“Mia are you okay? You’ve been quiet the whole flight…”

I heard Jenna whisper in my ear as we walked up to the holiday house.

We were in Bora Bora for my birthday, which was Saturday, Brie figured it would be nice if we flew in a couple of days earlier.

The guys would be flying in the next night which would be Friday.

“I have a major headache. I just need to sleep” she nodded and walked on.

Ever since Monday I have been off. I isolated myself yet again which caused Nikki to pitch up at my door to make me presentable before our flight and to bite my head off for not speaking to Roman.

“I brought some sleeping tablets with for you to get you through the night” Nikki side hugged me as we walked in and I smiled.

“Thanks babe have you heard from Roman?”

“Yeah he said he would be here tomorrow..”

“At least I’ll have a day before he comes, technically, I just hate fighting with him”

“Its your birthday weekend he wont I don't understand why you couldn't just pick up the phone. I know the landline works, Mia I don’t know whats going on but please just … this is your weekend for you to forget about everything and enjoy yourself okay?”

I nodded as I headed into mine and Roman’s room we would be sharing. I took a quick shower and put on my panties with a long sleeve baggy sweater just in case one of the girls came in to check on me then my marks would be hidden.

The bruises on my ribs were fading but the one on my arm was still visible and that was the injury I couldn't explain so I had to keep it hidden.

2006

“mom are you home? Of course you're not I don’t know why I even bother asking” I threw my bag on my bedroom floor.

“She’s not here…But I am”

I heard his voice and turned, it was my mom’s boyfriend. I had always made sure to lock my bedroom door whenever he would be around but that was usually when my mom was home.

“Where is she?” I turned to face him and realized he had closed my door.

“She went to get groceries for me to eat which should give me enough time”

I didn’t understand what he was saying, as he moved closer to me I soon did, before I could run he grabbed my arms and threw me to the floor.

“Enough for you to be all mine!” He climbed on top of me and pinned me to the floor.

“Let me go!!!” I brought my knee up and he groaned and I raced out the door.

“Let me fucking go!!!” I screamed out and as I opened my eyes I saw Roman staring back at me.

He let go of me as soon as he saw my eyes open.

“What the hell Mia..” he groaned as his lip was busted open.

I immediately jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom, slammed the door behind me and began throwing up.

I couldn’t deal with all those images flashing in my mind, I had forgotten it for so long and everything was coming back and I could feel myself drifting back to who I was.

I had thought I could be strong but it was harder than I thought and when you're alone in your apartment for a couple of days,your mind consumes you..

“Mia, open up…”

I heard Roman’s voice as he knocked on the door.

I got up and splashed my face and stared at myself. I realized I had dark circles under my eyes .

“Mia, if you don’t…”

I opened the door and pushed past Roman, making sure my hair was all over my face and searched through my luggage.

“Mia, you are not going to fucking ignore me!” he said and went into the bathroom as I heard the water running as he must've been looking over his lip.

I stood up and headed for the door and opened it only to have it slammed shut as I saw Roman's arm reaching over me.

“What did I do?” I heard him whisper behind me and I could feel the lump in my throat surfacing but I ignored it and turned to face him as I leaned against the door.

“Nothing… I just wasn’t expecting you till tonight that’s all, I'm really sorry” I reached out and gently traced my thumb over his swollen bottom lip and he held his hand over mine.

“You’ve been ignoring my calls again…” he whispered against my fingers.

I didn’t even know why I did.

“I'm sorry..” he looked down into my eyes for the first time and I saw his jaw clenching and I knew he was fighting with his emotions.

“So you weren’t at any of the live shows you said you'd go to but yet you couldn’t find the time to answer the phone while you were doing whatever you were doing?” he removed my hand and walked away from me.

“I'm…”

He turned and glared at me.

“You’re sorry yes I fucking know Mia, you’re sorry for every fucking thing! Mia, what the fuck do you want me to do? You tell me you’re dealing with things and I try to be there for you. And then everything is fine for a bit but its like you are fucking pushing me away each time we get happy. Like I'm a fucking disease or something and then you just expect sorry to fucking fix everything well it doesn’t because something is going on . You are keeping something from me and I'm pretty sure I'm better off not knowing what it is at this point, judging by the way you are..” he disappeared into the bathroom.

