glen too sighs.

“I know…well…we will just have to find a way.” He says, bringing the car to a stop. I look out of the window towards the house, the only light coming from the downstairs window, and feel something strange in my heart. “Well, night then.” Glen says, looking at me expectantly.

“Yeh…umm…night.” I say, opening the car door and stepping out. I give him a wave, waiting for him to drive off but he doesn’t. So, slowly, reluctantly, I make my way toward the house. When I’m on the doorstep I turn back one last time, begging for him to leave, but he is still there, waiting for me to go in, forcing me inside. I sigh, digging out my keys from deep within my pocket before slotting them into the door for the first time in a month.

“Home sweet home.” I mutter before slowly pushing open the door and stepping inside.

*Kara’s POV*

The wind bites at my skin, sending shivers through my body as my clothes slowly filled with water, dragging them down and making it hard to move. I find myself longing for the warmth of central heating, the shelter of a roof and walls. But I can have none of those things, and I doubt I will ever be able to have them again.

I sigh, mentally trying to slap myself out of the mind-set. Why am I still not used to this yet? It’s been months...almost a year I think, so why am I still not used to it?

I guess, it’s because you can never get used to it, being alone, being cold and dirty, being lost. Is it even worth it? Would I have been better just staying? I would have had a home at least…well…sort of.

No, no I wouldn’t have had a home. I didn’t have a home for months, years before I actually left. I lost all sense of a home, or a family, a very long time ago.

I keep walking along the streets as street lights flicker on around me, as the rain finds its way through every inch of my clothes. The music from a nearby shop slowly drifts out into the slowly quietening streets and I smile a little. When I was younger, walking along the streets in late evening with Marley, the rain falling all around me, the warm, orange light of the streetlamps reflecting off the droplets, music playing in my ears; I used to pretend I was in a film. It’s odd, but those evening where probably the best times of my life.

The rain begins to grow heavier, spattering down on me, intent on trying to crush me to the ground. I duck my head and speed up my pace, slipping down an alley way where the tightly packed building provide some shelter from the downpour. Up ahead I see the wall falls back into what I assume to be a doorway, it’s not ideal but it looks sheltered enough. However as I approach I hear a familiar sound, covered slightly by the rain; someone is crying.

I could just turn away, find a different doorway to shelter in, I have enough troubles as it is without having to console a crying person. But…I can’t just leave them, because I know what that’s like, I know what it’s like to be left like that and I can’t put that onto someone else.

I slip into the doorway, relived to be out of the rain. I hear the crying stifle itself slightly as the perpetrator notices my presents. “Bad day?” I ask, rubbing my arms, trying to warm the up. There is a sniff and in the dim light I see the outline of the person huddled in the corner nod. “First night on the streets?” I ask.

“Second.” The figure croaks; a female voice?

I sigh, I can’t just leave her on her own, she only sounds about twelve, I can’t just leave her.

I try to move towards her but stumble on something and the girl takes a panicked breath.

“Oh, sorry.” I say as she snatches up the guitar. “Do you play?” I ask as I slide down the door a couple of feet from her. The girl nods again, “I see,” I say; busking doesn’t get you much but it gets you something…

“I’m Kara.” I say, holding my hand out to the girl, putting on my friendliest smile. She slowly takes it, giving it such a small shake I barely feel it…or is that just cold? “So, what’s your name?” I ask. For a moment she is silent, gazing down at her guitar, before finally she answers.

“Amber, my name is Amber.” She says, looking up at me and I catch a glimpse of cooper eyes in the moonlight. 

“Well Amber, if you like, I shall be your guide, welcome to the gutters, don’t worry, it’s not quite as bad as it seems, at least you can see the stars.”

******************************************************

hiya guys! Long time no see hey? lol so sorry about that but this weekend has been the first in a month where i have had no exams...and im afraid after this i probs wont have time to update for another month because i have all my end of year exams after easter and im away some of the time and revising the rest and i have a french GCSE speaking (which im terrible at) before the holidays so ive gotta work for that! So yeh, sorry!

But anyway hope u liked this update! Just incase u were confused Kara's POV was a flashback :) lol but yeh, really hope u liked it! thanks so much for reading please do vote and comment! ur all amazing! :)

                                Jess :)

And dont forget that old tradition that is KETTLE :)