“What is that suppose to mean?” he came out of the bathroom wearing his swimming shorts.

“Absolutely nothing Mia, just get dressed “ he opened the door.

“Don’t worry we’re fine” he smiled slightly and disappeared down the hallway and I prayed those cheating thoughts weren't resurfacing...

“Birthday girl!” Paige screamed out as I made my way into the kitchen.

I was wearing my bikini with a knitted jersey that hung just below my bottoms which hid my bruises well.

I smiled as I sat on the arm of the chair where Roman sat drinking juice.

“What time is it?” I asked as the lounge was filled with my girls and well Roman with a coffee table filled with what was breakfast I guessed.

“Just after 11” I heard Roman answer and looked down at him as he looked ahead.

I breath in deeply as I knew it was going to be a long weekend and I hated that he was mad at me and it was all my doing. But I knew I had to get it together as my friends had come for me and I couldn’t spoil our vacation.

“Mia is looking a bit confused, Roman what did you do to her this morning when you got in?” Eva teased.

I sunk into Roman’s lap and I could feel him tense briefly before he placed his hand over my thighs.

“Nothing I didn’t even hear him come in” I shrugged and turned to Roman with a smile and he stared back at me searching in my eyes for something.

I turned away immediately and faced the girls, “So any plans for the day?”

“I figured we could just chill here until the guys get in tonight and then check out the club” Nikki smiled as she reached for some fruit.

They ended up discussing some hotspots and I felt Roman give my thigh a squeeze which caused me to turn to face him.

“Kiss me..”

“What?” I raised my eyebrow as I was confused.

“Just kiss me Mia…” he whispered and I shook my head as he was being odd and we were sitting with all of our friends.

“Excuse me..” he said and lifted me up and left the room.

“He's feeling a bit jet lagged I guess”

“Awww poor guy, lets head out to the pool for a bit” Brie said as they got up.

“I’ll be right there…” I smiled and headed to the room where I found Roman sitting on the edge of the bed .

“Roman what was…”

“ I just wanted a simple kiss from you….”

“Roman stop being silly ,you’re overreacting over a…”

“Don’t tell me I'm overreacting! Cause I'm fucking not Mia. I was gone for a week and you didn’t even bother answering your phone when normally if I'm away for fucking two days you’re ready to fly out to join me. Its the same story yet again its like the moment I am gone.. What changed?”

“Nothing changed Roman I just…”

“You just missed all of the live shows as well with no reason and now when I want to kiss you, you don’t even…”

“If you want me to fucking kiss you. I will Roman!”

“Mia you are not fucking seeing what is happening here! I don’t think you even care to see this past couple months you’ve just fucking been different and you want to act like everything is fucking hunky dory when its..”

I felt the tears flowing down my face as he was right, things were different but he was the one thing that wasn’t different that I loved and I needed and I was making him feel like shit. I knew he had been holding all of this frustration and anger in all this time so I wasn't surprised by his outburst. And me ignoring him this week was the last straw..

“Don’t fucking cry Mia, every time…”

“Stop shouting at her!” I heard Nikki’s voice and turned to find her in the doorway.

“Nikki please, this has got nothing to…” Roman stood up behind me.

“When I come in here and hear you going off on my best friend it has everything to do with me, she’s fucking crying and you don’t even care. You just need to calm down..”

“Don’t tell me to calm down, you don’t know whats going on here so you cant..” he stared back and forth between Nikki and I  and shook his head.

“You know exactly whats going on, don’t you? With her? Why she’s like this...”

I sighed, “She doesn’t fucking know anything cause there is fucking nothing to know. Nikki, I appreciate the help but this is between Roman and I, I just need some air..”

I walked out of the room into the hallway.

“Are you seriously leaving right now Mia?”

I ignored him and walked out. 

◆◆◆◆

Okay so that was messed up :/

I can't wait to hear what you guys think about it.

Was Roman's outburst long overdue?

Should he have just ignored it again??